I Suck (at Smalltalk)

I confess.🫣 I haven’t been sharing my articles with you lately. 😅 I’ve been feeling shy about popping into your inbox, worried my updates might be boring. 😆 What a drama queen!!! 😂 I’ve been writing, though! A LOT. I’m officially a writer now. (NOW?! Yep. Now lang.) Honestly, it’s the first time I’m really seeing myself as a writer. Even though my CV has: copywriter, speechwriter, ghostwriter… Now’s the first time I have the nerve to call myself a writer. (Imposter Syndrome is my bestie.) I’ve always dreamed of starting a travel blog.✈️ In facttt, I did once: https://findingmyjaninay.wordpress.com/ But now, I probably never will… … Because I’m way too busy contributing awesome food and culture articles to Devour Tours! Woot woot! 🎉 It’s the same company I do these pintxos tours [https://devourtours.com/tours/san-sebastian-ultimate-pintxos-wine-tour/?tap_a=108657-c78718&tap_s=5004963-4a2e53] for. Here’s a taste of what I’ve been working on: * Semana Grande [https://devourtours.com/blog/semana-grande-in-san-sebastian/]: The grand festival that we just celebrated last week. [https://devourtours.com/blog/semana-grande-in-san-sebastian/] * Euskal Jaiak [https://devourtours.com/blog/euskal-jaiak/]: The fiesta we’re celebrating next week. [https://devourtours.com/blog/euskal-jaiak/] (It’s summer, ok? Give us a break! Haha!) * Spanish Piquillo Peppers [https://devourtours.com/blog/spanish-piquillo-peppers/]: Everything you need to know. [https://devourtours.com/blog/spanish-piquillo-peppers/] * Denominación de Origen Seal: This one isn’t posted yet! I’m an actual paid freelance travel writer now. WHAT?! 🙌 And while it does mean less time for my own travel articles, it’s a dream come true. A Freelance UX and SEO Writer 🤓 I also have other UX and SEO website writing projects for tech brands. So if you know anyone needing a strategic writer, my hand is up! 🙋‍♀️ Jumping into the freelance life was a reluctant leap. I started as a burnt out community cheerleader [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/p/reflections-of-a-community-manager]. Buttt, things are looking up! Projects are coming in from past colleagues, and I haven’t even started actively selling myself yet.😮‍💨 It feels good, even though I have my freak-out moments. Your Prize for Reading This Far Thank you for sticking with me through this update. Here’s your reward: I’m heading to Manila! 🇵🇭 Are you readyyy (for karaokeee)? I’ll be there in October and might stick around until December. So let’s meet up! I’m planning to spend more time outside Manila, though, in quieter spots like Baguio and Taal. Big cities scare me now (lol), so if you’re up for a visit, I’d love to see you.♥️ Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. Dayummm I’ve officially had this blog for over a year. Dayummm. Thanks for being here, still. It has been quite a year for me and this has been a healthy outlet. I appreciate you and your support.😘 👀 Here’s one of the articles I wrote here in secret: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com [https://janinayramirez.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Writing about these life adventures on the eve of Mikel’s birthday. Fitting! He’s a big source of motivation to move my ass and make memories. We only live once. He turns 36 this Monday, July 22.💕 My First Van Adventure Even before the surf-obsessed Basque stranger I met in Siargao [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/139698772/a-night-a-chance-encounter-in-siargao] invited me to go on a trip on his van, I was already eyeing the tiny house movement [https://www.tinyhomebuilders.com/help/tiny-house-movement]. My interest in small-space living began during a three-month stint in Tokyo, where I lived in a shoebox of about sixteen square meters. My bathroom was so tiny that I had one shared faucet—swing left to use it for the sink or right to fill the bathtub.😅 The Japanese are masters at maximizing limited space, and I loved exploring stores (like the huge Muji in Ginza!) to amuse myself with adorable space-saving household items. Kawaii! Tiny Homes and Dreams Even after Japan, I would binge-watch shows like Tiny House Nation, where talented builders crafted small homes and dual-purpose furniture. I would also watch Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up, which inspired me to let go of anything that doesn’t spark joy and to defeat the hoarder within.👹 So when Mikel sent me a video of him renovating an old vegetable delivery van and inviting me to go on a road trip through Northern Spain, I felt a mix of curiosity and WTF.😆 Rollin’ into Cantabria After stuffing myself with amazing San Sebastian grub and going on a day trip along the French coast, Mikel (and his limited vacation days) decided it was time for our first “van life” adventure together. Our first stop was Cantabria, a province about an hour and a half away. Mikel has friends who own the cleanest, coziest hostel and surf school in Langre [https://haveanicedaysurfhostel.com/], who graciously allowed us to use their toilet and shower.