Just Reflections Podcast

Writing Is Thinking

When faced with the task of writing, many of us are quick to admit, "I have a wealth of ideas, but I struggle to find the right words to express them," or "I'm well-versed in my subject, but I can't organise my thoughts in a clear and interesting way." If you resonate with this, you’ve come to the right place. My consistent writing journey over the past two years has taught me that writing isn't as enigmatic as it seems. In reality, it's about mastering certain skills, many of which you already possess. Don't misunderstand me; writing is indeed challenging, but it's not unique in that regard. Many aspects of life are difficult, yet we learn to navigate them proficiently. I believe the primary obstacle with writing is our tendency to fixate on the end product of writing, neglecting the actual process of writing. This issue is further compounded by the widespread belief that writing ability is an innate talent, which can serve as a significant deterrent. My perspective on writing transformed after reading "Thinking On Paper" by V.A. Howard, PhD, and J.H. Barton, M.A. Their book introduced me to three key propositions about writing that have significantly demystified the process for me. These insights have not only helped me understand writing better, but also paved the way for me to hone my writing skills for a variety of practical purposes. Three propositions about writing In the following sections, I will delve into these three propositions: Writing as meaning-making, writing as a staged performance, and writing as a tool for understanding. These concepts have been instrumental in my journey towards mastering the art of writing. Writing is meaning-making At its core, writing is an act of thinking. It's a process where the writer creates meaning using words, and the reader, in turn, uses those words to reconstruct that meaning. Let's delve deeper into this concept. It's crucial to understand that written communication is rarely perfect and seldom complete. When we write, we strive to create meaning with words, and readers attempt to use those words to recreate that meaning. However, words, even among speakers of the same language, don't always convey the full meaning. Our understanding is limited by our grasp of language, which is influenced by many factors, including context. For instance, the phrase "stand up" might seem straightforward, but its meaning can shift dramatically depending on the context. It could mean physically rising to your feet or metaphorically standing up against oppression. If the context isn't adequately conveyed in the writing, the intended meaning may not be fully transmitted. There's no guarantee that you'll be able to fully articulate your meaning or that your reader will fully comprehend it. The potential for success or failure exists on both ends. This realization leads us to an important conclusion: the primary goal of writing is not communication, but meaning-making. We use words to translate our innate understanding into tangible meaning on a page. This perspective is liberating for two main reasons. First, it means that everyone can—and indeed should—write freely and often, without the pressure of intending to share our work with others. The act of writing serves to articulate our thoughts, giving them structure and clarity. Second, it relieves us of the pressure to produce perfect or complete writing. Our writing is merely a snapshot of our current understanding, representing our best attempt at creating meaning from that understanding. Initially, the goal isn't to communicate our ideas as clearly as possible, but to transfer our thoughts from our minds to the page. This understanding underscores the importance of writing as a tool for personal growth and learning. Whether or not you intend to publish your work, writing can help you clarify your thoughts, structure your ideas, and learn to articulate them clearly and concisely for maximum impact. It's a process of self-discovery and self-improvement, a journey that evolves with each word you put down on paper. Writing is a staged performance Consider this scenario: if you were asked to chat with a friend at home about a topic that interests you for five minutes every week, you'd likely accomplish this with ease. Each week, you might have new insights to share or fresh perspectives on previous discussions. Now, imagine the same task, but instead of conversing with a friend, you're speaking with Oprah on her live TV show. Suddenly, the task seems daunting, and you become hypercritical of your words. The task becomes challenging, even though speaking is second nature to us and we know what we want to say. The difference lies in the awareness of an audience, particularly one that intimidates us. Writing follows a similar pattern. As a writer, the moment you become conscious of a potential audience (including your future self), writing transforms into a staged performance. However, it's crucial not to view it as a performance until you're ready for it to be. Initially, writing should be a private activity, a means of articulating your thoughts on paper. The shift to performance mode occurs when you step back to analyze your work, scrutinizing its sound and the clarity of its message. Writing, therefore, involves two distinct stages: free-flowing, uninhibited articulation, and critical revision of initial thoughts. We oscillate between these two states of mind—the struggle to articulate and the struggle to communicate. However, it's essential to keep these stages separate; attempting to do both simultaneously will probably be counterproductive. This understanding is liberating because it allows me to switch off my "audience awareness" during the early stages of writing and focus solely