Chasing Pleasure, Finding Meaning: What I Got Wrong in 7.5 Years of Sobriety

You Can Get Addicted to Weed. It Almost Killed Him | "I Was Smoking Lint Off the Carpet to Get High"

Everyone says weed isn't addictive. Alex is eight years sober and almost didn't make it out. This is the first time he's told the whole thing start to finish. We get into the last 30 days of his using — when he was so deep he couldn't even get high anymore, just chasing a feeling that was already gone. He takes us to his last day: an ice storm, a long drive for weed that wasn't there, and waking up passed out half in a toilet bowl, ribs smashed, realizing how close it got. The part that stuck with me is what came after the drugs stopped: "The war on drugs is over. Now it's the war on self." We talk about the stuff nobody warns you about in long sobriety — isolation that feels safe, cross-addiction (food, work, gaming), men white-knuckling their mental health, and why "it's just weed" is the sentence he trusts the least. If you've ever wondered whether weed can really be a problem — or you're years in and still fighting yourself — this one's for you. What we get into: * Why he couldn't get high no matter how much he used * The one question his uncle asked that he couldn't lie his way out of * Isolation as a "safe place" — and what it costs * Getting sober before legalization, and why he thinks that saved him * The difference between quitting the drug and quitting the war on yourself Recovering Out Loud is peer-led recovery media built on lived experience — real stories of addiction and sobriety. No clinical voice, no guru energy.

Old Ideas: How to Uncover, Discover & Discard What's Keeping You Stuck

Nobody told me that getting sober wasn't the hard part. The hard part was realizing the version of myself I'd been dragging around for years — the beliefs, the patterns, the way I saw the world — most of it wasn't even mine. In this episode, I'm breaking down one of the most important phrases in my recovery: Uncover, Discover, Discard. This isn't a clinical framework — it's how I actually learned to stop being run by ideas I picked up before I ever touched a substance. We're talking about the subconscious operating systems that keep us sick, where they came from, and how to actually let them go — not just white-knuckle through them. I get into the old ideas that still show up in my own life: tying my self-worth to money, earning love through making people laugh, needing everything to be okay on the outside before I can feel okay on the inside. I also talk honestly about how stopping those patterns is exactly what I wasn't doing before I relapsed — and how "Anthony 3.0" is something I'm actively building, not looking back from. In this episode: * What old ideas actually are (hint: they're not opinions, they're operating systems) * The three-phase process: Uncover → Discover → Discard * Why the gap between letting go of the old and finding the new is where most people relapse * Schema theory, ACT therapy, and neuroplasticity — what the research says * How to "borrow" someone else's beliefs until you build your own Listener reflection prompts: * What's one belief you carried into recovery that you picked up long before you ever touched a substance? * When did you first realize a belief you had about yourself wasn't actually yours? * Have you ever discovered where one of your survival strategies originally came from? Recovery is simple. Not easy.

A Mother’s Story of Grief, Faith, and Recovery : I Lost My 1-Year Old In Recovery

Jesse stayed sober after losing her 1-year-old son. A mother's story of recovery, grief, and faith. In December 2022, Jesse hit her rock bottom — a night of drinking and cocaine that ended in an ER waiting room, where she prayed for the first time and asked for help. Four months later, she found out she was pregnant. Her son Jacob — what she calls her miracle baby — became the reason she stayed clean. Last September, Jacob was rushed to the Emergency room. He didn't come home from the hospital. Against every odd, Jesse stayed sober through it. In this conversation, she opens up about what nobody warns you about — the brutal month and a half of Suboxone withdrawal, finding leftover drugs in her home days after the funeral, the moment anger (not strength) saved her from relapsing, and why she now believes recovery was training for grief. In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Jesse opens up about: – The last 30 days of her addiction and the night she prayed in an ER waiting room – Coming off Suboxone (a month and a half of withdrawal she calls worse than cocaine) – Why pregnancy became her head start in recovery – Losing Jacob, and the moment she found leftover drugs in her home days after the funeral – How recovery turned out to be training for grief — both are one day at a time – Faith, anger at the funeral, and praying for "just a little relief" – What real support looks like (the neighbour who didn't ask, she just showed up) – Her honest answer to "worst day sober vs best day drinking" — and why it's not the one you expect FOLLOW JESSIES JOURNEY HERE ON INSTAGRAM [https://www.instagram.com/the_soberfrenchie?igsh=MTh6OWdvcm53NnRmMQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr] 📸 INSTAGRAM: @recoveringoutloudpod [https://www.instagram.com/recoveringoutloudpod] 🌐 WEBSITE: https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod [https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod] — ABOUT RECOVERING OUT LOUD Recovering Out Loud is a peer-led recovery podcast hosted by Anthony — a social work student and person in long-term recovery sharing real stories of addiction and sobriety. No clinical voice. No guru energy. Just lived experience. — If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or grief, please reach out to a local support resource. This podcast is for peer support and storytelling — not a substitute for clinical care. #RecoveryPodcast #SoberStories #AddictionRecovery

