Awaken Hope PM Edition with Mark DeBellis on Gifts of Adversity Project
Mark DeBellis - My Story
I’m going to start at the end and go back to the beginning.
Today, I’m a happily married husband and father of two wonderful daughters and a grandfather to three. I’ve worked hard my entire life, and life has rewarded me with good health, a nice lifestyle, many friends and a loving family.
But I often ask myself, “how did I get here?” I have been blessed, but never thought that I deserved or expected my life to turn out this way.
And that is where this “Gifts of Adversity” notion comes full circle.
It seems my life was full of adversity. At a very young age, I spent months at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles with a rare blood disorder. That created many implications in my early childhood.
As the oldest of four I was often the one responsible for more than I should have been.
As our family dynamics changed and our parents headed towards divorce, life was going to get even more challenging.
My mother’s mental health deteriorated as did the marriage. After the divorce, mom was given custody. The four of us children experienced a nearly 2-year sojourn of homelessness, life disruption, multiple schools, food and financial insecurity.
As children, we knew we were always loved dearly by our mother. There was never a doubt. We just lacked the stability and consistency that is important with young children. But we survived these hardships.
Through these various challenges, all of us were strengthened. We faced adversity at many different levels on a frequent basis. How to eat. Where to sleep. Sometimes just getting to the next day. We didn’t seek out any of these circumstances, they seemed to find us. But as kids going through these challenges, life taught us resourcefulness and courage. We learned humility and gratitude.
We just didn’t know it then.
The road was rocky and often miserable, with little view of the horizon. Many of life’s most important lessons occur in the midst of crisis circumstances.
As I reached adulthood, I was on a ship without a rudder. I moved in with a friend at 18 and worked in a manufacturing plant for minimum wage. It was probably $1.65/hour back then. I attended junior college at night. I was driving a beat up old staton wagon with holes in the floorboard, just like the Flintstones.
When I was fired from my position, I had a chance to reexamine my life and situation.
I was fired. What a gift that was! It was the smack in the head that allowed me to rethink where I was headed, and how to reset my trajectory. Adversity giving with both hands.
Many of my friends had gone off to college but I didn’t have the grades nor the finances to go. My SAT scores were decent. Regardless, I decided to enroll and I was accepted! A state grant and some student loans got me started.
I was scared heading off to college. I didn’t feel I was worthy or deserving. But I blossomed in college. My grades were very good. I discovered my leadership skills and became very involved with campus and professional organizations. I decided that I would pursue the field of Marketing. I came to love the subject and majored in it.
Just three years from being fired from my job, I was graduating Cum Laude from Cal Poly Pomona and applying at graduate schools to pursue an MBA.
Now, over 40 years later and many different companies, positions and experiences, I can look back and see where these life lessons at a young age helped me grow in preparation for future things. That doesn’t mean life was easy. Life is never easy. Nothing should be taken for granted.
Throughout these many years, I’ve made good decisions and bad decisions. Made friends and made some enemies. That is part of life. However, I believe my ability to deal with these set-backs effectively today, came from these early experiences dealing with set-backs and challenges.
Website: https://giftsofadversity.com [https://giftsofadversity.com]
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