250. From People Pleasing and Perfectionism to Self-Trust: What Ambitious Women Need to Know

250. From People Pleasing and Perfectionism to Self-Trust: What Ambitious Women Need to Know

Perfectionism, people pleasing, and pretending you have it all together are often talked about as personality traits. What if they're actually survival strategies? In this conversation, I sit down with clinical psychologist and executive coach Dr. Anne Welsh to explore why so many ambitious women find themselves stuck in these patterns, even when they know they're no longer serving them. We talk about the hidden cost of constantly performing, why success can still feel empty when you're disconnected from yourself, and how years of focusing on everyone else's needs can make it difficult to even know what you want anymore. Dr. Anne shares why people pleasing isn't really about being nice, why perfectionism is often rooted in fear, and how self trust is built through small moments of choosing yourself rather than waiting until you're confident enough to do it. We also explore the difference between fear based striving and healthy ambition, and why the goal isn't to become less ambitious but to become more aligned with what you're actually striving for. This is a conversation about coming home to yourself while still creating the life, work, and impact that matter to you. RESOURCES MENTIONED: * Connect with Dr. Anne Welsh: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drannewelsh/] | https://drannwelsh.com [https://www.drannewelsh.com/] * Ambitious Mothers book (pre-order, Release Day Aug 6) [https://amzn.to/4fXtEDG] * The Should Session: To Stop you from bringing work stress home! Find out exactly what belief is keeping you stuck in should energy [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/gzhFT9F5/checkout]. Only 5 spots available, expiring on 10/6/2026. WORK WITH ME: 1. Breakthrough Intensive - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/LN9xep94] 2. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/privatecoaching] Connect with Sam: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/samantha.s.says] | Facebook [https://www.fb.com/coachsamanthahawley]

249. Journal With Me: What Feels Unsafe About Slowing Down

You have a list. Maybe it's on paper. Maybe it's in your phone. Maybe it's running through your head right now. And if someone told you to put that list away for a week, no planning, no organising, no keeping track of every little thing, something in you would probably feel uncomfortable. Not because you need the list. Because of what the list helps you avoid feeling. Today's journaling prompts are designed to help you get underneath the overwhelm and uncover the belief that's keeping you busy. JOURNAL PROMPTS 1. When I picture a day with nothing on my list and nothing that needs to get done, what is my first feeling? Not the first thought. The first feeling. 2. When I’m busy and productive, what does that say about me? You can expand this beyond productivity if it feels more true for you. When you’re helping, achieving, showing up, or staying involved, what does that mean about who you are? 3. When I’m still and unproductive, what does that say about me? On the days when you’re resting more, doing less, or not going above and beyond, what story do you make that mean about yourself? 4. If you had to stop writing to-do lists for one week, what are you actually afraid would happen? Keep going deeper than the obvious answer. Then go one layer deeper again. 5. What would it mean about me if I let myself rest before I earned it? Take the fear or belief that came up in the previous prompt and place it into this question. Notice what comes up without trying to change it. The goal isn't to stop making lists. It's to notice what happens when there isn't something to organise, fix, achieve, or cross off. Pay attention to what came up as you wrote today. Because the belief underneath your overwhelm is often easier to see in moments of stillness than it is in the middle of a busy day. RESOURCES MENTIONED: * The Should Session: To Stop you from bringing work stress home! Find out exactly what belief is keeping you stuck in should energy [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/gzhFT9F5/checkout]. Only 5 spots available, expiring on 10/6/2026. WORK WITH ME: 1. Breakthrough Intensive - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/LN9xep94] 2. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/privatecoaching] Connect with Sam: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/samantha.s.says] | Facebook [https://www.fb.com/coachsamanthahawley]

248. What If Your To-Do List Is Keeping You Overwhelmed?

Your desk is covered in sticky notes. There are reminders on your phone, notes in a notebook somewhere, and a running mental list that never seems to stop. Crossing things off feels productive. It feels responsible. It feels like you're staying on top of everything. But what if your to do list is helping create the very overwhelm you're trying to escape? This conversation looks at the hidden comfort of staying busy, why empty space can feel surprisingly uncomfortable, and what might actually be underneath the constant need to keep doing. If you've been telling yourself things will finally calm down once the list is shorter, this episode invites you to consider a different possibility. Maybe the list isn't the problem. Maybe it's what the list is helping you avoid. RESOURCES MENTIONED: * The Should Session: To Stop you from bringing work stress home! Find out exactly what belief is keeping you stuck in should energy [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/gzhFT9F5/checkout]. Only 5 spots available, expiring on 10/6/2026. WORK WITH ME: 1. Breakthrough Intensive - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/LN9xep94] 2. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/privatecoaching] Connect with Sam: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/samantha.s.says] | Facebook [https://www.fb.com/coachsamanthahawley]

247. Journal With Me: What Feels Safe About Staying Stuck?

You keep thinking about making the change. Setting the boundary. Starting the thing. Having the hard conversation. But somehow, you keep ending up back in the same place. Not because you don’t care. Because some part of your current life still feels safer than the unknown. This episode is an invitation to stop overthinking and start getting honest about what your comfort zone is protecting you from. JOURNAL PROMPTS: * What is the one thing you keep circling back to but haven't fully committed to yet? What is it that you want to feel, create, or do? * If you fully committed to that decision or vision, what are you afraid of? What do you think you'd be risking? * If you just stayed where you are, claiming it might get easier or a sign will come, what feels safe and comfy cozy about right now? The journaling prompts in this session will help you uncover what you’ve been avoiding, what you’re afraid could happen if you actually moved forward, and what staying where you are has been giving you emotionally. Because sometimes the hardest part isn’t making the change. It’s admitting that a part of you still feels safe staying the same. RESOURCES MENTIONED: * The Should Session: To Stop you from bringing work stress home! Find out exactly what belief is keeping you stuck in should energy [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/gzhFT9F5 ]. Only 5 spots available, open for 2 weeks only. WORK WITH ME: 1. The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table] 2. Breakthrough Intensive - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/LN9xep94] 3. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/privatecoaching] Connect with Sam: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/samantha.s.says] | Facebook [https://www.fb.com/coachsamanthahawley]

246. Why “Doing It All” Still Never Feels Like Enough

I’ve noticed that so many women already know they’re overwhelmed. We know we’re carrying too much. We know we’re stuck in “I should” thoughts all day long. But what actually changes things is understanding the belief underneath those thoughts. Because underneath “I should be doing more” is usually something deeper. If I rest, I’m lazy. If I need help, I’m failing. If I’m not the one holding everything together, I’m not enough. In this episode, I talk about the guilt, pressure, and all or nothing mindset that keeps so many women stuck in overfunctioning at work, at home, and inside their own minds. I also walk through the deeper work that has to happen before real change can actually stick. Not just replacing thoughts with positive affirmations, but questioning the standards, expectations, and beliefs that have been running the show for years. This conversation includes real examples from coaching women through motherhood, leadership, rest, productivity, and the fear of slowing down. If this episode resonates, I want you to pay attention to the questions that come up while listening. Your answers will tell you far more than your to do list ever will. RESOURCES MENTIONED: * The Should Session: To Stop you from bringing work stress home! Find out exactly what belief is keeping you stuck in should energy [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/gzhFT9F5]. Only 5 spots available, open for 2 weeks only. WORK WITH ME: 1. The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table] 2. Breakthrough Intensive - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/offers/LN9xep94] 3. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me [https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/privatecoaching] Connect with Sam: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/samantha.s.says] | Facebook [https://www.fb.com/coachsamanthahawley]