Support is Sexy

828: Belonging That Works: Beyond the DEI Checkbox with CEO Jean Ibañez Payne

Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault and mental health. Founder/CEO Jean Ibañez Payne of TI Verbatim Consulting shares how to build humane, people-first cultures—without outsourcing leadership to HR—and her courageous journey as a military sexual trauma survivor choosing healing, daily. Highlights * "Going to work shouldn't suck": why culture starts at the top, not in HR * What HR can do—and why it can't fix leadership problems alone * How TIVC blends qualitative interviews + natural-language AI to turn employee feelings into decisions leaders can act on * Equality vs. equity you won't forget (think: the job is on the 2nd floor—equity is the elevator) * Layoffs with humanity: transparency, notice, benefits, and reputation * Jean's story as a military sexual trauma survivor: shame, rock bottom, and choosing life * Daily practices to reclaim your worth: therapy, medication without stigma, movement, community, and permission to step back Quotes "Culture starts at the top. You can't outsource leadership to HR." "Equality is being qualified for the job on the second floor. Equity is the elevator." "Being perfect is too boring." "I stopped outsourcing my worth—and I chose to live." About our guest Jean Ibañez Payne is the founder & CEO of TI Verbatim Consulting (TIVC), a culture and people-operations firm using AI + human expertise to align leadership strategy with what employees actually feel and experience. She's a Certified Diversity Executive and the author of Reclaim Your Worth (also in Spanish and a children's edition). Links & Mentions * Jean's site: https://reclaimyourworthnow.com * Book (English): Reclaim Your Worth [https://a.co/d/dwMYduL] * Libro (Español): Recupera tu valor [https://a.co/d/dxjh550] * TI Verbatim Consulting (TIVC): https://www.tiverbatim.com Connect * Jean: LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jean-iba%C3%B1ez-payne-25610a22/] * Elayne: LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/] * Listen & share: Send this episode to a leader ready to build a humane workplace. Resources & Support If you're in immediate danger: Call 911 (U.S.) or your local emergency number. Sexual assault support (U.S.) * RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline (24/7): 800-656-HOPE (4673) · Chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online * DoD Safe Helpline (24/7, military survivors): 877-995-5247 · https://www.safehelpline.org * NSVRC – National Sexual Violence Resource Center: https://www.nsvrc.org (education + local program finder) Mental health & crisis (U.S.) * 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7): Call or text 988 · Chat: https://988lifeline.org (Veterans: press 1) * Crisis Text Line (24/7): Text HOME to 741741 · https://www.crisistextline.org [https://www.crisistextline.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] * SAMHSA National Helpline (24/7): 800-662-HELP (4357) · https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline * FindTreatment.gov: https://findtreatment.gov * NAMI HelpLine (M–F): 800-950-NAMI (6264) · Text HelpLine to 62640 · https://www.nami.org/help * National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7): 800-799-SAFE (7233) · Text START to 88788 · https://www.thehotline.org [https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Outside the U.S. * International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP): Global crisis center directory: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ If this episode was helpful, please share follow, rate, and review—your support helps more listeners find these stories.

