The Catastrophe Café

#8 In Praise of Curiosity and Courage

Philosopher Laurie Ann Paul writes that when facing a truly transformative decision — one that will change not just your life but who you are — you can't evaluate it rationally. You can't pre-feel it. So she offers a different question: which path am I most interested in discovering?  That idea stayed with us long after we stopped recording.  In this episode, Fabio and Anita explore why curiosity and courage are two halves of the same thing — and what it looks like to live them both, in leadership, in relationships, and in the small choices of everyday life.  In this conversation, we explore:  ✓ Why curiosity is not just about big discoveries — it's about being willing not to know, and the whole new world that can open up from there  ✓ How courage turns curiosity into action — and why one without the other leaves something essential incomplete  ✓ What Laurie Ann Paul's concept of transformative experience means for the decisions we can't rationally evaluate — like having a child, or making a leap we can't yet imagine ourselves on the other side of  ✓ The idea of microcourage — everyday acts of bravery like speaking up, staying curious a little longer in a conversation, or trying something unfamiliar  About The Catastrophe Café:  Join Anita Aerni and Fabio Duma [https://www.fabioduma.ch] for honest conversations about the beautiful mess of work, life & everything in between. No polished soundbites - just real dialogue about the challenges we all face and how we make sense of them.  Music & Editing by George Hurd  [https://www.georgehurd.com/] Connect with us:  🌐 www.anitaaerni.org  [anitaaerni.org] 🌐 www.fabioduma.com [www.fabioduma.ch] Season 1 Episodes:  ✓ Balance  ✓ The Art of Slow Living  ✓ Navigating Change  ✓ Trust Issues & Tissues  ✓ Choosing your Reality  ✓ Habits: Stability or Stagnation?  ✓ Navigating Relationships  ✓ In Praise of Curiosity & Courage

#7 Navigating Relationships

The world’s longest study on happiness — running since 1938 — found that close relationships matter more for health and longevity than money, fame, genetics or IQ.  Yet most of us treat relationships as something that just happens, rather than something we actively and consciously build.  In this episode, Fabio and Anita explore how to build, sustain and repair the relationships that shape our lives — in teams, families and friendships.  In this conversation, we explore:  ✓ Why relationships are more like fitness than a feeling — they need consistent training, not grand gestures  ✓ The German word Nachtragend — resentful — which literally means “carrying after” someone. It’s you who carries the load, not them.  ✓ How to do a relationship audit: mapping your ecosystem to see where to invest and what to let go of  ✓ Why kindness is a strategy — because we never know what someone else is carrying  And on that last point: philosopher Alain de Botton reminds us that we’re all shaped by experiences and wounds we didn’t choose. The more weunderstand that about others, the less we take things personally — and the more space opens up for genuine connection.  About The Catastrophe Café:  Join Anita Aerni and Fabio Duma for honest conversations about the beautiful mess of work, life & everything in between. No polishedsoundbites - just real dialogue about the challenges we all face and how we make sense of them.  Music & Editing by George Hurd  [https://www.georgehurd.com/] Connect with us:  🌐 www.fabioduma.com [http://www.fabioduma.com] 🌐 www.anitaaerni.org  [www.anitaaerni.org] Season 1 Episodes:  ✓ Balance  ✓ The Art of Slow Living  ✓ Navigating Change  ✓ Trust Issues & Tissues  ✓ Choosing your Reality  ✓ Habits: Stability or Stagnation?  ✓ Navigating Relationships  In Praise of Curiosity & Courage

#6 Habits - Stability or Stagnation?

Habits run 70% of our decisions on autopilot. That's both a superpower and a trap.  We all have routines that ground us and free up mental energy for what matters. But some habits quietly keep us stuck — repeating patterns formed long ago, in contexts that no longer exist.  "Each time you act consistently, your brain interprets this as evidence of your identity." This is what makes habits so powerful — and so worth examining.  In this conversation, we explore:  * The feedback loop between identity and habits — and why "I am a runner" outlasts "I want to run 5km" * Why autopilot is useful until it isn't — and how childhood patterns follow us into our professional lives * Practical strategies to build, replace, and evolve habits without being too hard on yourself * The role of self-awareness and courage when habits become comfort zones that hold us back.  We also get personal — Fabio's home gym born from lockdown, Anita's work on taming the advice monster, and why breaking a habit is sometimes less a behavioral challenge and more an act of courage.  About The Catastrophe Café:  Join Anita Aerni and Fabio Duma for honest conversations about the beautiful mess of work, life & everything in between. No polished soundbites - just real dialogue about the challenges we all face and how we make sense of them.  Music & Editing by George Hurd  Connect with us:  🌐 www.fabioduma.ch  🌐 www.anitaaerni.org  Season 1 Episodes:  1. Balance ✓  2. The Art of Slow Living ✓  3. Navigating Change ✓  4. Trust Issues & Tissues ✓  5. Choosing your Reality ✓  6. Habits: Stability or Stagnation? ✓  7. Navigating Relationships  8. In Praise of Curiosity & Courage

