25: Rich Friends and Why You Need Them (But Don't Invite Them to Thanksgiving)
Welcome to Broke is Boring. The podcast where we stop glorifying the struggle and start talking about what really matters. Freedom, living life on your own terms and the money you need to make that happen. We're your hosts, Tiffany and Jane, and we're two mamas who love making money and spending it on the things that truly matter to us.
So pull up a seat at our table and let's get into it because Broke is boring and we are here to prove that money does in fact buy happiness. 1, 2, 3.
Welcome back to Broke is Boring. Today we're gonna talk about the truth about rich friends, why you need them, and why your circle impacts your ceiling. Ooh, this is such a good one and really was gonna, is gonna stretch some people because we have discussed a lot about growth mindset in other podcasts and now today, I think we really need to focus on that, leaning into that paying for proximity thing.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. We've heard that saying over and over and over again. Take inventory, like pause this if you need to, and name those people that you spend the most time with. And then are those people who bring you up, bring you down or keep you stagnant?
I would say they probably don't even need to pause it. You know who you're thinking of and we're here to tell you, perhaps it's time to cut some ties. I always wanna be in a room with people who are smarter than me, who are wealthier than me, who I can learn something from. Because when you are at the top of anything, you're only pulled down, like you fall to the level of wherever the, the weakest link is.
Right. I. Want to even clarify wealth here because I have friends in our circle who are significantly more financially wealthy than Mark and I now. We still inspire those couples because of our time wealth, and so we are able to learn from each other in those scenarios, and so it's really important to.
Understand where you want to go and make sure you're aligning your circle with those goals. And I think even being on this world cruise has really opened us to a lot of new people because you don't end up on a world cruise unless you've done something that other people don't do, because this is not something that everybody just has all the time in the world for, or the finances to go be able to do.
And it's really cool to meet people on this ship and learn their story. Like, Hey, how did you end up here? We've met people who are pro athletes. Mm-hmm. And people who have these incredible companies that they've built. And I just love hearing their stories and learning from them. Yeah, so that's certainly a pay for proximity example.
Right? But the thing I have actually really enjoyed about our time on that World Cruise is that I am also validated that there are other young families on this planet making the same decisions as me. Not as many Americans as I would like, but I think we're trending in that direction. And so it has been a wonderful experience learning from other people and also being validated in our decision to take a big trip like that.
So one of my all time favorite books, like Truly My Top Three is a book called The Top 10 Distinctions Between Millionaires and the Middle Class, and so I just wanna kind of talk about some of those key points in that book because it really hits home and just shows you like who you're surrounded by.
100 per. Scent affects your success in life. You have recommended Keith Cameron Smith's book to me at least three times and so now it needs to go to the top. So we're gonna talk about it today, but I need to really dive in and, and read it. Just, yeah, what are you doing?
Not like you don't have time. What's the plan? Oh my God. Okay, so the first one that, and, and this book is just a bunch of one-liners. So actually we were just talking about like, do you listen to podcasts and audio books? Regular speed, one x, two x, whatever. This book I had to actually listen to in real time because there was so many just truth bombs.
I had to have a minute to digest them literally. So if I am listening to an audio book that is just like. Golden and delicious. I immediately have to buy the hard copy because I have to underline, highlight. I need to own it in my personal library because it's part of my love language to be able to share that with others.
Okay, you need this book? Then I'll write for you. This is, this is a hard copy situation. Okay? The first thing is millionaires think long term. The middle class thinks short term. So in this, the poor mindset is thinking day to day, middle class mindset is thinking month to month. And millionaire mindset is thinking perhaps years in advance.
Decade to decade Yep. Is what he says. Yeah. All right. This one is so true. Okay. Millionaires talk about ideas and the middle class talks about things and people, Ooh, baby, I, if I am at brunch with some friends, I wanna talk about business and not boys. That's a T-shirt. Hello. Business over boys. We've sat, our families have sat together for four months every single day and we talk about ideas every single day. Business ideas, life goals, family goals.
Like that is the core of all of our conversations and why we hit it off so well. 100 if we only just sat around gossiping about all the other passengers on board, we'd probably have some entertainment for sure. But it wouldn't move us ahead in life. So that is a huge. Huge one. And I think that's something really easy to take inventory of and just change the conversation.
And when you see people complaining about something, just flip the script, I just say like, okay, that's great. What are we gonna do about it? Like, let's have a solution based conversation here and not just venting for the sake of venting.
