9 to FI - Financial Independence Conversations
The Power of Saying No: Boundaries at Work, with Family, and with YourselfJosh and Elliot discuss how to say no to bosses, coworkers, friends, family, and oneself, reflecting on their shared people-pleasing tendencies. They open with accountability updates (Josh scheduling a colonoscopy; Elliot struggling to restart workouts after illness and foot pain), then share examples of difficulty setting boundaries, including Josh’s guilt over refusing Elliot’s brake help but spending a Sunday fixing another friend’s brakes after giving bad advice. Josh describes learning to say no at work by clarifying priorities and negotiating tradeoffs to avoid burnout, influenced by ideas like Cal Newport’s, while Elliot notes that extra effort isn’t always rewarded and emphasizes focusing on the most impactful work. They contrast work boundaries with the harder emotional challenge of saying no to friends and family, discuss regret and FOMO, and address saying no to oneself by limiting new projects, side hustles, and time commitments in early retirement. 00:00 Why Saying No Matters 01:14 Accountability Buddy Check In 03:59 The Brake Job Karma Story 06:28 Saying No at Work 11:15 Quality Over Quantity 15:53 COVID Era Boundaries 19:05 Declining the Return Invite 21:35 Friends Family Guilt 23:04 People Pleaser Guilt 24:06 Hell Yes Philosophy 25:28 Saying Yes Then Regret 27:02 Retirement Boundaries 28:28 Fence Favor Fallout 31:38 No To Yourself 32:35 Side Hustle Temptations 35:39 Time Value Debate 37:57 Babysitter Rate Reality 39:07 Practicing Better Nos 41:16 Closing And Feedback Do you have feedback or suggestions? We want to hear from you! Contact Elliot: Elliot@ninetofipod.com [Elliot@ninetofipod.com] Contact Josh: Josh@ninetofipod.com [Josh@ninetofipod.com] Josh’s other podcast: Stuck In Beta [https://open.spotify.com/show/4foNu6PXBBTnj7LRPUWeSd?si=380e77ecc4524baf] Josh’s YouTube channel: How To Fix It Workshop [http://www.youtube.com/@howtofixitworkshop] Any of these products help the show. Thanks for your support! Mint Mobile - We both use Mint Mobile [http://fbuy.me/vgAmz] and save a ton on our phone plan: https://fbuy.me/vgAmz [http://fbuy.me/vgAmz] Empower [https://empowerreferral.link/joshuaepley] is Josh’s choice for Net Worth and Budgeting Wanna create a podcast? We use Descript [https://descript.cello.so/IVNVNzQT7Gf] Looking for a new credit card? We’re big fans of Chase [https://www.referyourchasecard.com/226d/VXSG31N8OF] Buy Us a Coffee [https://buymeacoffee.com/9tofi] - One time donation or monthly, it’s up to you Want to save money on gas? Try Upside! [https://upside.app.link/JOSH56339] Books mentioned in this episode: Come find us and subscribe on YouTube [http://www.youtube.com/@9toFI]: http://www.youtube.com/@9toFI [http://www.youtube.com/@9toFI]
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