Ask Christopher West

Why is Jesus clothed on the Cross, I'm terrified my baby will see us, & I feel grossed out by intimacy | ACW387

1 h 1 min · 1. juni 2026
episode Why is Jesus clothed on the Cross, I'm terrified my baby will see us, & I feel grossed out by intimacy | ACW387 cover

Beskrivelse

Questions answered this episode: 1. While meditating on the crucifixion, I wondered why our Lord is not completely nude in art portraying it. My research pointed to reverence for Christ and preserving his dignity, reading that he "voluntarily accepted humiliation, but it need not be perpetuated." While this makes sense, I wonder how to look at this through a TOB lens. Why does it feel irreverent to depict Jesus nude, when other art depicting naked bodies, like in the Sistine Chapel, is praised for showing the beauty of the human body? Is it because of our fallen nature, or is there something more theological I'm missing?  2. As a newlywed, my husband and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary. Six months ago, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My postpartum journey was difficult, and we are trying to navigate intimacy in this new stage of life. I especially struggle with a new anxiety, petrified that I will do something wrong and mess up my daughter. This has translated into me showing less attention to my husband. My brain does not seem wired towards the same level of intimacy as before. Also, our daughter's crib is right next to our bed. I am terrified she will wake up, see us in the marital embrace, and it will scare or scar her for life. Any advice? 3. I'm 25, serving full-time in college ministry. One thing I've been terribly afraid to address is when my dad had "the talk." Instead of discussing marriage, he simply said of masturbation, "It's normal and natural, just make sure to clean up after yourself." At 12, this left me with a view of my sexuality akin to pooping—just a natural thing you clean up after. Now, called to marriage, I see the beauty of the theory, but I frustratingly feel grossed out by the reality of the marital embrace. How can I partner with Christ in untwisting this in my heart? Resources: TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026 [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/TOB1June2026] Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] for other courses Slovakia & Slovenia Event [https://katoliskamladina.si/izvir/] Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

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episode Why is Jesus clothed on the Cross, I'm terrified my baby will see us, & I feel grossed out by intimacy | ACW387 cover

Why is Jesus clothed on the Cross, I'm terrified my baby will see us, & I feel grossed out by intimacy | ACW387

Questions answered this episode: 1. While meditating on the crucifixion, I wondered why our Lord is not completely nude in art portraying it. My research pointed to reverence for Christ and preserving his dignity, reading that he "voluntarily accepted humiliation, but it need not be perpetuated." While this makes sense, I wonder how to look at this through a TOB lens. Why does it feel irreverent to depict Jesus nude, when other art depicting naked bodies, like in the Sistine Chapel, is praised for showing the beauty of the human body? Is it because of our fallen nature, or is there something more theological I'm missing?  2. As a newlywed, my husband and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary. Six months ago, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My postpartum journey was difficult, and we are trying to navigate intimacy in this new stage of life. I especially struggle with a new anxiety, petrified that I will do something wrong and mess up my daughter. This has translated into me showing less attention to my husband. My brain does not seem wired towards the same level of intimacy as before. Also, our daughter's crib is right next to our bed. I am terrified she will wake up, see us in the marital embrace, and it will scare or scar her for life. Any advice? 3. I'm 25, serving full-time in college ministry. One thing I've been terribly afraid to address is when my dad had "the talk." Instead of discussing marriage, he simply said of masturbation, "It's normal and natural, just make sure to clean up after yourself." At 12, this left me with a view of my sexuality akin to pooping—just a natural thing you clean up after. Now, called to marriage, I see the beauty of the theory, but I frustratingly feel grossed out by the reality of the marital embrace. How can I partner with Christ in untwisting this in my heart? Resources: TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026 [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/TOB1June2026] Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] for other courses Slovakia & Slovenia Event [https://katoliskamladina.si/izvir/] Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

1. juni 20261 h 1 min
episode Eight miscarriages echo Mary's grief, Is polygyny Biblical?, and When period cramps prompt masculine wishes. | ACW386 cover

Eight miscarriages echo Mary's grief, Is polygyny Biblical?, and When period cramps prompt masculine wishes. | ACW386

