Discipline Isn’t What You Think. The Standard That Actually Drives Your Life

Strength Is Not Silence: Navy Chaplain Steve Mills on Leading Through Grief and Fear, and The Conversations Leaders Avoid

Vulnerability in leadership is the conversation almost no one wants to have out loud. We praise the people who push through, stay strong, and never complain. We hand them the promotion and the pat on the back. And we rarely ask what it is costing them when they finally get home. In this episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci sits down with Captain Steve Mills, a retired US Navy chaplain who has spent more than three decades walking beside people through combat, crisis, grief, and now hospice care. Steve has done the death notifications. He has sat in silence with a sailor who just needed someone to be there. He has buried two siblings and built a fort in his backyard to honor his brother. He knows what real strength looks like, and it is not silence. Together they take apart one of the biggest misconceptions in leadership: that strength and suffering always look different. Sometimes the strongest person in the room is simply the one who has learned to hide the pain the best. Steve and Dr. Traci talk about the conversations leaders avoid, starting with the ones they refuse to have with themselves. They get honest about fear, rejection, grief, burnout, and the rising rate of suicide among veterans and the people we lead every single day. This one is raw, real, and no fluff. If you are leading while exhausted, carrying more than people can see, or quietly wondering how much longer you can hold it together, this conversation is for you. In this episode, you’ll discover: * What vulnerability in leadership actually looks like, and why it is a strength and not a weakness  * The conversations leaders avoid most, starting with the ones they will not have with themselves  * Why strength is not the absence of struggle How servant leadership builds trust faster than authority ever will  * What a "ministry of presence" teaches us about showing up for the people we lead  * Why silence feels safe, and how it quietly isolates the people everyone depends on  * How to create emotional safety so honesty is not punished at work or at home  * What grief does when we ignore it, and why Steve says to embrace it instead of avoid it  * The link between leader burnout, mental health, and veteran suicide Simple, science-backed ways to release the pressure: humor, movement, mirror work, and real connection We talk about: 00:00 The conversation most leaders are afraid to have out loud  02:30 Meet Captain Steve Mills: Navy chaplain, firefighter, and hospice chaplain  04:00 "You can't do it alone": the helicopter crash that changed everything  06:30 From a wheelchair to six marathons: Steve's story  08:30 Becoming a Navy chaplain and the leaders who made or broke the mission  11:00 Life in thirds: firefighting, chaplaincy, and hospice  12:30 "Keep walking": the tagline behind the man  15:30 The conversations leaders avoid, and why they start with yourself  17:30 Servant leadership and the fear of being rejected  20:00 Vulnerability in leadership: why we hide it and what it costs  22:00 Silence, processing, and how strong people isolate themselves  25:00 The ministry of presence: being embedded with your people  28:00 The coldest baptism and leading from the front  29:30 Why humor heals and how laughter releases the pressure  31:00 Mirror work: the self work most leaders skip  35:30 Ten minutes of silence: the counseling session Steve never forgot  40:30 What people misunderstand about strength  42:30 Creating environments where honesty is not punished  43:30 "Now is not your time": grief, focus, and the time and place for everything  44:30 When crying is your body releasing the emotion  47:00 Burnout, mental health, and the suicide conversation we keep avoiding  49:00 Anger, faith, and the outlets that keep you whole  53:00 Grief as a gift: sunflowers, Fort Keith, and honoring the people we lose  58:00 Strength is not the absence of struggle: the takeaway  59:00 An invitation to lead with clarity, resilience, and support Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with Steve  * Website: https://www.etiw.org/ [https://www.etiw.org/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sdmills [https://www.facebook.com/sdmills] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] * https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan  #VulnerabilityInLeadership #LeadershipAndMentalHealth #StrengthIsNotSilence

