Unstuck with Jay Abbasi

173: You Don’t Need More Discipline

12 min · 29. touko 2026
jakson 173: You Don’t Need More Discipline kansikuva

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The problem isn’t your willpower. The problem is your system. In this solo episode, Jay challenges one of the most common beliefs in personal development: that success comes from being more disciplined. Drawing from personal stories about rebuilding routines, growing a business, and strengthening relationships, he explains why relying on willpower often leads to frustration and self-criticism. Instead, Jay makes the case that consistency is not a motivation problem but a systems problem. Through practical examples and actionable strategies, he demonstrates how creating the right structures can make positive habits easier to maintain and help you achieve meaningful results without constantly fighting yourself. If you've ever wondered why you struggle to follow through, this episode offers a refreshing and practical perspective. Notable Quotes “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” — James Clear “Your brain is not wired for that.” — Jay Abbasi “It was the systems that needed help, not my willpower.” — Jay Abbasi “You don’t need to rely on your willpower. The system is there.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Leo, a leader whose team is underperforming and facing growing pressure from other departments. Jay is joined by Jason O. Harris, retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, and keynote speaker, to explore how leaders can create accountability, build trust, and improve performance without sacrificing the human side of leadership.

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jakson 180: You're Not Your Thoughts kansikuva

180: You're Not Your Thoughts

You don’t need to believe every thought you have. Meet Zayd. He's a successful attorney, but lately success feels more like survival. Long hours, constant pressure, and one piece of critical feedback can consume his mind for days. Even when he's home with his wife and four children, he's mentally somewhere else. He wants to stop overthinking, reconnect with his work, and finally be present for the people who matter most. Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Gregory T. Obert, licensed psychologist, therapist, and podcast host. Together, they explore why high achievers often become trapped by their own thoughts, how mindfulness can interrupt destructive patterns, and practical strategies to manage stress, improve decision-making, and prevent burnout. Notable Quotes "It's paying attention on purpose to the present moment, non-judgmentally." — Dr. Gregory T. Obert "Just shoving your emotions down isn't going to make them go away." — Dr. Gregory T. Obert "You don't have to attach yourself to the hardship of the now." — Dr. Gregory T. Obert About Our Guest Dr. Gregory T. Obert is a licensed psychologist, therapist, speaker, and podcast host who specializes in helping high-performing professionals manage stress, prevent burnout, and improve emotional well-being. His work combines practical psychology with evidence-based strategies to help people build healthier, more fulfilling lives. Resources & Links Gregory T. Obert Royal Oasis Psychotherapy Institute Website – https://www.royaloasispi.com/ Website – https://gregorytobert.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorytobert YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@DrGOBERT Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/drgtobert/ X – https://x.com/DrGTObert Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay shares his Top 5 Communication Techniques that have had the greatest impact on his life and career. These are the strategies that have helped leaders become more influential, build stronger relationships, and communicate with greater confidence. If you want practical techniques you can immediately apply at work and in life, you won't want to miss this episode.

22. kesä 202653 min
jakson 179: My Top 10 Communication Techniques (Part 1) kansikuva

179: My Top 10 Communication Techniques (Part 1)

The way you communicate may be the biggest factor in your success. In this solo episode, Jay kicks off a two-part countdown of the 10 most impactful communication techniques he has learned throughout his career as a speaker, coach, and leader. These are practical strategies he has relied on to build trust, strengthen relationships, and influence others, even in situations where he had no formal authority. In Part 1, Jay counts down techniques 10 through 6, including how to communicate empathy through body language, avoid habits that weaken your presence, ask questions that uncover deeper insights, build rapport through mirroring, and create meaningful connections by sharing personal stories. Rather than trying to master everything at once, he encourages listeners to focus on one technique at a time and turn it into a lasting habit. Notable Quotes “Communication works for those who work at it.” — John Powell “You don't want to unintentionally communicate either impatience or insecurity.” — Jay Abbasi “Mirroring someone's body language… helps at a subconscious level for the person to feel much more comfortable with you.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be the one that proactively is vulnerable… to enable the other person to do so.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Join Us Next Time On Monday's episode, you'll meet Zayd, an attorney balancing a demanding career and raising four children while feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and on the path to burnout. Jay is joined by Dr. Gregory T. Obert, psychologist, therapist, and expert in stress management, to explore how high-performing professionals can recognize unhealthy stress patterns, regulate their nervous systems, and create a life where they thrive instead of merely surviving.

