The journey never ends

Building a Crazy Good Community

Hi, and welcome to The Journey Never Ends. Today, I want to give you guys an update of what I've been working on in an effort to create a crazy good community. A community so good, it's insane. So part of getting a community together is community outreach. So I have been working with some nonprofits to see if I can provide value with an event. This event is going to be focused on The event I picture is focused a little bit on... The event I have created and outlined has to do with simple things. It has to do with posture, breathing, mindfulness, and balance. It's a focus on the fact that if you... It's a focus... It has a focus on inner power and how real power is really being able to quiet your mind, see the power you have within you and influence your surroundings. So I'm waiting to hear back from them, but I do hope to collaborate and be able to volunteer some of my services to these communities, to these nonprofits. Another thing I've been doing is going to open mic nights. I have one this Thursday and I had one. Another thing I've been doing is going to open mic nights. I have one planned this Thursday and I did one the other week. I've also been journaling a decent amount, just getting my emotions out. I have been having a couple of fluctuations as is expected with my disorder. And quite frankly, I've realized that when I'm busy and or when I'm not feeling great, I cannot do recordings. My voice actually is incapable of keeping the cadence that I'm used to. And I hate the way it sounds when I'm not feeling well. So I appreciate you guys staying with me as I go through my journey. And when in doubt, remember, the journey never ends. I will be back. Always. That's my commitment to this. Lastly, I also want to mention... Lastly, I'm doing something that is a little scary. I'm actually joining a dating podcast called Whatever... in Santa Barbara, California this weekend. And you might be thinking, why would you join a dating podcast if you're trying to talk about mental health and mental illness? Well, it's pretty simple. One, I'm single. And two, I have a lot of experience with dating and being bipolar. So I feel like I have a lot to say, but really the real reason I am going to California is to promote my following, is to promote Crazy Good, this podcast, my Instagram, anything that I can put out to be able to, in order to be able to continue my journey to create a Crazy Good community. So wish me luck on my endeavors. I really hope things go well. So wish me luck on my endeavors. I am putting out the most positive thoughts I can put out to be able to reach my goals. And as I've talked about in my other podcast, you can see that I have taken action and I am taking action in order to fulfill the goals that I'm targeting. Also, through all of this, I am managing my day job. I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you where I work right now, but I do healthcare technology as a day job. So between all of these activities, I am focused, I'm doing the best I can, and I really appreciate you guys being patient with me as I struggle on a daily basis, as I fight on a daily basis, and as I conquer on a daily basis. That's all I wanted to talk about today. Just give you guys an update on what I'm working on. Tune in on Sunday. Tune in on Sunday to a live stream on YouTube from the Whatever podcast and I will be there. Cheer me on. It would be awesome. Thank you so much for the support. That's all I wanted to talk about. Really appreciate y'all being here. Much love. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crazygoodauthor.substack.com [https://crazygoodauthor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Psychosis Made Me Fearless

Hi, and welcome to The Journey Never Ends. Today I want to talk about fear. One of the first times I finally sat down with a therapist, she asked me, what do you fear? I took a long moment of silence. I stared deeply into her eyes. I didn't blink. And I said, nothing. She tilted her head and thought a little. waiting for me to explain. And I told her that I have no fear because I've experienced the scariest things. When you lose your mind, there's nothing scarier. When you hallucinate about a portal of hell and demons coming after you, there's nothing scarier. When you realize that your entire CPU, aka your brain that you're supposed to trust, suddenly short circuits and place tricks on you, there's nothing scarier. When society decides that you are broken, when society disenfranchises you with the label of crazy, When people tell me I'm crazy, I reply with confidence, crazy good. I am crazy good. I am so good. It's insane how good I am. I don't let society dictate my future. I don't let society expectations of others decide what I'm going to be doing, what my fears are. So if you're struggling with fear right now because of your diagnosis, I get it. I've been there. Keep trucking. Journal. Understand in a way, though, that experiencing fear to the nth degree... can set you free of other smaller fears. I'm not afraid to talk in front of people. I'm not afraid to be disenfranchised by people. I'm not afraid because I fundamentally think that there's nothing I can't go through. If I am capable of overcoming three intense psychotic manic episodes, destroying my life and coming back anew, what else could be worse? What else could be more difficult? In my opinion, I can't even think of it. And I love that. It sets me free. It sets me free to understand that any obstacle that comes my way will be conquered by me. So again, if you're going through fear, it's normal. Work on it. Understand that once you overcome and realize that you can control the power that you give fear, you will be able to live life better because living life in fear is not living at all. So I just wanted to share the perspective that I have that's maybe a little warped because of the fear that I've experienced with my psychosis. I hope that at one point, if you're experiencing this crippling fear, that you can get to this point and that you're let free from the shackles of fear. That's all I wanted to talk about today. Remember to speak crazy, crazy good. Y'all have a great day. Thank y'all so much for being here. Much love. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crazygoodauthor.substack.com [https://crazygoodauthor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Bipolar Flu: When Emotions Feel Physical

