Self-Led Besties!

S1 E9 | Activity: Wheel of Needs

In this episode, Hallie leads David and Christine through a beautiful exercise piggy backing off of the needs exercise from last episode (though this can also be used as a stand alone exercise). Hallie explains why it so important to connect to our needs and how the world might be a more supportive place to live if we all valued needs. Then, after a short "coming into presence" moment, Hallie guides us (and you) through rating each of the needs based first on our body compass then letting parts express whatever comes up for them. After getting an overall rating for how well our nine universal needs are met in this chapter of our lives, Hallie guides us in exploring how our highest and lowest rated needs could be met by Self, Support (from another person), and the Strategies our parts use to get Supply. This exercise has the potential to bring so much clarity, compassion, and creativity into our systems. Please feel free to follow along or just listen, and we'd love to hear how the exercise was for you in the comment section below. 0:00 Intro 0:10 Theme Song 0:36 Exercise Introduction 1:48 Exercise Overview 3:58 Coming Into Presence 7:28 The 9 Universal Human Needs 15:35 The Wheel Of Needs 20:11 Rating Our Needs 22:02 The Need for Safety 24:59 The Need for Sustenance 26:50 The Need For Rest 29:22 The Need For Love 30:49 The Need For Understanding 32:32 The Need For Belonging 35:03 The Need For Purpose 36:46 The Need For Creativity 39:19 The Need For Freedom 41:36 Calculating Our Needs Percentage 44:00 Percentage Indicators 46:38 Strategy Overview 52:40 The Importance Of Authenticity 57:24 Lowest & Highest Scores 58:41 Highest Scoring Need 59:53 Highest Score Strategies 1:01:31 Lowest Scoring Need 1:02:16 Lowest Score Strategies 1:04:21 New Strategies For Lowest Score? 1:08:13 Invitation To Further Exploration 1:11:02 Christine's Experience 1:23:52 David's Experience 1:30:21 Closing & Goodbyes 1:32:00 Theme Song 1:33:03 Like & Subscribe

S1 E8 | Activity: Are My Needs Met?

In this episode, Christine shares a Needs-Based Protocol she's been working on. David and Hallie experiment with what emotions feel like in their bodies and how their emotions can be valuable messengers pointing to unmet needs. Then, Christine leads Hallie and David in an exercise to assess a relationship, environment, or activity by scoring how well they support each of the 9 Universal Human Needs. Then we discuss brainstorming creative strategies to meet those needs ourselves as well as specific requests to make of others. We welcome you to follow along in these experiments and offer feedback or questions in the comments. As we develop this protocol, your input is highly valuable. 0:00 Intro 0:10 Theme Song 0:37 Exercise Overview 4:45 Noticing Emotions 9:06 The Level Of Suffering 12:30 David's Emotions 15:21 Hallie's Emotions 18:47 The Nine Human Needs 23:29 David's Unmet Needs 25:04 Hallie's Unmet Needs 26:30 Meeting Our Needs 30:29 How Emotions Relate To Needs 35:34 Partner, Place Or Profession? 40:40 Rating Needs Being Met 44:50 High, Medium & Low Scores 50:05 Personally Meeting Our Needs 50:45 Specific Request Of Another Person 52:08 Creating Distance 53:30 Strategy Examples 1:02:34 Outro & Goodbyes 1:04:12 Theme Song 1:05:16 Like & Subscribe

S1E7 | Parts Chat: Who is the Healer in an IFS Session?

