The Rebel's Way

19. Don't Go Quietly

In this episode of The Rebel’s Way, I’m talking about silence—why so many women learn to stay quiet to keep the peace, and why perimenopause often refuses to let that strategy keep working. What started as a reaction to what’s happening in our country quickly became a deeper reckoning with how often we swallow our anger, soften our voices, and abandon ourselves in the name of safety and belonging. Perimenopause isn’t random. It’s often the moment the body stops being willing to carry decades of suppressed truth. When we stay silent about what matters, the body doesn’t experience that as peace—it experiences it as stress. Over time, that chronic stress can show up as inflammation, anxiety, sleep issues, exhaustion, and a body that feels like it’s no longer cooperating. This episode is an invitation to listen to what your body has been telling you—and to stop paying the cost of your silence. IN THIS EPISODE, WE EXPLORE: 1. Why staying quiet feels safer—but isn’t 2. How women are conditioned to prioritize peace over truth 3. The connection between silence, stress, and the nervous system 4. Why perimenopause often becomes a breaking point 5. A powerful question to ask yourself: Where am I silencing myself to keep the peace? If something feels heavy in your body… if staying quiet is costing you your health or your sense of self—this episode is for you. IG: @starlynhaneman [https://www.instagram.com/starlynhaneman/] Website: Wholesome Rebel Wellness [https://www.wholesomerebelwellness.com/] Email: starlyn@wholesomerebelwellness.com [starlyn@wholesomerebelwellness.com]

18. Self-care gives me the ick

Welcome back to The Rebel’s Way podcast — your no-BS guide to living a badass life as a woman in your 40s. I’m your host, Starlyn, and today we’re talking about something that might feel uncomfortable… but deeply true: Self-care and self-love give me the ick. Not because women don’t deserve care. Not because we shouldn’t take care of ourselves. But because the way self-care is framed often ignores how deeply women have been conditioned to be selfless, not self-honoring. In this episode, we get into why self-care feels selfish for so many women — and why that reaction isn’t a personal failure, but a result of long-standing societal programming. Women are taught to: 1. Put everyone else first 2. Be the caregivers, organizers, and emotional managers 3. Earn rest instead of expecting it 4. Take care of themselves last — if there’s any energy left So when we’re told to “just practice self-care” or “love yourself more,” our nervous system often responds with guilt, resistance, or shutdown. IN THIS EPISODE, WE EXPLORE: 1. Why the terms self-care and self-love trigger discomfort for so many women 2. How women are conditioned — at home, at work, and in society — to prioritize others over themselves 3. Why taking care of yourself can feel selfish, even when you know you need it 4. The invisible emotional labor women carry in families, workplaces, and relationships 5. How motherhood and caregiving reinforce patterns of self-abandonment 6. Why mainstream self-care advice feels fluffy, unrealistic, or disconnected from real life 7. A powerful reframe: self-care as self-preservation 8. Why modeling self-care and self-respect matters for the next generation of women I also dive into New Year’s resolutions — why most of them fail, and how goals rooted in self-loathing instead of self-respect rarely lead to sustainable change. You can’t hate yourself into a healthier body, a better life, or a more regulated nervous system. Real change happens when goals come from: 1. Self-trust 2. Self-respect 3. And the belief that you’re already worthy of care This episode is a reminder that: 1. You don’t need to earn rest 2. You don’t need permission to take care of yourself 3. And you don’t need to wait until everyone else is okay to matter Because when women stop abandoning themselves, everything changes. 🎧 Listen now, and if this episode resonated, please follow the podcast, leave a review, or drop a comment on Spotify — I read every single one, and your support helps grow this show more than you know. You can connect with me at wholesomerebelwellness.com or on Instagram @starlynhaneman. Until next time — keep choosing yourself, and keep living The Rebel’s Way.