#5 Choosing Your Reality

What if the reality you're living in is one you've chosen - and can choose differently?  We all see the world through different lenses shaped by our upbringing, experiences, and values. But we can become aware of these lenses and decide whether they're helping us or holding us back.  "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." - Kierkegaard  This quote captures something profound. We spend so much time trying to make sense of the past, but the power lies in how we choose to move forward. The question isn't just what happened to us, but how it can shape our future - the opportunity, the learning, the meaning we can create from it.  In this conversation, we explore:  * The shift from "what is happening to me" to "how can this shape my future"  * Moving from seeing the glass half empty to half full  * Practical ways to train awareness and choose our perspective  And then... why worry? If there's a solution, act. If there's no solution, accept. Save your energy for what's within your sphere of influence.  We share our own journeys with perspective shifts—Anita's toward greater trust and equanimity, Fabio's through questioning a lens that was affecting his health. Both of us learned that while we can't control what happens, we can always choose how we respond.    About The Catastrophe Café:**  Join Anita Aerni and Fabio Duma for honest conversations about the beautiful mess of work, life & everything in between. No polished soundbites - just real dialogue about the challenges we all face and how we make sense of them.  Music & Editing by George Hurd [http://www.georgehurd.ch].  Connect with us:  🌐 www.fabioduma.ch [http://www.fabioduma.ch] 🌐 www.anitaaerni.org  [http://www.anitaaerni.org]   Season 1 Episodes:  1. Balance ✓ 2. The Art of Slow Living ✓ 3. Navigating Change ✓ 4. Trust Issues & Tissues ✓ 5. Choosing Your Reality ✓ 6. Habits: Stability or Stagnation?  7. Navigating Relationships  8. In Praise of Curiosity & Courage

#4 Trust Issues & Tissues

Trust is something fundamental in our lives. It's about psychological safety, mutual acceptance, respect, and the freedom to be authentic without fearing consequences. Without trust, there is no flourishing – we can only dedicate ourselves fully when we feel safe to be our true selves.  In this episode, Fabio and Anita explore the essential ingredients of trust: authenticity (staying true to yourself even when you see things differently), openness (not hiding things, even when they don't give the best light), and vulnerability (sharing your challenges and showing you're human like everyone else).    The conversation moves from personal trust to organizational contexts, examining how trust functions as a hard skill that makes things faster. As Stephen Covey describes in The Speed of Trust, when leaders trust their people at the front lines and ask powerful questions instead of having all the answers, they unlock expertise, avoid mistakes, and truly engage their employees. When staff trusts their leaders, they embrace the larger vision with far less resistance.  We also reflect on how true presence and listening have almost become a luxury in modern life. Many people feel they have nobody who truly listens with an open heart and without judgment – which is where coaching can help, though it's important to choose carefully, as "coach" isn't a regulated profession.  Key topics:  Why authenticity, openness, and vulnerability build trust  How trust functions as both a warm feeling and a conscious decision  The role of cultural context in understanding trustworthiness  Why leaders need to build trust to unlock the expertise of those at the front How coaching provides non-judgmental space (and why credentials matter)  Connect with us: 🌐 www.fabioduma.ch [http://www.fabioduma.ch] 🌐 www.anitaaerni.org [http://www.anitaaerni.org] The Catastrophe Café - honest conversations about the beautiful mess of work, life & everything in between.  Music & Editing by George Hurd. [http://www.georgehurd.com] Season 1 Episodes:  1. Balance ✓  2. The Art of Slow Living ✓  3. Navigating Change ✓ 4. Trust Issues & Tissues ✓ 5. Choosing your Reality  6. Habits: Stability or Stagnation?  7. Navigating Relationships 8. In Praise of Curiosity & Courage