Grief, Control, and Missing Goodbyes

Why Would She Pick You?

In Episode 69 of After the Quiet, I share a deeply meaningful moment when my husband's cousin's daughter asked me to be her Confirmation sponsor. What should have been a joyful and affirming experience quickly became another source of criticism, jealousy, and emotional manipulation. Instead of celebrating the honour, I found myself defending why I deserved it. This episode explores emotional abuse, self-worth, jealousy, and the ways controlling partners can undermine moments of recognition and accomplishment. I reflect on the importance of supportive friendships, the people who encouraged me to stand up for myself, and how being chosen for such an important role helped me begin to see my own value again. It's a story about validation, confidence, and the people who remind us who we are when others try to make us forget.

The Motorcycle Club That Took Him Away From His Family

In Episode 68 of After the Quiet, I share how my husband's involvement in a motorcycle club gradually consumed more and more of his time, leaving me to manage the household and raise our children largely on my own. What started as a hobby I supported quickly became another commitment that took priority over family plans, weekends together, and meaningful time with our children. This episode explores emotional neglect, isolation within marriage, single parenting while still married, and the subtle ways partners can become increasingly absent from family life. I also reflect on attending a motorcycle club Christmas party, my growing discomfort with the club's culture, and the realization that I was becoming accustomed to doing everything alone. It's a story about absence, shifting priorities, and recognizing when a relationship no longer feels like a partnership.

I Broke My Wrist And Still Had To Do Everything

In Episode 67 of After the Quiet, I share how an accident on the very first day of school in a brand-new building led to a fractured wrist, surgery, and one of the clearest examples of emotional neglect in my marriage. While recovering from broken bones, surgery, and severe pain, I was still expected to manage the household, care for the children, and meet everyone else's needs—with little to no support from my spouse. This episode explores emotional abuse, neglect during illness and injury, coercive control, the importance of support systems, and the painful realization that the people who truly showed up for me were not always the people I expected. It’s a story about vulnerability, resilience, and what happens when a partner refuses to care for you when you need them most.

I Wasn’t Allowed To Shine

In Episode 66 of After the Quiet, I share how accepting the opportunity to help open a brand new school became another source of anger and control in my marriage. What should have been an exciting and empowering professional milestone was met with jealousy, criticism, and accusations that I wanted attention or was becoming “too involved” in my career. As I stepped into a creative, collaborative school environment where I felt valued and supported, the contrast between my work life and home life became impossible to ignore. This episode explores emotional abuse, isolation, professional identity, workplace empowerment, and how controlling partners often feel threatened when their spouse begins rebuilding confidence and independence.

It Was About Control

In Episode 65 of After the Quiet, I share the painful moment I was told I couldn’t attend a concert by my favourite artist because it was considered “frivolous” spending—only for that artist to pass away weeks later. What seemed like an argument about money was actually something much deeper: control over joy, independence, and self-worth. This episode explores financial abuse, emotional manipulation, hidden bank accounts, guilt around spending, and the double standards that often exist in controlling relationships. While I was made to feel selfish for wanting one night for myself, thousands of dollars were quietly being spent elsewhere without question. It was never really about the concert—it was about control.