“He Wasn’t an Addict…He Was My Son”: A Mother’s Fight Against Shame and Silence ft. Katie Rizzo
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I would rather have Nicholas here any day than have him gone.” – Katie Rizzo
Katie Rizzo
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katierizzo007/ [https://www.instagram.com/katierizzo007/]
Website & Books: https://www.katierizzo.com/ [https://www.katierizzo.com/]
The Trimesters of Grief (memoir) – available wherever books are sold
Massimo Rigotti launches the Perspectives Bonus Series with Katie Rizzo, mother, high school teacher, and author of the upcoming memoir The Trimesters of Grief. Katie shares the heartbreaking story of losing her 25-year-old son Nicholas to an accidental overdose involving oxycodone and Xanax.
Nicholas was a gifted soccer player, a people-pleaser who struggled with anxiety, and a young man who never felt he was enough despite being deeply loved. What began with sports injuries and prescribed painkillers spiraled into years of rehabs, shame, secrecy, and family heartbreak. Katie speaks candidly about the stigma she and Nicholas faced, the self-blame that nearly defined her, and her refusal to let her son be remembered only as “an addict.”
Katie introduces her powerful framework, The Trimesters of Grief, likening the grieving process to pregnancy: the disorienting first trimester, the isolating second trimester when the world moves on, and the third trimester in which grief becomes something you must nurture daily while still showing up for life. Through poetry, art, saying “yes” to others, and doing esteemable things, she is learning to carry both her love for Nicholas and the grief that remains.
This episode shines a light on the often-invisible side of addiction, the toll it takes on parents, siblings, and marriages, and the quiet strength required to fight shame and silence.
Key Takeaways
• Addiction is a family disease fueled by shame and stigma.
• “He wasn’t an addict… he was my son” — a powerful reminder of the human being behind the struggle.
• Grief does not have an expiration date; it must be carried and befriended.
• Doing esteemable things rebuilds self-worth for both those in recovery and those left behind.
• Society’s “willpower and rock bottom” approach leaves too many families broken.
Listener Reflection for This Week
1. Observe one moment when shame or self-blame arises—about your own past or someone you love.
2. Name it without judgment: “This is the disease speaking, not the truth about me or them.”
3. Choose one small, esteemable act of self-compassion or connection.
4. Execute it at least three times this week and notice how it shifts what you are carrying.
Listener Action Steps
• Pre-order or follow The Trimesters of Grief.
• Follow Katie on Instagram @katierizzo007 for poetry and reflections.
• If you are supporting someone in addiction or walking through grief, attend one grief support meeting this week.
• Share this episode with any parent or loved one who feels alone in their struggle.
Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
Addiction does not define the person we love — or the person left behind. Katie’s courage reminds us that even in the deepest grief, love and legacy endure. You are not alone. Healing is possible. Hope is real.
Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method
Website and Work with Massimo: sobermethod.com [http://sobermethod.com]
All socials: @sobermethod
Massimo Rigotti, The S.O.B.E.R. Method Podcast
