Stop Thinking About Yourself

Sit In the State of Unknowing

_*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> Most people treat uncertainty like a problem to be solved. It isn't. It's a muscle to be built. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> At our 15th anniversary dinner, Amy did something I thought was interesting. She left her phone at the hotel. But throughout the night, without thinking, she kept reaching for a phone that wasn't there. It happened so often we started laughing at ourselves. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> We had trained our brains to reach for certainty the moment anything felt unclear. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> John Keats had a name for the antidote: Negative Capability. The discipline of sitting with uncertainty, doubt, and mystery instead of running from it. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> "You don't have to solve the uncertainty. You just have to learn to sit in it." _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> Scrolling feels better than sitting with an uncomfortable thought. Checking feels better than waiting. But what's waiting on the other side of that discomfort, a real conversation, a creative idea, an honest emotion you've been avoiding, is usually worth far more than whatever you found on your phone. div]:bg-bg-000/50 [&_pre>div]:border-0.5 [&_pre>div]:border-border-400 [&_.ignore-pre-bg>div]:bg-transparent [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8"> _*]:min-w-0 gap-3 standard-markdown"> Test yourself today. Leave your phone somewhere out of reach and notice how often you think about it. That's your baseline. Get John's book, Optimistic Outlook, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/ [https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/]

Muster the Motivation

A rainy Saturday. A 14-year-old who didn't feel like it. A dad who didn't either. They went anyway. The workout wasn't the hardest one. It was the most important one, because it was a chance to show what it looks like to act differently than you feel. That's a lesson no classroom delivers. "Remember the feeling of finishing something hard. You'll need it the next time your feelings tell you to quit before you've even started." Nobody outgrows the need for accountability. And nobody always feels like it at the start. 📖 Grab the book: Optimistic Outlook on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/]

Toughness is a Decision

You aren't born tough. You learn it, and more importantly, you choose it. John Harbaugh said it best: when you decide you're willing to be tough, the doubters and detractors have no power over you. The path was never promised to be paved. The relationship was never going to be only sunsets and rainbows. Everything meaningful requires toughness at some point. "Toughness is a decision. And if you decide to make it, you cannot be defeated." The only question is whether you'll decide to train for it before that moment comes. 📖 Grab the book: Optimistic Outlook on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/]

Refuse to Ruin It

_*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> Everything good eventually comes to a close. But most people don't wait for good things to end. They end them early, because they're afraid they won't last. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> Si Woo Kim birdied 5 of his first 7 holes at the CJ Cup Byron Nelson. That's the moment most people ruin it. The mind starts doing math. It starts protecting instead of playing. He didn't listen. He kept attacking and nearly shot 59. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> "Don't ruin something good just because you're afraid it won't last." _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> When your mind whispers that it can't last, refuse to listen. Let it get all the way to 18. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> 📖 Grab the book: Optimistic Outlook on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/]

The End of an Era

What started the Optimistic Outlook is officially coming to an end. In this episode, John shares the story behind the newsletter, the 15-minute school drive that became a daily ritual, a college professor's hotline that changed the routine, and the two moments a 10-year-old named Lucy said exactly the right thing. Three hundred episodes later, the morning drive is almost over. But the seed she planted is very much alive. "You control two things today. What are they?" / "My attitude and effort." If this newsletter has added any value to your life, thank Lucy. She's the reason it exists. Pick up John's book, Optimistic Outlook, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/ [https://www.amazon.com/Optimistic-Outlook-Lessons-Important-Muscle/dp/B0G4R5VJH1/]