Ep 22 | Ruth’s Story Part 3 – DRC: The Cost of Staying

Ep 22 | Ruth’s Story Part 3 – DRC: The Cost of Staying

This is why she chose to stay. In this final chapter of Ruth’s oral history from the Democratic Republic of the Congo 🇨🇩, she reflects on life in Goma under rebel control, raising a young daughter alone, and surviving a conflict that has shaped nearly every stage of her life. Ruth remembers fleeing violence in Walikale as a child, only to experience war again in Goma years later. Today, she lives in a city where insecurity remains part of daily life, opportunities are scarce, and many families stay not because they feel safe—but because they have nowhere else to go. As a single mother, Ruth speaks candidly about judgment, poverty, interrupted education, and the challenges of caring for her daughter while trying to finish university. She shares what it means to build a future when survival itself requires constant effort. This episode is a story about conflict, motherhood, faith, and the determination to keep moving forward even when the future feels uncertain. What You’ll Hear in This Episode 00:00 Transition to Womanhood02:45 Relationships and First Love06:30 Love, Pregnancy, and Breaking Point14:40 Facing Single Motherhood18:20 Birth and Early Motherhood21:10 Learning to Be a Mother25:15 Social Perception and Identity28:45 Emotional Journey of Motherhood Why This Story Matters Displacement is often described as a single event. For Ruth, it has been a recurring reality. Her story reveals how conflict reshapes not only where people live, but how they study, work, parent, and imagine their futures. It also highlights a reality faced by many female-headed households: survival depends on balancing caregiving, education, income generation, and emotional endurance all at once. By listening to Ruth, we gain a deeper understanding of what life looks like for women raising children amid ongoing insecurity—and what remains possible despite it. About The Archive Speaks The Archive Speaks preserves oral histories from displaced women and female heads of households around the world.These stories are shared in women’s own words, without political alignment or editorial interference, so that lived experiences shaped by conflict, displacement, and survival remain part of the historical record. Get full access to The Refugee Archive: Global Center for Displaced FHH at therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe [https://therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Ep 21 | Ruth’s Story Part 2 – DRC: “I Stayed Because I Had Nowhere Else to Go”

What happens when the future you imagined for yourself disappears almost overnight?In this second chapter of Ruth’s oral history from eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo 🇨🇩, she speaks about becoming a young woman, experiencing love for the first time, and the events that led her into single motherhood.What began as a relationship built on trust slowly became isolation, abandonment, and survival. Ruth reflects on pregnancy outside marriage, family rejection, domestic violence, and the emotional weight of raising a child largely on her own while trying to continue her education and survive financially in Goma.She speaks openly about fear, shame, motherhood, faith, and the complicated reality of rebuilding life after disappointment.This episode contains discussions of domestic violence, emotional abuse, and reproductive pressure. What You’ll Hear in This Episode 00:00 Transition to Womanhood02:45 Relationships and First Love06:30 Love, Pregnancy, and Breaking Point14:40 Facing Single Motherhood18:20 Birth and Early Motherhood21:10 Learning to Be a Mother25:15 Social Perception and Identity28:45 Emotional Journey of Motherhood Why This Story Matters Across many conflict-affected communities, women often carry the consequences of abandonment, stigma, and economic instability alone.Ruth’s story shows how quickly education, identity, and security can become fragile—and how motherhood reshapes survival itself.Her testimony also reveals something rarely documented with honesty: the emotional and social realities faced by young single mothers navigating family rejection, violence, and financial hardship while still trying to build a future for their children. About The Archive Speaks The Archive Speaks preserves oral histories from displaced women and female heads of households around the world.These stories are shared in women’s own words, without political alignment or editorial interference, so that lived experiences shaped by conflict, displacement, and survival remain part of the historical record. Get full access to The Refugee Archive: Global Center for Displaced FHH at therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe [https://therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Ep 20 | Ruth’s Story Part 1 – DRC: Gift of Simplicity