In this episode of the Self Led Besties Podcast, Christine, Hallie and David speak for their active parts around the exclusion of non therapists from the IFSI training (yes, we still have parts processing the decision made 2 1/2 years ago!). We reference an article entitled "The Ethics of Using IFS in Coaching." Here is the link, if you'd like to read the article yourself: https://www.compassionateresultscoaching.com/blog/ethics-of-ifs-coaching [https://www.compassionateresultscoaching.com/blog/ethics-of-ifs-coaching] A main point in the article is that IFS is unique in its understanding that it is NOT the practitioner but the client's Self who is the healing agent in their system. So the question is NOT "Who is allowed to facilitate IFS?", but "Who does IFS assert is the healer?" We discuss our distress over the conflict between therapists and non-therapists created by the exclusion and our desire to be united in the unique hope of IFS. We also discuss how much of mainstream therapy can end up reinforcing client's core wounds such as, "I am helpless," "something is wrong with me," etc. and how anyone with Self energy - a coach, friend, family member - can be supportive of our own Self tending to our parts, and that, ultimately, it is always Love that heals. 0:00 Intro 0:12 Theme Song 0:38 Discussion Intoduction 2:33 How Christine's Parts Responded 4:28 How David's Parts Responded 5:46 How Hallie's Parts Responded 10:42 Article Introduction 12:46 Article Reading 23:21 How Therapy Can Reinforce Wounds 29:59 The Importance Of Self-Energy 36:58 The Importance of Relationship 40:50 The Importance of Inner Work 43:26 The Importance Of Self-Led Friends 52:16 IFSI & Christianity 55:09 How Love Heals 59:53 A Beautiful Poem By Hallie 1:00:48 Closing & Goodbyes 1:01:34 Theme Song 1:02:35 Like & Subscribe!

S1E6 | Activity: The Relationship Garden

In this episode, David leads Hallie and Christine (and you) through an exercise based on a beautiful gardening metaphor to bring curiosity and awareness to the relationships in our lives. In the exercise, we imagine four flower beds - one each for seedling, deeply rooted flowering, withering, and dying relationships. We assess the time and energy we put into each type of relationship as well as listen to parts' fears and needs around the various stages of our relationships. After the exercise, Christine and Hallie share about the insights they gained, and Hallie extends the metaphor in many wonderful ways. If you participate in the exercise, we'd love to hear about your experience in the comment section! 0:00 Intro 0:10 Theme Song 0:34 Exercise Overview 2:01 Parts Check-In 3:17 Imagining The Garden 5:32 Noticing Four Flowerbeds 8:59 Energy & Effort Percentage 10:52 First Flowerbed - Seedlings & Saplings 13:42 Second Flowerbed - Evergreens 16:03 Third Flowerbed - Wilting & Withering 18:18 Fourth Flowerbed - Composting 20:42 Part's Insights? 21:15 Energy & Effort Change? 23:02 Bonus Question 23:44 Exercise Ending 24:20 Christine's Experience 35:54 Hallie's Experience 56:43 Relationship Discussion 1:10:36 Closing & Goodbyes 1:11:49 Theme Song 1:12:53 Like & Subscribe!

S1E5 | Activity: Gentle Presence Lights the Way

In this episode, Hallie leads David and Christine (and you) through an incredibly helpful exercise to get to know parts around a polarization and then to bring them together to find a Self-led consensus. Hallie starts with the prompt, "What is something you/parts of you have been putting off?” and leads us to get to know the parts who want to do the thing and the parts who block/resist it. She guides us toward gentle inquiry of each part/set of parts to find out their fears, needs, values, and requests. At the end, we all share for what came up for us in the experiment/experience. Feel free to join us in doing the exercise and share your experience in the comments or just listen to our experiences. You cannot get it wrong! 0:00 Intro 0:11 Theme Song 0:35 Exercise Preview 1:51 Exercise Overview 6:54 Finding a Trailhead 8:17 First Part's Questions P1 11:33 First Part's Questions P2 12:39 First Part's Questions P3 13:21 Second Part's Questions P1 16:18 Second Part's Questions P2 16:45 Second Part's Questions P3 17:24 Spending Time With Vulnerable Parts 20:23 Bringing Parts Together 21:54 Sharing Part's Perspectives 24:43 Inviting a Consensus 25:54 Exercise Conclusion 27:53 David's Experience 36:01 Christine's Experience 48:05 Exercise Reflection 56:40 Hallie's Experience 1:00:14 Closing & Goodbyes 1:02:23 Theme Song 1:03:23 Like & Subscribe!