Own Your Pleasure

In this conversation, Whitni Miller and Tuesday Feral discuss the challenges and strategies for non-binary and trans individuals in navigating pleasure and intimacy. They explore the impact of dysphoria on sexual experiences and the importance of finding ways to feel comfortable in one's body. They also discuss the use of accessories and clothing to affirm one's gender identity during sexual encounters. Communication and consent are emphasized as crucial in creating positive experiences, and the importance of individual preferences and authenticity in defining pleasure is highlighted. They also discuss the concept of gender dysphoria and how it can impact sexual experiences. They emphasize the need for trans-affirming and sex-positive support for individuals who may be struggling with their sexuality. They also address the issue of hyper-sexualization of trans people and the negative impact it can have on their self-esteem and relationships. Mx. Tuesday Feral, of Feral Resiliency, is a neurospicy educator, coach, therapist, and consultant. From creating and facilitating support programs, offering sexual health and gender exploration support as a coach, to working as a licensed counselor and sex therapist, Tuesday has been supporting trans and nonbinary folks and their families in Western North Carolina since 2008. With a unique, trauma informed, kink and CNM aware perspective, Tuesday also finds great fulfillment in teaching workshops and courses as well as providing consultation to individuals and groups who want to better support nonbinary and trans people in their work and their lives. Tuesday lives with their beloved feline companion in a small cabin surrounded by delightfully overgrown gardens, and in their free time they can be found gazing at the moon lovingly, tending their gardens and plants (and trying to outwit the resident groundhog to no avail), engaging in creative endeavors, dancing with abandon, nerding out about trauma and attachment or other topics of interest, and connecting with loved ones. Learn More From Tuesday: https://www.feralresiliency.com [https://www.feralresiliency.com] feralresiliency@gmail.com [feralresiliency@gmail.com]  Follow Tuesday at: FB - @mxtuesday IN - @feralresiliency Other resources mentioned by Tuesday: https://tranzmission.org/ [https://tranzmission.org/] https://openpathcollective.org/ [https://openpathcollective.org/] Learn More From Whitni: https://www.bde-moves.com [https://www.bde-moves.com] Follow Whitni at: TikTok - @bdemoves IG - @bde.moves FB - groups/bdemoves YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks

00:00:00 Welcome & Introduction to Adelina Adler 00:04:16 Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) 00:05:12 Hard Truths before starting in an ENM relationship 00:09:26 Self-Reflection and Considerations in ENM 00:12:54 Debunking Misconceptions & Defining Poly & ENM Styles 00:23:05 Polyamory: Emotional Attachment and Multiple Loves 00:26:07 Is Polyamory an Orientation? & Navigating Jealousy and Envy in Poly Relationships 00:43:10 Maintaining the Ethical Aspect of Polyamory 00:46:35 Unicorn Hunting: Approaching Ethically and Avoiding Power Dynamics 00:49:16 Challenging Hierarchical Polyamory 00:51:10 Recovering from Heartbreak 00:55:38 Managing Time in Multiple Relationships 00:59:30 Questioning Societal Norms In this episode, Whitni Miller and Adelina Adler discuss ethical non-monogamy and its various forms. Adelina, a GSRD sex coach and educator, explains that ethical non-monogamy is when individuals choose to open up their relationships outside of just one partner, both sexually and amorously. They emphasize the importance of communication, consent, and respect in ethical non-monogamous relationships. They debunk common misconceptions, such as the idea that ethical non-monogamy is a license to cheat, and highlight the need for emotional maturity and stability in relationships before opening them up. They also discuss the different types of non-monogamy, including polyamory, swinging, and relationship anarchy. In this conversation, Adelina Adler and Whitni discuss various aspects of ethical non-monogamy and polyamory. They explore topics such as relationship anarchy, jealousy vs. envy, the importance of informed consent, and the need to challenge societal norms and expectations. They emphasize the importance of communication, autonomy, and respect in non-monogamous relationships. Adelina also shares insights on recovering from heartbreak, managing time and scheduling, and the need for self-care and self-reflection. They encourage listeners to educate themselves, question societal constructs, and create their own relationship scripts. Learn More from Adelina: https://www.askaddyadler.com [https://www.askaddyadler.com] Follow Adelina at: IG - @askaddyadler Tikok - @askaddyadler YouTube & Spotify - Sexplorations! With Adelina Adler Ko-fi - @askaddyadler Reach out to Whitni at: www.bde-moves.com [http://www.bde-moves.com] Follow Whitni at: TikTok - @bdemoves IG - @bde.moves FB - groups/bdemoves YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks

