The Art of Showing Up

CHAPTER 54 - WHEN THEY NOTICE YOUR ABSENCE, NOT YOUR STRUGGLE

29 min · 4. maj 2026
episode CHAPTER 54 - WHEN THEY NOTICE YOUR ABSENCE, NOT YOUR STRUGGLE cover

Beskrivelse

You can be fighting for your life internally… and the only thing some people notice is that you’re not showing up the same way anymore. In this episode, Jes digs into the quiet, unseen kind of struggle—the kind that doesn’t look like a breakdown, but feels like one. The kind where your capacity drops, your energy shifts, and suddenly people start noticing your absence instead of your pain. This conversation explores what it means when people react to what you stop giving instead of asking what you’re going through. It unpacks the tension between who you’ve always been for others… and who you actually have the capacity to be right now. We’re talking about: * The emotional weight of being misunderstood while you’re struggling * Why “you’ve changed” can feel so heavy (and what it often really means) * The difference between being valued and being relied on * What happens when you stop over-functioning in your relationships * Learning to pull back without over-explaining yourself * Recognizing who shows up for you when you can’t show up the same way * Choosing yourself—even when it shifts your relationships This one is for anyone who’s been quietly holding it together… while feeling like they’re being seen all wrong. KEY TAKEAWAYS: * Not everyone notices your pain—some only notice your absence * A shift in your capacity is not a character flaw * Being needed is not the same as being valued * Real connection adapts when you don’t have as much to give * You don’t owe constant access to anyone * Pulling back is not failure—it’s information * The right people won’t require you to abandon yourself LISTENER REFLECTION: * When someone said “you’ve changed,” what did you wish they asked instead? * Where in your life have you been over-giving out of habit? * Who checks in on you without making it about themselves? * What would it look like to protect your energy without explaining it away? CALL TO ACTION: If this episode hit home, I’d love to hear from you—What’s something you wish someone had noticed about you… instead of what you stopped giving? CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/]

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63 episoder

episode CHAPTER 61 - SHOWING UP WITHOUT PERMISSION cover

CHAPTER 61 - SHOWING UP WITHOUT PERMISSION

How much of your life belongs to you? And how much of it belongs to stories you inherited from other people? In this episode, Jes explores the quiet ways we wait for permission before pursuing the lives we actually want. Permission to start. Permission to change. Permission to create. Permission to leave. Permission to take up space. Together, we unpack the beliefs we never consciously chose, the expectations we learned to carry, and the survival strategies that may have once protected us but now keep us stuck. We talk about self-abandonment, envy as a compass, the grief of becoming disconnected from ourselves, and what it means to trust our own voice again after years of listening to everyone else’s. This conversation is for anyone who has ever found themselves standing at the edge of something they deeply wanted while waiting for confidence, certainty, validation, or approval to arrive first. Because maybe the question isn’t whether you’re allowed to want the life that’s calling to you. Maybe the question is what happens when you finally stop asking. IN THIS EPISODE: • The hidden ways we wait for permission without realizing it • Why inherited beliefs often feel like facts • The difference between contentment and resignation • The quiet grief of self-abandonment • How envy can reveal what matters most to us • Why growth often requires “weeding the garden” • Rebuilding self-trust one small promise at a time • Taking ownership of a life that already belongs to you LISTENER REFLECTION: What permission are you still waiting for? And what is one small step you could take if nobody ever handed it to you? CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. What permission have you been waiting for? What dream, idea, conversation, or next chapter keeps showing up in your life? Share your thoughts, stories, and reflections with us on social media or by email. Your story may help someone else realize they’re not alone. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small. REMEMBER: You do not have to prove your life makes sense to everyone else before you’re allowed to live it. You do not have to earn the right to want what you want. And you do not have to wait for permission to become who you already are.

22. juni 202639 min
episode CHAPTER 60 - SHOWING UP WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHY IT HURTS THIS MUCH cover

CHAPTER 60 - SHOWING UP WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHY IT HURTS THIS MUCH

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t come with a clear reason. Nothing obvious happened. Nothing you can easily point to and say, “this is why.” And still… it hurts. In this episode of The Art of Showing Up, Jes explores what it means to sit with emotions that don’t make sense on the surface—feelings that are often minimized by others and, over time, by ourselves. This conversation dives into: * The confusion of feeling deeply without a clear explanation * How minimization (external and internal) impacts our emotional reality * The experience of invisible grief and unacknowledged loss * Why we question our own feelings—and how that disconnects us from ourselves * The reflex to carry everything alone, even when support is available * What it looks like to let something be real without needing to fix it If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “why does this hurt this much?”—this episode is for you. You don’t need perfect words to feel something deeply. You don’t need permission to acknowledge your own experience. Sometimes showing up…looks like letting it be real. LISTENER REFLECTION: Take a moment after listening and sit with this: * What are you feeling right now that you've been trying to explain away? * Where have you minimized your own experience because someone else did first? * What would it look like to let it be real...even without understanding it yet? CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