on my thoughts and ideas—the discovery phase. This stage encourages full exploration, speculation, intuition, and imagination. When the time is right, I transition into "communication mode," focusing on critiquing and reshaping my work for presentation. This separation is vital because the processes of discovery and criticism often disrupt each other. They have divergent objectives and require different mental attitudes. Notably, criticism, with its ruthless penchant for rejection, stands in stark contrast to the exploratory nature of discovery. Writing is a tool for understanding The primary aim of writing, much like reading, is to understand. It's only after gaining this understanding that we can share it with readers. In this context, writing serves as a tool for thinking. Once our thoughts are penned down, we have the opportunity to critically evaluate them and compare them with ideas from other sources, leading to a more robust and balanced understanding of the subject. Therefore, even if your private notes may seem unintelligible to others (or even to your future self), their value as thoughtful explorations should not be underestimated. This perspective encourages us not to shy away from writing that may never see the light of publication. These seemingly throwaway writings play a crucial role in enhancing our understanding and serve as the foundation for successful writing. This is not to downplay the importance of writing that communicates effectively. Instead, it underscores the idea that the act of writing itself can pave the way to producing content that communicates well. After all, editing requires a text to refine. “Putting articulation before communication also reminds us that whether thinking silently, aloud, or in writing, we do not so much send our thoughts in pursuit of words as use words to pursue our thoughts. Later, by revising the words that first snared our thoughts, we may succeed in capturing the understanding of others.” — V.A. Howard, PhD and J.H. Barton, M.A, Thinking On Paper: Refine, Express and Actually Generate Ideas by Understanding the Processes of the Mind Writing is thinking As I continue to develop in my writing journey, I've come to appreciate the profound interconnectedness of writing and cognitive processes. Writing, in essence, is an externalized form of thinking. It's a tool that allows us to articulate our thoughts, provide them with structure, and clarify them, regardless of whether we intend to share them publicly or not. Once our thoughts are penned down, we can easily compare them with ideas from other sources, bypassing the limitations of our memory. This process fosters a deeper and more robust understanding of the subject at hand. It's only after this stage that we should consider writing as a performance, critiquing our work with the intention of presenting it to an audience. The ability to articulate thoughts clearly and effectively is a potent tool. As Jordan Peterson says, “If you can think and speak and write, you are absolutely deadly. Nothing can get in your way.” Moreover, the ability to formulate coherent arguments and present them effectively can pave the way to success. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justreflections.bhekani.com [https://justreflections.bhekani.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

How to Never Get a Job: A Comprehensive Guide to Lifelong Leisure

Today’s piece was inspired by (and borrows from) Erik Davtyan’s insightful medium post [https://medium.com/@erdavtyan/how-to-never-get-a-job-a1509fd333d8]. His is specifically for Software Engineers so I figured I’d expand it for a more general audience. Without further ado, let’s go. In the realm of career advice, we often encounter a ton of tips and tricks on how to land the perfect job. But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead, we explored the art of not getting a job? In this guide, I’ll give you nine easy strategies that can lead you down the path of perpetual unemployment. So, whether you're looking to maintain your blissful unemployment or you're an oddball who actually wants a job, this guide will provide you with a fresh perspective. Remember, sometimes knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. The Art of Procrastination Why rush to send out CVs when there's an entire world of procrastination to explore? Procrastination is often misunderstood and maligned, but it can be an intriguing journey of leisure and pleasure. It's not just about delaying tasks; it's about immersing yourself in activities that provide immediate gratification and pleasure. So put away that CV and try diving into the depths of the internet, where an ocean of knowledge and entertainment awaits. You could spend hours, even days, exploring fascinating articles, engaging in online debates, or getting lost in the labyrinth of social media. The internet is a treasure trove of information and amusement that can keep you occupied indefinitely. If that’s not your jam, you could binge-watch your favourite shows, an activity that has become a cultural phenomenon in the age of streaming services. TV series can offer an escape from reality and a chance to immerse yourself in different worlds. Why focus on your own boring life when you could spend hours, even days, following the more exciting lives of your favourite characters, experiencing their triumphs, tragedies, and transformations? So, who needs a job when you can embrace a different way of life, one that values leisure and pleasure over productivity and efficiency? So, put away that CV and embrace the art of procrastination. The Mystery of the Generic CV When you finally decide to break away from the blissful world of procrastination and update your CV, it's important to remember one key