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Whose Game Are You Actually Playing? Designing a Life of Your Own with Thomas Edwards Jr.
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Most of us have been winning at games we never agreed to play. The rules came from our parents, our culture, our industry, and somewhere along the way, finishing first in someone else's race started to feel a lot like winning. This episode asks the question that stops most high achievers mid-scroll: whose game are you actually playing? Host Sana sits down with Thomas Edwards Jr., transformational coach, founder of The Professional Wingman, and creator of The 1up Effect. After becoming one of the most recognized relationship coaches in the world, with features in the Wall Street Journal, GQ, the New York Times, and on the Steve Harvey Show, Thomas hit a wall of success that did not translate into happiness. What pulled him back was video games, and the realization that life, like a great game, can be designed. Inside, he shares his story, his framework, and the daily practices that turn purpose into something you actually live, not chase. ABOUT THE GUEST: Thomas Edwards Jr. is a transformational coach, speaker, and the creator of The 1up Effect, a framework that applies the principles of game design to personal transformation. He is the founder of The Professional Wingman, where his work contributed to nearly 400 marriages and engagements. His insights have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Men's Health, GQ, the New York Times, on MTV, ABC, and the Steve Harvey Show, among nearly a thousand other outlets. He helps high achievers design lives where success and happiness can finally coexist. KEY TAKEAWAYS: * Anyone can design their own game of life, but not everyone will. Circumstances shape how much you can design, never whether you can. * If you are successful but not happy, there is a good chance you are playing someone else's game. Real games are built to make you better while you enjoy the process. * We do not choose the difficulty setting at birth. Parents, schools, media, and culture pick it up for us. The shift to adulthood is realizing you finally hold the controller. * The 1up Effect is built on four worlds: purpose, play, passion, and performance. Inside purpose, three levels matter most: physical fitness, mental fitness, and spiritual fitness. * Sustainable change is not dramatic. Daily actions become habits, habits become how you live, and how you live becomes who you are. Sixty, ninety, sometimes a hundred and eighty days. Sometimes a year. * Stop chasing the win. Play the game. Losing only exists when you stop playing, and winning has a way of showing up as a byproduct of the right kind of effort. CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: * Personal site: https://www.thomasedwardsjr.com [https://www.thomasedwardsjr.com] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomashedwardsjr [https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomashedwardsjr] * The Professional Wingman: https://www.theprofessionalwingman.com [https://www.theprofessionalwingman.com] * Book: The 1up Effect: Live Life Like You Found Another One [https://the1upeffect.com/] by Thomas Edwards Jr. EPISODE CHAPTERS: [00:00] The Question That Stops You Mid-Scroll — whose game are you actually playing [03:30] Meet Thomas Edwards Jr. — wingman, gamer, coach, builder of new rules [09:00] Can Everyone Design Their Life? — circumstances, control, and resourcefulness [13:00] The Empty Win — when 400 marriages and the Steve Harvey Show still leave you hollow [15:00] The Video Game Awakening — why a 1Up changed everything [17:30] We Did Not Choose the Difficulty — and why most adults still play on the wrong setting [23:00] Purpose Is to Exist — and the three levels of fitness that maximize it [28:00] Slow Is Sustainable — burning out vs. building daily habits that hold [31:30] Play, Then Win — the fourth principle and why losing does not exist [35:00] Where to Find Thomas and the Book [36:30] Closing Reflection — success without authorship is not winning 🎙️ Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? 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