Okay. Next one. Yeah. Alright, the next one. Millionaires embrace change and the middle class is threatened by change. I would even venture to say I thrive in change. I love the changing environments we've had over the four months. I really am looking forward to what's next.
I'm not actually looking for stability. I think I'm threatened by the stability of life. It feels too slow. I'm not listening to life at that one x feed. Growth just never happens in your comfort zone. Hmm. And I will challenge what you said as I am somebody who really likes having a home base
like, I couldn't live nomadic like you do just every 90 days moving from place to place. I really like to be home. I really like having my own things, my own bed and my own step. But I, I can absolutely just go do things on a whim. I can have a career change if I'm unhappy.
Like I know people who have been stuck in their job that they hate for years and years and years, and they'll, they're gonna be there the next. 10 years too, because they're not gonna make a change. So I, I find that is a big step in, in moving into that growth mindset. I think that's related to number four, which is millionaires take calculated risks and then the middle class is afraid to take those risks.
Mm. Yeah, those go hand in hand. 100%. Alright, then next one. Millionaires continually learn and grow while middle class thinking ended with school. Oof. How many people do you know who stopped reading after they finished school? Everyone, no one in my circle, I'll tell you that. Yeah. Books is one of the things we talk about Books and business over boys.
If I'm at brunch, we are having like a little mini book club. I want to continually be learning as part of our homeschool curriculum. If you even call it a curriculum that I have is that as a family of five, we just sit down and read books and it's because my husband and I want to model that for our children.
I will always. Pay for professional development. This is something I hesitated to do for a while. Like, oh, do I really wanna pay for that masterclass? There's so many free resources out there. And as soon as I started paying for additional education, my income skyrocketed because I had everything in one place.
I had paid for it. So I was fully invested in learning. And you become. In a circle with a bunch of people who are way smarter and wealthier than you, you have to learn in those circles. And so I always will value paying for proximity and paying to be in rooms with people I can absolutely learn something from.
I just think you don't have to reinvent the wheel. Mm-hmm. The wheel has been invented, so now it is time to go find the people who are doing the things that are working. Toward whatever goal you're reaching towards. And go pay them for their time and for their knowledge to give it to you. Fast track, your success by paying for that proximity. And I think that's why people are always asking us for coaching 100% because we have that, we have the blueprint, we've done it, we've seen it, and people see that and say, okay, I wanna learn from, from them too. So here you go. Now you get our podcast.
Welcome to the table, girl. All right, this next one is really good too. Millionaires work for profits. The middle class works for wages. My gosh, trading time for money is just a lesson I don't want my kids to learn. I don't want you to know how much you make per hour. You make. Money per task. If that task takes 20 minutes or three hours, that is what you need to be thinking towards.
You finish a project and you create profits from it. You're not just working for a $10 an hour job. I think the most valuable thing is that. When you have your own business, despite it being a multimillion dollar company or a little passion project you do from home on the side, you control that income.
It is uncapped and you can do anything you want with it, and you are just not. Like, I don't want someone to tell me for the, for 40 years when I can take my lunch break. Like, I don't, I I, that I'm not participating in that, right? I want to be in charge of my income and I want to determine my worth. And that's really what it is.
So one time I made the realization that. I'm not making the kind of money I wanna be making. I haven't helped enough people yet.
And if you wanna go make more money, you need to help more people. And that might change based on what kind of business you have. But if you wanna make a bigger impact and make more money, go help more people. Number seven is millionaires believe that they must be generous and the middle class believes that it can't afford to give.
Now for my husband and I, I relate this back to real estate. So whenever we moved back to our hometown from Tokyo, we, you know, quit our jobs. We saw a lot of blighted properties in our hometown, and we saw a vision for them. It wasn't a 30 day goal. It wasn't a one year goal. We saw that it was gonna take a lot of work to bring these blighted properties back to life.
A lot of time, energy, knowledge, and money to do so. And so the way we were generous towards our hometown, towards our community was by taking on that project, we were time rich and we had the means to be able to access funds to be able to invest in our community. And you know what happened? Now it's helping pay for my lifestyle.
And so it it when with my daughters, we talk about living life with a closed fist or an open hand. So whenever you have a closed fist, you can't lose money, but you can't receive money from your hand. Right? When you have an open hand, you can give and receive. And so we are really, really trying to teach life with an open hand.