rule: keep it as generic as possible. After all, who doesn't love a good mystery? You learnt that from the TV show, remember? Instead of tailoring your resume to highlight your unique skills, experiences, and achievements, aim for ambiguity. This will perfectly optimise you for perpetual unemployment. Don’t list specific technical skills or soft skills. Stick to vague, generic terms that don’t provide any specific information about your skills and experiences. Phrases like "hard worker", "detail-oriented", “problem-solver”, “strong communication skills”, or “results-driven” are perfect. These are meaningless fluff on a CV. They give absolutely no indication of what you're actually good at, leaving potential employers guessing. Make it a point not to provide examples of tasks where these skills were displayed, that might make you attractive. We don’t want that. In the experience section, simply list your job titles and the dates you held them, but leave out any details about what you actually did in those roles. This will ensure that employers are left scratching their heads, trying to figure out what you actually bring to the table. Remember, the goal here is to create a resume that is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Employers love a good puzzle, right? And if they can't figure out what you're good at, they can't hire you. It's a win-win situation! So, embrace the mystery of the generic CV, and watch as the job offers don't roll in. The Non-Interview Technique If you did your best on the last point but by some unfortunate twist of fate, you find yourself scheduled for an interview, it's time to deploy the Non-Interview Technique. This strategy is all about being as unprepared as possible to ensure you maintain your blissful state of unemployment. First, don't research the company. By not knowing anything about the company, you'll effectively communicate your fabulous lack of interest and commitment, which is sure to send the right signal. Second, don't let interview prep interfere with your regular online debates and doom-scrolling. You want to maintain the mystery and get surprised by all the questions during the interview and wing it. Rambling, off-topic, or nonsensical answers are sure to leave your interviewer scratching their head. Third, punctuality is overrated. Arrive late. This not only shows a lack of respect for the interviewer's time but also suggests you're not particularly interested in the job. Finally, a yawn or two during the interview can be a powerful tool in your arsenal. If you're feeling particularly daring, consider checking your watch or phone frequently during the interview to really drive home your lack of engagement. The Non-Interview Technique is all about showing that you’d really rather be somewhere else and that there are other things that are more important to you than this interview. By following these steps, you're sure to leave your interviewer with a strong impression. The Loner Lifestyle Who needs connections when you've got solitude? If you interact with people too much you might uncover opportunities and get your foot in the door. You don’t want that. Embrace the hermit lifestyle and avoid networking opportunities like the plague. Industry events are a no-go. These gatherings are typically filled with professionals in your field who are eager to exchange business cards, share insights, and discuss potential job opportunities. So, steer clear of industry conferences, seminars, and networking events. Instead, enjoy the comfort of your own home, far away from the hustle and bustle of the professional world. Social media interactions should be kept to a minimum. To maintain your unemployment streak, it's best to avoid platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter or, at the very least, avoid any professional interactions on them. Stick to vibes. Remember, the fewer people who know you don’t have a job, the fewer people there are to ruin your unemployment streak with job offers. Choose the tranquillity of unemployment over the chaos of job hunting. Forget about networking and start enjoying the peace and quiet of solitude. After all, who needs connections when you've got the comfort of your own company? The Art of Giving Up In the rare case that you pass the first interview in some miraculous way, it’s important to master the Art of Giving Up. This is not about a lack of capability or potential, but rather a strategic move to maintain your blissful state of unemployment. During the interview process, there are often several stages designed to assess your skills and suitability for the role. This could include a technical interview, a take-home task, or a series of problem-solving exercises. These stages are typically designed to challenge you, to push you out of your comfort zone, and to see how you perform under pressure. You don’t want that. You prefer the comfort zone and the warm embrace of the familiar. So, don't hesitate to throw in the towel. If you ever feel stuck, give up. Don't try to work through the problem, don't ask for clarification, and definitely don't attempt to come up with a solution. Simply throw your hands up and admit defeat. This will not only end the interview process quickly but also leave a lasting impression of your commitment to unemployment. Don't waste your precious free time. After all, they're not paying you for this time, right? And let's be honest, the actual job pay was probably going to be too low, anyway. Make up an excuse and abandon it. You could say you didn't understand the task, you didn't have time to complete it, or simply that you didn't feel like doing it. The Art of Giving Up is all about choosing ease over effort, surrender over struggle. It's about recognizing when to step back and let go, rather