😬 (Thank goodness!) Sleeping in the van turned out to be quite comfortable. I even got used to brushing my teeth without running water.🦷 We were constantly surrounded by fields, cows, and stunning sea views. Living in the van requires efficiency, even when you’re traveling for just a few days. Everything has its place. Cooking has to be quick and mess-free. And it’s a must to find a flat parking spot when it’s time to sleep. You’ll feel the discomfort even with the smallest incline! I discovered a brand new way to explore the world. And I liked it.😊 Language Barriers and Alone Time The language barrier was a challenge. Mikel spoke some English, but not fluidly, and my Spanish was muy, muyyy poquito. I’d space out and get lost in my own thoughts when having lunch with friends. It might have been what I needed: alone time in an uncomplicated alien world to process my thoughts and recharge. I was still recovering from the heartbreaking loss of our political campaign for Bam Aquino [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/137074567/career-challenge-lead-a-team-to-shape-a-senators-voice-for-former-senator-bam-aquino]. The solitude allowed me to disconnect and reflect on past, present, and future. Do I go back home and accept a great job offer? Or do I step out of my comfort zone and try to make it in the big, wide world? The decision can wait. I can chill and explore Asturias first. After a few days in Cantabria, Mikel decided to cut his surf time short and head to Asturias. He was thoughtful enough to realize that 5 days in a van + going back and forth the same surf spots + rainy weather ≠ the best way to spend my vacation… Off to explore Asturias! We visited the romantic city of Oviedo, which was featured in the movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona".😜 Driving down the Asturian highway, I kept seeing signs to Covadonga, a place I heard a whole lot about in my high school. (If you’re a Povedan like me, you know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!) I told Mikel about it and he immediately swerved to catch the exit. To this day, I appreciate how open he is to spontaneous travel stops that take us wayyy too far off our calculated route.🤣 We miss van trips. We went on countless more van trips. We hiked up and rolled down Dune du Pilat [https://ladunedupilat.com/]. We sipped fancy wine by the forest and played cards with headlamps on. We escaped to beaches and prayed for the closest bar to open so we could go to the toilet…🤣 Our longest van trip was 10 days, driving all the way to Portugal then dotting through the coast up to Galicia, where we dipped into hot springs and dined in one of the most affordable Michelin starred restaurants in Europe. The one I look back on with the most cariño was the Pyrenees.❤️ I think it’s ‘cause it was the trip with the most number of friends joining in the fun, the barbecues, the hikes, the views (and maybe even some shrooms). The Road Ahead The disconnection from modern comforts, sleeping in nature, and exploring off-the-beaten-path locations are just a few lines from the long list of things I love about escaping in a mobile home. I don’t at all regret swapping it for a car. But the sea breeze says it’s time for a change once again. Mikel has begun the search and shitload of YouTube research to find the perfect van for the next phase. I’m so excited! Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s writing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com [https://janinayramirez.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

So… After writing this article, I watched a documentary on child labor in Philippine gold mining [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpBIgkfvZw0]. It put things in perspective and my problems now feel so puny. If you can, please take the time to watch it. 💕 Public speaking has always been a gut-twisting source of cringe. Around strangers, self-consciousness and the pressure to sound articulate bubble up to a boil then leave me and my nerves in shambles. The aftereffects include a wealth of new “why’d I say that” memories that make me go “D’oh!” at random times—while washing dishes, crossing the street, drinking with friends…😖 “D’oh! Why’d I say thaaat?!” It’s why I started the podcast I Suck at Smalltalk [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/s/i-suck-at-smalltalk]. It's also one of the darker reasons for turning to writing, which serves as a comfort zone because it allows me the time to find the perfect words. Strangely enough, I’m less self-conscious speaking broken Spanish than fluent English. Not being a native Spanish speaker is the perfect excuse for my lack of eloquence—a card I can’t pull in English. I'm a writer, for crying out loud!