I love that. I've never heard that saying, oh my gosh. Thank you. I love you. All right, the next one, a millionaires have multiple sources of income. The middle class has only one or two. This is crucial, especially when times are difficult for people. I hear all the time people saying, oh, well this is my stable job.
I need something stable, and. You can get a pink slip anytime from that quote, stable job. This is a backwards thinking for from the rest of society. But the stability comes in what you can create yourself, because you can control that. You have full decision making over your own business, and that is way more stable than any gov, you know, any.
Regular W2 job, quite frankly. How much did you make as a fifth grade teacher? $38,000 a year. If you make $38,000 a year and you're listening to this podcast, I want to encourage you to not accept that as your, as your fixed income for the remainder of your life. You need multiple streams of income. If you're a teacher, you need to be hustling, perhaps reaching out to us to talk about what you can do during the summer, but you need to be understanding that life.
Has potential to be much more beautiful, but not at $38,000. You need more money and it is okay to hustle and go try to find it and no, it's multiple six figures. Well, yeah, it, it gets better girl. Because I was able to take all of my skills as a teacher and put it into things that I could monetize and grow using my skillset, and that is across multiple streams of income.
I think one of the things people. Don't consider, is that it a decision to make a. Change, you know, buy some real estate or get into a new business. Doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. You don't have to quit your current career and then start this big thing. You can do it as a side hustle to start kind of get this proof of concept and then realize, oh.
I'm making 38 grand as a fifth grade teacher and a hundred grand as something else. Lemme go focus on that something else. And so it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. No. And then, so I grew my business on the side and then we got into real estate and I said, Hey. I like this too. We built that up to be a six figure business as well.
So now I am, I feel pretty set and, and you know, anything can happen in the world, right? We can have some crazy storm that comes and wipes out all of our real estate overnight. But now because we have multiple sources of income, I have this other business that we can lean on if we need to. I see so many people right now.
Just losing their jobs left and right, and they have nothing to fall back onto. And I promise myself, I will never put myself in that situation. Don't have to. Number nine is. Number nine is Millionaires focus on increasing their net worth, and the middle class focuses on increasing their paychecks.
The way I tie that too is our real estate holdings going back to our investments into our community. Our family of five lived on around $40,000 a year while we were investing in our hometown, and it was because we didn't really need anything. All we needed was time together. So we played at a lot of parks.
We ate a lot of Turkey sandwiches. We did not eat out. We didn't. Go on extravagant trips. Luckily it was during Covid, so we just like hung out. Right? And because it was during Covid, it kept us stateside. And so we were able to focus on our investments and growing our net worth instead of.
Taking money out of our business we just didn't have much that we needed to pay for. On our personal side, we were debt free. I see people just trade their soul for their company in hopes that someone will recognize their hard work and, and what type of.
Like in salary increase, did they get 2%, 5% max? Right? Like, how much can you really earn every single year? , Oh yay, you get a bonus this year. Oh, yay. Your salary went up 3% this year. Like people give their lives for these.
Three to 5% increases where maybe you just start a business and you can make way more than that and have the amount of time. I would flip the script on that from a time perspective. 'cause I know very wealthy people who have this carrot that their employer holds out.
Mm-hmm. Five years of vesting. Right. We talked about this with Dan when his financial job, so he had some stuff that he needed to stay in the company longer in order to convert this. Incentive the shares package to cash. And so employers are very good at what they do. They know at keeping you there. So this isn't even specifically talking to just an employee, it's talking that needs money.
This is talking to people who have the money and just see this carrot. Five years down the road, and then their employer is keeping them time poor. And I say, okay, what type of assets can we buy that can make us that same amount of money faster? Mm-hmm. Right? Assets. Me like and, and we intentionally invest in appreciating assets.
I don't need a boat. Like a boat is not going to help me, but a rental property. Absolutely. Right. So be intentional with what you're buying. We talked about, you know, not having the fanciest car on the block and all of these things too, but. Be so intentional. And the last one is millionaires ask themselves empowering questions and the middle class asks a disempowering question.
So do you focus on growth and solutions or do you just reinforce your limitations? It's that growth mindset we talked about the other day with can I afford it or how can I afford it? I think the overarching theme of this podcast is just. Understanding that rich friends don't make you greedy. They make you grow.