than pushing forward and fighting on. So that you can return to your own super-interesting, stress-free life. Who needs the stress of a job when you can enjoy the tranquillity of unemployment? The Leisure Life Work is work, and leisure is leisure. They're two distinct aspects of life, and in our quest for perpetual unemployment, it's important to keep them separate. Your work is a job, a means to an end. It isn't a hobby, a passion, or a pastime. It's something you do to earn a living, not something you do for fun or fulfilment. So, when you're not working, it's crucial to use your free time for activities that don’t improve your professional skills. Daydreaming about the future is a leisurely activity that requires little effort but offers a lot of enjoyment. It allows you to imagine different possibilities, explore various scenarios, and even plan your ideal life, all without the constraints of reality. Couple this with inaction and you have the perfect combo to burn away those extra hours. Remember, you're going to work a lot in your future career anyway, so why bother now? Don't even try to contribute to your industry or take on extra tasks. You shouldn't do work for other people for free. If you're in a team, just use what the others have done and never contribute. This not only saves you effort but also ensures you don't stand out or attract attention, which might lead to job offers. The Art of Ignoring Feedback In our pursuit of the blissful state of unemployment, we must master the Art of Ignoring Feedback, a strategy that promotes stagnation over growth and comfort over change. Whether it's constructive criticism from a potential employer or well-intentioned advice from a friend, feedback might provide insights into our strengths and weaknesses, offering a roadmap for personal and professional development, so we're going to ignore it. After all, who needs growth and improvement when you can remain blissfully stagnant? Ignoring feedback is not just about dismissing others' opinions. It's about embracing a mindset of complacency, about choosing comfort over challenge. It's about rejecting the opportunity to learn and grow, and instead, maintaining the status quo. It's about keeping those blinders on, focusing on the present, and ignoring the possibilities of the future. So, the next time you receive feedback, whether it's a critique of your resume, a suggestion for improving your interview skills, or advice on job-hunting strategies, be sure to ignore it. Dismiss it, forget it, and move on. The Joy of Unreliability In our goal of a life of unemployment, it's crucial to cultivate a reputation for unreliability. This counterintuitive strategy is all about embracing inconsistency and unpredictability, traits that are typically frowned upon in the professional world but are key to maintaining your blissful state of unemployment. First, make a habit of showing up late. Whether it's for an interview, a meeting, or a casual catch-up, tardiness is a surefire way to communicate your lack of respect for other people's time. It sends a clear message that you're not committed or serious, traits that employers typically love to avoid. Second, in the world of work, deadlines are sacred. They ensure projects move forward and that everyone is on the same page. But in our quest for unemployment, we're going to disregard them. By consistently missing deadlines, we will demonstrate a lack of responsibility and a disregard for the importance of time management, further solidifying our reputation for unreliability. Third, forgetting about commitments is the cherry on top of your unreliability cake. Whether it's a promise to send an email, a commitment to complete a task, or an agreement to meet at a certain time, forget it. That is a sure way to show your lack of reliability. It suggests that you're disorganized and untrustworthy, traits that are sure to deter potential employers. The Art of Unprofessionalism Finally, if you really want to nail in your blissful unemployment, master the Art of Unprofessionalism. This strategy is all about rejecting the norms and expectations of the professional world and embracing a more casual, carefree approach. Let's talk about attire. In the professional world, how you dress can say a lot about you. It can communicate respect, seriousness, and commitment. So, instead of dressing appropriately for interviews or meetings, opt for casual, inappropriate attire. Think flip-flops for a corporate interview, a t-shirt for a formal event, or even pyjamas for a video call. Next, language is a powerful tool. In professional settings, always use slang, colloquialisms, and casual phrases in your interactions. This will not only show a lack of professionalism, but also suggest a lack of respect for the formalities of the business world. So there you have it, my foolproof guide on how to never get a job. Follow these tips, and you'll be on the fast track to a lifetime of blissful unemployment. But remember, if you're one of those oddballs who actually wants to get a job, you might want to do the exact opposite of everything I've just suggested. Happy job hunting, or not! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justreflections.bhekani.com [https://justreflections.bhekani.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Transformative Power of Art: Gaining Insight into Ourselves and the World