827: How to Design a Life Beyond Burnout with Life Coach Jelan Agnew

In this powerful conversation, Life Coach Jelan Agnew, LCSW shares how ICU-level burnout during 2020 became her wake-up call to design life on purpose. She walks us through the mindset shifts that took her from overachievement and overload to presence, sobriety, and self-permission—ultimately moving to Mexico and reshaping her work from one-to-one therapy into coaching, workshops, and speaking. We unpack her "empty notebook" and baseline frameworks, why perfection is just avoidance in a cute outfit, and how focusing on feelings first (not the resume or the how) opens unexpected doors. What you'll learn * Baseline > Busyness: How to stop the thousand‑miles‑per‑hour train and rediscover what you actually like, need, and value now. * Empty Notebook Method: Starting fresh—without old labels—to write the next chapter of your life. * From Therapy to Coaching: Reframing impact: serving more people through workshops and speaking while protecting your well‑being. * Feelings First: Why we chase titles/things for the feeling—and how to design from the feeling instead. * Perfection = Avoidance: Giving yourself permission to be clumsy, new, and vulnerable. * Sobriety & Mindfulness: Removing substances to find your emotional baseline and practicing presence to notice what truly fits. * Permission Slips: The power of support (shoutout to therapy) and learning to give permission to yourself. * Red‑Jeep Phenomenon: Put awareness on what you want and watch the signals appear. Conversation highlights (guide, no spoilers) * Why both of us moved to Playa del Carmen—and how geography can catalyze growth * Jelan's ICU wake‑up call, burnout in 2020, and choosing a different way * Baseline vs. busy: stopping the train and meeting yourself in the present * The guilt of leaving a long career—and reframing impact * Mindfulness, sobriety, and rebuilding identity * Feeling over formulas: designing for joy, freedom, safety, and community * Perfection as avoidance; being willing to be "clumsy on purpose" * Self‑permission and the role of a great therapist in big moves Memorable quotes "I can help people, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of myself." — Jelan Agnew "Perfection is avoidance." — Jelan Agnew "You have the option to make a choice before you get sat down." — Jelan Agnew "Create the version of me that does that." — Jelan Agnew "The how is none of your business." — Jelan Agnew Try this: Listener challenge Grab an empty notebook (or open Notes) and complete these: 1. I want to feel… (one sentence) 2. Where do I already feel that today? (list 2–3 moments) 3. What micro‑ritual amplifies it this week? (one action—breath, rest, or presence) Bonus: For the next 7 days, put your awareness on this desire (hello, red‑Jeep effect) and notice what people, ideas, or invitations show up. Resources & mentions * Click here for Jelan's TED Talk [https://youtu.be/B1Bn9OWDqF0?si=A35eDL6AUmHgwAgi] (on mental health in the Black community) * Book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron * Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (We'll add direct links on the episode page.) Connect with Jelan * Website: https://www.nalejofselfllc.com/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nalejofself Connect with Elayne * Instagram: @elaynefluker [https://www.instagram.com/elaynefluker/] * LinkedIn: h [https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/]ttps://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/] * Website: elaynefluker.com Spread the support If this episode resonated, share it with the ambitious friend who needs permission to rest and rise. Rate/review the show to help more women leaders find us.

826: How to Practice Self-Care on Your Own Terms with Asutra CEO Stephanie Morimoto

Episode theme: Self‑care on your terms, scaling with intention, and growing a modern wellness brand without burning out. Guest: Stephanie Morimoto — CEO & Owner of Asutra; partner with Venus Williams; champion of practical self‑care. What you'll learn * What "self‑care on your terms" looks like (micro‑rituals you can actually keep). * Why Stephanie bought a business she loved—and how she knew she's a 10→100 builder, not a 0→1 founder. * The pivot from big‑box retail to QVC, Amazon, and a high‑growth DTC engine—and why mass retail is tough without huge ad dollars. * How a lean in‑house team (~10 people) plus expert agencies can outperform a larger org. * Why magnesium + capsaicin (in Asutra's Melt Pain Away) can help with aches, recovery, and sleep—and how to use it. * The power of naps, breathwork, and tiny habits for sustainable performance. * Building community and two‑way conversation with customers. Topic highlights (no‑spoiler guide) * Re‑intro + what's changed since 2020 * Designing life on your terms (Jackson Hole, travel, presence) * Defining self‑care beyond spa days: five breaths, 15‑minute bedtime shift, power naps * Stephanie's path: from customer to owner; due diligence and destiny * Partnering with Venus Williams and the QVC halo effect * Retail realities: capital, cash flow, and why channels matter * Lean‑team model: fractional CFO, creative, Amazon specialists * Tripling DTC sales via story‑driven social ads and better landing pages * Community, feedback loops, and what's next for Asutra Resources & mentions * Asutra — products & community: asutra.com * Instagram: @asutralife * Stephanie on LinkedIn/IG: Stephanie Morimoto * Products discussed: Melt Pain Away (magnesium + capsaicin body butter), Silk Sleep Mask (weighted, lavender + flax), Aromatherapy Mists, Yoga Mat Spray Try this listener challenge Pick one micro‑ritual and commit for 7 days: * Take 5 deep breaths between meetings or * Go to bed 15 minutes earlier or * Schedule a 20‑minute screen‑free rest/nap block Then tell me what changed for you—DM on IG @elaynefluker or email.

