Last Time I Watched

Last Time I Watched: Small Soldiers

If the apocalypse becomes a reality, we're making a long distance call to Gorgon. Any potential conflict will be easily mitigated by a dash of The Gorgonite magic and charm. The four horsemen would embrace their quirks, zombies would find a little heart, and an ice age would melt from their warmth. An asteriod? Now THAT would be a great antagonist for a sequel. Our heroes may be small, but they will soldier on as they band together to take on any threat- we're looking at you Commando Elite!

Last Time I Ate: Chef Boyardee vs. SpaghettiOs

Microwaves in the early 2000s were for two things, and two things only: Chef Boyardee and SpaghettiOs. The signature processed meat smell, the red sauce splatter that you're still trying to scrub off, and the "ting" of your spoon against the bowl as you stirred. Those were the things that made us forget our troubles instantly. On this week's bonus episode, we revisited some of our favorite Italian foods in a can.

Last Time I Watched: Holes

It still haunts my dreams-the quick and unpredictable movements as I would walk to the canteen. It wasn't Mr. Sir, the relentless punishment of the summer sun while digging holes five feet wide by five feet deep, or even the warden herself. That yellow spotted lizard controlled us there at Camp Green Lake. There was a sobering fear in the other camper's eyes. Maybe scariest of all is that I was drawn to it. Maybe it was a kinship? Or the Yelnats curse? Either way, revisiting that summer on this week's episode of Last Time I Watched provided a catharsis that I can't explain. Sincerely,  Stanley Yelnats.

Last Time I Watched: Harriet the Spy

It's Welsch. Harriet Welsch. 007 is her age, not her code name. She'll take her juice box shaken, not stirred. Her notebook is for her eyes only. If you take a peek, you will know only a quantum of solace for the rest of your days. Was this the rewatch that had us saying diamonds are forever or did we give it the goldfinger?

Last Time I Watched: It Takes Two

Who would win in a fight: a brown bear or the Olsen twins playing identical strangers? What about a herd of buffalo or Steve Guttenberg's 90's dad vibes? A snow leopard or Kirstie Alley's social worker's heart of gold? We're putting our money on the memorable details from It Takes Two, every damn time.