How would you look back on your childhood after living through war and displacement? In this first chapter of Ruth’s oral history, we meet a young woman from Walikale in eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo who remembers life before conflict altered its course. Today, in Goma, where insecurity continues to shape daily life, Ruth sits with us and returns to memories of family, faith, school, and the small routines that once made the world feel stable. Ruth grew up in a household of eleven children led by parents who worked constantly to keep the family together. Her father farmed, preached in church, and prepared his children for school each morning. Her mother ran a small home business while caring for the household. Much of Ruth’s childhood was shaped by church life, shared meals, games with neighbors, and learning how to contribute to the family from a young age. As she grew older, education became central to her ambitions. She developed a love for mathematics, finance, and business, eventually dreaming of earning a doctorate in economics. But moving to the city brought financial strain, instability, and obstacles that slowly interrupted the future she imagined for herself. This episode stays with the years before displacement fully takes hold. It is a story about memory, aspiration, and the ordinary life that existed before survival became the center of everything. What You’ll Hear in This Episode 00:56 Birth and Family Background06:42 Childhood in DRC09:00 Education, Talent, and Aspiration Why This Story Matters Stories about conflict often begin after violence arrives. But for many displaced women, there was a full life before displacement—filled with ambitions, routines, relationships, and plans for the future. Ruth’s memories remind us that internally displaced women are not defined only by survival. They are also daughters, students, creators, and people whose lives once moved with stability and possibility before conflict interrupted them. Listening to these early memories helps us understand not only what war destroys, but what women continue carrying long after displacement begins. About The Archive Speaks The Archive Speaks documents oral histories from displaced women and female heads of households across the world. These testimonies reflect lived memory shaped by conflict, migration, poverty, and survival. We preserve these stories without political alignment or editorial interference, allowing women to speak in their own words. Get full access to The Refugee Archive: Global Center for Displaced FHH at therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe [https://therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Ep 19 | Marie’s Story Part 3 – DRC: “I Carry Everything Alone”

What does it mean to carry a household on your own—every day, without pause? In this third chapter of Marie’s oral history, we move into the structure of her daily life in Goma, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Not as a single moment of crisis, but as a system of responsibilities that repeat, accumulate, and rarely ease. Marie describes what it means to raise three children as the sole provider. Her days begin before sunrise with housework, and unfold into a constant search for income—through training sessions, community work, and basket-making. Some days bring small earnings. Others bring none. But the routine continues, because it has to. She speaks about the absence of shared responsibility—how roles that are often divided between two people now rest on one. Work, childcare, caregiving, financial planning, and decision-making all move through her. Even relationships are shaped by this reality, as offers of support often come without acceptance of her children. Her story also opens into the systems that sustain survival. Informal savings groups. Short-term NGO contracts. Skills learned in fragments—eight days of training that became a livelihood. These are not safety nets. They are adaptations. What emerges is not a single hardship, but a pattern: work that is unstable, support that is conditional, and a life that must keep moving despite both. Marie’s voice brings us close to the everyday structure of survival—where nothing is guaranteed, but everything depends on her continuing. What You’ll Hear in This Episode 00:39 Daily Life as a Single Mother07:51Work, Income, and Survival19:08 Childcare and Care Burden22:18 Housing and Living with Your Aunt26:54 Documents, Financial, and Digital Access34:29 Feeding and Adaptation Strategy35:30 Health, Security, and Violence46:16 Faith, Dignity, and Community Life01:00:25 Community, Leadership, and Voice Why This Story Matters Across contexts of conflict and economic instability, female heads of household are often expected to sustain families without consistent support, protection, or recognition. Marie’s story reflects a broader reality: survival is not only about access to aid, but about the daily labor required to hold a household together when systems are uncertain or unavailable. Her experience highlights how women build continuity in environments where stability is not guaranteed—through work, community knowledge, and persistence. Listening to her expands our understanding of what it means to “cope.” Not as a temporary state, but as a long-term condition shaped by responsibility. About The Archive Speaks The Archive Speaks documents oral histories of displaced women and female heads of households. These stories are preserved as they are told—without interpretation, without alignment—so that lived experiences remain visible in their own terms. Get full access to The Refugee Archive: Global Center for Displaced FHH at therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe [https://therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Ep 18 | Marie’s Story Part 2 – DRC: A City Under Watch

Goma is a city where life continues, but not freely. In this second part of Marie’s story, we return with her to a place she knows well, yet experiences differently each time she comes back. She speaks about living in Goma now—not as a child moving between homes, but as a mother responsible for three children, navigating a city shaped by conflict, uncertainty, and watchfulness. She describes what daily life looks like when movement is limited, when trust is fragile, and when routines are built around caution. Even small decisions—when to leave the house, where to go, who to speak to—carry weight. The city has changed. So have the people in it. Marie also reflects on what it means to raise children in this environment. She manages fear quietly, making sure it does not settle into them the same way it has settled into the city. At the same time, she carries the full responsibility of providing—food, education, stability—without a partner, and with limited support. Through local women’s groups and small savings systems, she works alongside other women to create some form of continuity. It is not enough to remove the uncertainty, but it allows life to keep moving. This part of her story does not move toward resolution. It stays with what is here: a woman, her children, and a city where leaving is not always possible. Timestamps 00:00 Returning to Goma06:10 Living under constant vigilance13:45 Motherhood and responsibility21:30 What it means to stay About The Archive Speaks The Archive Speaks documents oral histories of displaced women and female heads of households. These stories are preserved as they are told—without interpretation, without alignment—so that lived experiences remain visible in their own terms. Get full access to The Refugee Archive: Global Center for Displaced FHH at therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe [https://therefugeearchive.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]