Memorial Day, Mental Health, and the Silent Battles Veterans Fight Every Day

Memorial Day is more than barbecues and long weekends. For veterans, military families, and children raised in homes shaped by war, it carries a weight most people never see. In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Traci opens up about what Memorial Day truly means, sharing stories that go far beyond the battlefield. She reflects on two extraordinary leaders, Desmond Doss and Michael Murphy, whose courage redefined what it means to lead, sacrifice, and serve. She also shares her own family's story, including her father's untreated trauma after the Korean War and how it shaped her understanding of leadership, pain, and generational cycles. This episode is for every veteran still fighting invisible battles. It is for every military family trying to understand the person sitting across from them at the dinner table. It is for every leader who has ever confused resilience with not feeling. You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of what resilience actually is, why veterans struggle to transition out of service, and how redefining leadership after the uniform comes off might be the most important thing we can do to protect the people we've already asked to sacrifice so much. In this episode, you’ll discover: * What Memorial Day actually means for veterans and military families * The story of Desmond Doss and the Hacksaw Ridge battle that redefined courage * How Michael Murphy's sacrifice in Operation Red Wings showed us what real leadership costs * Why resilience is not fearlessness and what it actually looks like in practice * The invisible wounds veterans carry long after deployment ends * Her father's story after the Korean War, and what unresolved trauma does to families * What veterans miss most after leaving service (and it's not what most people think) * How to redefine leadership after military service ends * Why Memorial Day should also honor the veterans we are losing every single day We talk about: 00:00 Welcome and why today's episode is personal 01:00 What Memorial Day really means for veterans and military families 02:00 The invisible battles that come home from war 02:30 Desmond Doss: Leadership, faith, and the courage to keep going back 04:30 What resilience actually is (and what it is not) 05:30 Michael Murphy and the story behind Lone Survivor 07:30 Why real leadership requires sacrifice and what Dr. Traci joined the military 09:00 Her father's story: The Korean War, survival mode, and unresolved trauma 11:00 Veterans losing their lives in silence, and what we can do about it 12:00 What veterans miss most after leaving service 13:30 Redefining leadership after the uniform comes off 15:00 A message directly to veterans: you are not weak and you are not alone 16:00 The community Dr. Traci built and an open invitation to connect 17:30 Closing thoughts: The greatest way to honor sacrifice Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #VeteranLeadership #MemorialDayMeaning #LeadershipForgedInFire

Who's Holding You Together When You're Holding Everything Else? Real Talk on Motherhood, Mental Load & Resilience

What does resilience actually look like when life does not slow down for you? In this special Mother's Day episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci brings two real women into the conversation for the first time in the show's history. AshLeigh, an IT leader and single mom raising an 11-year-old, and Kristina, an entrepreneur and mother navigating balancing, work, motherhood with her kindergartener and baby son was still in the hospital, sit down together to talk about what it actually means to keep showing up when everything is heavy. This is not a polished conversation about work-life balance. It is an honest one about what women carry quietly, what it costs to be the strong one in every room, and what it feels like to finally stop performing strength and start practicing it. They talk about depression, ADHD, medication, advocating for yourself in a healthcare system that does not always listen, the identity shift of becoming a mother, the pressure of single parenting, what real friendship looks like under pressure, and why finding joy in ordinary moments is not a small thing. It is everything. Because resilience is not built in one big dramatic moment. It is built in the repetition of waking up exhausted and choosing to care anyway. In this episode, you’ll discover: * Why women feel they have to appear strong even when they are completely overwhelmed * What the mental and emotional load of single motherhood actually looks like from the inside * How to advocate for yourself in a healthcare system that does not always hear you * Why being vulnerable with your kids builds trust instead of undermining your authority * The identity shift that happens the moment you become a mother and realize you are now the one who is supposed to know everything * How Kristina's mindset of controlling only what you can control keeps her grounded through uncertainty * Why AshLeigh's journey to finding the right medication for depression and ADHD is a story more women need to hear * What reciprocal energy in friendship actually means and why it does not have to be perfectly equal * How to raise financially responsible kids even when money is genuinely tight * Why the things that cost nothing often create the most meaningful memories for your children * What it looks like to redefine "rich" outside of money and material things * The one takeaway both guests want every listener to walk away with We talk about: * 00:00 Introducing AshLeigh and Kristina and why this conversation matters * 02:00 The pressure women feel to always appear strong and where it comes from * 04:00 The identity shift of becoming a mother and suddenly being the one with all the answers * 07:00 Being honest at work about what you are carrying and why it creates more freedom not less * 09:00 Traci on being a soldier and a mom and never being allowed to show weakness * 12:00 What vulnerability with your kids actually builds in them * 15:00 Single parenting, real conversations with kids, and why shielding them does not serve them * 18:00 Teaching financial responsibility when resources are limited * 20:00 Redefining rich: why happiness and love are the real measure * 22:00 AshLeigh on depression, ADHD, and the long road to finding the right support * 25:00 Why you are allowed to interview your doctor and say no * 27:00 Kristina's mindset: control what you can control and wake up like it is a gift * 28:00 What real best friendship looks like when life gets hard * 30:00 Reciprocal energy and why it does not have to be perfectly even * 32:00 What Traci wants every listener to walk away carrying Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #MomLife #MentalHealth #WomenLeadership

The Hidden Weight Women Leaders Carry (Especially Mothers) | Mental Fitness & Self-Leadership