Hi and welcome to The Journey Never Ends. I appreciate you guys being patient with me as I haven't been posting recently. I have been going through complicated emotions and been journaling about it and quite honestly felt like I had the flu. I know that sounds weird, but really when you go through intense emotions, they can actually show up in a physical sense for you and affect the way you feel. So the other day I actually spent 15 hours in bed feeling like I had the flu, feeling sick because in reality I was sick. It's like having a common cold, but the cold is really just your brain and your emotional state being unstable. I know that sounds weird, but I give myself grace knowing that I do have a disorder that struggles with consistency. And I do have a disorder that sometimes makes me feel emotionally sick to my stomach and just sick in general. So I urge you guys to just realize that if you're struggling with deep emotions and you feel sick, you need to rest. You need to give yourself space just as if you had the flu because bipolar disorder is a disorder. It's a disability. Don't forget that. Anyways, today I wanted to share with you guys a poem that I wrote recently while I was going through these emotions that highlights the physicality of symptoms that I incurred during these emotions. Here we go. I feel like my head is floating. And my body is sinking. My blood is boiling, but my skin is freezing. So this was just highlighting the fact that I really felt a complex physical reaction to my emotional experience as I laid in bed for 15 hours. So I fell off the horse. I was sick. I had my bipolar flu, but now I'm back. Just like if I were to have the flu, there's a moment where you feel better when you say it's time to clean up all the tissues I had next to my bed. It's time to get on the mic again and continue this never ending journey. So here I am today getting back on the mic. Here I am today recovered from my episodic emotional bout. I hope that when you guys go through something emotionally that you realize it can have physical effects on you and that in many ways you really need to treat it like the flu. Give yourself the space to heal your emotions. Give yourself the space to feel better. Don't judge yourself because you wouldn't judge yourself if you got the flu. Move forward. Remember that the present is where you create the future. The past is to learn from and the future will be created by your present moment. And in fact, your future pasts are created presently. So focus on the present as always. Realize that sometimes you get sick and you feel it in your bones, even if it's emotional and it looks like it's invisible. Give yourself grace. Don't give yourself judgment and get back on the horse because you have to remember that this journey never ends. Move forward, pledge to life, do what you need to do today to be as healthy as possible physically, mentally, and spiritually. So take care of yourselves and And remember, s**t happens. Move forward. I really appreciate you guys being here and again, having patience with me as I go through my journey. I hope you guys have a great day. Much love. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crazygoodauthor.substack.com [https://crazygoodauthor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Transforming Emotion: The Science of Energy and Creativity