😩 ICYDK, the two official languages of the Philippines are Filipino and English. Shutting Down My Inner Critic “Just shut up, Janine.” This ultra-annoying and mababaw (meaning shallow) rant about my long and winding public speaking struggle is brought to you by my recent new side hustle: being a legitimate tour guide in San Sebastian. (I've only completed 2.5 official tours for an agency and I’ve already spiraled into self-loathing. WTF?!) My first tour solo was a tough one. Everything seemed to go wrong, from bars closing at odd times to my brain short-circuiting. I regretted words as soon as they spilled out of my mouth. Geez! I’m getting flashbacks of the tour followed by awkward moments as a Myx VJ and events host [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/137074567/career-challenge-find-the-confidence-to-speak-as-a-myx-vj].🤪 Time to whack myself with the cringe-stick! I also remember working in sales, interviewing and pitching to executives. And the time I had to take the microphone in a radio show with former senator Bam Aquino because his usual co-host was out… My goodness! There are too many embarrassing public speaking moments haunting me from my memory bank. 👻 Social anxiety is real. 😮‍💨 I cling ever-so-tightly to the kind words of those who believe in me and see my potential. 🥰 Eskerrikasko to Tita Bettina and Tito Jojo, who cheered for my touring skills when they came to Donostia to get hitched. Gracias to former boss-man Bobby and his lively expat crew who braved the rain to pintxo-hop around the Old Town with me. Special thanks to Osane from Devour Tours for taking a chance on this wannabe-extrovert… I will also cling on to my day job as a content writer. Ha!😅 So what kung barok?! Barok. It's a Filipino word that means "broken" or "unrefined" in the context of speaking. Basically, it's speaking with grammatical errors. 🙊 It doesn’t just describe a sentence, but a person. Not just: “You speak barok-ly.” But: “You are barok.” I've been guilty of judging people based on how they speak and write, which is probably why I punish myself for every grammatical error. But learning a new language has taught me that the manner and form in which someone speaks (grammar, accent, words chosen, etc.) should come a distant second to the ideas they're communicating. There have been companies, teams, and amazing people that have looked passed my lack of eloquence, even my barok-ness, to see the value of my ideas and stories. Why shouldn’t I do the same? Not to say that I’ll stop trying to perfectly shape a message for its audience. It’s what I do; and it’s important work! But in my day-to-day conversations, I hope to consciously look past the manner in which people speak and seek to understand what they are trying to relay. And if you ever think I'm not following through, I'd appreciate you kindly calling me out on it. 🤗 Keep me accountable! Embracing Imperfectionism I didn't realize how many thoughts I had about writing and the struggle to find the perfect words. 👈 That perfectionism has become a debilitating barrier to me putting myself out there. I tend to hide away when I feel like I’m not at my best. But perfectionism can hold us back from evolution. So it’s something I should work on. There are too many amazing stories that need to be told and smile-inducing ideas to share! So here I am kickstarting this blog again. Thanks for your patience, support, subscription, attention, and acceptance of my imperfections.❤️ Whew! Developing a growth mindset [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/141760000/lesson-were-all-in-a-process-of-growth-always] is far easier said than done.🌻 Other Random Updates * I’ve been freelancing since February this year. Currently working with a few clients and my agenda is full (Yay!), but if you know anyone needing a content writer, connect me puh-lease.🙏 * Wrote two articles that I didn’t email to you ‘coz I’ve been in my lonesome cave for the past months (reach out with virtual hugs please kthxbye). Will leave a link below! * Recorded some new short eps for I Suck At Smalltalk, but I’ve no time to upload ‘em! If you haven’t seen or heard these ones yet, I’d appreciate your listen!👇👇👇 Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com [https://janinayramirez.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

I was chatting with my mom and sister about memory loss and fears of dementia. The World Health Organization says there are over 55 million people worldwide with dementia [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/dementia#:~:text=Key%20facts,injuries%20that%20affect%20the%20brain.]. My heart goes out to families that witness their loved one suffer through it. I understand the concern to finding a cure or, at least, ways to mitigate its effects. As if the universe was eavesdropping (It was most likely just the internet?👻), a new podcast episode of The Diary of a CEO by Steven Bartlett [https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiaryOfACEO] featured a neuroscientist talking about BRAIN HEALTH!🧠 Thanks for reading Janine Ramirez! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Since my mom wouldn’t sit through 1.5 hours of brainy banter, I’m summing up the key points here. Haha!🤓 Listen to This! 