UNLOCKED! Bonus Episode 3: Sex Column SPECTACULAR

E25: A Peek Behind the Pub Quiz Curtain with Terrance Balazo

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Please give generously. This week Sooz and Michael welcome veteran quizmaster/brother Terrance Balazo to the show to talk about all things pub quiz. When did they start? Has technology made cheating inevitable? And why do pub quizzes make certain nerds lose their minds and become violent? Listen to find out! For more on Terrance's pub quizzes in Toronto and beyond, visit Another Round Trivia [https://www.anotherroundtrivia.com]. But first: Sooz gives her thoughts on why World Cup 2026 will be a massive shitshow; PLUS: a new dog-themed edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT On June 16, Michael Balazo is releasing his much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals". Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for pre-order on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] SHOWS! Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow - TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] June 5th - Sooz at Comedy Network @ Corn Exchange, Newbury TICKETS [https://cornexchangenew.com/events/comedy-network-summer-2026] June 6th SOOZ KEMPNER: IMPOSTER WIP @ Northampton TICKETS [https://tickets.thecomedycrate.com/events/thecomedycrate] June 7th - Sooz at Agony Aunts @ Aces & Eights, London TICKETS [https://www.acesandeightssaloonbar.com/events/edfringe-double-preview-aaagony-aunts-all-the-animals-ranked-by-comedians/] June 10th - Sooz at Keep it Clean! w/Nish Kumar @ The Comedy Store TICKETS [https://london.thecomedystore.co.uk/event/keep-it-clean-2026]

*PREVIEW* Bonus Ep.07 - The Great Stink!

In this week's bonus episode, Sooz tells Michael all about The Great Stink of 1858, when the River Thames was so full of sewage and the sun was so hot that London got too stinky and parliament couldn't operate. Bit on the nose, lads! Literally. This is just a preview of course. To hear the full episode and gain access to all of our exclusive content please head to our Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/longdistancebitweird]. Thanks!

E24: The October Crisis - Bombs, Tanks and Chaos on the Streets of Montreal

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Hot Stuff. This week Michael tells Sooz about one of the rudest chapters in Canada's history: the October Crisis of 1970, when, after a seven-year bombing campaign, the militant Quebec separatist group the Front de libération du Québec (FLQ) kidnapped British diplomat James Cross and Quebec Labour Minister Pierre Laporte. Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau responded by implementing the War Measures Act, which led to tanks, soldiers and snipers on the streets of Montreal. Did it end politely? Listen to find out! But first: Sooz reports on the English heatwave; Freddie the cat is forced to take a bath; PLUS: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT On June 16, Michael Balazo is releasing his much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals". Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for pre-order on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] SHOWS May 29th - Sooz Kempner - Screaming Blue Murder @ The Core, Corby TICKETS [https://www.screamingbluemurdercomedy.com/corby] June 2nd - Sooz Kempner - BYOB @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS [https://byobcomedy.com/area/brighton/] June 4th - Sooz Kempner - BYOB @ East Dulwich Picturehouse, London TICKETS [https://byobcomedy.com/area/east-dulwich/]

E23: Rainbow, the Beloved British Children's Show

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. At time of publishing, 1 Canadian dollar is worth 0.54p. This week Sooz tells Michael the story of beloved British children's television series Rainbow. Created as a British response to Sesame Street, Rainbow aired from 1972-1992. And while Rainbow lacked Sesame Street's American glamour, big budget and huge cast, it certainly had a man named Geoffrey who was forced to live in a small house with two puppets and a huge bear that argued nonstop. Why was the Rainbow theme song so groovy/melancholy? What is Zippy? Was innocuous folk trio Rod, Jane and Freddy fuelled by sexual jealousy? Why was Bungle arrested? And was an episode of Rainbow really banned? Listen to find out! But first: SILLY town names; forgotten David Bowie personas; PLUS: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** SHOWS May 24th - Sooz Kempner: Imposter WIP @ Crack, Kingston TICKETS [https://www.crackcomedy.com/kingston] May 29th - Sooz Kempner - Screaming Blue Murder @ The Core, Corby TICKETS [https://www.screamingbluemurdercomedy.com/corby] June 2nd - Sooz Kempner - BYOB @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS [https://byobcomedy.com/area/brighton/]

*PREVIEW* Bonus Ep.06 - Grogu Time

In this week's bonus episode, Sooz tells Michael what a Grogu is.  Please enjoy this free episode preview, where Sooz has done some research so that she and Michael, both of whom aren't interested in Star Wars, aren't left behind in the pop culture.  If you want to hear the entire episode AND gain access to all of our bonus content, support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]