Notes From The Not There Yet

The Mirror in the Sky | Lou Desborough: Astrology, Identity & The Midlife Pivot

In this episode, we talk to Lou Desborough, founder of Cosmic Kinship, about her transition from a 25-year career in design to becoming a professional astrologer. Lou shares the raw reality of navigating the "messy middle" - balancing the grief of losing a parent with the demands of motherhood and the internal "chatter" that tells us we aren't good enough to pivot. We explore astrology as "The Mirror in the Sky" - a language for self-understanding that helps us navigate identity shifts and understand the "default settings" of those we love. This episode is for you if: * You feel like your life looks "perfect on paper" but feels unsettled underneath. * You are navigating a career pivot or a "beginner" phase in midlife. * You are curious about how ancient tools can provide modern clarity. Episode Show Notes Lou Desborough joins Bethany to discuss the "slow eroding" of her identity in her early 40s and how astrology provided the language she needed to rebuild. From the grit of the design industry to the depth of birth charts, Lou explores how we can use our "blueprint" to find balance and grace in the juggle of adulthood. Themes Explored: The "Sliding Doors" of Career: Navigating the path from Art School to professional astrology. Grief as a Catalyst: How the vulnerability of a parent's illness puts professional "deadlines" into perspective. The Perfectionism Trap: Moving from "1000% effort" to the mantra of "done is better than perfect". Parenting without a Manual: Using astrology to recognize the innate nature of our children rather than trying to change them. Key takeaways * Astrology is a Language, Not a Sentence: It reflects our potential and patterns; it doesn't dictate a fixed destiny. * The Cosmos as a Mirror: Planetary movements reflect our internal state, offering a way to look inward. Done is * Better than Perfect: In transitions, the need for 1000% perfection can be a shackle; sometimes, simply "doing" is the breakthrough. * Accepting the Juggle: It’s okay to run two careers side-by-side while you build your dream; the "limbo" is part of the process. If this conversation resonates, share it with someone navigating their own messy middle. Connect with Lou Desborough:Website: cosmickinship.com [https://www.cosmickinship.com/]Instagram: @cosmic__kinship [https://www.instagram.com/cosmic__kinship/]Connect with The Not There Yet Project:Subscribe to our the newsletter [https://notthereyetproject.co.uk/pages/subscribe-the-not-yets-newsletter]Read the Reflections on Substack. [https://thenotthereyetproject.substack.com/]Follow on Instagram: @TheNotThereYetProject [https://www.instagram.com/notthereyetproject/]

Finding Your 'Positive Mindful Attitude' with Carla Bentele

Episode Summary Carla Bentele, designer and founder of All About Me [https://all-about-me.co/], shares her journey from navigating redundancy in the London fashion world to reclaiming her creativity in the North. We explore the reality of losing a professional identity you loved, the "deathbed" perspective that helped her take a leap, and how she built a brand rooted in mindfulness and community. Show Notes: An honest conversation about ambition, creativity, and learning to build a life that actually fits who you are. Themes Explored: * Redundancy and Identity: What happens when the job you built your life around disappears. * The "Deathbed" Perspective: Using a long-term view to make brave short-term decisions. * Starting Again: The reality of launching a business while navigating motherhood and a new area. * Manifestation: How vision boards and belief can guide your next chapter. If this conversation resonates, share it with someone navigating their own messy middle.

Emma Husband on Starting Again at 35 and Money Confidence

Episode Description Emma Husband [https://partnership.sjp.co.uk/partner/emmahusband] is a Financial Planner, business owner and mum - but her story didn’t begin with a clear plan. In this conversation, Emma shares what it looked like to spend years feeling quietly unfulfilled, to question everything during maternity leave, and to retrain as a financial adviser in her mid-30s while navigating grief, motherhood and self-doubt. We also explore her relationship with money - how it shaped her confidence, why so many women feel “behind”, and what it means to finally feel in control of your finances. It’s a conversation about identity, money, and slowly realising that nothing has gone wrong. This episode is for anyone who feels like they should have figured things out by now… but hasn’t. Show Notes Emma Husband, Financial Planner and Founder, shares her journey from a stable corporate career in health insurance to retraining as a financial advisor in her mid-30s. What began as a sense that something wasn’t quite right grew into a life-changing shift - shaped by motherhood, grief, and a desire to build a life (and career) that actually fit. Themes explored: * Feeling “behind” in your 30s (career + money) * The dissatisfaction with a life that looks fine * Motherhood as a catalyst for change * Starting again as a financial adviser * Grief, pressure and rebuilding identity * Women, money and financial confidence * Redefining success on your own terms If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need the reminder that they’re not behind - just in the middle of things. Key takeaways * Feeling behind - in life or money - doesn’t mean you’ve failed * You don’t need a perfect financial plan to start again * Money confidence is learned, not something you’re born with * Growth rarely happens in clean, controlled conditions * You’re allowed to change direction, even if your life looks “fine” * Nothing has gone wrong — you’re just still figuring things out Find out more or share your story [https://notthereyetproject.co.uk/]. Not lost, not arrived, just not there yet.