🎧 Before I spill the beans, I recommend listening to the full podcast. The insights and stories shared by the Dr. Wendy Suzuki [https://www.wendysuzuki.com/] are life-changing.💛 Dr. Wendy is a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology at New York University. With her father having suffered from dementia, her research is deeply personal. She’s known for her groundbreaking work on brain plasticity, studying how our brain forms and retains new memories. Recently, she’s been focusing on how aerobic exercise boosts learning, memory, and cognitive abilities. How to Keep Your Brain Healthy 1. Go out and ‘Move It - Move It’! 🕺💃 Dr. Wendy highlights a study showing that people over 65 who take three or more walks a week reduce their dementia risk by 30%. For the younger crowd, staying active now keeps your brain sharp for longer. I’ll admit it—I groannnnn at exercise 😓, but a sedentary life is a no-no for your brain. Every move you make is like “a bubble bath for your brain”, helping it (literally!) grow and thrive. So, let’s get moving—even if it’s just 3 walks a week. Mom, it’s time to find a dance class and dust off those dancing shoes!😍 Movement equals better decisions, attention, focus, and working memory. What’s the best exercise? Anything that gets your heart pumping, also called aerobic exercise. How often? As much as you can, but even 2-3 times a week will bring benefits. 2. Snooze Your Way to Brain Health 🛌 Another neuroscientist I listened to is obsessed with sleep. Why? Because quality sleep strengthens daily memories through a process called "consolidation." While we sleep is also when the garbage truck comes to clear our brain of the waste and gunk accumulated throughout the day! Sad news! 😞 Alcohol messes with your sleep, preventing deep rest. It ain’t good for us. Those studies saying alcohol in moderation—like wine!—can be healthy are outdated and wrong [https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health]. 😢 DAMMIT! 3. Eat Produce, Not Processed Junk 🥗 Dr. Wendy recommends the Mediterranean diet: colorful, fresh produce is the way to go! Which reminds me, I have to make our salad for lunch! WAH Mikel and I are lucky we both don’t mind eating this salad almost every day. I also feel lucky to have fresh (summer) fruits that I enjoy eating here like… peaches and cherries! 🍑🍒 I used to not like peaches and cherries ‘cause all I knew were canned peaches and maraschino cherries. 😢 Real Friendships Matter 👫 I feel like a broken record 🔂 because I try to mention this as often as I can in conversations… Real-life quality time with people is vital for brain health, longevity, and happiness. Social media isn’t enough! Don’t let it steal time from real-world interactions.📵 It’s so hard, though!!! I still haven’t gone on my digital detox [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/138954942/planning-my-escape], and it looks like my screen time has increased these past months. 😢 I need a hug! Memory: Making Things Stick How's your memory? While listening to the conversation, I could so relate to Steven Bartlett's frustration about forgetting names. They seem to disappear right after introductions. 😳 I'm amazed by people who remember names, dates, events… Like my mom! 💕 Dr. Wendy suggests that Steven's memory for stories might be stronger, and I hope that’s the case for me, too. 😆 While I may not be great with names and dates, I seem to have a knack for remembering stories and key points—after all, I’m able to recall this episode well enough to write it out for you here.😜 Top 4 Memory Boosters * Repetition: Hello, propaganda and historical revisionism. 😩 * Association: Have you heard of the Memory Palace technique? * Novelty: New experiences stick because evolution taught us new things could be dangerous. * Emotional Resonance: Intense feelings lock in memories. Our Frenemy named Anxiety Dr. Wendy has also written a book about anxiety [https://www.wendysuzuki.com/good-anxiety] and they discuss the topic a bit toward the end of the conversation. Apparently, humanity is more anxious than ever. Big surprise!😝 But anxiety had an evolutionary purpose, helping our ancestors stay vigilant and survive in a world full of dangers. A sudden rustle in the bushes could mean the difference between life and death. Those who were more alert and anxious were better at recognizing threats and reacting quickly to them. While we no longer have to worry about saber-toothed tigers, our brains still retain this ancient survival mechanism, manifesting as anxiety in today’s safer, but still challenging and taxing, world. Guess what helps? Taking deep breaths [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5uhGWQSBsJNDFEKz4fByWU?si=I5n3DixRTJyXC8VRFaGgJg]. Also, movement! Just 10 minutes of walking can reduce the anxiety you feel.🤯 (Winner pala talaga ‘tong si exercise… Hassle! 🤭) Time to do a bit of yoga. 😅 Ok, that's it! I think I'll do some yoga now. I actually listened to this episode while walking in Mount Ulia, and it did make me feel better. 