Blooming Outside the Lines

never enough—is this fear really yours?

What if you realized your fear of being good enough was actually someone else’s fear? Would it help you to let it go? In this episode, I discuss inherited fears, how old fears remain alive and well when isolated in the brain, and how, instead of fearing being enough, we need to work on recognizing the pressure we feel to be enough as an outdated, inherited fear.    Link to episode with study of mice and cherry blossoms: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18891699 To contact me with your feedback: info@creatingchoicesdeblang.com To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ [https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/] for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  ¨    If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. [https://amzn.to/45exhwp] To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

what does "good enough" really mean?

Do you find yourself struggling with a fear of not being good enough? If so, you are certainly not alone. In this episode, I explore * whether we have an end-goal when we talk about being good enough. * whether “good enough” actually exists or instead is a relic from the past. * how we might tap into our women’s wisdom to heal this fear of not being good enough and the constant striving that accompanies it. To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ [https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/] for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. [https://amzn.to/45exhwp] To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can buy me a cup of coffee at: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

can you make someone feel happy, sad, . . .?

In my last episode I introduced appeasing and disconnecting and our tendency to swing back and forth between the two. In this episode, I begin looking at how we can change that pattern by examining the belief that we are responsible for how others feel. I share * how common this belief is—even our language supports it. * why it is so difficult to change. * why this belief doesn’t make sense based on the functioning of the brain. Link to Episode 11: "women, epigenetics, and the need to please" https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18891699 Link to episode mentioning the limited role of the eyes in body image: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18732702 To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ [https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/] for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. [https://amzn.to/45exhwp] To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

when is it my turn? or, how do I hold on to my needs in relationships?

Do you say “yes” to coffee even when you don’t have the time, or do you worry about saying “no” for fear the person will no longer approve of you? In this episode I tackle the struggle that so many of us face: how to hold on to what we need while in relationships. I introduce * the entangled intimacy style I noticed over the years in working with women. * the continuum, with appeasing at one end and disconnecting at the other, and why we tend to swing back and forth. * the mysterious middle—the place where we can rest from our struggles to be good enough. In my next episode, I begin talking about how to change these patterns by asking the question, “Can we make people happy?” To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ [https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/] for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. [https://amzn.to/45exhwp] To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

finding the gift in anxiety

In my episode, “Stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life,” I shared research supporting a shift in how we perceive anxiety. In this episode I talk about how to make that shift. I share, * how anxiety is like a blanket.  * how peering under the blanket gives us the information we need to deal with our anxiety. * strategies for dealing with mobilization in the body, to feel more confident, enhance performance, and lead a meaningful life. * how to work with chronic anxiety. Link to previous episode—"Stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life." https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18971115 To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ [https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/] for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. [https://amzn.to/45exhwp] To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.