Taylor’d Takes

The Summer House Autopsy Report to In the City’s Rebirth: An Emergency Family Meeting

I’m bringing in the person I religiously call to dissect all things Bravo: my cousin Caileigh, formally known as “Chi Chi.” Just because we’re cut from the same cloth doesn’t mean our takes are always aligned. But one thing about us? We refuse to let a Bravo conversation die. Chi Chi and I aren’t counting sheep… we’ve got Denise Richards in our dreams yelling “BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!!!” We break down the emotional fallout of Kyle and Amanda’s goodbye, Kyle’s tragic Sunday Scaries now that his marriage and show are both over, West’s masterclass in emotional manipulation, why we need Ciara to give CIARA a pep talk about her choices in men, and how Scheana Shay somehow made the Summer House season finale about her. We also make a passionate case for Lindsay and Carl becoming best friends again, discuss Andy Cohen’s obvious favorites, and throw out wildly specific predictions for Kyle and West’s inevitable reconciliation. And so much more. We could’ve kept going. It’s cousin chaos with zero media training, unmatched Bravo lore, and enough over-analysis to earn us honorary producer credits. Plus, Chi Chi brings the kind of insider NYC fashion intel that makes you want to rebuild your wardrobe, rearrange your apartment, and reevaluate every decision you’ve made aesthetically since 2016. Her Substack, Seedy Studio [https://seedystudio.substack.com], delivers weekly observations that are sharp, stylish, occasionally ruthless, and somehow always correct. She’s going to tell you what she thinks whether you asked or not. Share this with your friend that can’t shut up about Bravo. They’ll thank you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylordtakes.substack.com [https://taylordtakes.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Energy Vampires Are Real

I worked graduation weekend, and it reminded me of a few things. * Somewhere in my late 20s I accidentally found another thing I genuinely enjoy outside of Taylor’d Takes: serving. It’s a grind, it’s exhausting, but so is literally every job? I love having a front-row seat to life’s biggest moments. And apparently getting called in as the “morale booster” is now part of my brand lol. * Graduation season sent me into a full college flashback spiral.I thought I was confident… I was actually just aggressively faking it until I made it. No regrets, but also… anyone else occasionally cringe at past-you? * Had a random table conversation about Spencer Pratt running for LA mayor, which somehow turned into a reminder that people love forming strong opinions with zero context. * Ryan and I got into “energy vampires” and the people who turn struggle into a competitive sport. * That I need to reset my expectations because perfection isn’t it. Maybe the win isn’t everything I didn’t get done… it’s that I was actually out there living. * My irrational fear of being kidnapped means I run through parking garages like I’m in a crime show just to get to my car. Questions of the week! Ryan: What’s your Chinese food order?Taylor: Are you running through the parking garage to get to your car late at night? Subscribe, follow, and send this to the friend who’s overwhelmed by everything they want to get done and needs the reminder that they’re actually doing better than they think. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylordtakes.substack.com [https://taylordtakes.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

I Tried the Mall Massage Everyone Walks Past

We’ve all seen the mall massage setup. Some of you are brave. Some of you are curious. I’m both… So I did it. I got a massage in the middle of a mall and documented the whole thing because you deserve to know what actually happens. Is it relaxing? Is it chaos? Main character moment or public humiliation? I take you with me. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylordtakes.substack.com [https://taylordtakes.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Justice for Kyle Cooke: His Apology Tour Is OVER

I’ve been a Kyle Cooke stan since day one and this Summer House rewatch only confirmed it: his apology tour is officially over. Rewatching from season one, it’s clear Kyle’s biggest issue has never been what he’s saying, it’s how he says it. Everyone focuses on the yelling, drinking, and chaos, but misses the pattern underneath it all. Kyle has consistently carried the emotional, financial, and public weight of his relationship with Amanda Batula while still showing up for her and defending her repeatedly. Not to mention Kyle being Bravo’s ultimate “girls’ girl” defending other women in the house over the years. Remember Cristina? The 17-page email he wrote to the house in defense of Amanda? And while Kyle continues to show up for everyone, he gets met with his wife subtly turning the house against him and consistently complaining about him from day one. News flash Amanda: Kyle is the partner YOU chose and continued to choose to stay with. At some point, stop complaining about a situation you keep choosing to be in. Kyle’s delivery often overshadows his valid points, but I am here to say it clearly: Kyle Cooke is done apologizing, and honestly, it’s about time the house apologized to him. Anywhoooooo. Justice for Kyle Cooke! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylordtakes.substack.com [https://taylordtakes.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Bathroom Politics, Turning 29 & Troll Culture

TGIF! A Friday episode because the Met Gala takes fully hijacked Tuesday. Naturally. My birthday was on Sunday, so Ryan and I get into all the extremely important life reflections that come with turning 29 like… wait… did I even fully live my 20s if I’ve never been to a club in Las Vegas? Have I done enough debauchery? I recap what might’ve been my favorite birthday yet: blueberry pancakes, flea markets, a picnic by the water, fake proposals on docks, and meeting a stranger named Kirk who somehow turned my birthday into an unexpectedly wholesome conversation about life, connection, and talking to people more. Not to mention a fisherman made an appearance and gifted me a birthday present. I also tell Ryan about making a VERY concrete birthday wish this year. No more vague wishes. I’m talking SMART goals. Measurable. Specific. Scientific. This sh*t needs to happen before I turn 30. Then my new friend Kirk gives us “questions for the audience” and suddenly we’re discussing: * Why men refuse to say they’re excited about things * The unwritten rules of bathroom etiquette * How to invite a friend to a movie without it feeling like a first date. Who drives? Who buys the tickets? Where are we sitting? * Why adult friendships weirdly feel like dating Taylor’d Takes on: * The power of deleting comments and protecting your energy online * Why I don’t fully speak on rumors until the SOURCE addresses it * Troll culture and whether “Duty Heads” invented online trash talk. Ryan survived 2009 Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 lobbies. IYKYK. Questions of the week! Ryan: What was your favorite game to trash talk in? Taylor: At what age do we stop going into the bathroom stall with our friends? Subscribe, follow, and send this to the friend you go into the stall with. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylordtakes.substack.com [https://taylordtakes.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]