The ABGW Method®: Calm First. Reality First. Then Change.™

Mr Darcy, Workplace Anxiety and the Exhaustion of Being the Capable One

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] You can be excellent at your job and still be running on fumes. We talk about the kind of competence that gets applauded, the calm voice, the quick fixes, the “no problem” email, and how that same capability can quietly turn into a costume that drains your health. I introduce Frederica, a high-performing interior designer who manages people, holds pressure, and keeps everything moving while feeling depleted in a way sleep cannot touch. Together we name the workplace trap: the more capable you seem, the less anyone checks whether you are coping. We also look at the nervous system side of work stress and workplace anxiety, the old rulebook that says don’t disappoint, don’t need too much, don’t be difficult, and how those rules can feel logical even when they are exhausting. You’ll hear why praise does not convince your body that the load is sustainable, and how the signs show up anyway: jaw tension, shallow breathing, that stomach drop when another message lands, and the 2am “complaint department” in your brain. Then we shift the goal from being endlessly reliable to being sustainably capable, professional without self-abandonment. We end with practical, low-drama tools you can use today: pause before the automatic yes, name the rule you feel you “must” follow, loosen it by one notch, and try one clean boundary sentence that does not apologise for your existence. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a capable friend who is carrying too much, and leave a review so more people can find support, what’s the old rule you’re ready to rewrite? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Join the HerGuru WhatsApp Channel: https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite [https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychologica...

The Stupid Idea of Perfection: Why Life Isn't a Maths Exam

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] Perfection is supposed to make us feel confident, but it often does the opposite: it keeps us stuck, second-guessing messages we already sent and replaying moments we cannot change. We dig into why that happens, why “perfect” is an imaginary finish line, and why chasing it can quietly amplify work stress, anxiety, procrastination, and imposter syndrome. If you’ve ever felt like life is one long performance review, you’re going to recognise yourself here.  We share a real moment from behind the mic, including the truth about recording a first episode 31 times, and we ask the uncomfortable question underneath it: was that about making something better, or trying to prove something? From there, we dismantle the belief that perfection equals worthiness. We explore “moving goalposts,” borrowed self-esteem, and the exhausting habit of turning dinner, rest, relationships, and work into constant assessments. We also use a simple reality check from the natural world: growth and adaptation are normal, perfection is not.  Then we shift into a calmer, more workable framework: growth. Confidence doesn’t arrive first; evidence arrives first, and confidence catches up as you take imperfect action and recover from mistakes. You’ll leave with practical experiments you can try today, including leaving one thing at good enough, doing an unexpected act of kindness, and swapping “Was I good enough?” for “What did I learn?”  If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s stuck in the perfection loop, and leave a review so more people can find it. Where is perfection stealing your time right now? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Join the HerGuru WhatsApp Channel: https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite [https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychologica...

Fear-Based Leadership at Work: What Voldemort Can Teach Us About Ego, Power and the Price of Fear

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] A room can feel fine one second and unsafe the next, all because one person walks in. We’ve both felt that sudden shift: conversations stop, shoulders rise, and everyone starts editing themselves in real time. We dig into what’s really happening when a manager uses fear to control a meeting, and why that kind of leadership gets mistaken for “respect” even as it erodes confidence across the team. We also get practical about the body side of work stress and anxiety. Your nervous system is built to scan for patterns and ask “Am I safe?” long before your logical mind catches up. That’s why unpredictable criticism can trigger overthinking, rehearsing, and endless email rewrites. Rather than treating overthinking like a personality flaw, we frame it as a protective response to an environment that has taught you mistakes come with a heavy cost. Then we zoom the lens out. Instead of automatically asking “What’s wrong with me?”, we practise asking “What pattern am I looking at?” Patterns are evidence, and they help you stop turning someone else’s mood into your identity. We share a simple detective method you can try this week: capture the facts, look for evidence of your part, and collect evidence about the other person’s behaviour too. If you’ve been dealing with a toxic manager, fear-based leadership, or constant meeting anxiety, this is a reset for how you interpret what’s happening and how you protect your confidence. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find Work Stress Anxiety. The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Join the HerGuru WhatsApp Channel: https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite [https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychologica...

The Resilience Trumpet And The Office Sandwich

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] Nice people can still be unsafe people. That sounds harsh until you’ve lived the quiet version of workplace stress: the meetings where everyone speaks calmly, the smiles that don’t match the outcomes, the slow shift in access and warmth that leaves you tense, over-responsible, and second-guessing your own judgement. I’m Cheryl Parris, and I’m naming the uncomfortable truth that costs so many of us time, confidence, and career energy: nice is not the same as safe.  We go deeper into discernment and psychological safety at work, especially for high-functioning women who’ve been trained to “be reasonable” no matter what it does to their body. I break down what safety actually looks like in day-to-day behaviour: consistent fairness, clear expectations, real support, respect for your role, and a pattern that steadies your nervous system instead of shrinking it. We also talk about why resilience becomes dangerous when it turns into self-abandonment.  You’ll get practical tools you can use immediately: keeping grounded notes (date, time, what changed, impact, response), spotting patterns across relationships, support, roles, and change, and a simple micro-step I call the three-column people map: warmth, pressure, evidence. The goal is not to label anyone a villain, but to decide who gets access to your honesty, your trust, and your career decisions based on reality, not performance.  If this helped you see your workplace more clearly, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s been doubting themselves, and leave a review so more people can find Work Stress Anxiety. The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Join the HerGuru WhatsApp Channel: https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite [https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychologica...

When New Management Changes the Weather- Work Stress

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] When management changes, your body often knows before your mind does—and that anxiety is valid. In this episode, Cheryl explores how women leaders pick up on subtle workplace shifts, why nervous system Awareness matters during transitions, and practical stress-recovery strategies for navigating uncertainty without burning out. Because your job doesn't have to feel like constant weather changes. Cheryl explores the subtle yet significant shifts that can occur in the workplace following management changes.  She invites listeners to reflect on how their bodies often sense these changes before their minds can articulate them, highlighting the importance of acknowledging these feelings rather than dismissing them as overreactions. Cheryl introduces the concept of workplace seasons, explaining how management transitions can alter the emotional climate, affecting relationships, expectations, and overall well-being.  She emphasises that while not all changes are detrimental, they can lead to self-doubt and confusion for high-functioning individuals who often overlook their instincts.  Through relatable anecdotes, Cheryl illustrates how the pressure to maintain a facade of professionalism can hinder our ability to recognise and respond to these shifts. Listeners will be guided to identify specific changes in their work environment by using the HSE management standards as a framework. Cheryl encourages a proactive approach to understanding one's feelings, advocating for clarity and calm as vital tools in navigating workplace dynamics.  This episode serves as a reminder that recognising the difference between relief and restoration is crucial in fostering resilience and making informed choices. Join us for this enlightening discussion that empowers you to trust your instincts and embrace the journey of self-discovery amidst the complexities of work stress and anxiety. The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Join the HerGuru WhatsApp Channel: https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite [https://go.workstressanxiety.com/whatsappinvite] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychologica...