122: The Hungry Heart: Why Real Porn Recovery Requires More Than Discipline

127: The Red Zone - Why Porn Recovery Feels So Chaotic Until You Understand This

Most men trying to quit porn focus almost entirely on stopping the behavior… but underneath the struggle is often something much deeper: a dysregulated inner world full of suppressed emotions, negative thoughts, and unmet heart hunger. In this episode, Shawn unpacks the Red Zone and explores what it actually looks like to understand the deeper patterns driving your porn struggle. This conversation dives into emotional suppression, nervous system dysregulation, and heart hunger — and how true freedom begins through clarity and self-awareness instead of shame and reaction. In this episode: * why finding clarity changes everything for porn recovery * how suppressed emotions fuel unhealthy patterns leading to relapse * the connection between thoughts, reactions, and heart hunger * what keeps many men stuck in cycles of overwhelm and confusion when trying to quit porn * how to start identifying what’s actually happening underneath your urges * why lasting freedom requires more than behavior management If you’ve ever tried to stop porn… but still found yourself confused, reactive, or stuck in the same cycles, this episode will help things start making sense. 👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:secrethabit.ca/quiz [secrethabit.ca/quiz] 👉 Want help applying this to your specific situation? Book a complimentary strategy call:secrethabit.ca/call [secrethabit.ca/call] Shawn coaches Christian men to move from confusion and coping into clarity, confidence, and real freedom. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday morning.

126: Porn Triggers, Understanding Your Sexuality, and Healing Your Inner Boy | Drew Boa

Most men trying to quit porn focus almost entirely on behavior, but underneath the struggle is often a much deeper story involving emotional wounds, unmet heart hunger, shame, confusion, and misunderstood sexuality. In this powerful conversation, Shawn sits down with Drew Boa - founder of Husband Material and author of Outgrow Porn, to unpack a radically different approach to porn recovery rooted in emotional honesty, nervous system regulation, Godly sexuality, and intimacy with Jesus Together, they explore why lasting freedom comes through understanding your story and desires instead of simply fighting your urges. This episode dives into: * why porn triggers often reveal something deeper underneath * the difference between natural sexual arousal and emotional triggering (hysterical means historical) * how understanding your story reduces shame and confusion (the boy behind the curtain) * Drew’s approach to inner child work and root healing * how to process porn urges instead of panicking or suppressing them (BOA approach) * practical tools that help when you feel overwhelmed or triggered to watch porn * what it means to collaborate with your sexuality instead of constantly fighting it * how emotional regulation changes porn recovery * why many Christian men fear or misunderstand sexuality * the connection between heart hunger, healing, and intimacy with Jesus * how humility, honesty, and curiosity create lasting transformation One of the most freeing parts of this conversation is the realization that your sexuality is not the enemy, and your struggle makes far more sense than you think it does. If you’ve ever felt trapped in shame, confused by your triggers, exhausted from relapse cycles, or unsure how to experience real freedom in Christ, this episode will help things start making sense. 📚 CONNECT WITH DREW BOA 🌐 Husband Material: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/ [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/] 📖 Get the book Outgrow Porn: https://www.outgrowporn.com/ [https://www.outgrowporn.com/] 🎙️ Listen to the Husband Material Podcast: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/podcast [https://www.husbandmaterial.com/podcast] 🔍 WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S ACTUALLY DRIVING YOUR STRUGGLE? Take the Clarity Quiz: 👉 https://secrethabit.ca/quiz [https://secrethabit.ca/quiz] This free assessment helps you identify the deeper emotional patterns, heart hunger, and inner struggles that may be fueling your porn habits, so you can stop guessing and start moving forward with clarity. 🤝 WANT PERSONAL HELP APPLYING THIS TO YOUR SITUATION? Book a complimentary strategy call: 👉https://secrethabit.ca/call [https://secrethabit.ca/call] Shawn coaches Christian men to move from confusion and coping into clarity, confidence, and real freedom. New podcast episodes drop every Monday and Friday morning. MORE ABOUT DREW BOA: Drew Boa is the author of Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle—A Man's Guide to Healing. He is also the founder and CEO of Husband Material Ministries [https://husbandmaterial.com/]. Drew is passionate about changing brains, healing hearts, and saving relationships affected by porn. In 2015, Drew received his MA in Christian Formation & Ministry from Wheaton College Graduate School. Since then, he has completed training as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP), Certified Brainspotting Practitioner (BSP), Unwanted Guide, and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew offers specialized guidance to outgrow porn through coaching, leading groups, hosting retreats, and speaking. Drew enjoys living in Colorado and going on adventures with his wife and kids. Learn more at drewboa.com [https://drewboa.com/]