19. kesä 202614 min
jakson 178: From Nervous to Service kansikuva

178: From Nervous to Service

What if the voice holding you back… is your own? Meet Jamie. She’s a Director of Regulatory Affairs who knows her business inside and out. Her team trusts her. Her results speak for themselves. But in leadership meetings, she gets quiet. While others confidently share their ideas, Jamie finds herself holding back, replaying conversations long after they end and wondering why her voice seems to disappear when it matters most. What she wants isn’t to become someone else. She simply wants the confidence to speak up, be heard, and earn the opportunities she knows she’s capable of handling. Today, Jay sits down with Allison Shapira, executive communication expert, keynote speaker, bestselling author, Harvard lecturer, and former opera singer. For more than two decades, Allison has helped leaders communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Together, they explore how leaders can move beyond perfection, build trust through authentic communication, and find the courage to speak up when the stakes are high. Notable Quotes “You go from nervous to service.” — Dave Bricker “Your work does not speak for itself. You have to speak for it.” — Allison Shapira “You can't communicate with others until you first learn how to communicate with yourself.” — Allison Shapira About Our Guest Allison Shapira is a keynote speaker, executive communication coach, bestselling author, and lecturer at Harvard Kennedy School. She works with Fortune 100 executives, entrepreneurs, and public leaders to help them communicate authentically, build trust, and lead with greater impact. Her latest book is AI for the Authentic Leader. Resources & Links Allison Shapira Ai for the Authentic Leader – https://allisonshapira.com/ai-for-the-authentic-leader/ Website – https://allisonshapira.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisonshapira/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/AllisonShapira Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/allisonshapira/ X – https://x.com/allisonshapira Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay begins a two-part countdown of the most effective communication techniques he has ever learned. Drawing from years of coaching leaders, delivering keynotes, and studying communication, he shares practical strategies to help you influence more effectively, strengthen relationships, and increase your impact. If you want to become a stronger communicator, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

15. kesä 202653 min
jakson 177: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself kansikuva

177: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

The way you talk to yourself may be the very thing holding you back. In this solo episode, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states, and why understanding these distinctions can dramatically improve your performance, resilience, and well-being. Drawing from the teachings of Anthony de Mello, Viktor Frankl, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Jay explains why harsh self-judgment creates unnecessary psychological suffering and how a practice of self-observation can help you become more self-aware without becoming self-critical. He also breaks down the role of flow states and when to observe yourself versus when to let go and fully immerse yourself in the moment. Notable Quotes “There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.” — Anthony de Mello “Self-criticism does not serve you.” — Jay Abbasi “Be that kind of coach for yourself that you would want if you were playing sports.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be able to observe yourself without judgment.” — Jay Abbasi “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Jamie, Director of Regulatory Affairs for a medical equipment manufacturer, who knows she has the skills to move up but struggles to project confidence and presence in high-stakes conversations. Jay is joined by Allison Shapira, Harvard lecturer, executive advisor, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and former opera singer, to explore how leaders can communicate with greater confidence, credibility, and impact.

12. kesä 202612 min
jakson 176: The Gap Between Knowing And Doing kansikuva

176: The Gap Between Knowing And Doing

Why is it so much easier to know what to do than to actually do it? Meet Sebastian. The team call ends and he's staring at his reflection through a blank screen, frustrated because he did it again. A developer brought him a problem and rather than coach or delegate, Sebastian took it on himself. This week, he promised he'd stop being the bottleneck. But when the pressure hit, he fell back into the same pattern. He reads leadership books, listens to podcasts, and genuinely wants to grow, yet he keeps asking himself the same question: Why does knowing better never seem to turn into doing better? Today, Jay sits down with Scott J. Allen, PhD, leadership educator, researcher, speaker, and host of the Practical Wisdom for Leaders podcast. Scott shares insights on self-awareness, behavior change, leadership development, and how to close the gap between what we know and how we actually show up. Notable Quotes “Leaders don't have to have the answers. Sometimes they need to elevate the right questions.” — Scott J. Allen “Self-awareness is ground zero.” — Scott J. Allen “What people are raising their hands for out there in the world is incredibly difficult to do well.” — Scott J. Allen About Our Guest Scott J. Allen, PhD, is a leadership educator, researcher, speaker, and host of the Practical Wisdom for Leaders podcast. For more than two decades, he has studied leadership development, helping leaders strengthen self-awareness, navigate complexity, and build the habits that lead to long-term success. Resources & Links Scott J. Allen Website – https://www.scottjallen.net/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-j-allen/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@PracticalWisdomForLeaders Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states. Drawing from a recent conversation with his book editor, he explains why self-observation is a critical skill for growth, how it differs from harsh self-judgment, and why flow states are essential for peak performance. If you want to improve your ability to take action, perform at a higher level, and create meaningful results, this episode is one you won't want to miss.

8. kesä 202656 min