The Nutcracker Syndrome podcast

S2E7, Ketamine Therapy Series, Session Two.Two

After recording my last episode on session two, something shifted in a way I didn’t expect. In this episode, I share what happened during the integration that followed, the moment my “scared self” surfaced, the tension that rose between Kyle and me, and what it felt like to finally be held in the middle of grief I’ve carried for years. I talk openly about fear, loss, and the layers of pain connected to my brother, my father, and my mother, and how this release felt different from anything I’ve experienced before. Instead of days of emotional rebalancing, I found myself grounded almost instantly, as if something I’d been holding onto for far too long finally let go. This episode reflects on what it means to feel safe in your body with another person, to lean into grief without being consumed by it, and to notice the quiet, powerful shift that happens when you begin to truly process and release what you’ve been carrying. Listener discretion advised: This episode includes discussion of grief, family loss, and emotional processing.

S2E6, Ketamine Therapy Series, Session Two

In this second installment of my ketamine-assisted therapy series, I walk listeners through what my second session felt like from the moments leading up to the infusion to the psychological and emotional “downloads” that emerged once the ketamine took effect. I begin by reflecting on how this session differed from my first, including subtle but meaningful changes in the pre-session environment and the clinical check-in process. I share the follow-up questions my care team asked based on what I experienced in the days between sessions. This session also marked a dosage increase, moving from 45mg to 55mg, which opened the door to a noticeably different internal landscape. I describe what surfaced once the ketamine was administered: the themes, sensations, and insights that emerged, and how they connected to my ongoing work with medical trauma, grief, and nervous-system regulation. As always, this episode is offered through both a personal and professional lens, bridging lived experience with clinical and performance-psychology perspectives for practitioners, patients, and anyone curious about how ketamine-assisted therapy can support healing in the context of injury, illness, and loss. This episode is intended for educational and storytelling purposes only and does not replace professional medical or mental health care. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider before making any treatment decisions.

S2E5, Ketamine Therapy Series, Session One

In this episode, I share my experience from the first session of my ketamine-assisted therapy journey. I walk listeners through what the session looked like from a nervous-system and emotional perspective—what surprised me, what felt challenging, and what I noticed in the hours and days that followed. This conversation is rooted in honest reflection and gentle processing, offering insight into what a first session can feel like for those navigating medical trauma, chronic illness, or the emotional weight of long-term care. This episode is intended for educational and storytelling purposes only and does not replace professional medical or mental health care. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider before making any treatment decisions.

S2E4, Ketamine Therapy Series, Introduction

In this episode, I introduce a new mini-series within The Nutcracker Syndrome Podcast focused on ketamine-assisted therapy and its role in navigating medical trauma, chronic illness, and the emotional weight of long-term health journeys. I share why I chose to explore this modality, what led me to begin my own therapeutic process, my goals with this therapy, and what listeners can expect throughout this series. This conversation is rooted in curiosity, compassion, and transparency, offering both personal reflection and educational context for those who may be considering or simply wanting to better understand ketamine-assisted therapy as part of a broader mental health and healing landscape. Medical & Mental Health Disclaimer The content of this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views and experiences shared reflect personal perspectives and do not replace consultation with a licensed physician, mental health professional, or other qualified healthcare provider. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider regarding any medical condition, mental health concern, or treatment decisions. Never disregard professional medical or mental health advice or delay seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact your local emergency services immediately.

S2E3: Caretaker Series with Shay & Clancey

I’m excited to continue sharing stories as part of our Caretaker Series, a space dedicated to expanding our understanding of the vital role social support systems play throughout the NCS journey. In this episode, you’ll hear from Shay and Clancey as they share their lived experiences navigating the complex and often evolving dynamics of caregiving and support. Their conversation offers valuable insights into building and sustaining an effective support system, including the importance of well-organized medical documentation, establishing clear and consistent communication channels, and engaging in difficult but necessary discussions surrounding power of attorney and shared decision-making.