LGBTQ+, Mental Health & DBT Skills: Tools for Emotional Well-Being with Dr. Kiki Fehling

LGBTQ+, Mental Health & DBT Skills: Tools for Emotional Well-Being with Dr. Kiki Fehling

Dr. Kiki Fehling (aka DBT Kiki) is back with the Bonnies to discuss dialectical behavior therapy, LGBTQ+ mental health, and how language shapes understanding and treatment. They discuss why DBT has been useful for many different concerns, including anxiety, emotional dysregulation, PTSD, substance use, eating disorders, and depression. Kiki explains DBT’s main skill areas: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. They all agree that DBT breaks complex problems into concrete, structured steps, and how that makes the skills easier to use in daily life and in therapy. A major focus of the conversation is minority stress and its impact on LGBTQ+ people. They discuss discrimination, anticipated discrimination, and internalized stigma, as well as the importance of affirming language, representation, and feeling understood. Kiki goes on to clarify terms such as queer, cisgender, and related identity language. The Bonnies ask about the development of Kiki's LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook and her work making evidence-based psychotherapy more accessible. Also discussed is how queer people can use DBT skills like opposite action, coping skills, and community connection to respond to shame, anxiety, and rejection sensitivity. They close with a discussion of resilience, queer joy, intersectionality, and collective support. Dr. Fehling also mentions practical ways to find resources, including LGBTQ+ community centers, affirming therapists, and independent bookstores. HIGHLIGHTS: 3:39 DBT Becomes More Accessible 5:33 What DBT Really Teaches 10:34 Why This Book Matters 12:47 Queer Language and Identity 17:46 Understanding Minority Stress 24:54 Bi Visibility and Stigma 29:53 Resilience and Queer Joy 32:59 DBT Skills for Queer Clients 37:16 Finding Safe Resources connect with DBT Kiki website: https://www.kikifehling.com [https://www.kikifehling.com] The LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook: https://www.kikifehling.com/lgbtqworkbook [https://www.kikifehling.com/lgbtqworkbook] resources mentioned: CenterLink: https://www.lgbtqcenters.org [https://www.lgbtqcenters.org] Bookshop: https://bookshop.org [https://bookshop.org] CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com [https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com] Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf [https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf] Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ [https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ] Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com [https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com] Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ [https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ] The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

From Rested to Joyful: Psychological Strategies for a Better Life

In this episode the Bonnies continue their discussion of sleep and what they learned after our previous conversation about CBT-I for insomnia. They review core sleep as including REM and deep sleep, and note that adults are generally still recommended to get seven to nine hours of sleep. They talk about how people often become anxious about not sleeping well and start catastrophizing about the next day. They each share their own recent experiences of getting too little sleep, including waking early, getting out of bed instead of lying awake, and finding that they could still function and work through the day. The two then discuss how tiredness can sometimes change our mood and behavior in unexpected ways. BZE describes being more patient with ourselves, lowering our standards a little, and becoming calmer or more reflective when we are exhausted. They also mention that being tired can sometimes reduce anxiety and interrupt hypervigilance. The episodes wraps up by turning to the idea of joy and a book BZE recently started reading, Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler. They talk about how difficult things and joy can exist at the same time, and how important it is to notice access to joy in daily life, even when the world feels overwhelming. HIGHLIGHTS: 0:39 Core Sleep Explained 3:55 Rethinking a Bad Night 8:02 Flow and Self-Compassion 12:24 Finding Joy Anyway 16:30 Lightness After Darkness mentioned in this episode: Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler: https://a.co/d/05ornj2P [https://a.co/d/05ornj2P] Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav: https://a.co/d/0hlFqvLh [https://a.co/d/0hlFqvLh] CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com [https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com] Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf [https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf] Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ [https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ] Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com [https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com] Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ [https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ] The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