Mm. Yeah. So who are you surrounding yourself by? Who are you learning from? And, and is that, is that helping you grow? So, we have a task for you today. Oh my gosh. This is something that maybe you have never been told before, but go ahead. Unfollow five people on social media who make you feel less than, and then follow five who inspire you to build more.
So I love this idea of just saying, who can you cut? I would challenge you to get rid of everyone. Not just five, but you know, there's five. There's at least five. Go through anybody who brings you down, cut them off. It doesn't matter if they're a relative. It doesn't matter who they are. They don't deserve to have your energy, your attention, your focus, cut them off, and then replace those with people you can learn from.
This is especially true in your algorithm and reels too. If you're watching super depressing stuff, the algorithm is gonna say, oh, they really like this thing, and show you more of that, and you end up in this deep dark circle. So go unfollow anything that doesn't work with your growth, and you'll instantly be happier.
I will tell you that. I'm not trying to like ruin your Thanksgiving dinner, so like you're not, you don't have to un unfriend your mom, right? Or you don't have to unfriend your cousin. But what you can do is if you are clicking the unfollow button, you're, you're just not seeing their stuff in your newsfeed.
So. See you later, Janet. I would probably unfollow them, but you can snooze like unfriend them. Yeah, I would. That's what I mean. Snooze. You can snooze 'em and they don't even know it. Yeah. Snoo them don't ruin Thanksgiving. I mean, eh, it's already ruined. Let's be honest. You already don't like being there though.
That holiday sucks. Are you kidding? That's my favorite holiday of all time. Why Thanksgiving? Yeah. Hold on. For real. You hate Thanksgiving? Yeah. I mean, I'm grateful every day, like not, I just, I don't need a Thursday. Hold on to eat some noodles. You, well, that's why you hate it if you're eating noodles.
What? Okay. I actually have had this conversation. People in the Midwest, we have noodles and chicken on, on, okay, I'm gonna tell you a story. So we lived in Italy and all of my American coworkers in Italy were either from the east coast, Washington, dc, Boston, Maine, all these places. Or the West Coast, California.
Seattle. Okay. I was the only one they said who was from the middle. Great Baker's from the middle. Okay. It was a thing for the four years I was there one year. We have Thanksgiving. Dinner at one of our coworkers houses and he's like, Hey, everybody, tell me what you're bringing to Thanksgiving dinner.
And I'm like, oh, for sure. Got it. I'm bringing chicken and noodles. And he said, Nope, thanks. We have Turkey and ham and you don't need to bring chicken and noodles. Yeah, I'm perplexed. And I said, I'm absolutely bringing that because I'm from the Midwest and that's what we eat and you're gonna like it. And so he was very cranky and he ate them and they were delicious.
But. I didn't know that. No one else did that on Thanksgiving. That is bizarre and disgusting. No wonder why you hate this. No, no. Thanksgiving. I, this is a hill I will die on. Thanksgiving is the best holiday because there's no tacky music. Hmm. There's no presence. It that you don't have to lie and trick your kids about anything, and it is just a holiday about being together and eating delicious food and all the carbs like chicken and noodles, and you don't have presents.
Okay. Okay. No, no, no. You do not understand. Like I will plan our entire year's travel to make sure I'm home for Thanksgiving. I like Thanksgiving because people are back in our hometown. So one year we were out of town for Thanksgiving. It made me sad because like a lot of people come back home mm-hmm. To see their families.
Yeah. But, and like, but I. For me, we have several different meals on Thanksgiving Day and I just don't eat that much. Like, no, we star, I don't wanna go to three. We starve ourselves all day because we know we are pounding it hard at three o'clock. I have three gatherings on Thanksgiving Day, we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, like it's ridiculous.
Okay. Well now that I've determined I will never move to the Midwest, that's, oh, that's, that was the reason. That's the one. Not all the other things. You're coming to the Midwest, you're gonna love it. I like, I like Halloween. That's my favorite holiday. And it's because I live in a front porch neighborhood and all of my neighbors come out and we get really into it.
It's not like we have to, we like all decorate our houses and stuff, but like we all are on our porches in this community. Walking around with our families, it feels very safe and fun and inviting. Everyone's happy and. The neighborhood we live in, lots of families from our hometown actually like come to that neighborhood for Halloween.
