By The Moonlight

do you actually want it or do you just want to be seen with it?

Why does going after what you want feel dangerous for women? We’re chatting all about ambition, Tall Poppy Syndrome, and the aspiration trap,  from how women are punished for success to the way social media fuels constant striving. Most importantly, we’ll explore how to tune out the noise and learn to want for yourself. Go Deeper: * Women hate women who go for what they want. [https://substack.com/home/post/p-154288888] * Tall Poppy Syndrome: When You Get Cut Down for Standing Out [https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/tall-poppy-syndrome/] * Crab mentality [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality] * The Modern Girl is Crippled by Aspiration. I’m One of Them. [https://substack.com/home/post/p-167763343] * Aspirational Consumers: Why they Matter and What Brands Should Know [https://www.gwi.com/blog/why-aspirational-consumers-matter] * The Year Everyone Started ‘Manifesting.’ Does It Work? [https://www.wsj.com/tech/personal-tech/the-year-everyone-started-manifesting-does-it-work-cc6e658f?gaa_at=eafs&gaa_n=ASWzDAgC92WsVBD3_1esSEIurmwEjmVC-PiYMW8x_pzk5pNQoGTY0zznxIvSjY6Nzag%3D&gaa_ts=686b1757&gaa_sig=scZHh90wUZjdX8jGxwBSokNVah_lA_pUNcHusfHQ6PwJOm1TT5i5gjzJSr0xBXEgEQjxSU9HrWDzvcUmQYaL4Q%3D%3D] * Aspirational Marketing: Balancing Dreams And Reality In Brand Storytelling [https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescommunicationscouncil/2025/01/14/aspirational-marketing-balancing-dreams-and-reality-in-brand-storytelling/] * Practices that help you understand what you want from life [https://substack.com/home/post/p-163795043] ⭐️ https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast [https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast]  💌 bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com [bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com]

fun is self care (the productivity myth is lying to you)

We’ve been taught to treat fun as a luxury, something you “earn” after the work is done. But what if fun isn’t optional? What if it’s the most overlooked form of self-care? In this episode, we're focusing on why rest alone isn’t enough to recharge us and how adding a little whimsy can shift everything. We’ll talk about: * Why hustle culture dismisses fun as “frivolous” * How joy and playfulness actually restore energy and prevent burnout * Simple ways to build unserious rituals, add a “fanciful 10%” to the mundane, and make fun part of your daily rhythm Because fun isn’t wasted time. It’s what makes life meaningful. I’d love to know: what’s one whimsical thing you’re going to try this week? Go deeper: Here's why you should make a habit of having more fun by NPR [https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/02/04/1150518287/fun-play-happiness-stress-reduction] Stop Being a Victim of Your Own Life by Smart Is Sexy [https://substack.com/home/post/p-170199598] Siece Campbell's TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@siececampbell] Stop trying to be happy. Instead, have more fun by CNN [https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/15/health/fun-habit-wellness] ⭐️ https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast [https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast] 💌 bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com [bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com]

art is the antidote (so make yours)

If you’ve been sitting on a creative idea (or you’re scared to start again) this is your sign. Starting something new is hard. Starting again can feel even scarier, especially when it’s vulnerable, risky, or doesn’t match your past “success.” I get it. I’ve been holding onto this podcast idea for over six months, stuck in the fear of being perceived, misunderstood, or judged. But here’s the truth: your art might be the antidote to someone’s pain… and keeping it to yourself might be the most selfish thing you could do. In this episode, I’m sharing mindset reframes and personal stories to help you take that first (or next) step toward the project that’s been living rent-free in your head. We’ll talk about: * The real weight of starting (and why waiting only feeds perfectionism) * How fear of being judged is really fear of choosing self-protection over self-expression * Why “doing it right” doesn’t matter if you never actually start * Giving yourself permission to begin again quietly, imperfectly, and just for you If you’ve been waiting for clarity, confidence, or the “perfect” timing, this is it.  Go Deeper: * Give yourself permission to not care (what people think about you) by Stepfanie Tyler [https://www.wildbarethoughts.com/p/give-yourself-permission-not-to-care?r=47ttex&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] * “Facing Your Fear of Being Misunderstood IS the Creative Process” [https://youtu.be/1dotmX2C4bs?si=pJyJz-lpynE0hPnE] * How to start doing something, instead of saying you will do something by CHICGIRLMOMENT [https://open.substack.com/pub/chicgirlmoment/p/how-to-start-doing-something-instead?r=47ttex&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] * "Why You Need to Make Art” TEDTalk [https://youtu.be/2XZ9z6OewR0?si=lbh3qW1vtJJua2kF] ⭐️ https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast [https://linktr.ee/bythemoonlightpodcast]  💌 bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com [bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com]

devotion over discipline

What if staying consistent isn’t about motivation or strict discipline, but about devotion? Think: showing up for what you love like it’s an act of deep care. In this episode, we explore why the “just start” advice isn’t the whole story and how to sustain momentum in a way that feels gentle, not punishing.Carmen shares: * Why motivation alone can’t carry you * How reframing discipline into devotion changes everything * Recent things she's been trying to prioritize devotion over discipline This is your reminder that showing up for yourself doesn’t have to feel like a chore. It can feel good!💌 ⁠bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com [bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com]⭐️ Watch on YouTube [https://youtu.be/_GRkw6uaXmE]

you don’t need to be better, you need to be more you

What if the goal isn’t to keep chasing “better,” but to simply become more yourself? In this episode, we untangle the pressure to optimize every corner of our lives and ask why we’ve been taught to perform, perfect, and make ourselves palatable just to belong. Carmen shares: * The quiet ways we learn to shrink ourselves to keep others comfortable * How wellness culture feeds the endless chase for “better” * A mindset shift that asks, who actually benefits from my self-doubt? * A new approach to growth: interning for your higher self instead of forcing transformation overnight Plus, she leaves you with three journal prompts to help you reconnect with the parts of you you’ve tucked away. This is your reminder that the world doesn’t need another polished, perfectly-optimized version of someone else. It needs you, exactly as you are. Sources mentioned: * “the quiet thrill of not being for everyone” [https://www.wildbarethoughts.com/p/the-quiet-thrill-of-not-being-for?utm_source=%2Fsearch%2Fthe%2520quiet%2520thrill%2520of%2520not%2520being%2520for%2520everyone&utm_medium=reader2] by Stepfanie Tyler  * “Optimized to death [https://open.substack.com/pub/nikitawalia/p/optimized-to-death?r=47ttex&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false]” by Nikita Walia * lovesophieburns TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@lovesophieburns/video/7530402695216254239] * ariannakyanne TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@ariannakyanne/video/7529655086629408014]  💌 bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com [bythemoonlightpodcast@gmail.com] ⭐️ follow Carmen on TikTok @carmenfayeee [https://www.tiktok.com/@carmenfayeee]