SCREA|V|: it's neVER gonNA hapPEN aGAIN, Chaaaaahd

THE 23RD PSALM: you didn't marklar fuck the marklar?

Charlie has a terrible poker face. Claire sets boundaries. Eko converts. Yemi solves the mystery. Michael cybers. Sun & Jin are too nice to Ana Lucia who suuuuuuuuuucks. Sawyer visits Seville. Jack tries and fails to be comforting.

SCARY MOVIE 2: i bet she tosses a mean salad

Four reanimated corpses are easily tricked by a professor into visiting a haunted house for what started as a school project, but that plot is quickly abandoned, and no one mentioned it after that particular scene.

WHAT KATE DID: something, something, something, subtitle

Kate commits arson. Sawyer's clueless. Michael is unsupervised. Jack is a logger. Eko is a prophet. Jin is set free. Ana Lucia barely shows up, but she still suuuuuuuuuucks.

SCREA|V|: it's neVER gonNA hapPEN aGAIN, Chaaaaahd

Another fucking killer follows survivors (and people we have no emotional connection to) of the Ghostface murders to New York City, and this movie's quite unnecessary.

COLLISION: you can tell he's a killer just by his hair

Sayid loves bondage. Rose & Bernard go interracial. Sun & Jin remember love. Michael grows some balls. Libby is a therapist. Season 2 is essentially over. Ana Lucia has a point, but she still suuuuuuuuuuucks.