021: Sex, Good Sex, and Sacred Sex: Why Your Best Intimacy May Still Be Ahead of You

021: Sex, Good Sex, and Sacred Sex: Why Your Best Intimacy May Still Be Ahead of You

Is all sex created equal? In this thought-provoking conversation, Jennifer sits down with psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Bruce Chalmer to explore the difference between sex, good sex, and sacred sex, and why intimacy may be the missing ingredient many couples are searching for. Drawing from more than 30 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Chalmer explains why great sex isn't about performance, technique, or getting everything "right." Instead, it starts with presence, honesty, vulnerability, and the willingness to tolerate a little discomfort. Together, Jennifer and Dr. Chalmer discuss how intimacy creates deeper connection, why communication is more than just learning the right words, and how couples can navigate desire differences with grace rather than resentment. They also explore the concept of sacred sex, those rare moments when sexual connection becomes something larger than ourselves and connects us to meaning, spirituality, and awe. Whether you're in a long-term relationship, navigating midlife changes, or simply curious about creating more connection in your intimate life, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on what truly makes sex fulfilling. In This Episode: ✨ The difference between sex, good sex, and sacred sex ✨ Why intimacy requires vulnerability and the ability to tolerate anxiety ✨ How couples unintentionally lose connection ✨ The role communication plays in creating better sex ✨ Responsive desire and why "not in the mood" doesn't always mean no ✨ Why lubrication, toys, and sexual tools are nothing to be ashamed of ✨ Common misunderstandings men and women have about sex ✨ Why many people experience their best sex later in life ✨ How maturity can lead to deeper intimacy and connection ✨ The powerful relationship philosophy: "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith" About Dr. Bruce ChalmerDr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist who has spent more than three decades helping couples build stronger, more connected relationships. He is the author of several books, including Reigniting the Spark, It's Not About Communication!, The Passion Paradox, and Betrayal and Forgiveness. He is also co-host of the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast with his wife, Judy Alexander. Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer🌐 Website: Bruce Chalmer Official Website [https://brucechalmer.com/] 🎙️ Podcast: Couples Therapy in Seven Words [https://ctin7.com] Connect with Jennifer🌐 Summers of Love 📱 Follow Jennifer for conversations about sex, intimacy, pleasure, menopause, and living fully in every stage of life.

020: How the “Good Girl” Archetype Is Secretly Killing Your Relationship

What if the very behaviors that made you feel lovable are the same ones disconnecting you from intimacy, desire, and authentic connection? In this powerful episode of SIP with Summers, Jennifer sits down with relationship and feminine embodiment coach Bella Krutik to unpack how “good girl conditioning” quietly shapes women’s relationships, boundaries, sexuality, and sense of self. Bella shares her deeply personal story of reconciling with her ex-husband years after divorce, and how embodiment work, nervous system regulation, and radical self-awareness transformed not only her relationship… but her relationship with herself. Together, Jennifer and Bella explore: * People pleasing and lack of boundaries * Why over-functioning kills attraction * The connection between authenticity and libido * Nervous system regulation and intimacy * Emotional safety vs. emotional avoidance * The “roommate phase” in long-term relationships * Feminine embodiment and reconnecting to your body * How “good girls” become emotionally unavailable * Why pleasure requires vulnerability Plus, Bella guides listeners through a beautiful grounding and presence exercise you can try yourself. This episode is for every woman who has ever felt disconnected, resentful, emotionally shut down, or stuck performing a version of herself that no longer fits. Connect with Bella:Instagram: @bellakcoaching [ https://www.instagram.com/bellakcoaching/⁠] Head to Bella's Instagram page and either book a discovery call or download her freebies (these include a Relationship Reconnection guide and Pleasure Playlist to help you move into pleasure before a date night). Connect with Jennifer: 🌐 Summers of Love [https://summersoflove.com/] 🎙️ All of her social links and upcoming events [https://linktr.ee/TheSelfMadeDiva]

019: Pleasure at Every Size: Reclaiming Desire, Confidence, and Connection in the Body You Have Now

Pleasure is not a reward. It is a right. ⁠Book a session⁠⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | ⁠⁠Join The Self Love Club⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | ⁠⁠Ask me anything⁠⁠ [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | ⁠⁠Shop enhancement products⁠⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | ⁠⁠Shop TOYS! ⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] In this episode of SIP With Summers, we are talking about pleasure at every size and why your body, exactly as it is today, is already capable of deep, satisfying, toe-curling pleasure. If you have ever thought: • “I need to lose weight first.” • “My body gets in the way.” • “I should hide myself during sex.” • “Sex isn’t as good in a bigger body.” This episode is for you. We are dismantling shame, debunking myths, and replacing them with real tools, real education, and real permission to feel sexy, powerful, and desirable right now. • Why pleasure is not conditional on body size or appearance • How shame shuts down arousal and how to gently release it • Body neutrality and why you do not have to love your body to enjoy pleasure • Simple embodiment practices that reconnect you to sensation • Pleasure anatomy basics, including why the clitoris is way bigger than you were taught • How plus-size bodies are not a barrier to pleasure, they are a pathway • Lube, toys, props, and positioning that support comfort and access • The best positions and pleasure hacks for plus-size and midlife bodies • How to ask for comfort and support in bed without killing the vibe • Three things you can try tonight to increase pleasure immediately This is a shame-free, judgment-free conversation designed to help you feel more at home in your body and more confident asking for what feels good. I work with women and couples through intimacy coaching, body confidence, low desire, perimenopause and menopause transitions, and communication around pleasure. Coaching is available virtually and in person. I also host Sex-Ed Meets Stand-Up toy parties that are educational, fun, spicy, and inclusive of every body. If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a five-star review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Your body is not a problem to solve. Your body is a pleasure source waiting to be explored.

018: Ask the Sexologist: Painful Sex, Desire Mismatch, G-Spot Myths & More

Real, anonymous questions about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and everything we were never properly taught. Book a session⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | ⁠Join The Self Love Club⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | ⁠Ask me anything⁠ [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | ⁠Shop enhancement products⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | ⁠Shop TOYS! [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] From painful sex without lube to why the G-spot can feel elusive, this episode is packed with practical, sex-positive education you can actually use. No shame, no fluff, just honest answers and tools that help you feel more confident in your body and your relationships. In this episode, we cover: • Why sex can suddenly feel painful without lube, even if it never used to • How arousal, aging, and perimenopause affect natural lubrication • Why lubrication increases pleasure, comfort, and sexual health • Recommended books for healing intimacy and deepening desire • What the G-spot really is and why it can be hard to stimulate consistently • How breath, mindset, and warming up the body support stronger orgasms • Why rushing foreplay makes orgasms harder, not easier • How to get out of your head and back into your body during sex • What to do when partners have mismatched libidos • Why intimacy does not always have to mean penetration • How toys can support connection, not replace it • Best positions and pleasure tips when trying to conceive • Body confidence, lights-off sex, and easing sexual insecurity • Simple, approachable ways to initiate intimacy and try new things Jennifer also shares practical tools like breathing techniques, foreplay timing ideas, pleasure-first mindset shifts, and ways couples can communicate more openly about their needs without pressure or guilt. If you have ever wondered “Is this normal?” this episode is for you. ✨ Have a question you want answered on the show? Submit anonymously at www.selfmadediva.com [www.selfmadediva.com] If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review, share it with a friend, or send it to that group chat that definitely needs it. Stay curious. Stay turned on. And as always, keep sipping. 🍷

017: Ask the Sexologist: Libido, Menopause, Orgasms, and Real Talk

Low libido. Stress. Menopause questions. Orgasms that feel impossible. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Book a session [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | Join The Self Love Club [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | Elevated lubricant for 40+ women [https://summersoflove.com/products/water-based-lubricant-elevated?_pos=1&_psq=ele&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | Vulva balm [https://summersoflove.com/products/enchanted-rose-vulva-balm?_pos=1&_psq=rose&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | Ask me anything [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | Best intimate shaving cream [https://summersoflove.com/products/coochy-conditioning-shave-cream?_pos=1&_psq=cooc&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | The Herpes Plug [https://www.tiktok.com/@coachshanasingleton?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] | Shop enhancement products [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | Shop TOYS! [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] In this solo Q&A episode of SIP With Summers, board-certified sexologist and menopause coach Jennifer Marie Summers answers your anonymous questions about desire, stress, orgasms, menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, sleep issues, body hair, herpes disclosure, and so much more. We talk about why anxiety kills desire, why foreplay matters more than you were ever taught, what’s actually happening in your body during perimenopause, and why not orgasming from penetration is completely normal. You’ll learn: • How to get in the mood without pills or supplements • Why stress directly affects libido and arousal • What helps with vaginal dryness and painful sex during menopause • When fertility actually ends and what perimenopause really looks like • Why so many women struggle to orgasm and what actually helps • How to talk to partners about pleasure, STIs, and shame-free sex This is sex education without judgment, medical shame, or whispering. You’re not broken. You might just need better information and support. 💬 Have a question you’re afraid to ask out loud? Submit it anonymously at selfmadediva.com [https://www.selfmadediva.com/] and it may be featured in a future episode.