Art is a curious thing. Have you ever wondered why people continue to flock to art exhibitions, lining up just to catch a glimpse of artworks like the Mona Lisa, which they've seen many times in books or online? It's the same reason we love to rewatch our favorite movies or reread cherished books. It's not that the artwork, film, or book changes, but rather our interaction with it does. Consider this: "There is one peculiarity that real works of art possess in common. At each fresh reading, one notices some change in them, as if the sap of life ran in their leaves, and with skies and plants, they had the power to alter their shape and color from season to season." These profound words by Virginia Woolf encapsulate why art holds such a deep, revered place in my heart. Art has the power to evolve with us. Art, much like life itself, is dynamic, alive, and constantly evolving. Each time we stand before a painting like the Mona Lisa, we don't just see the same old enigmatic smile. The artwork mirrors our own evolving experiences, perspectives, and understanding. It draws us into a reflective dialogue. Like a mirror, it reflects our own gaze back at us, intertwined with our growing life experiences. The Mona Lisa of today might feel different from the Mona Lisa of last year because we are different. This continuous exchange between the observer and the art, the reader and the text, is what makes each encounter an exhilarating, fresh experience, no matter how many times it is revisited. Why is this important? Because art in all its forms—whether literature, visual, or performance art—invites us to a conversation. A conversation not just with the artist's work, but also with ourselves. It aids in our understanding of self and the world. It's a means of mapping our own evolution as individuals. Take, for instance, my personal experience with George Orwell's Animal Farm. As a child, I found the story immensely intriguing. The thought of animals running a farm and the vivid imagery it evoked made it an enjoyable read. But as I've grown older, my appreciation for the book has taken on new depth. It isn't merely about the animals and their escapades for me anymore. It's about the complex nuances of life, politics, and the human condition—elements that I was oblivious to as a child. The words of the book haven't changed, but my understanding of them has. This shift in perspective is a testament to my own growth and transformation over the years. Engaging with art isn't just about appreciating aesthetics or getting lost in an interesting narrative. It's about chronicling our journey and our growth as individuals. Our favorite art form becomes a canvas that bears the imprint of our growing consciousness and our maturing understanding of life. And in that sense, every brushstroke we add through our experiences makes it an ongoing self-portrait, a living biography of our lives. Each interaction with a cherished piece of art is a new chapter in that biography. It's a tangible reflection of how we have matured and changed as people, making the art itself feel fresh each time. The Bible is the ultimate embodiment of living art. Each of its verses seems to pulsate with a potent vitality, its teachings ever-evolving to adapt to our shifting life circumstances. Just like the changing seasons, the Bible mirrors our growth and evolution, echoing our deepening understanding of life. Contemplating a passage like Psalm 23, year after year, is essentially an exercise in spiritual autobiography. It's like assembling a living testament of our journey, recording the progression of our spiritual comprehension. But there is yet another purpose I believe it serves. God is a being of infinite complexity, unfathomable depth, and unimaginable breadth. His vastness is so great that there isn't a single human construct that could fully encapsulate His entire essence. However, in His divine wisdom, God has crafted an exquisite solution to the dilemma of making Himself accessible to us—one that leverages the dynamic, living nature of art. His chosen medium? The written word. At its core, the Bible is the most exquisite work of God's artistry. It is a canvas onto which He has depicted His infinite complexity in a way that we, fallible humans, can begin to comprehend. It establishes a resilient bond between the divine and the human, forging new connections each day. It remains accessible and enlightening whether you're a humble commoner or an acclaimed scholar. The Bible is more than just a book; it is the grand narrative of God's boundless love for humanity. It is a flowing wellspring of wisdom, chronicling our unique journey with the divine. By engaging with it, we enter into a conversation with the divine, one that develops and deepens as we do. The significance of engaging repeatedly with art goes beyond mere repetition; it serves a crucial purpose in the journey of every individual. By immersing ourselves in art on multiple occasions, we open doors to gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves and comprehending our own evolution. Through the transformative power of art, we can explore the depths of our emotions, thoughts, and experiences, ultimately leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth. In line with this, I want to emphasize the importance of reading the Bible, regardless of one's religious affiliations. The Bible stands as a remarkable testament to the power of art in fostering self-understanding. It holds a unique position as the most influential artistic work in human history, transcending cultural and religious boundaries. Within its pages, profound narratives, teachings, and reflections are woven together, offering insightful perspectives into the human condition. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justreflections.bhekani.com [https://justreflections.bhekani.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Animation Is Under Appreciated

