Welcome to The Me I’m Becoming Podcast

Bonus Episode: Grieving the Person You Could Have Been

In this bonus episode, I open up about something many survivors experience but rarely have words for: grieving the person you could have been if abuse never happened. I talk about lost potential, resentment, healing, creativity, and the complicated emotions that come with rebuilding your life after survival. I also share the concept of ambiguous grief - mourning the future, confidence, and version of yourself that was stolen by trauma. If you’ve ever felt behind in life because of what you went through, this episode is for you.

The Relationships Trauma Recreates

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about what dating looked like after escaping decades of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse - and how trauma can unconsciously draw us toward relationships that feel familiar, even when they hurt us. I share the story of a relationship that mirrored many of the painful dynamics I experienced growing up, the psychological reasons survivors often confuse chaos with love, and why healthy love can initially feel unfamiliar… even “boring.” This episode was inspired by a conversation I recently had with a dear friend who has quickly become a driving force in my life and healing journey. If you’ve ever struggled with trauma bonds, repeating painful patterns, or learning to choose peace over survival mode, this episode is for you.

The Loneliness Trauma Creates

In this episode of “The Me I’m Becoming,” I talk about the loneliness trauma creates after narcissistic abuse and how hyper-independence can become a survival response. For years, I believed being alone was safer than trusting people after being repeatedly hurt, discarded and made to feel “too much” for loving deeply. I open up about the friendships and connections that have recently started healing my nervous system, changing the way I view community, love and emotional safety. I also discuss the impact safe connection has not only on our mental health, but our physical health too - and why healing doesn’t always happen in isolation. If you struggle to trust people after abuse, this episode is for you. Your fear makes sense. But your community is out there… and the right people will never punish you for being loving.

Some people meet you in survival. Very few know how to meet you in freedom.

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about the painful reality that not everybody who walked beside you in survival will be able to walk with you in freedom. Healing from abuse changes you. Your standards become higher, your peace becomes sacred, and you begin noticing the people who genuinely celebrate your growth… and those who quietly resent it. I share my experience of cutting off someone I loved deeply after realising that surviving together does not always mean growing together. This episode is about grief, healing, boundaries, envy, expansion, and the difficult truth that some people only knew how to connect with the broken version of you. Some people meet you in survival. Very few know how to meet you in freedom.

Missing the Mother I Never Had

This episode is for the survivors who struggle silently around Mother’s Day. After six months away from the podcast, I wanted to come back with an honest conversation about the complicated grief that can come with being no contact with an abusive mother or family. In this episode, I open up about the emotions this time of year brings up for me personally - the sadness, anger, grief, flashbacks, and the feeling of mourning a relationship that never truly existed in the way it should have. I also talk about what has helped me navigate these triggers, including journalling, allowing myself to feel emotions instead of suppressing them, and learning that healing isn’t linear. If Mother’s Day is painful for you, I hope this episode reminds you that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone. Thank you for being here and for allowing me to reconnect with this community again after some time away. Trigger warning: discussions of emotional abuse, trauma, grief, flashbacks, and family estrangement.