The Angry Therapist Podcast

Re-release: What to Look for When Choosing to Love Someone

17 min ¡ 18. maj 2026
episode Re-release: What to Look for When Choosing to Love Someone cover

Beskrivelse

What should you really look for when choosing someone to love? In this episode, John Kim explores why attraction alone is not enough to build a healthy relationship. He breaks down how instant chemistry can sometimes come from old patterns, why emotional intelligence matters more than intellect, and how self-awareness, consistency, and the ability to create safety are essential in love. John also shares why strong relationships are often built around something bigger than the couple itself, whether that is shared values, purpose, family, creativity, spirituality, or service. This episode is a reminder to look beyond the spark and ask what kind of relationship you are actually building. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 [https://a.co/d/031PzkW4] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

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episode Therapy Thursdays | Dating Apps, Toxic Love & Commitment Issues cover

Therapy Thursdays | Dating Apps, Toxic Love & Commitment Issues

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers your questions about toxic relationships, emotional unavailability, sexting in committed relationships, why it's so hard to leave someone who hurts you, and the difference between being in love and being "in lost." He also shares practical advice on building self-trust, redefining what makes a good day, and what healthy masculinity looks like. Whether you're questioning your relationship, struggling to let go, or trying to build a healthier life, this episode offers honest reflections and practical perspectives to help you move forward. In this episode, John discusses: * What to do if you discover your partner is sexting other people. * How your partner's response after being confronted reveals everything. * The difference between being in love and being "in lost." * Why toxic relationships can feel impossible to leave. * Emotional availability as the foundation of healthy relationships. * Why both partners must do the inner work. * How childhood experiences shape relationship patterns. * One simple mindset shift that can improve your daily life. * Why self-trust matters more than motivation. * John's current definition of what it means to be a man. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

2. juli 202619 min
episode The Love You're Chasing Might Not Be Love cover

The Love You're Chasing Might Not Be Love

What if the love you've been chasing was never meant to stay the same? In this episode, John Kim shares excerpts from his new book, Love Hard on Purpose, and explores how love evolves as we heal. He reflects on the difference between unhealthy, dopamine-driven relationships and the kind of love that challenges us to grow, repair, and become better versions of ourselves. In this episode: • Why love isn't just meant to make us happy, but to help us heal • The difference between healthy love and unhealthy love • How we confuse intensity with intimacy • Why conflict and repair are essential to lasting relationships • The journey from "drug love" to "medicine love" • A personal reflection on the "B-sides" of life that quietly shape who we become If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who could use the reminder that love can be a path to healing. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

I gĂĽr20 min
episode Re-release: Two Life Game Changers cover

Re-release: Two Life Game Changers

In this episode, John Kim shares two practices that have had the biggest impact on his own life and wellbeing. He explains why reducing your everyday fight or flight state and learning to get out of your head can help you move from simply surviving to genuinely thriving. In this episode: • Why subtle fight or flight can quietly shape your everyday life • How designing your lifestyle can help you feel more grounded • The importance of joy, gratitude, friendships, and creative spaces • Practical ways to interrupt negative thought patterns • Why lasting change comes from consistent daily practice, not quick fixes If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who could use the reminder today. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

29. juni 202615 min
episode Re-release: The Race Was Never Real | Notes on Slowing Down Without Falling Behind cover

Re-release: The Race Was Never Real | Notes on Slowing Down Without Falling Behind

What happens when you stop chasing and start listening? In this episode, John shares the personal shifts he's working through after moving to Costa Rica. From learning to surf at 52 to redefining success, he reflects on slowing down, letting go of old patterns, and finding joy in the small moments that make life feel more alive. In this episode: • Why he's learning to approach surfing as a practice instead of a performance • The role of detachment in reducing stress and calming the nervous system • Letting go of FOMO and the pressure to constantly achieve • Challenging the belief that rest must be earned • Redefining what "enough" means beyond money, milestones, and validation • Learning to notice everyday moments of joy, or what he calls “nectar" John also shares reflections on adjusting to life in Costa Rica, embracing a slower pace, and documenting what he calls his "second rebirth." If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who needs it, and join us for the next conversation. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

24. juni 202617 min
episode Re-release: First 5 Dating No’s cover

Re-release: First 5 Dating No’s

Dating can feel exhausting, especially when every first date seems loaded with pressure, expectations, and endless swiping. In this episode, John shares five first-date reminders for navigating modern dating with more confidence, curiosity, and intention. He explores why dating often feels transactional today, how expectations can get in the way of connection, and what it looks like to approach dating without turning every encounter into a search for "the one." In this episode: • Why John believes dating has become low-effort and transactional • The importance of planning and showing intention on a first date • Why "less history, more mystery" can create better conversations • How expectations can sabotage connection • Why you're not looking for your soulmate on a first date • How to handle rejection, disappointment, and bad dates without taking them personally 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

22. juni 202614 min