15. juni 202630 min
episode CHAPTER 59 - I CAN'T KEEP EXPLAINING MYSELF TO CLOSED DOORS cover

CHAPTER 59 - I CAN'T KEEP EXPLAINING MYSELF TO CLOSED DOORS

Have you ever had the feeling that someone stopped listening before you even finished explaining yourself? Not disagreement or conflict. Just that heavy realization that somebody already chose a version of you before hearing your side fully. This week on The Art of Showing Up, we’re talking about the emotional exhaustion of being misunderstood — especially when it happens repeatedly, and especially when it comes from people we hoped would know us better than that. We explore: * the stories people build about each other * being judged through assumptions, reputation, or old versions of ourselves * the emotional labor of overexplaining * what happens when proof changes nothing * the nervous system impact of chronic misinterpretation * uneven loyalty in relationships * and how to stop abandoning yourself trying to force understanding from emotionally closed spaces This episode is not about becoming cold or detached. It’s about learning how to protect your peace without losing your softness. Because some doors are not locked because you failed to explain yourself well enough. Sometimes they were never truly open to begin with. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who’s been carrying the weight of feeling unseen. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

8. juni 202635 min
episode CHAPTER 58 - WHEN SELF-CARE ISN'T CUTE BUT IT STILL COUNTS cover

CHAPTER 58 - WHEN SELF-CARE ISN'T CUTE BUT IT STILL COUNTS

What if self-care isn’t supposed to look aesthetic all the time? In this deeply honest and conversational episode, Jes talks about the side of healing nobody really posts about: the messy, quiet, deeply human forms of self-care that don’t earn applause but still keep us connected to ourselves. This conversation explores: 🔥 ugly-cry self-care 🔥 nervous system exhaustion 🔥 survival-mode healing 🔥 micro-decisions that prevent self-abandonment 🔥 performative wellness culture 🔥 solitude vs isolation 🔥 emotional overwhelm and overstimulation 🔥 healing that looks boring, repetitive, and invisible Jes reflects on: * why aesthetic wellness culture can make struggling people feel like they’re “doing healing wrong” * how tiny acts of care matter more than people realize * the difference between performative self-care and honest self-care * sitting with yourself gently instead of punishing yourself * the quiet choices that slowly help people reconnect with themselves This episode is not about becoming perfect. It’s about learning how to care for yourself honestly—even when the care looks messy, ordinary, exhausted, inconvenient, or deeply un-photogenic. If you’ve been struggling lately…burned out…overstimulated…emotionally exhausted…or quietly trying to hold yourself together in tiny ways nobody sees…this episode is for you. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

1. juni 202631 min
episode CHAPTER 57 - SHOWING UP FOR SOMEONE'S ABILITY TO DISAPPOINT YOU cover

CHAPTER 57 - SHOWING UP FOR SOMEONE'S ABILITY TO DISAPPOINT YOU

What if one of the deepest forms of emotional safety is knowing a relationship can survive humanity? In this deeply honest episode, Jes explores the fear so many people carry of becoming disappointing inside relationships—and what it means to create emotional space for imperfection without immediately turning mistakes into abandonment. This conversation dives into: 🔥 fear-based attachment 🔥 emotional hypervigilance 🔥 perfectionism in relationships 🔥 people-pleasing and performance 🔥 conflict tolerance 🔥 emotional safety 🔥 accountability and repair 🔥 the difference between harm and humanity 🔥 learning how to stay connected through disappointment instead of collapsing under it Jes also reflects on: * why mistakes can feel emotionally catastrophic * the fear of being “one mistake away” from losing love * relationships built around performance instead of honesty * why intimacy cannot deepen without disappointment eventually entering the room * what healthy repair actually looks like * creating relationships strong enough to survive humanity This episode is NOT about tolerating abuse, abandoning boundaries, or excusing repeated harm. It’s about learning how to love imperfect human beings without treating every hard moment like proof the relationship is doomed. If you’ve ever felt terrified of disappointing people you love…or struggled to feel emotionally safe being fully human around others…this episode is for you. CONNECT + SUPPORT: If this episode landed in a place where you felt moved, I hope it helps you breathe a little bit better. As always, follow, rate, and review the show -- be part of this wonderful little community's growth. And make sure to share this and any other episode with those you love and care about and on social media. Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/the.artofshowingup] Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/TAOSUpodcast] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@thejessrick] Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theartofshowingup.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theartofshowingup.org/] 📩 DM me on IG 💬 Or message me on Facebook or the website! You can stay anonymous. You can be real. No story is too small.

25. maj 202637 min