What if leadership isn’t about titles, authority, or performance, but about what you quietly carry every single day? In this special episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci Eisenberg-Rayburn brings together real conversations with women navigating leadership in its most unfiltered form, as mothers, partners, business owners, and the emotional anchors of everyone around them. Because here’s what no one talks about: Leadership for women doesn’t always look like a role. Sometimes it looks like holding everything together while no one realizes how much you’re carrying. Through powerful conversations with multiple guests, this episode explores the reality of leading in different seasons of life, building businesses through uncertainty, raising families while managing pressure, and functioning at a high level while quietly navigating burnout. And beneath it all sits one critical truth: You don’t rise to your intentions under pressure. You default to your conditioning. That’s where mental fitness comes in, not as a buzzword, but as the skill that allows women to lead themselves with clarity, capacity, and control in the middle of everything they’re responsible for. This episode isn’t about doing more. It’s about understanding what you’re carrying, and learning how to carry it differently. In this episode, you’ll discover: * Why women are already leading, even without the title * The invisible emotional and mental load mothers carry daily * What leadership actually looks like behind the scenes * The cost of being “the strong one” in every area of life * Why high-performing women still feel overwhelmed and inconsistent * How entrepreneurship, motherhood, and leadership intersect * The truth about burnout and why it’s not a badge of honor * How clarity and communication reduce emotional load * The role of boundaries and capacity in sustainable leadership * Why slowing down creates more control, not less * How to create connection in relationships while leading everything else * The difference between functioning under pressure and leading through it * How mental fitness helps you regulate, respond, and lead with intention We talk about: * 00:00 Why leadership for women isn’t about titles, it’s about responsibility * 02:00 The reality of balancing motherhood, business, and leadership * 04:00 Monique’s journey, leaving corporate and building a business during crisis * 06:00 Risk, fear, and freedom in entrepreneurship as a mother * 08:00 What success costs behind the scenes that no one sees * 10:00 The myth of balance and the reality of building something meaningful * 12:00 Jenna on motherhood, self-leadership, and slowing down * 14:00 How regulating yourself changes how you lead your home and life * 16:00 Prioritizing yourself without guilt as a leader and a mother * 18:00 Relationships, connection, and maintaining identity in busy seasons * 20:00 Tia on burnout, pressure, and carrying everything for everyone * 22:00 Why strong women are often the most overwhelmed * 24:00 Communication gaps and emotional load in leadership at home * 26:00 Practical tools, clarity, boundaries, and capacity awareness * 28:00 The leadership pause, creating space before reacting * 30:00 How small shifts create massive change in leadership and life * 32:00 Final reflection, who are you when the pressure rises Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #WomenInLeadership #MotherhoodAndLeadership #MentalFitness

Mental Fitness vs Mental Health. The Leadership Gap No One Talks About

What if the reason you feel overwhelmed, inconsistent, or reactive… isn’t because you lack motivation, but because you’ve never been taught how to lead yourself under pressure? In this episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci Eisenberg-Rayburn breaks down a distinction that most leaders miss entirely, the difference between mental health and mental fitness. Mental health is your state. Mental fitness is your capacity. And when pressure rises, you don’t rise to your intentions. You default to your conditioning. Through real-life military leadership experience, high-pressure decision-making, and raw, direct insight, Traci reveals why so many high performers struggle with consistency, clarity, and emotional control, even when they’re intelligent, driven, and capable. Because the issue isn’t knowledge. It’s structure. And without mental fitness, your emotions become your decision-making system. This episode challenges you to stop sitting in awareness and start training your response, so you can lead with clarity, consistency, and control, no matter what’s happening around you. In this episode, you’ll discover: * The real difference between mental health and mental fitness (and why it matters) * Why awareness alone is not enough for effective leadership * How pressure exposes your internal conditioning, not your intentions * Why high performers still struggle with inconsistency and overwhelm * The hidden reason you feel reactive instead of proactive * How emotions quietly take over decision-making without mental fitness * Why leadership is about how you show up, not how you feel * The role of repetition and training in building mental strength * How urgency distorts clarity and decision-making * Why predictability builds trust in leadership * The moment your internal state becomes external impact * How to separate facts from feelings in real time * Why mental fitness is a daily practice, not a one-time shift We talk about: * 00:00 Why this isn’t about motivation, it’s about self-leadership under pressure * 02:00 The meaning behind “Got Your Six” and leadership responsibility * 04:00 Mental health vs mental fitness, the critical distinction * 06:00 Mental health is your state, mental fitness is your capacity * 08:00 Why leadership doesn’t happen when things feel good * 10:00 Military leadership lessons on pressure, stress, and control * 12:00 The difference between feeling stress and being controlled by it * 14:00 Why high performers still feel inconsistent and overwhelmed * 16:00 Mental fitness gaps vs operational problems * 18:00 How emotions take over decision-making without structure * 20:00 Practical mental fitness habits, pause, separate fact vs feeling * 22:00 Urgency vs importance, how leaders lose clarity * 24:00 How inconsistency erodes trust and predictability * 26:00 Why your internal state becomes your external leadership * 28:00 Final reflection, who are you under pressure Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #MentalFitness #LeadershipMindset #SelfLeadership