This weekend, I went to a movie with my wife and some friends. We arrived a little early and, having secured our tickets, we decided to wait in the lobby. As we waited, a discussion started about an upcoming film I'm eagerly anticipating: Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse. If you know me, you're aware that I can become quite passionate when discussing movies like this. We were all talking animatedly about the excitement of seeing a black Spiderman again, when my wife, intrigued by our enthusiasm, wanted to know what film had us so thrilled. I promptly searched for it on Google and handed my phone to her. Her reaction is the reason for this rant article. She exclaimed, “Agh! Kanti ngoPopayi”, meaning “Agh, it’s a cartoon!” She was prepared to dismiss it outright the moment she realized it was animated. This is how many people react to animation. The story, characters, and art can far surpass any other movie, but people are put off simply because there are no live actors involved. Animation deserves better! There's this prevailing notion that animated movies or TV shows are just for children. A glaring example of this misconception occurred during the 2022 Academy Awards. And no, I don’t mean the infamous incident with Will Smith and Chris Rock. Other noteworthy things happened that night, you know. The award for the best-animated picture was presented by three people: Lily James, Halle Bailey, and Naomi Scott. They all share a commonality—they've each played Disney Princesses in live-action remakes of Disney classics. Lily James played Cinderella, Naomi Scott played Jasmine in Aladdin, and Hailey is set to portray Ariel in the upcoming Little Mermaid. But what grabbed my attention was not their shared history, but their shared words: “All these characters hold such a special place in our hearts. Because animated films make up some of our most formative movie experiences as kids. So many kids watch these movies, so many kids watch these movies over and over … and over and over and over again. I see some parents out there know exactly what we’re talking about…” This speech infuriated animation enthusiasts everywhere. Animation is rarely recognized as high art or “cinema,” even at a platform as esteemed as the Oscars. One would expect more enlightenment here. Unironically, the presenters were not part of the original animated movies, but the live-action remakes. Animation is consistently overlooked and underrated. For many, it's merely cartoons, “ngoPopayi,” child's play. To those who harbour such thoughts, I challenge you to watch this analysis of the Leap of Faith scene from Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse and tell me if you still believe this is only kids’ stuff. I’m not really waiting to hear your opinion on this, of course, because this is a multi-award-winning masterpiece of a movie. Not convinced? Here’s another one; an analysis of Arcane: Still sceptical? Perhaps an hour-long video essay on the subject could sway your opinion. Seriously though, these are some amazingly skillfully done analyses. Check them out. And I agree with Mason one hundred per cent: “I have always considered animation to be the purest form of filmmaking. With complete and total control over every single frame put on screen, animators can transport you to worlds unimaginable, captivate you with fantastical and whimsical characters that defy the very laws of reality, show you jaw dropping acts of gravity defying action and absolutely devastate your heart with one carefully drawn facial expression. Whether they are layered on a film cell, digitally painted, painstakingly photographed or 3D rendered, these films, shorts or television series can reach the highest level of adoration and praise from the public just as anything made in live action. And they have.” Last year, Invincible, one of the year's finest shows, slipped under the radar until it presented one of the best season finales in television history. Give "Invincible season finale" a Google, and you'll see the internet is ablaze with praise. Interestingly, it aired concurrently with Falcon and the Winter Soldier, another superhero show that, despite being part of Marvel's much-anticipated Phase Four, fell flat. Yet, audiences seemed more inclined to watch the live-action series over the so-called "cartoon." Now, I can understand why people would think animation is just for kids. Numerous animated shows target a young audience, and many of us consumed these shows primarily in our childhood. However, categorizing a film like Up alongside Dora the Explorer simply because they share the same medium is fundamentally flawed. This comparison is akin to equating Ridley Scott's Alien with Sesame Street on the basis they both employ puppets. It's a simplistic, surface-level judgment that overlooks the nuances of each work. What many miss is the intentional choice behind using animation as a medium for storytelling. Certain narratives cannot be fully conveyed or appreciated in any other form. Animation unlocks potential that is often unattainable in live-action unless one has the budget of Avatar. Animation can recreate the comic book-like aesthetic in a film such as Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse. It can also employ super realistic caricature as seen in Soul to delve into the complex journey of finding life's purpose. (I’m not even sure the phrase “super realistic caricature” makes sense, but animation made that possible.) Consider the epic narrative of The Prince of Egypt. Would it have been feasible to capture the grandeur of Moses' story in a live-action format? On a side note, I have a deep appreciation for the fantastical genre. Creators of fantasy and science fiction showcase an exceptional degree of creativity. Beyond crafting a compelling narrative, they must build an entire world, often complete with its own unique history, culture, and politics. The world becomes a character in its own right, adding depth to the narrative. This is where