Say This Not That

The Way You Talk to Yourself Is Costing You More Than You Think

In this episode of Say This, Not That, workplace wellbeing expert and keynote speaker Dilan Gomih shares powerful insights on the connection between movement, mindset, and performance. Drawing from her experience on a high-pressure Wall Street trading floor, Dilan explains how shifting her perspective on fitness—from a “nice-to-have” to a “must-have”—completely transformed how she showed up in her career and life. Her core philosophy, “movement makes your mind better,” reframes exercise as a mental performance tool rather than just a physical outcome. The conversation dives deep into the language we use with ourselves and others. Dilan breaks down harmful phrases like “I should” and “why don’t you just…,” revealing how they create pressure, shame, and oversimplification. Instead, she offers practical mindset shifts like embracing the word “yet,” practicing intentional self-talk, and reframing challenges as opportunities with “I get to.” These small but powerful language changes can dramatically impact confidence, resilience, and personal growth. Beyond tactics, this episode explores a deeper philosophy of living—one rooted in intentionality, self-awareness, and choosing joy. Dilan shares how her upbringing, personal experiences, and professional journey shaped her ability to filter external noise, trust her instincts, and make decisions without regret. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or overly critical of yourself, this conversation offers a refreshing and actionable perspective on how to think, move, and live better.

What People Get Wrong About Supporting Someone Who’s Dying

When someone you care about is suffering, grieving, or facing the end of life, finding the “right” words can feel impossible. In this episode of Say This, Not That, palliative care nurse practitioner Regan Marooney shares what she has learned from years spent sitting beside patients and families during life’s hardest moments—and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply be present. Regan works in palliative care at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, helping patients manage pain, navigate complex medical decisions, and face the emotional realities of serious illness. In this conversation, she explains the often-misunderstood difference between hospice and palliative care, what “quality of life” really means in medicine, and the communication framework clinicians use when responding to grief, fear, and anger. Along the way, Regan shares deeply personal stories from the hospital—moments of heartbreak, humanity, humor, and profound love. She also reveals common phrases people say that unintentionally make things worse, including one simple word she wishes we could eliminate entirely. If you've ever struggled with what to say when someone is hurting, this conversation offers compassionate, practical guidance on how to show up when it matters most.

Why Difficult Conversations Feel Terrifying

Difficult conversations are something most of us try to avoid—but according to negotiation expert Bob Bordone, avoiding conflict often creates even bigger problems. In this episode, Bob shares the concept of conflict resilience: the ability to stay present during uncomfortable disagreements while still communicating effectively and listening with curiosity. Drawing on decades of experience teaching negotiation and mediation, he explains why developing this skill is essential for stronger relationships, better leadership, and more productive conversations. Bob dives into the psychology behind why people struggle to say the right thing in tense situations. From the brain’s natural fight-or-flight response to the power of neuroplasticity, he explains how our communication habits are formed—and how we can retrain our brains to respond differently. The conversation also explores practical strategies for navigating tough moments, including practicing difficult conversations out loud and using physical exercises to clarify competing thoughts before entering a discussion. The episode also highlights the importance of deep listening and curiosity during disagreements. Rather than focusing only on winning arguments or reaching immediate resolution, Bob explains how meaningful engagement in conflict can actually strengthen relationships and open the door to deeper understanding—even when people ultimately disagree. If you’ve ever struggled to find the right words in a difficult moment, this conversation offers practical insights into communicating with more clarity, empathy, and confidence. conflict resolution difficult conversations communication skills negotiation skills conflict management how to handle conflict deep listening active listening hard conversations relationship communication

The subtle mistakes that create relational distance | Say This Not That

What do you say when someone you care about is going through something painful, and you have no idea how to respond? In this inaugural episode, Kristen Leone sits down with her close friend Katie O’Malley to unpack one of life’s most uncomfortable but important challenges: showing up for others in difficult moments. From losing a loved one to illness, job loss, and everyday struggles, this conversation dives into the real impact words can have—both good and bad. Sharing deeply, deeply personal stories, Kristen and Katie explore the difference between connection and unintended harm. Why do phrases like “everything happens for a reason” fall flat? What actually helps someone feel supported? And how can you avoid putting pressure on someone when they’re already overwhelmed? This episode introduces simple but powerful frameworks—like choosing presence over perfection, avoiding curiosity-driven questions, and understanding emotional “rings” of support. Beyond words, this discussion highlights the often-overlooked power of action. Sometimes the most meaningful support doesn’t come from what you say—but what you do. Whether it’s sending a simple text, dropping off a meal, or just showing up without expectations, you’ll walk away with practical, usable ways to better support the people in your life. If you’ve ever hesitated to reach out because you didn’t know what to say, this episode is for you. Chapters & Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 00:00:42 – Welcome  00:02:06 – Learning the Hard Way: What Not to Say 00:10:05 – Awareness First: Why Saying Something Matters 00:18:23 – Actions Over Words: Showing Up Without Asking 00:26:17 – Curiosity vs. Compassion: Asking Better Questions 00:33:00 – Why We Rely on Scripts (and How to Change Them) 00:41:00 – Navigating Awkward or Unexpected Conversations 00:48:30 – The Balance Between Presence and Pressure 00:51:15 – Final Reflections & Key Mindset Shifts 00:52:30 – Closing Thoughts & Outro Keywords GriefEmpathySupportComfortCommunicationConnectionLossHealingPresenceCompassionListeningBoundariesAwarenessKindnessRelationshipsConversationEmotionsVulnerabilityUnderstandingCareSupporting