In this episode of 'Own Your Pleasure', host Whitni Miller engages with Ash and Dawna Noble, founders of Queer Couples Academy, to explore the intricacies of queer intimacy and relationship dynamics. They discuss the PACT model of therapy, the importance of understanding attachment styles, and how vulnerability plays a crucial role in building secure connections. The conversation delves into the impact of technology on relationships, the difference between interdependence and codependency, and the significance of aftercare and open communication in maintaining healthy partnerships. Through their insights, Ash and Dawna emphasize the importance of co-regulation and navigating power dynamics to foster a safe and nurturing environment for love and connection. In this conversation, Whitni and the Nobles explore the complexities of queer and straight relationships, focusing on the dynamics of roles, expectations, and communication. They discuss the high stakes involved in queer relationships, the importance of emotional space, and the need for effective conflict resolution. The conversation also delves into attachment styles, trauma healing, and the significance of creating safety and trust within relationships. They emphasize the hope for change and the potential for growth in all couples, regardless of their backgrounds. Ash and Dawn Noble collided in 2020 when brought together by a shared trauma that completely rearranged their lives. As a result, they co-created a vision to build the safest relationship either of them have ever been in as they set out to become the cycle-breakers within their own family systems through the relationship they're building as a couple. With that shared vision, they've launched Queer Couples Academy, where they share the skills that are needed to build a safe & secure relationship through the PACT model, which is a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin. Learn More From Dawna & Ash Noble: TIKTOK - @queercouplesacademy IG - @ashanddawnnoble Queer Love Essentials: Pre-Sale! - https://www.queerrelationshipcoaching.com/QLE-Pre-Sale [https://www.queerrelationshipcoaching.com/QLE-Pre-Sale] Learn More From Whitni: https://www.bde-moves.com [https://www.bde-moves.com] Follow Whitni at: TikTok - @bdemoves IG - @bde.moves FB - groups/bdemoves YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks

00:00:00 Introduction: Celebrating Queer Pleasure 00:01:28 Breaking Stereotypes: Queer Women and Pleasure 00:05:36 Challenging Internalized Misogyny in the Queer Community 00:19:50 Embracing Pleasure-Centered Sex 00:27:53 The Need for Authentic Representation in Porn 00:33:46 Debunking the Myth of 'Lesbian Bed Death' 00:37:27 The Lack of Open Conversations Among Women 00:41:53 Consent and Abuse 00:43:51 Pleasure as Medicine 00:47:51 Being Your Own Lover 00:50:35 The Harmful Effects of People-Pleasing 00:52:11 Embracing Self-Love for Personal and Collective Growth 00:54:03 Join Us for the Empowerment Retreat in Costa Rica In this episode, Whitni and Coach Khanyi challenge the stereotypes and assumptions about queer women's sexuality. They discuss how queer women can be both soft and loving, as well as fierce and passionate in their sexual experiences. They explore the importance of owning and embracing all aspects of their pleasure, including the more dominant and submissive roles. They also address the internalized misogyny and homophobia that can limit queer women's sexual expression and attraction to other masculine-presenting individuals. Overall, they advocate for authenticity and self-acceptance in queer intimacy. The conversation explores the importance of self-acceptance and self-enjoyment in one's body and sexuality. It emphasizes the freedom that comes from not seeking acceptance or understanding from others, but rather finding comfort and pleasure within oneself. The discussion also touches on the significance of creating safe spaces in relationships and the need for mutual consent and understanding. The conversation challenges societal norms and stereotypes surrounding lesbian sex and highlights the importance of authentic representation in porn. It also addresses the concept of 'lesbian bed death' and critiques the limited and flawed studies that have perpetuated this myth. The conversation explores the societal expectations and stereotypes around sex and pleasure for women, particularly masculine women. It highlights the importance of women creating spaces to talk about sex and pleasure, as well as the need to challenge patriarchal norms. The conversation also emphasizes the healing power of pleasure and the importance of self-love and self-pleasure. The upcoming retreat in Costa Rica is mentioned as an opportunity to let go of people-pleasing and embrace radical self-acceptance. Join Whitni & Khanyi in Costa Rica: Book your trip here - https://trovatrip.com/trip/central-america/costa-rica/costa-rica-with-whitni-miller-nov-2024 Grab Coach Khanyi’s Books & more: https://coachkhanyi.kartra.com/page/Nwk17 Follow Coach Khanyi at: IG: @lifecoachkhanyi TikTok: @lifecoachkhanyi   Reach out to Whitni at www.bde-moves.com [http://www.bde-moves.com] Follow Whitni at: TikTok - @bdemoves IG - @bde.moves FB - groups/bdemoves YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks

