The Attachment Confessions

FA & DA Relationship: Why the Fearful Avoidant / Dismissive Avoidant Dynamic Hurts the Most (and how to make it work)

Y'all – this one is personal. The fearful avoidant / dismissive avoidant relationship dynamic is, without question, the most painful attachment combination out there. And as a healing FA who's been on both sides of it? I know this one all too well.  In this episode, we're getting into exactly why the FA/DA pairing starts off feeling like fate — and why it almost always ends in flames. What we cover in this episode: * Why the FA and DA are magnetically attracted to each other at first (hint: it's the shadow self) * The difference between vulnerability and transparency — and why DAs seem open but aren't * How the honeymoon phase fades and the conflict cycle begins * Why the DA shuts down and the FA spirals — and how each makes the other's wounds worse * My own FA/DA story and what finally broke things for good * What it actually takes for this relationship dynamic to survive — and when to walk away The FA needs to feel seen, heard and understood. The DA needs peace and harmony above all else. When those two core needs collide – especially in conflict – it creates a cycle that's genuinely brutal to break out of. But it's not impossible. As long as both partners are willing to do the work. 💜Looking to heal your own FA/DA relationship? Listeners of The Attachment Confessions get 10% off Dr. Sarah Hensley's attachment healing programs at thelovedoc.com [https://thelovedoc.com/] — use code CHELSEA10 at checkout. Listen to these episodes first: > Avoidant Attachment: A Deep Dive into the Dismissive Avoidant > Disorganized Attachment: A Deep Dive into the Fearful Avoidant > Attachment vs. Narcissism: How to Tell the Difference — and Why It Matters for Your Healing Coming up next: Our first-ever couple joins the pod! Tesha & Taylor are an FA/DA couple who've lived this dynamic firsthand — and are now on the road to healing. You will NOT want to miss this one. 🙌 If this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs it. You never know what people are going through – and attachment science genuinely changes lives. It changed mine. xo - Chelsea

Your Attachment Questions Answered: Listener Q&A

Hello, Confessions Fam! Welcome back for episode 23! He’s baaack! Everyone’s favorite Dismissive Avoidant (actually, recently discovered Fearful Avoidant who leans avoidant) – Brent Stokes – is joining the pod again to help answer YOUR questions! You’ve inquired – and as your semi-fearless host, I’m here to give you my {not so} expert attachment advice, purely based on my past year of personal heartbreak, Phoenix-like rising, and next-level obsession of burrowing down the attachment science rabbit hole.  When the people have relationship questions, we’re here to give you the best possible answers to your attachment woes. Been there, done that – got 3+ decades worth of insecure attachment T-shirts! Today is going to hit hard, provide sound advice, and bring clarity on your most-asked attachment questions I’ve received over the past 7 months since TAC launched. As ALWAYS, please ask any attachment-related questions or just chit chat with me on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions [https://www.instagram.com/theattachmentconfessions] To have your question answered on future Q&A episodes, send an audio message with your name, location, and question to the “TAC hotline” to be featured. Love you guys so much and thank you for your heartfelt questions! xo - Chelsea & Brent Links from today's episode: >>NEW OFFER FOR LISTENERS OF THE ATTACHMENT CONFESSIONS!!<< We are SO excited to share that The Attachment Confessions has teamed up with our favorite attachment expert, Dr. Sarah Hensley, to offer listeners of the pod something special!! Use promo code CHELSEA10 at checkout for 10% off ANY of Dr. Sarah Hensley’s transformative attachment healing programs, digital products and services at: The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services [https://thelovedoc.com/]  >>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories?<<  Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount! https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15 [https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15] OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Born & Raised Secure: A Deep Dive into Secure Attachment

What’s up, Confessions Fam! Welcome back to the pod for episode 22! Today we are putting a bow on our current four-part series where we've been diving deep into each attachment style one by one. The final feature? Our few-and-far-between Born Secures! Have you ever looked at a couple and thought to yourself, “Man – that right there is straight-up relationship goals!” – It’s a refreshingly beautiful sight to see, isn’t it??  So today we’re getting an up-close and personal look at how in the world our lucky born secures turned out to be so darn healthy and stable. Those that formed a secure attachment from the start unfortunately do not make up the majority of the attachment styles, but thanks to the amazement that is the human brain, those of us who weren’t blessed to be born secure still have a chance to reprogram our insecure patterns and work towards earning our own attachment security. Whether you’re an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a fellow {healing} Fearful Avoidant, today’s Born & Raised Secure Deep Dive will leave you inspired to do the inner work so that you, too, can experience healthy, secure love. Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing adventure. My hope is by bringing attachment science to those of you who have never heard of it before and by sharing my own story, you'll also be motivated to embark on your own attachment healing journey.  xo - Chelsea Link from today's episode: >>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount! https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15 [https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15] OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Disorganized Attachment: A Deep Dive into the Fearful Avoidant

Hello everyone! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions for episode 21! Today's episode is part three of our current four-part series where we're examining each attachment style even further. This week's feature? The Fearful Avoidant. **Alexa: Cue Katy Perry's 2008 hit "Hot N Cold"** Sometimes referred to as Disorganized Attachment, the FA is the most complex of all the attachment styles. And not to brag, but – it’s also the attachment style of yours truly ; ) Have you ever wondered why you tend to be hot one minute, cold the next in your relationships? Ever been baffled by the on again, off again patterns of a former flame? Well, buckle up – today’s Fearful Avoidant deep dive is about to finally make the relationship light bulbs illuminate like never before. Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing adventure. My hope is by bringing attachment science to those of you who have never heard of it before and by sharing my own story, you'll also be inspired to embark on your own attachment healing journey.  xo - Chelsea Links from today's episode: >>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing, drinkware and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount! https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15 [https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15] -OR- use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout >>The Love Doc/Dr. Sarah Hensley's website The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services [https://thelovedoc.com/]

Avoidant Attachment: A Deep Dive into the Dismissive Avoidant

Hello everybody! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions for episode 20! Today's episode is part two of our current four-part series where we're dissecting each attachment style even further. This week's feature? The Dismissive Avoidant. There's a reason why this insecure attachment style seems to get the most attention of them all. The DA is oddly enough the most predictable attachment style, yet oftentimes the most frustrating for anyone who's ever had their heart broken by a Dismissive Avoidant (same girl, same). So sit back, relax, and get ready to have your mind blown with today's DA deep dive. Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing adventure. My hope is by bringing attachment science to those of you who have never heard of it before and by sharing my own story, you'll also be inspired to embark on your own attachment healing journey.  xo - Chelsea Link from today's episode: The Love Doc/Dr. Sarah Hensley's website | The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services [https://thelovedoc.com/] >>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount! https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15 [https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15] OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout