Boundaries - the Importance of Internal Clarity

Moving from Obligatory to Optional

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2554474/fan_mail/new] Karen shares an experience she had where she had to make a very hard choice to say no to her father's deathbed wish regarding her supporting another family member. Her process of moving from guilt to love in this situation helped her see that it has far reaching impacts in all of her life.  Some of the things we touch on:  * The shift from obligatory to optional in how we evaluate how we are spending our time and our emotional energy * Navigating the emotions that can come up with letting go of these expectations, of ourselves and of our relationships * The importance and difficulty of accepting "what is" in life * How grief and relief can exist in the same space * Being driven by guilt or doing something because of love - and the freedom and healing that can come from recognizing you have a choice * Love is everything and it magnifies the healing of every choice we make * Saying no when you are coming from a place of obligation is more loving than showing up with guilt or an empty tank * That we don't always have to choose to be nice * Moving from obligation to choice is relevant in the day to day and the big things in life * Having to work through something over time doesn't always mean it is the wrong thing to do - it might not be hell yes or no * There can be healing in the reflection time we spend thinking through something that challenges who we think we are or how we show up in the world - especially if you have competing values * Values change over time, and sometimes our struggles help us see a shift in values * We can always add "right now" to the difficult choices we have to make in recognition that things are always changing Chapters 00:00 Navigating Complex Emotions in Midlife 07:42 The Shift from Obligation to Choice 12:41 Understanding Values and Decision-Making 17:53 Evolving Values in the Sandwich Generation If our messy is your kind of messy, we would love for you to rate, review and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.  We would also love to know what is on your mind. If you were to join us, what would we be talking about? Email us at messymidlifepodcast@gmail.com or message us on Instagram or TikTok @messymidlifepodcast.

Doing the Things We Struggle to Do For Ourselves

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2554474/fan_mail/new] We've talked together previously about blocks that stop us from doing what we know we need, in all areas of our lives. On this episode, we touch back on some of our struggles and Aliza shares some of the shifts she's experienced recently that have helped her move forward. We talk about: * The fear that something we're counting on to help us won't really help * How do we not lose hope? * Being gentle with ourselves and not self-blaming * How emotions, overwhelm, fear all play into our blocks - sometimes we can't handle even one more thing to do * Blocks are not self-sabotage - there are legitimate and valid reasons for them * The work that we do on ourselves and our belief systems doesn't always show up immediately with the results we want, but it's the foundation for allowing obstacles to clear - the layers that build on each other are the magic * Change isn't linear, and we can fluctuate between the different stages of change * We don't have to beat ourselves up about not making a change sooner...we can be proud of ourselves for the change happening when it did * The relief that finally comes with acceptance Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Resistance in Self-Care 01:27 Understanding Personal Blocks to Health 04:19 Exploring Emotional Connections to Health Decisions 08:07 The Role of Self-Sabotage in Healing 10:34 The Journey of Letting Go and Moving Forward 13:04 Stages of Change in Personal Growth 15:51 Acceptance and Non-Attachment to Outcomes 19:02 Finding Freedom in Acceptance 26:44 Conclusion and Future Outlook If our messy is your kind of messy, we would love for you to rate, review and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.  We would also love to know what is on your mind. If you were to join us, what would we be talking about? Email us at messymidlifepodcast@gmail.com or message us on Instagram or TikTok @messymidlifepodcast.