Hi, and welcome to The Journey Never Ends. Today, as promised, we're going to go into one of the thermodynamic laws and talk a little bit about how it can impact your emotions, your energy, and hopefully inspire you guys to create a little bit. So as a reminder, this is my favorite thermodynamic law, and I say that in the nerdiest way possible. And as a reminder, it is energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transformed. So I'm gonna start with one of my poems. Emotional, commotional, uncontrollable? No, I am capable. I have been given ample time to sample emotions, taste emotions, smell, feel, and hear emotions. I digest emotions and it fuels me. Therefore, you see, I have more energy. That was my poem. Hope you liked it. A little synopsis of what I'm trying to evoke is the fact that energy is emotion. So don't be afraid of emotion, but instead channel your emotion. Identify, lean into your emotion so you can channel it into something creative, something productive. So you might be saying, how do I do that? Well, I'll give you some tips that have worked for me. First of all, when you're feeling an intense emotion, find a place where you feel safe and close your eyes. When you close your eyes, focus on the emotion at hand. What does it feel like? What does it look like? What color is it? Do you feel it within your body? Is it in your chest? Is it in your stomach? Give form to your emotion and just hold it there. In my experience, I have identified a bad emotion as a dark gray oval sitting upon my chest. It can be a little graphic, but it's a tangible way to identify your emotion so that you can then remove it from within yourself. It can be difficult to do this activity, but the more you practice it, the better you get at it. So the idea is you identify your emotion and then you visualize yourself bottling it up outside of you, releasing it. And the release, in my experience, is easier when you're creating something because you are transforming that emotional energy within you into something beautiful. So for instance, I focus on this dark oval in my chest. I take deep breaths. And I visualize this oval rising above me, above my head. And then slowly or quickly exploding or disappearing or whatever you want to do to destroy this. That's a way to release it without creation, but you can also use it to fuel your art. Just think about it. If you cannot identify the emotion you're going through, how are you going to process it? It has been shown that emotions that are not processed can actually create physical ailments within you because they do get stored within your organs and your body doesn't forget them. So again, lean into your emotion, realize that this emotion is just energy. and either passively release it or I recommend to use it to fuel art. And you might be wondering what this feels like for me. I do it through writing. I write a word that comes to mind and I just start rhyming with it. And I use the rhyme not as a limitation of what I write, but more as a structure to get my mind thinking and get my mind off of the emotion to channel it into the piece of paper. Well, that's all I wanted to talk about today. I really appreciate you guys being here. I hope you have a great day. Much love. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crazygoodauthor.substack.com [https://crazygoodauthor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

We Are a Mush of Molecules

Hi and welcome to The Journey Never Ends. Today I'm going to be exposing myself as a very nerdy person as I recite my poem called Atoms. For those of you that don't know, I have a chemistry degree from Trinity University and in 2010 I was published in a chemistry journal. I don't do chemistry as my day job, but at my core, I'm a woman of science. All right, so here's my poem called Atoms. Atoms are charge dichotomies, avoid and surplus. Atoms are more than philosophies, more than just theory. Nature's must. Full of hypocrisies. Plus, minus, neutral impracticality. We're expanding but collapsing. Made by molecules. I call mush. So this is an introduction to my idea that we are all molecules. our organic body, the air we breathe, the earth we stand on. We are all atoms. We are all molecules. So we are a mush of molecules. I want to share this philosophy that I made up with you guys as an introduction to because I will be exploring in depth and teaching you guys a little bit about the three thermodynamic laws. I utilize the three thermodynamic laws as almost a conceptual framework to explain some self-help concepts. So I'm just going to review the three thermodynamic laws today and we'll have future episodes that dig a little bit deeper into each of them. I hope you're ready for a chemistry lesson, a physics lesson, and to maybe even learn something new. I also want to highlight that in science there are hypotheses, something that you want to test. It's normally an if-then statement. It doesn't have much certainty because it has not been proven. There are also theories, like the valence bond theory, molecular orbital theory, among others. These are things that tend to work. They might not be perfect, but they're generally accepted in the scientific community. These you can count on for the most part. But then there are the laws of physics. For something to be considered a law, that means that it has never been proven wrong. So again, just the concept that we are mush of molecules and these laws really do affect us. Okay, let's get into it. The first thermodynamic law is the conservation of of energy. It goes like this. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transformed. Thermodynamic law number two is the concept that we are pushing towards disorder, that chaos is favorable and that when entropy and chaos is positive, something is more likely to occur. Something is more thermodynamically favorable. And lastly, thermodynamic law number three, everything has an energy unless it is in absolute zero, which is scientifically denoted as zero Kelvin. You might be used to temperature being listed in degrees Fahrenheit or degrees Celsius. But when it comes to thermodynamics, it's actually on a scale called Kelvin. If I remember off the top of my head, I believe that 273 Kelvin is about room temperature. You can fact check me on that. I'd love to know if I remember that correctly. That's really all I wanted to talk about today. I could go on and on about these thermodynamic laws, which I'll do in another episode, but just be ready to experience the nerdiness of me that takes thermodynamic laws and applies them to everyday situations and uses a conceptual idea of these laws to explain ourselves as a mush of molecules. I hope you enjoyed this journey with me. And don't forget, this journey never ends. Thank you so much for being here today. I hope you have a great day. Much love. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crazygoodauthor.substack.com [https://crazygoodauthor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]