Self-Forgiveness in Recovery: Why You Can't Afford to Hate Yourself Sober

Self-forgiveness in addiction recovery is the work nobody markets — because nobody wants to buy it. In this solo episode, Anthony shares why shame is a stronger predictor of relapse than a deterrent, why guilt and shame are not the same emotion, and the 5-step practice he uses to forgive himself one day at a time. After 7.5 years sober, Anthony relapsed in 2024. He came back January 12, 2025. This episode is about what kept him stuck on the way back — and what finally got him off the hook. In this episode: - Why "I'll just feel bad enough to never do it again" doesn't work - Brené Brown's guilt vs. shame distinction — and why it matters for relapse risk - June Tangney's research on shame-proneness and substance misuse - Kristin Neff's three pillars of self-compassion, adapted for recovery - A 5-step self-forgiveness practice you can start today - The "cookie jar" — using your own hardest experiences as proof you can do this Chapter markers: 00:00 Cold Open: The Day I Stopped Trying to Forgive Myself 02:55 Resentment Is Poison: Forgiving Others First 04:55 Welcome to Recovering Out Loud 06:30 Real Check-In: My Struggle With Patience This Week 09:55 Why Self-Forgiveness Is the Hardest Step 12:44 Story 1: Blowing the Money & Relapsing After 7.5 Years 17:47 Guilt vs. Shame — The Distinction That Changes Everything 20:32 The Relapse Reckoning 22:00 What Self-Forgiveness Actually Is (and Isn't) 24:21 The 5-Step Self-Forgiveness Practice 29:17 You Are Not the Worst Thing You Did 31:16 The Cookie Jar: Drawing on Past Wins If you got something out of this, please follow, rate, and share with one person who needs it. — Anthony Host of Recovering Out Loud · Real stories of addiction and recovery, no clinical voice, no guru energy. #RecoveringOutLoud #SoberPodcast #Recovery #SelfForgiveness #Shame

I Used Daily in a Motel For 5 Months: How Two Cops Ended His 32-Year Addiction

Steven spent five months in a hotel room smoking crack, accepting he'd die there. Then his mother asked a judge if he had children — and two cops knocked. The story of one last day. Six and a half years ago, Steven was sitting in a hotel room he hadn't left in five months, smoking crack cocaine in the same clothes he'd been wearing since July. He'd accepted he was going to die there. Two weeks before the end, in a sober moment, he whispered, "Please make this stop." He didn't know who he was talking to. Then his mother sat down with a Justice of the Peace and asked the judge one question: "Do you have children?" Twelve hours after the cops knocked, Steven was in rehab. He's been sober since December 14, 2019. In this episode, Steven walks Anthony through the last day, the Form 2, the divine intervention timeline, and the turning points inside treatment — including the two women who walked in taking responsibility while everyone else played victim, and the counselor who put his hand on Steven's shoulder and said, "I believe you kid, because I tried to quit too." Anthony shares his own relapse map after seven and a half years sober — how it started with body image, became ADHD pills, then cocaine, then benzos. The slow drip. The line: "I emotionally relapsed long before I picked up." They close on current unmanageability — financial insecurity, body image at 52 — and a closing line that does the work of the whole episode. No clinical voice. No experts. Two guys in recovery telling the truth about what it actually took. 🎙️ Recovering Out Loud — peer-led recovery media built on lived experience.