825: You Can't Unknow the Truth — Preserving Black History with Historian JerriAnne Boggis

In this powerful and timely episode, I'm honored to connect with historian JerriAnne Boggis — Executive Director of the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire — for a deeply resonant conversation about history, healing, and holding onto the truth. JerriAnne shares her personal journey from Jamaica to New Hampshire, the legacy of Black women trailblazers, and the 450-year untold story of Black lives in one of America's whitest states. She reminds us that Black history isAmerican history — and once you know the truth, you can't unknow it. Together, we talk about: * 🧭 The importance of preserving stories that are often erased * 📚 The groundbreaking legacy of Harriet Wilson, the first Black woman to publish a novel in English * 🧠 Why beliefs are harder to change than policies — and how deep-seated bias still shapes resistance to truth * 🧬 Her organization's powerful Juneteenth program and how descendants of both enslaved people and presidents are reclaiming history together * 💃🏾 The role of joy, dancing, and family stories in our collective healing JerriAnne's work is a powerful reminder that preserving and sharing our history isn't just about the past — it's how we shape our future. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: 📍 Why Black history matters everywhere — even in places you wouldn't expect 📍 How one woman's novel shifted a state's sense of place and belonging 📍 Why cultural erasure is intentional — and how we resist it 📍 The healing power of community, movement, and remembering who we are 📍 How the Black Heritage Trail is using tech, tours, and truth-telling to shift minds and hearts ✨ Listen in to be inspired, grounded, and reminded that we've survived worse. And they're not going to take our joy. 🖤 Visit the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire: blackheritagetrailnh.org [https://blackheritagetrailnh.org/] --- Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an author and ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author [https://www.audible.com/pd/Get-Over-I-Got-It-Audiobook/1400214300], speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses [https://www.linkedin.com/learning/instructors/elayne-fluker]have been attended by more than 70,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne. [https://elaynefluker.as.me/elaynefluker-discovery-call]

824: Written in the Waters Author Tara Roberts on Diving into History, Discovering Your Purpose & Following the Unconventional Path

What an absolute JOY it was to reconnect with my sister-friend and former colleague from our Essence magazine days, the brilliant storyteller and explorer Tara Roberts! 🧡 Tara is someone I've admired for decades—not only for her sharp editorial mind and deep heart, but also for her fearless pursuit of meaningful storytelling. And in this conversation, we dive (pun intended!) into her latest transformational journey—literally and spiritually—as a National Geographic Explorer and author of the gorgeous memoir "Written in the Waters." Tara takes us behind the scenes of how a visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture changed everything. What began as a passing curiosity about a photo of Black women in wetsuits turned into a multi-year, purpose-driven adventure uncovering the stories of sunken slave ships and the descendants connected to them. In this episode, Tara opens up about: * How following a spark of curiosity led her to scuba diving and uncovering buried Black history * What it means to say a "heartfelt yes" even when the path is uncertain * Navigating shame, solitude, and the unconventional path as a woman and an explorer * Why reclaiming history through storytelling is an act of healing, not just remembrance This is one of those conversations that will live in your heart. Whether you're questioning what's next or just need permission to follow your own light—Tara's story is a beautiful reminder that your soul already knows the way. 📘 Grab Tara's book: Written in the Waters: A Memoir of History, Home and Belonging [https://www.tararoberts.me/written-in-the-waters] — available wherever books are sold. 📲 Connect with Tara on Instagram: @tararoberts_explorer [https://www.instagram.com/tararoberts_explorer] -- Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author [https://www.audible.com/pd/Get-Over-I-Got-It-Audiobook/1400214300], speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses [https://www.linkedin.com/learning/instructors/elayne-fluker]have been attended by more than 70,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne. [https://elaynefluker.as.me/elaynefluker-discovery-call]