“I’ve Always Felt Like the Wrong Age” - Kimberley Ford on Starting Again at 40

Episode Description Kimberley Ford has rebuilt her life more than once. From finance to acting, from acting to directing, and eventually founding her own filmmaking business - her path hasn’t followed a straight line. But underneath all of it is a feeling many people quietly carry: being the wrong age. Too early. Too late. Too old to start again. Too young to be taken seriously. In this conversation, we explore identity, reinvention, and what it means to move forward even when your timing doesn’t seem to make sense on paper. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt behind, out of place, or unsure if it’s too late to begin again. Show notes Kimberley Ford’s journey is one of starting again - not once, but multiple times. From leaving a stable career in finance, to navigating the uncertainty of acting, to returning to education in her late 30s and building a business that feels aligned. At the centre of it all is a feeling many people recognise: being the “wrong age.” This conversation explores how that feeling doesn’t mean you’re behind - it might mean you’re still in the middle of things. THEMES EXPLORED * Feeling like the wrong age at different stages of life * Leaving stability to follow something uncertain * Starting again in your 30s and 40s * Navigating self-doubt and not feeling like you belong * Returning to education later in life * Redefining success beyond external expectations * Choosing alignment over societal timelines If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need reminding that they’re not behind - they’re just in the middle of things. Key takeaways * Feeling like the wrong age doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path * You don’t waste experience — you build from it * Confidence is often something you grow into, not something you start with * There is no single timeline for a life that feels right * Starting again doesn’t mean going backwards * Nothing has gone wrong — you’re still in it Links referenced in this episode: * Kollab Kreate [https://www.kollabkreate.com/] * Kollab Kreate YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/@KollabKreate01] * Not There Yet Project [https://notthereyetproject.co.uk/] * ‘Unseen Strength’ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXSjSJcMV4E&t=14s] - Won ‘Northern Excellence in Directing’ award at WomenX Film Festival * Grey Area [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4XmRzfACxU&list=PLsDxlkYUsf3q5iHvAoIZk1WY-b27jtcRp&index=2] (First Ever Short Film Directed at University) won Best film award * Escort - Rime Suspex Music Video [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqkdNzfV2Xc] Companies mentioned in this episode: * Kollab Kreate * Aldi * L'Oreal * Iceland * Empower * UCLan

“I Don’t Want That Life”: Jordan Stachini on Choosing Differently

Episode Summary Jordan Stachini never planned to run a marketing agency. In fact, as she puts it: “Complete accidental business owner - it was never ever meant to be the plan.” Today she runs Co&Co, a growing Manchester marketing agency. But the real story behind the business isn’t about strategy or scaling. It’s about the moment many adults quietly experience - when the life you assumed you would live suddenly stops feeling right. In this conversation we explore: * Leaving a long-term relationship when your futures no longer match * Burnout, therapy, confidence and rebuilding yourself * Choosing to live child-free despite social expectations * Financial independence and personal freedom * Gender, masculinity and the way we talk about equality * Why she refuses to build a huge agency * What great marketing looks like today, AI and overhype This episode is for anyone who has ever thought: “Wait… what if I actually want something different?” Show notes Jordan Stachini describes herself as an accidental business owner. But the story behind her marketing agency Co&Co is really a story about something deeper - learning to listen to yourself when the life you thought you wanted starts to feel wrong. In this conversation Jordan speaks candidly about the hardest decisions she’s made: leaving a relationship, recovering from burnout, setting boundaries as a business owner and choosing a life without children. What emerges is a story about independence, honesty and the courage to design a life that genuinely fits you. THEMES EXPLORED * The accidental path to building a marketing agency * Why Jordan refuses to grow her business beyond 10 people * Saying no to clients and opportunities that don’t align * Leadership and the expectations founders create * Burnout and therapy * Leaving a long-term relationship when your futures diverge * Living child-free by choice * Financial independence and freedom of choice * Gender, masculinity and the International Women’s Day debate * Why women should never treat career as optional If this conversation resonates - or challenges something you thought you believed - share it with someone navigating their own messy middle. Key Takeaways * Sometimes the most honest sentence in adulthood is: “I don’t want that life.” * Independence gives you something many people underestimate: choice. * Growth doesn’t always mean building something bigger. Sometimes it means building something that fits. * The hardest decisions in life are often the ones that make you most honest with yourself. * Success on paper doesn’t solve the deeper questions about how you want to live. * Becoming who you are often means letting go of the version of life you once imagined.