After the Surgery: Jenn's Healing Journey Insights on Endometriosis & Recovery

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2554474/fan_mail/new] The whole gang's back together again!  Jenn returns from her surgery recovery and shares her recent experience with endometriosis surgery, recovery, and all of the emotional and physical implications. She reflects on the importance of community support, self-care, and trusting our intuition in navigating complex health decisions. Today, we touch on: * Jenn’s decision to proceed with the hysterectomy and ovarian removal. * The healing validation that comes from this surgery. * Trusting that we are making the best decision that we can with the information that we have available at the time, regardless of the outcome. * Navigating medication, hormonal changes & treatment options post-surgery. * The sneaky nature of endometriosis. * The emotional impact of losing reproductive organs. * Coaching ourselves through the patience necessary for recovery from major abdominal surgery. * The blessing that is community support during recovery and midlife. * Leveraging health challenges to reset mindset, values, and clarity regarding meaningful priorities to shake up those old, automatic habits and patterns that no longer serve us.   * Practical tips for recovery, including the use of supportive accessories like hysterectomy pillows for comfort and as reminders to slow down.   Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates 01:35 Surgery Insights and Decisions 07:11 Pathology Report and Validation 10:24 Navigating Post-Surgery Emotions 15:14 Hormone Replacement Therapy Discussion 17:58 Understanding Lab Results Post-Surgery 20:44 Community Support and Personal Growth 30:00 Resetting Priorities and Values Resources & Links: * Hysterectomy Pillow - https://a.co/d/0aKUvSHb If our messy is your kind of messy, we would love for you to rate, review and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.  We would also love to know what is on your mind. If you were to join us, what would we be talking about? Email us at messymidlifepodcast@gmail.com or message us on Instagram or TikTok @messymidlifepodcast.

Boundaries - the Importance of Internal Clarity

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2554474/fan_mail/new] Just Aliza and Karen today while Jenn is recovering from surgery. Today we needed to process setting boundaries that work for us.  We touch on:  * People can't respect your boundaries if you don't set them for yourself * The energetic impact of having clarity on your boundaries for yourself * When we are clear on our boundaries, we no longer need to justify what we are asking for - we can simply ask * Do we have to have an experience with an unstated boundary being crossed to get clarity * Clarity allows us to show up in relationships and enforcing boundaries in executive mode rather than in survival or emotional mode (and executive mode is much more effective) * Boundaries can become clear to you in real time while you are seeing it crossed * Setting boundaries don't have to have judgment associated with them - what doesn't work for you might be desired by someone else * How our flimsy boundaries are based on people pleasing and putting other people's comfort and desires ahead of ourselves  * The role of intuition and tending to our body and internal cues in gaining clarity in our boundaries * The role of the resounding yes in understanding our boundaries * Boundaries within ourselves about the expectations we have in relationship * The sacred pause and its role in understanding boundaries Chapters 00:00 Setting Boundaries in Midlife 03:57 The Power of Personal Boundaries 09:24 Clarity and Communication in Relationships 16:19 The Good Girl Phenomenon 22:14 Finding Peace with Boundaries 25:44 Embracing the 'No' in Our Lives If our messy is your kind of messy, we would love for you to rate, review and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.  We would also love to know what is on your mind. If you were to join us, what would we be talking about? Email us at messymidlifepodcast@gmail.com or message us on Instagram or TikTok @messymidlifepodcast.

Emotionally Prepping for Hysterectomy

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2554474/fan_mail/new] Jenn talks through her preparations for her upcoming hysterectomy and oopherectomy.  We talk about: * Our expectations of ourselves while healing * How we relate to our health conditions and treatments/surgeries * The positives that have come from having endometriosis  * Being OK with uncertainty going into surgery and coming out of it * The surprising emotional impact of removing the uterus and ovaries compared to other surgeries * Being able to bid farewell to a part of our bodies/selves that is no longer serving us, even if it was part of the best things in your life at one point Chapters 00:00 Facing Surgery: A Personal Journey 02:45 Emotional Reflections on Hysterectomy 04:49 Navigating Recovery and Expectations 07:38 The Psychological Impact of Surgery 10:17 Finding Positives in Adversity 13:00 The Importance of Language in Medical Choices 15:32 The Significance of the Uterus in Identity 18:25 Preparing for Change and New Beginnings If our messy is your kind of messy, we would love for you to rate, review and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.  We would also love to know what is on your mind. If you were to join us, what would we be talking about? Email us at messymidlifepodcast@gmail.com or message us on Instagram or TikTok @messymidlifepodcast.