animation shines; it allows for a seamless integration of reality and fantasy, thereby elevating the creative potential of these already rich genres. Animation's public perception is somewhat skewed by the fact that many mainstream animated shows for adults are largely comedies. I honour the genius of The Simpsons, Futurama, Rick and Morty, and Family Guy, but understand that their humour doesn't resonate with everyone. Hence, I was thrilled by Invincible and Arcane. These mainstream animated shows, focusing on drama and action, brought a breath of fresh air to adult streaming platforms. DreamWorks has created several mature films, like Kung Fu Panda and Megamind, but they still incorporate whimsical elements and shy away from being wholly mature films. The timing of the pandemic also provided a unique advantage for Arcane and Invincible to shine. They not only delivered but also held their own against non-animated counterparts. During my viewing of both Invincible and Arcane, there were moments when I had to pause, astounded at the masterpieces unfolding before my eyes. It's unfortunate that Disney and Pixar films typically garner most of the spotlight for animation. While I hold nothing against these powerhouses, their association with childhood viewing often leads people to pigeonhole all their productions as children's content. Let me wrap this up with this quote from Alberto Mielgo, director of The Windshield Wiper: “Animation is an art that includes every single art that you can imagine. Animation for adults is a fact, it’s happening, let’s call it cinema!” I honestly want to give a huge shout-out to the animators and artists behind these shows and movies. Most of them are faceless and nameless to the audience, but they are the ones putting in hours and hours to create these masterpieces. If this article has stirred your interest in exploring the rich world of animated shows, allow me to suggest a few recommendations: * Arcane * Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse * Soul * Love, Death, Robots * Invincible * Marvel’s What If * Moana * Encanto * Megamind * Rango * Puss in Boots: The Last Wish * Anomalisa And here are some bangers that we wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for animation: In fact, this article has got me hyped. I think I’ll go rewatch Akira now. Rant over. Okay, thanks, bye. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justreflections.bhekani.com [https://justreflections.bhekani.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

To Stay or Go: A Guide to Making Tough Relationship Choices

You all probably know by now that I'm super passionate about relationships and understanding people. There's just something about diving into the minds of others, learning about their likes, dislikes, dreams, and everything in between that just hooks me. And when it comes to the connections we forge with others, like friendships and romantic relationships, my curiosity just skyrockets. As an introvert, I feel like I have this special superpower in observing and listening to people. You know, just hanging out in the background, soaking up all those little nuances that others might overlook in the heat of a conversation. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion and discovering more and more about what makes people tick. So today, let's chat about love – or more specifically, the end of it. I want to dive into that tricky territory of knowing when to call it quits and break up, or when to keep fighting for the relationship. Navigating the wild ride that is love, with all its ups, downs, and unexpected detours, can be quite the adventure. One of the toughest parts of being in a relationship is figuring out when to keep fighting for it or when it's time to gracefully bow out. In this article, I’ll dig into the intricacies of relationships, discussing a few crucial points that'll help you determine whether your love is worth salvaging or if it's time to move on. Keeping these key factors in mind will empower you to make a decision that's in line with your well-being and personal growth. Whether your relationship is on the rocks or things are going fantastic, these are useful tools to have in your toolbox. So strap in, and let’s go! 1. Identify the Real Problem and Communicate Effectively. All relationships come with their fair share of highs and lows, but it's essential to dive deeper when conflicts pop up. It's all too easy to get swept up in minor disagreements while overlooking the bigger issues at play. To truly grasp what's causing friction in your relationship, take a moment to step back and pinpoint the root of the problem. Reflect on any patterns or recurring themes in your arguments. Could it be that unresolved past issues, insecurities, excommunicated expectations, or unfulfilled emotional needs are feeding the conflict? Once you've gained a clear insight into what's lurking beneath the surface, it's time to bring it up with your partner. Practising healthy communication is paramount for resolving disputes and keeping your connection solid. Focus on the matter at hand, steer clear of personal attacks, and don't fall into the trap of tallying past mistakes. This will sound a little corny, but it works; use “I” statements to share your feelings and experiences without casting blame. For instance, opt for “I feel overwhelmed when we argue about finances” instead of “You always stress me out about money.” By tackling the conversation with empathy and respect, you lay the groundwork for an open and honest dialogue that can pave the way to resolution. 