Like I have the Halloween neighborhood. It's so fun. No, I don't like Halloween because I'm a crunchy mom and I don't want all that disgusting candy in my house. Oh my gosh. Okay, here's the hack. This is why it's my favorite holiday. I give out bouncy balls and like toys. Okay. And juice boxes. Okay. Well, I would not come to your house then because I'm gonna, I also hate my neighbors and I don't want them coming to my dog.
I'm in it for the Snickers bar or not. Like don't, I don't wear eraser. I did get pissed when Lucas started counting his candy. 'cause then I couldn't sneak anything This past year, here's what we do. So there's like three hours of Halloween trick or treating. It two different nights in our hometown. We do two nights.
Do you guys only do one? You are just, dude, we go hard. No sense. Okay. I do know that that's weird that we have two nights, but it's because it's so awesome. So we do two nights, but it's three hours each. Okay. So the first hour and a half. I send my army of three cute little babies dressed up as whatever out to all of our neighbor's houses.
So we go around, we say hi to all the neighbors, we get all the candy. Okay? Guess what we do for the last hour and a half? We go back to our house. We all pick out our favorite five. Snicker bars or whatever we got, we put 'em in the house, then we turn on our porch like Bing, and we give away all the rest of the candy.
Okay. I don't see that as charitable. I think you're just being cheap so you don't have to buy your own candy. And I'm being strategic because I don't have to keep any of it. I can't have, I don't work in an office. Remember when you worked like in your school, you'd bring in the extra whatever. Oh my God.
This is why I hate Halloween because all the kids would come in the next day. Oh no. Yogurt up trading, eating it for breakfast. And I, I would hate November 1st. And you liked Thanksgiving 'cause you had a cou couple days off. 'cause I had a five day weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Remember when we used to live for five day weekend?
Oh my God. No, I, I, I like the dressing up part. Like Luca wanted to be a UPS man last year and then No, he was a pirate last year at UPS the day, year before that was super cute. I'm not anti dressing up. But I don't like all that candy in my house. And also, I don't like getting scared. Like when I, when like, I don't like zombies that just like pop up behind a bush because that neighbor's just a jerk.
What were we talking about? I, I don't know. But now Okay, go unfollow people don't unfollow us. We're sorry. Yeah, I don't know how we got on that, but. Now I just feel like I'm not grounded right now because when I come to Maine, when I visit you in Maine, I am bringing chicken and noodles and I can't wait for you to rave about them.
Well, I will not eat it unless, well, you are not coming in November, so I'm clear. No, we have Turkey. Cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes. My grandma makes the best green beans. Mm-hmm. She makes the best Brussels sprouts. Your 95-year-old grandma still cooks. Yeah, we have a whole full thing. We all help, but yeah, it's like her.
She has it. So we, we all are like, grandma, you have to give us all your recipes before you pass away. And she's like, they're the ones on the back of the box. She's like, it's, it's had the same recipe for 60 years. Still on the back of the Campbell's box. That is amazing. So I actually had her, I had her write down each letter.
Of the alphabet, and then I uploaded it into this website that created her handwriting into a font. And so I'm working on right now. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm working right now on creating all of her recipes. So it looks like her handwriting without having to write all down, because she doesn't have them written down.
She has, she's peeled off the back of the box and that's what her cookbook thing is like glued in. Box recipes. And so I'm working on it. I'll show it to you. Relax. I'm so excited. Calm down. You know, my brain's like, oh my gosh. Yeah. I've been, I, when I say I've been working on this, I've been working on it for like three years now.
I'm not actually working on it, but I have it. And all my family's putting together their favorite recipes and then I'm gonna put it into like a Shutterfly book. Okay. This is your. Task for 2025. You have to lean into that. Well, I know. 'cause I have to show it to her before she's gone, you know? Yeah. And then she'll critique it.
All. That took a, a dark. Yeah. We'll cut that off. Yeah. I have to finish that and get that out to everybody. It's amazing. I love that so much. All right, well, what's the topic of this? Go read the. Go read whatever the this book is called. So, okay, so while, so while we took a detour on that episode and I have to reevaluate if Tiffany is still my friend.
This was the truth about Rich Friends and why you need them, and why you need to not invite them over for Thanksgiving. Yeah, you still need me in your life. See you next time. Bye.
Thanks for listening to today's episode of Broke is Boring. Make sure to follow the show, leave a review and share it with a friend who is done being broke too. You can find us on Instagram at Broke is boring and we'll catch you in the next episode. Thanks for being here.