00:00:00:00 Welcome & Introductions  00:01:23:01 Heather's Journey into Pelvic Floor Therapy & Sex Counseling 00:05:19:15 The Intersection of Pelvic Floor Therapy and Sex Counseling 00:08:24:12 Addressing the Bio Psychosocial Aspects of Sexual Health  00:10:23:07 What is Pelvic Floor Therapy and Who is it for? 00:16:30:20 Passive Tightness vs Having Control of the Pelvic Floor Muscles 00:19:27:21 Pelvic Floor to Sex Counseling 00:28:09:27 Creating Realistic & Emotionally Honest Representations of Sexuality in Fiction 00:36:07:26 The Importance of Vulnerability and Communication 00:41:02:22 Expanding the Definition of Sex & The Power of Consent 00:49:22:27 Writing and Reading Authentically Realistic Erotica 00:54:18:20 Affirming Masculinity & Gender Identity 00:58:19:22 Queering Sex and Breaking Away from Heteronormative Scripts 01:03:51:06 Vino and Vulvas: Creating Open and Inclusive Conversations about Sexuality In this episode, Whitni Miller interviews Heather Edwards, a sex educator, sex counselor, and pelvic floor therapist. They discuss Heather's background and how she got into pelvic floor therapy. Heather explains that pelvic floor therapy can help with urinary issues, pain, dysfunction, and other issues related to the pelvic floor. They also talk about the intersection between sex counseling and pelvic floor therapy, and how fiction and erotica can be powerful tools for exploring healthy intimacy and addressing sexual issues. Heather shares her own experiences with writing erotica and the importance of creating realistic and relatable stories. In this part of the conversation, Whitni and Heather discuss the importance of communication and consent in sexual relationships. They emphasize that sex doesn't have to follow a heteronormative script and that it's essential to create a safe space for each partner to express their desires and boundaries. They also explore the power dynamics and role-playing in sexual experiences, highlighting the importance of feeling seen and affirmed. Heather shares her experiences as an erotica writer and the need for more diverse and inclusive representations of sex in literature. They also discuss Vino and Vulvas, a platform where professionals discuss various topics related to sexuality, and Heather's online courses on pelvic health and anal sex. Find out more from Heather at: HeatherEdwardsCreations.com Read Heather's work at: YourEroticSelf.com Follow Heather at: IG @heatheredwardscreations IG @vinoandvulvas Reach out to Whitni at www.bde-moves.com Follow Whitni at: TikTok - @bdemoves IG - @bde.moves FB - groups/bdemoves YouTube - Podcast Channel = @BDE-Moves Old Channel = @BdeTalks