125: Why I Changed My Approach to Porn Recovery

Most men trying to quit porn aren’t lacking discipline. They’re overwhelmed, disconnected from their inner world, and applying solutions to a problem they don’t fully understand. In this episode, I share more about the transition happening inside my coaching and the way I help guys. I do a deeper dive on what I’ve learned after spending over 2,000 coaching hours helping men pursue freedom from porn. Check it out to hear more about: * why clarity changes recovery * why strategy and hard work only matter if you know what the problem is * the deeper role of the hungry heart and how scripture talks about it as the source * why many men struggle with suppression more than severe trauma * how intimacy with Jesus transforms healing * why confidence grows when you understand what to do and how to do it * how its not sobriety from porn that creates lasting freedom, its clarity, strategy and confidence If recovery has felt confusing, overwhelming, or like you’re constantly trying harder without understanding why, this episode will help things start making sense. If you want a quick insight into what your heart is hungry for, 👉 Take the Clarity Quiz: ⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠] 👉 Want help becoming a man of clarity, strategy and confidence? Book a complimentary call with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠⁠⁠⁠] New episodes drop every Monday and Friday morning to help you understand the real issue underneath porn addiction so you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and freedom.

124: Humility and Heart Hunger: A Christ-Centered Approach to Healing Porn Addiction

Most men trying to quit porn focus almost entirely on behavior, but underneath the struggle is often something much deeper: A hungry heart longing to be filled by God instead of numbed through escape. In this episode, Shawn and Helena unpack humility, surrender, and what it actually looks like to let Jesus meet the deeper places of your heart. Using Andrew Murray’s book Humility: The Beauty of Holiness as a foundation, this conversation explores how real freedom grows through dependence on God, intimacy with the Holy Spirit, and learning to empty ourselves of self-reliance so we can be filled with truth and life. In this episode: * why heart hunger matters in porn recovery * how humility creates space for healing and freedom with Jesus * Helena’s story of coming out of depression through surrender and filling herself with Christ * the difference between suppressing desire and bringing it to God * how intimacy with Jesus changes porn recovery, marriage, and parenting * why lasting freedom from porn requires more than discipline alone -- If you’ve ever known what you should do… but still struggled to trust God deeply in your recovery journey, this episode will help things start making sense. 👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:secrethabit.ca/quiz [secrethabit.ca/quiz] --- 👉 Want help applying this to your specific situation?Book a complimentary strategy call:secrethabit.ca/call [secrethabit.ca/call] Shawn coaches Christian men to move from confusion and coping into clarity, confidence, and real freedom. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday morning. --- Resource mentioned: Humility Book [https://www.amazon.com/Humility-Journey-Holiness-Andrew-Murray/dp/076422560X] Messenger X [https://messengerx.com/] Spotify Audiobook [https://open.spotify.com/album/2Uj2IaojATXzech6TivXwf?si=j_PzK2iQRKe0Wv4pQdWa-g]

123: You’re Not Addicted to Porn. You’re Disconnected From Your Inner World

“I’ve tried to quit, so why do I keep going back?” In this episode, I'll break down why your struggle with porn isn’t actually about discipline or motivation — and what’s really going on underneath it. You’ll learn: * why behavior isn’t the real problem * what your “inner world” actually is (in a simple way) * how disconnection drives the cycle * and why understanding your heart hunger changes everything I dropped a BONUS in the episode :) I shared about how you can play the The Heart Hunger Game for MAX awareness and effectiveness 👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/] If you’re listening to this and realizing you’re tired of feeling stuck or unclear I want to invite you into a conversation. On this call, we’ll slow things down and get clear on what’s actually driving your struggle, so you can see the path forward and know what it’s going to take to create real change. But this is for men who are ready to take ownership and do the work. If that’s you, you can book a complimentary call here: 👉⁠ secrethabit.ca/call⁠ [ secrethabit.ca/call] If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠ [https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/]