Why You Can't Sleep and How CBT-I Fixes It with guest Dr. Jesse Spiegel

The Bonnies introduce Dr. Jesse Spiegel, a licensed clinical psychologist who treats children, adolescents, and adults. This episode focuses on insomnia and on cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, or CBTI, which they discuss as a first-line treatment. Dr. Jesse explains how insomnia is distinguished from short-term sleep problems. He describes chronic insomnia as difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early, occurring at least three nights a week for at least three months, with clear distress or impaired functioning. They discuss the main ideas behind CBTI and talk about sleep drive, circadian timing, and arousal, and how these factors interact with chronotype. Dr. Jesse notes that morning and evening types may have different sleep patterns, and we discuss that chronotype is largely biological. Dr. Jesse also covers the behavioral parts of treatment. He explains stimulus control, including going to bed only when sleepy, getting out of bed if unable to sleep, using the bed only for sleep and sex, waking at the same time each day, and avoiding naps when possible. He then describes sleep restriction, where time in bed is adjusted to better match actual sleep time in order to improve sleep efficiency. Finally, they talk about the thoughts and habits that can keep insomnia going. Also mentioned is worry, catastrophic thinking, safety behaviors, and the way sleep tracking devices can become unhelpful for some people. The goal with treatment is that it aims to reduce pressure around sleep and make it feel more effortless. HIGHLIGHTS: 6:03 Meet Dr. Jesse Spiegel 7:38 What Is CBT-I? 12:02 Sleep Drive and Body Clock 19:40 Bed Becomes a Battleground 23:48 How CBTI Treats Insomnia 30:09 The Core Sleep Debate 34:20 Calming Sleep Anxiety 39:10 Reframing Sleep Thoughts 43:23 Wearables and Sleep Logs connect with Dr. Jesse website: https://www.drjessespiegel.com [https://www.drjessespiegel.com] CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com [https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com] Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf [https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf] Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ [https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ] Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com [https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com] Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ [https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ] The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

A Day in the Life of an OCD Psychologist (part 2): The Effectiveness of ERP for OCD

In this part 2 BZE and BZW discuss anxiety and OCD through their clinical work and personal experiences, including a recent visit in Maryland and time spent together in person. They talk about exposure work at Whole Foods, contamination fears, and how exposures can be broken into smaller steps while still helping retrain reactions to triggering situations. They also discuss social anxiety, selective attention to negative events, and the body’s physical anxiety response, including adrenaline, cortisol, shortness of breath, and a faster heartbeat. Along the way, they share a few personal moments from the visit, including the BZE's dog, a train delay, and a mix-up over continuing education credits. HIGHLIGHTS: 2:54 OCD Exposures Explained 6:45 Anxiety and Threat Perception 10:24 Unattended Drinks and Safety 17:34 Cassidy’s Warm Welcome 19:20 Train Ride Troubles 21:24 Mixed-Up CEs CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com [https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com] Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf [https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf] Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ [https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ] Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com [https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com] Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ [https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ] The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

A Day in the Life of an OCD Psychologist: Bonnie West Visits Bonnie East in Maryland

East meets West in this special episode of Anxiety Matters as Bonnie West travels to visit Bonnie East. After an excitedly heartwarming welcome, the two enjoy good food and drink as they discuss exciting new plans for Anxiety Matters. The two hit up Bonnie East's local Whole Foods to do a live exposure exercise. They leave tea on a shelf, walk away for a while, and return to drink it and describe the purpose of these exercises as helping people tolerate uncertainty, discomfort, and the anxiety that rises and then falls. They discuss several kinds of exposure work, including asking for help, interrupting someone, leaving items unattended, and handling contamination fears including a more direct contamination exposure involving a chip that is placed on a shelf and then on the floor before being eaten. BZE describes how some people need repeated practice before they are willing to do it, and notes that doing the feared action often reduces anxiety more than expected. Later, BZW visits BZE's office and home, where they talk about the workspace, the artwork created by Bonnie East's mom, and family-made gifts. They wrap up by discussing BZE's home, the dog, the Christmas decorations, how they each work and the surprising place Bonnie East records episodes of the podcast. You'll want to listen in, not only for valuable information on exposure exercises, but for the fun these two share when they're together. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:18 Whole Foods Exposure 5:17 Challenging Contamination Fears 7:49 Tolerating Uncertainty 9:49 Eating the Floor Chip 14:08 Flooding Exposures 17:05 Visiting the Office 20:24 House Tour and Gifts 24:21 Cozy Home Reflections CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com [https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com] Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf [https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf] Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ [https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ] Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com [https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com] Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ [https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ] The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.