35. Handles It 'Fine' (Internalized PDA)

35. Handles It 'Fine' (Internalized PDA)

You may have looked up PDA – Pervasive Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance. Read about explosive refusals, screaming matches, visible behavior that clears rooms. And closed the tab. Because you comply. You finish. You handle things. Yet a directive from someone you respect sends your nervous system into full crisis. An uninvited task takes down an entire day. You want to do the thing and you're in revolt about it — simultaneously.  PDA has another presentation, a masked one. And it might look a lot more like you.  In this episode: * Why being looked at can trigger a threat response * The way AuDHD masking and PDA create a loop that loads more onto the people who hide it best * How internalized PDA is real and underrepresented — because it was never looked for, not because it's rare Connect With Adria: * Get your free Unmasking Menu [http://adriasophia.com/unmasking] * AuDHD Coaching [http://adriasophia.com/audhd-coaching] with Adria * @iamadriasophia [https://instagram.com/iamadriasophia] Wish you had a reminder of what sparked? Full episode guides at AuDHDSparks.com [http://audhdsparks.com/].

34. Don’t Call Me Difficult

Some of us grew up watching other women – in our family, in the world around us – who asked for things or were clear about their needs get called difficult. Demanding. Too much. And we learned fast: don't be like them. So we performed fine. Said yes when we meant no. Hid how much things actually cost us.  But what if the women in our lineages who got that label were actually onto something? In this episode: * The word "difficult" and what it's really punishing * Why invisible work doesn't show up on the to-do list * The three ways we learned to hide our needs * What it looks like when someone finally just... sees your needs as real * Why staying resourced isn't weakness — it's how you stay in the fight Connect With Adria: * Get your free Unmasking Menu [http://adriasophia.com/unmasking] * AuDHD Coaching [http://adriasophia.com/audhd-coaching] with Adria * @iamadriasophia [https://instagram.com/iamadriasophia] Wish you had a reminder of what sparked? Full episode guides at AuDHDSparks.com [http://audhdsparks.com/].

33. Needing Opposite Things at the Same Time

You packed the bag with every possible version of today. Again. And someone in your life just watched you do it, confused. You're not disorganized. You're holding two genuinely opposing nervous system requirements at the same time. Your nervous system needs to plan ahead but you genuinely cannot know which version of yourself is showing up today. This episode is about the productive contradiction at the center of the AuDHD experience — not as a problem to solve, but as the design itself. In this episode: * Why the overpacked bag is precision, not chaos * What masking actually contains (it's not just behaviors) * How to stop fighting the contradiction you were built with * What rewilding really looks like ___________________________ Join the Gathering — A free virtual gathering for AuDHD women & nonbinary folks. June 10, 2026, 1pm Pacific. Save your spot at adriasophia.com/gathering [http://adriasophia.com/gathering]. ___________________________ Connect With Adria: * Get your free Unmasking Menu [http://adriasophia.com/unmasking] * AuDHD Coaching [http://adriasophia.com/audhd-coaching] with Adria * @iamadriasophia [https://instagram.com/iamadriasophia] Wish you had a reminder of what sparked? Full episode guides at AuDHDSparks.com [http://audhdsparks.com/].

32. But I Was Doing So Well

That "good stretch, then nothing" pattern? We've decided it means we're inconsistent. Getting lazy. What if the pattern itself is trying to tell us something completely different? In this episode: * Why consistency was invented for factories — not nervous systems like ours * How to tell a cycle low from burnout (they need different things) * What our ancestors knew about cyclical living that we were told to ignore * Why every low season feels like the first one — and how to change that ___________________________ Join the Gathering — A free virtual gathering for AuDHD women & nonbinary folks. June 10, 2026, 1pm Pacific. Save your spot at adriasophia.com/gathering [http://adriasophia.com/gathering]. ___________________________ Connect With Adria: * Get your free Unmasking Menu [http://adriasophia.com/unmasking] * AuDHD Coaching [http://adriasophia.com/audhd-coaching] with Adria * @iamadriasophia [https://instagram.com/iamadriasophia] Wish you had a reminder of what sparked? Full episode guides at AuDHDSparks.com [http://audhdsparks.com/].

31. When Did the Mask Creep Back On?

We were doing it. Things were fitting better. There was more of us left over at the end of the day. And then, without noticing, the mask crept back on. Not dramatically. Just a little less of ourselves, a little more of what's manageable for everyone else — until we looked up exhausted and wondered how we got there again. In this episode: * Why unmasking isn't actually a destination we arrive at once * What's different now that we know what it feels like to unmask * What's coming this season — including the edgy stuff Connect With Adria: * Get your free Unmasking Menu [http://adriasophia.com/unmasking] * AuDHD Coaching [http://adriasophia.com/audhd-coaching] with Adria * @iamadriasophia [https://instagram.com/iamadriasophia] Wish you had a reminder of what sparked? Full episode guides at AuDHDSparks.com [http://audhdsparks.com/].