17. Welcome to the No-Fucks Era

Welcome back to The Rebel’s Way podcast—your no-BS guide to breaking the rules, trusting yourself, and living your most badass life in your 40's. I’m your host, Starlyn, and today we’re officially entering a new chapter: Welcome to the no-fucks era. This episode is a real-time reflection on perimenopause, menopause, and the wild, humbling, sometimes rage-filled transition that so many women are navigating—often without support, education, or honest conversation. If you’ve ever felt like you were falling apart, losing patience, questioning your sanity, or wondering what the hell is happening to your body, this episode is for you. I’m sharing personal updates from my own perimenopause journey, including hormone therapy, unexpected plot twists (hello, surprise period), and the deep realization that this phase of life isn’t here to break us—it’s here to strip away what no longer fits. In this episode, we explore: 1. Why perimenopause and menopause feel so disruptive—and why it’s not your fault 2. How hormonal changes can impact mood, sleep, anxiety, rage, and self-trust 3. The truth about control (spoiler: we don’t have much of it) 4. Why this transition is a powerful deconditioning from people-pleasing and patriarchy 5. How losing estrogen often comes with losing the ability to tolerate BS 6. Why this phase of life can become the most authentic, liberated era yet 7. The importance of grace, self-care, and meeting your body where it is 8. How perimenopause can be the gateway to your most unapologetic self This episode is an invitation to stop seeing perimenopause as something that’s “wrong” with you—and start recognizing it as a biological and spiritual initiation into deeper truth, boundaries, and freedom. CHALLENGE FOR YOU: Instead of fighting this transition, try getting curious. Ask yourself: 1. What am I no longer willing to tolerate? 2. What feels heavy, forced, or out of alignment? 3. What might my body be asking me to release? You don’t need to have answers. You just need honesty—and a little grace. RATE AND REVIEW: If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and review The Rebel’s Way podcast. Your reviews help more women find this space, feel less alone, and realize they’re not broken—they’re evolving. CONNECT WITH ME: Follow me on Instagram @starlynhaneman for honest conversations about perimenopause, women’s health, nervous system regulation, self-trust, and breaking free from the cages that keep us small. Because this phase of life? It’s not the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of freedom.

16. Move Your Damn Feelings

Welcome back to The Rebel’s Way podcast—your no-BS guide to breaking the rules, trusting yourself, and building a life that actually feels like yours. I’m your host, Starlyn, and today we’re diving into something I accidentally left out of last week’s episode… and it might just be the most important piece of all: The secret to processing big feelings: movement. After celebrating six years alcohol-free, I shared three practices that helped me transform my life. But there was a fourth one—the one that held everything together—and it deserved its own spotlight. This episode is all about intentional movement, not as exercise or a fitness goal, but as a way to process emotions instead of swallowing them, numbing them, or reacting to them. In this episode, we explore: Why movement and exercise are not the same thing—and why intention matters How moving your body helps emotions pass through you in seconds instead of sticking inside you Why numbing feels good in the moment but keeps you stuck long-term The difference between reacting to your feelings and processing them How walking became my emotional anchor when I stopped drinking My go-to practices when I’m overwhelmed, irritated, hormonal, or just DONE Why being “comfortable being uncomfortable” is the real growth edge How movement keeps me from reacting to my kids, spouse, and the chaos of real life This episode is your reminder that emotions aren’t dangerous, discomfort won’t kill you, and your body knows exactly what to do when you give it the chance to move what you’re holding. CHALLENGE FOR YOU: The next time frustration, sadness, irritation, or overwhelm hits, don’t swallow it or numb it. Instead, take 60 seconds to step outside and move—walk a block, breathe, shake it out, dance in your kitchen. Let your body do what it’s built to do. Movement is the doorway to emotional freedom. RATE AND REVIEW: If this episode stirred something in you, please take a moment to rate and review the show! It helps more women find The Rebel’s Way and start their own journey toward authenticity and freedom. CONNECT WITH ME: Follow me on Instagram @starlynhaneman for doses of authentic living, women’s empowerment, nervous system regulation, and the beautifully messy midlife journey—because freedom never comes from staying comfortable.

15. The Decision That Changed My Life

Welcome back to The Rebel’s Way podcast—your no-BS guide to breaking the rules, trusting yourself, and building a life that actually feels like yours. Today we’re talking about the decision that set me free: choosing an alcohol-free life six years ago. Two weeks ago, I was deep in the messy goo of perimenopause and exhaustion. Today? I finally feel like myself again. Whether it’s the hormones, the early morning sunlight, or just an energetic shift, something finally fucking clicked—and it brought me into some seriously deep reflection about my six-year alcohol-free anniversary and the freedom it created in my life. In this episode, we dive into: * What six years alcohol-free has really taught me about clarity, peace, and self-trust * Why quitting alcohol didn’t feel hard—and what made it possible * The three simple, free practices that supported my transformation: gratitude, meditation, and grace * How numbing keeps us stuck and why discomfort is the doorway to freedom * The worthiness wound behind never resting and always doing * Whether I miss drinking—and why I still don’t want to go back This episode is your reminder that you don’t need a complicated plan or a huge life overhaul to change your life. You need honesty, support, and small, consistent actions that reconnect you with who you actually want to be. Challenge for You: What area of your life is calling you toward freedom? This week, notice where you’re numbing out—food, wine, scrolling, busyness—and give yourself one moment of honest pause instead. That’s where the door to freedom starts to crack open. Book Mentioned: 👉 This Naked Mind by Annie Grace — the book that made quitting drinking feel effortless and life-changing. Rate and Review: If this episode moved you, please take a moment to rate and review the show! It helps more women find The Rebel’s Way and start their own journey toward authenticity and freedom. Connect with Me: Follow me on Instagram @starlynhaneman [https://www.instagram.com/starlynhaneman] for doses of authentic living, women’s empowerment, and midlife transformation—because freedom never comes from staying comfortable.