2. Distinguish between Preferences and Core Values. Navigating conflicts in your relationship can be quite the challenge, but it's essential to determine whether the disagreements stem from preferences or core values. Conflicts of preference, such as how to spend your leisure time, which brand of toothpaste to purchase, or even deciding where to dine out, can often be resolved through negotiation and compromise. After all, as Dr John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship researcher, explains in his book “What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes,” around 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual, meaning they are rooted in fundamental differences in personality or lifestyle needs. You’ll never solve them, but you need to learn to live with them. However, conflicts of core values, like your beliefs about marriage, religion, politics, or raising children, may be insurmountable. These differences can create significant friction in your relationship if left unaddressed, and they often require a higher level of reflection and self-awareness. Couples who share similar values and beliefs have a higher likelihood of long-term success. It's crucial to discern where you can be flexible and where you must hold your ground. If you discover your core values clash, it may signal that the relationship isn't the right fit, despite the love and affection you feel for one another. As you and your partner work through conflicts, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly, respect one another's boundaries, and remain committed to finding common ground. This process of compromise and collaboration can strengthen your bond and help you create a more harmonious, fulfilling partnership. 3. Set Boundaries and Enforce them. Establishing healthy boundaries is a vital component of any successful relationship. Esther Perel in the book “Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic” notes that, “Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. They’re like a safety net. Without them, we may be taken advantage of, used, or exploited.” This sentiment is echoed by John Gottman, who writes, “The ability to set boundaries is one of the most critical skills we can learn for preserving our physical and emotional health.” It's important to communicate your boundaries clearly and be willing to enforce them. If your partner repeatedly violates your boundaries or fails to respect your needs and concerns, it may be time to reassess the relationship. I understand that breaking up is never easy, but it's important to be objective and make the tough decision to end a relationship if necessary. Sometimes we need to move on from relationships that are not good for us, in order to create space for new relationships that will be more supportive, nurturing, and growth-promoting. 4. Seek Outside Help and Perspectives In the process of making a decision about whether to stay in a relationship or end it, it's challenging to maintain the perspective. Naturally, it’s personal for you. Seeking the opinions of trusted friends, family members, or a professional counsellor can provide a valuable outside perspective. But remember that while friends, family, and counsellors may help you see what you can’t, they don’t have to live with the consequences of your decision; you do. So, ultimately, the decision must be made by you, as everyone's opinion may be subjective. In addition to seeking outside perspectives, fostering a culture of open communication with your partner is crucial for evaluating the relationship. John Gottman says, "Marriage is a conversation ... and all the conversations you have in a marriage are connected to each other." I think all relationships are the same. Engage in conversations with your partner about the relationship and its future, and be open to exploring alternative solutions together. This may involve attending couples' therapy, exploring new ways to connect emotionally, or addressing individual issues that are affecting the relationship. Seeking outside perspectives and fostering open communication can help you gain the insights to evaluate whether your relationship is worth saving. Maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship is a continuous process that requires effort and dedication from both partners. As relationships grow over time, it's essential to prioritize quality time together and find ways to keep the spark alive. Relationships require maintenance, and that's not a bad thing. We maintain our cars, our homes, and our jobs. Why wouldn't we maintain something as important as our relationships? One way to maintain a strong connection is by engaging in shared hobbies or activities. Research shows that couples who participate in new and exciting activities together experience a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This surge of dopamine can create a sense of excitement and adventure, which can help keep the relationship fresh and exciting. Finally, to maintain a strong and lasting relationship, it's crucial to prioritize emotional connection and continue nurturing the bond between you and your partner. This may involve expressing gratitude and support, regularly checking in on each other's feelings, and weathering life's ups and downs together. As Esther Perel states, "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. It's the single most important investment we can make." By investing time and effort into your emotional connection, you can create a safe and supportive environment that strengthens your bond and sets the foundation for a lasting partnership. However, it's important to remember that if the relationship no longer aligns with your well-being and personal growth, making the hard decision to break up may be necessary for everyone's sake. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justreflections.bhekani.com [https://justreflections.bhekani.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]