Cover image of show Even if you're scared.

Even if you're scared.

Podcast by King Sil and special guests

English

Culture & leisure

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About Even if you're scared.

Even If You’re Scared is a podcast about showing up for your life… even when you don’t feel ready.Hosted by Sil, a Black, queer, transmasculine person, this space holds honest conversations about identity, love, grief, becoming, and everything in between. It’s about carrying loss while still making room for hope—and learning how to live with both at the same time.Some episodes go into the heavy things. Other days, we laugh, talk about music, books, culture, relationships, and the moments that make life feel good again.Nothing here is overly polished or perfect. This is a space for honesty—for the hard, the soft, and everything in between.Occasionally, there may be special guests where we bounce ideas, stories, and perspectives off each other for deeper conversation and connection.If you’re figuring it out as you go… you’re not alone here.

All episodes

8 episodes

episode The Quiet Parts artwork

The Quiet Parts

A slow, unpolished, and deeply personal look at what life becomes when nothing is fully finished and nothing ever really stops. Inside a 1,000-square-foot Brooklyn apartment, days blur between routine and drift—waking on a couch instead of a bed, moving through a to-do list that never quite changes, and living in the quiet loop of work, memory, and survival. Ordinary details—like a missing remote, shifting light on the walls, or labeled bags left behind by a mother—become anchors in a life that feels constantly in motion. This episode doesn’t try to tidy itself up. It moves the way real thoughts do: messy, nonlinear, and honest in its incompleteness. It sits in the space between stillness and overwhelm—living alone, thinking too much, loving from a distance, and trying to stay present in a mind that rarely turns off. Nothing is resolved here. Nothing is completed. It’s just life, continuing—one quiet moment at a time. If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it. You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours. Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it. And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today. Just keep going gently. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncertain. Even if you’re scared.

22 May 2026 - 12 min
episode Somewhere Between Overwhelmed and Hopeful artwork

Somewhere Between Overwhelmed and Hopeful

This week’s episode explores consistency and what it looks like when life feels scattered, heavy, and unfinished. A long distance, open relationship sits alongside deep missing, emotional honesty, and the complexity of staying connected across distance. Work as a bartender shapes how attention, flirting, and perception are experienced, often blurring the line between presence and projection. Beneath it all is the daily weight of adulthood—maintenance, exhaustion, grief, and the quiet effort it takes just to keep going. There are no answers here, only the act of continuing anyway. If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it. You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours. Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it. And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today. Just keep going gently. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncertain. Even if you’re scared.

15 May 2026 - 10 min
episode Mother's Day Special "The First Women I Ever Loved" artwork

Mother's Day Special "The First Women I Ever Loved"

A special Mother’s Day episode dedicated to the women who shape us, love us, raise us, and remain with us long after they’re gone. This episode reflects on the loss of a mother and sister, the weight and beauty of remembrance, and the ways love continues through family, ritual, memory, and everyday acts of care. From dressing an altar and sharing a meal to holding space for complicated family dynamics and generational love, this conversation honors motherhood in all its forms. A deeply personal episode about grief, gratitude, devotion, and the first women who ever held my heart. If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it. You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours. Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it. And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today. Just keep going gently. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncertain. Even if you’re scared.

10 May 2026 - 7 min
episode It Hurts So Good artwork

It Hurts So Good

Love isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s longing. Sometimes it’s distance. Sometimes it’s the people who stay on the phone with you while you cry, or the memories left behind by the people who don’t stay at all. Episode 5 explores romance, connection, grief, friendship, family, and the quiet ways love continues to shape us long after moments have passed. From long-distance affection to the imprint of past relationships, this episode reflects on what it means to love deeply in a world that often asks people not to. A softer episode about vulnerability, intimacy, memory, and the strange beauty of caring too much. The soft parts of love I can't let go of. If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it. You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours. Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it. And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today. Just keep going gently. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncertain. Even if you’re scared.

7 May 2026 - 10 min
episode What's Left of Me? artwork

What's Left of Me?

When caring for everyone starts to cost you... You can't carry everything and still keep yourself. This episode explores what it feels like to be pulled in multiple directions at once—balancing family, responsibility, grief, and personal well-being. It dives into the tension between wanting to show up for the people you love and realizing you may not have the capacity to carry everything placed on you. There’s an honest reflection on guilt, emotional responsibility, and the pressure to fix situations that don’t have clear solutions. The episode also touches on the reality of healing—how moments of clarity and progress, like those found in therapy, can feel temporary when overwhelm returns. It highlights the nonlinear nature of growth and the frustration of feeling like you’re starting over. At its core, this is a conversation about learning where to draw the line between supporting others and preserving yourself. For anyone feeling stretched thin, emotionally responsible, or afraid of losing themselves while trying to hold everything together—this episode offers a moment of recognition and grounding. If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it. You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours. Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it. And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today. Just keep going gently. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncertain. Even if you’re scared.

1 May 2026 - 8 min
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