💙 At least until I had corned beef for lunch and suffered a terrible food coma. Tsk tsk! 😬 Hence today’s salad!!! 🤣 In case you want to dive into the neuroscience blackhole… I’ll leave you with some more videos I like from Dr. Wendy and another neuroscientist—Dr. Tara Stewart. How to Calm Your Anxiety: The brain-changing benefits of exercise: Dr. Tara Stewart: Stress Leaks Through Skin, Is Contagious & Gives You Belly Fat! If you listened to any of these, let me know.❤️ We can geek out about neuroplasticity together!🤓 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com [https://janinayramirez.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Scroll to the end of the article for Tips to Support Someone in Grief [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/141968125/how-to-support-someone-in-grief]. Aprovechar: to make the most of. That's the verb I'd use to describe my six-month unemployment phase [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/i/136616815/my-unemployment-story]. I dove into a whirlwind of courses, volunteered for various events and organizations, and met countless inspiring individuals. It was a period of intense learning and personal growth, and though it left me a bit spent, I'm incredibly grateful for the experience. I have a conversation with Esther for the podcast; recorded when I was in the throes of job interviews and copy tests. I'll post that soon so you get some insight into the new job [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/p/reflections-of-a-community-manager] I'm starting on Monday. But editing may have to wait!😮‍💨 Pausing projects. Proud of the ten episodes of the podcast. Eleven if you count this quick roundup [https://janinayramirez.substack.com/p/top-3-lessons-from-season-1-and-much] of me speaking solo. (Click here for Spotify! [https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/4v1VqAKAqHb]) TBH, I’m caught between the excitement of new beginnings and the weight of creative projects awaiting my attention. With 35 article ideas neatly penned on my Notion and countless more brewing in my brain, I feel the need to lock myself with my laptop in a cave—ideally with WIFI, sockets, and coffee. Balancing these aspirations with the demands of a full-time job will be a big challenge. Poco a poco, little by little, I'll learn to navigate this new chapter. I hoped this week would give me time to tackle everything I wanted to accomplish before diving into my new role. Also wanted to celebrate with the people I’ve met and everyone I ranted my worries to! But the universe had other plans. Sad news A good friend of Mikel's tragically passed away this Sunday, and we are all shaken. If you have any rituals, prayers, or meditations, please keep him in your thoughts. His name is Jaime.♥️ He was one of the first people I ever met here. He always tried to make everyone feel comfortable and cared for. Always spreading good vibes. I can't imagine the pain his loved ones are going through. I'm just trying to be there for them without getting in the way. Know what I mean? I reached out to a friend and amazing human being who works with people, particularly kids, to develop emotional intelligence. I wanted to get expert advice on how to support people grieving. I’ll share Deiene’s tips in case you ever need them too. How to Support Someone in Grief * Be present and listen. * Loneliness can be tough. Some may need to talk, while others prefer silence. Respect each person's needs. * Acknowledge that you may not understand their pain fully. Let them know you're there to listen and support them, even if you're unsure how. * Offer practical help with tasks like groceries, paperwork, making meals. * If you reach out and they don't respond, assure them they don't need to reply, but continue to show your presence and support. Grief is a personal journey, and everyone experiences it differently. It's important to respect each person's process and offer support in whatever way they need. Avoid These Missteps When Supporting Someone in Grief * Don't impose expectations on their behavior. * Don't shy away from their tears or silence. * Avoid making the situation about yourself. * Refrain from imposing your own methods of coping with grief. * Avoid assuming their beliefs or religion. Gotta channel that empathy and kindness when we're comforting someone who's grieving. Gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable. I wonder… What's helped you through tough times?❤️ On the contrary, what words or actions have been a total flop?😤 Hay buhay. (*Sigh* life.) After a period of worry and self-doubt, this tragedy was a wake-up call. It reminded me that the things we stress over aren't always as big as they seem. Give your special peeps an extra tight squeeze today. Sending love your way. There are folks I've been missing like crazy, and I'll be carving out more quality time with them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com [https://janinayramirez.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]