The Holistic Counselor
Hello there, fearfully and wonderfully made human, and welcome back to The Holistic Counselor Podcast. In Episode 105, I sit down with Tracy Nallery Fultz, a licensed clinical social worker, author, and founder of Heartfelt Needs Counseling and Caring Center, for one of the most honest, clinically grounded, and faith-centered conversations we've had on the show. This episode is for anyone who: * Loves Jesus but feels confused, shamed, or silenced by church culture * Is trying to disentangle biblical truth from purity culture, fear-based teaching, or spiritual control * Has experienced church hurt, sexual shame, or unresolved grief * Wants to integrate faith, mental health, nervous system regulation, and emotional honesty—without abandoning Christ This is not about tearing faith down. It is about discernment, healing, and learning how to hold faith and humanity together in a healthier, more honest way. Together, Tracy and I talk openly about: * Prolonged singleness and desire * Disenfranchised grief (the grief no one names or validates) * Shame vs. guilt vs. conviction * Purity culture wounds and sexual silence in Christian spaces * Using the Fruit of the Spirit as a practical mental-health framework * Why relationship with God matters more than rigid religious rules * How nervous system dysregulation impacts choices, sexuality, and self-control * Why mercy, not fear, is central to healing If you've ever felt like you had to choose between being a "good Christian" and being a real human—this conversation is for you. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE * What disenfranchised grief really is—and why it affects single adults, survivors, and people leaving high-control religious systems * Why desire and arousal are not sinful, but often misunderstood * How shame becomes an identity attack, not just an emotion * The difference between religion-based condemnation and relationship-based conviction * How to reframe self-care as biblical self-stewardship, not selfishness * Why joy is not constant happiness—but a condition of the soul * How trauma, church hurt, and nervous system dysregulation affect sexual behavior * How to apply Galatians 5:22–23 (Fruit of the Spirit) to therapy, self-talk, and boundaries POWERFUL QUOTES FROM THE EPISODE Tracy Nallery Fultz * "Disenfranchised grief is the grief we carry that no one acknowledges—especially the grief of waiting." * "Desire is normal, natural, healthy, and good. The problem isn't desire—it's the environment around it." * "Shame as a feeling is one thing. A spirit of shame comes for your identity." * "Happiness is an emotion. Joy is a condition of your soul." * "Weakness is not your identity. It's an indicator that something is needed." * "Religion says condemnation. Relationship says mercy triumphs over judgment." Diana S. Rice * "This isn't about deconstruction. It's about discernment and healing." * "You have to stop and ask—did this belief come from Scripture, or from someone using Scripture to control you?" * "People think they have no choice—but you always have a choice." * "Self-control is about agency, not punishment." * "Faith without nervous system regulation is incomplete healing." USING THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT AS A HEALING FRAMEWORK Tracy breaks down Galatians 5:22–23 in a clinically practical way: * Love → Unconditional self-acceptance * Joy → Meaning and gratitude even while grieving * Peace → Grounding and calming the nervous system * Patience → Allowing healing to be slow and non-linear * Kindness → Gentle self-talk instead of self-attack * Goodness → Choosing habits aligned with values * Faithfulness → Showing up for yourself consistently * Gentleness → Soothing the inner critic with empathy * Self-Control → Boundaries, agency, and intentional choices Reflection Question: Which fruit do you need most right now—and how can you practice it toward yourself today? RESOURCES MENTIONED (WORKING LINKS) * My Journey Solo – Book & Devotional (Tracy Nallery Fultz): https://heartfeltneeds.myflodesk.com/myjourneysolo [https://heartfeltneeds.myflodesk.com/myjourneysolo] * Heartfelt Needs Counseling & Caring Center: https://heartfeltneeds.com [https://heartfeltneeds.com/] * Heartfelt Needs on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HeartFeltNeeds/ * Heartfelt Needs on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heartfeltneeds * Free Journaling Hour Community (Monthly, First Tuesday): Details available through Tracy's website and email list SUPPORT THE PODCAST (AD-FREE & INDEPENDENT) The Holistic Counselor Podcast is intentionally ad-free so these conversations can stay ethical, trauma-informed, and faith-centered. If this episode helped you, you can support the show by visiting the merch shop: https://theholisticcounselorpodcast.printful.me/ Your support helps keep this podcast going without compromising its mission. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Reviews help more people find this work—especially those quietly struggling with faith, shame, and healing. DISCLAIMER The Holistic Counselor Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, mental health, or professional counseling advice. Listening does not establish a therapist-client relationship with Diana S. Rice or any guest. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or feel unsafe, please contact your local emergency services or a qualified mental health professional. Remember: Trust in the Lord. Guard your heart. Renew your mind.
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