The Hidden Fatique of Grief & Why We're Tired All the Time

You Don't Find Purpose - You Build It

After a personal heartbreak in our lives, we find ourselves not particularly motivated to live forward with a meaningful purpose. Maybe we hope that "some thing" will show up and gives us new motivation to live with purpose. Usually, that's not the case. I am reminded of Andy's line to Red in "The Shawshank Redemption." Andy turned to Red and simply said, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Now, that a bit extreme, but finding purpose and living forward require MOVEMENT on our part. Engaging a meaningful and purpose driven life is not random. It starts with one action, then followed by another, and another, etc.

The Lie of Moving On

They said to me, after my wife died and I was alone with my heartbreak, "It's time to move on." Sounds cruel. It wasn't meant to be cruel, but it felt that way. Grieving isn't something we "move on" from. If it's real grief, you can't moved past it, hude from it, or imagine it away. Beware of the LIE OF MOVING ON.

Living Forward is a Choice

The experience of devastating loss is not something we asked for. Heartbreak, failure, sorrow, disappointment, fear .... we did not ask for these things to shatter our lives. And yet, here we are. Life is asking us two questions: 1) Are we going to stay right where we are, or 2) are we going to live forward? My TEDx talk, back in February, was entitled, "Living Forward is a Choice", and this is not the first time I have entitled a podcast episode with this moniker. Our lives are defined by choices. Regardless of your journey of grief, where are you currently positioned? Are stuck, or are you moving forward?

The First Decision That Starts Your Comeback

The practice of living forward, especially after a life-shattering event, is a choice. For the griever, it is about choices lived one step at a time. It's not about a clear path, but clear step of faith. Are we waiting until we have all the answers? Absolutely not! If we wait until we "think" we have the answers, we'll never start. The comeback about commitment. To commit is hard, but with each step, it increases the momentum. Let's talk about our decisions to begin our comebacks.

When Motivation is Gone .... Now What?

Yes, grief leaves us sapped of our stength, lost in hopelessness, and being unable to do even the most mundane of things. The motivation has seemingly left us. I todays episode we look to a "Choice" of intentional discipline. It's not about many steps. it's not about take a long stride. It's about choosing to take one step, the first step, not because we're motivated but because we must. It only take ONE, but we need a RESOLVE mindset to do that which we don't feel like doing. Let's take about the unsuspected killer of our will to Live Forward. The motivation that won't seem to come.