Questions answered this episode: 1. I hope you can help connect the dots with something stirring in my heart. In your Marian mystery course, you discussed when the Bible mentions Jerusalem, it's ultimately a reference to Mary, and how a woman opening herself to conception participates in Mary's Fiat. Since then, I've suffered eight miscarriages. On Palm Sunday, hearing Jesus was entering Jerusalem, I felt intense pain. Given the Jerusalem-Mary connection, I thought of my children whose innocent bodies faced death in my womb, reflecting on Mary holding her innocent Son's body. Are these connections appropriate? If Jerusalem represents Mary, why did Jesus enter there to die? How do we connect this to the hope of resurrected life? 2. I've recently come across a couple conservative Protestant guys, one a pastor, arguing in favor of polygamy—specifically, polygyny. It got me thinking about why we no longer practice this. They're not arguing to make it standard, but rather to allow it as one of three moral options for some people, alongside celibacy or traditional monogamous marriage. One argument they made is that God never changes. Since saints in the Old Testament practiced this, they argue it is not intrinsically sinful like homosexuality. I realize polygamy can lend itself to a lot of abuse. But, could there be situations where it could be a legitimate God honoring option? If not, why not and is polygamy sinful? 3. I'm a 31-year-old single woman. Is it sinful to wonder what it would be like to be a man? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a woman. However, it's easy to get frustrated dealing with a monthly period, pain, and PMS. Half of each month feels thrown out of whack, and sometimes I think it would be easier to be a man. I don't want to change my body or gender; I just get frustrated. A friend said these difficulties make us stronger—is she onto something? I pray thanking God for how I was made, but I don't feel all that thankful. Do you have advice? Resources: Slovakia & Slovenia Event [https://katoliskamladina.si/izvir/] Mike Mangione, director of events contact: events@tobinstitute.org [events@tobinstitute.org] TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026 [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/TOB1June2026] --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

25. maj 20261 h 6 min
episode Enduring gossip of a former partner’s promiscuity, Losing physical affection after enforcing a strict kissing boundary, and Shifting from same-sex desires to fantasies. | ACW385 cover

Enduring gossip of a former partner’s promiscuity, Losing physical affection after enforcing a strict kissing boundary, and Shifting from same-sex desires to fantasies. | ACW385

Questions answered this episode: 1. In my previous relationship, we were trying to abstain from sex. I knew he was watching porn and working on that too. A week after breaking up, he started sleeping with someone else and since has been sleeping with many people. Word that I don't care to hear spreads quickly in a small town. I'm trying to identify the lie from the enemy in this. Right now, I just know that it hurts very deeply. I'm also trying to find the truth in all this pain. 2. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Early on, we discussed physical boundaries. I shared that kissing with the intention of increasing arousal crosses a line for me, while he felt anything short of sex was acceptable. A few times I've pulled away because the kissing becomes too arousing. This causes him to shut down and get hurt, feeling he has done something wrong. Now, his response is to show barely any physical affection. How can I navigate this in a way that honors our boundaries without hurting him or falling into lust? 3. I'm a 27-year-old man who has struggled with same-sex attraction my entire life. In recent years, I've gained control over my desires through inner healing, dedicating time to embracing my masculine identity and building good male friendships. Listening to your podcast, I realized navigating my disoriented attractions is not about repressing my eros out of shame, but asking God for more—that He might help me see the true beauty in all things, even women. I sometimes entertain fantasies of women, seeking companionship and human connection. I enjoy these because they seem more ordered than my desires for the same sex. I'm not sure if this is what it means to expand my eros. Resources: TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026 [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/TOB1June2026] Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] Good News About Sex & Marriage [https://shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage] Love & Responsibility YouTube Series [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAbqXQaOvkM4UxMiREWkgYmY-PHTEnRtn] with Matt Fradd Sexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video [https://youtu.be/oMyK0A2hDUs?si=SAfbbj5tCTmrZREL] Fill These Hearts [https://shop.corproject.com/products/copy-of-fill-these-hearts-paperback?srsltid=AfmBOoqxCy-bJ86DRDsfmIBXq0J7851EZb8niY1lx2EExot4y_OpaN5s] THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK) [https://shop.corproject.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-beginners?srsltid=AfmBOorMVTbNPSc1A2PATxmjhfhQMdJIxaTUnKjzVooNc4BHddS0rT5b] ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] John Paul II Healing Center Events [https://jpiihealingcenter.org/events/] Desert Stream Ministries [https://www.desertstream.org/] Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

18. maj 20261 h 3 min
episode Crying through the liturgical year, Standing firm on chastity, and Healing from a boyfriend’s hidden lust. | ACW384 cover

Crying through the liturgical year, Standing firm on chastity, and Healing from a boyfriend’s hidden lust. | ACW384

Questions answered this episode: 1. “I cry every Christmas season when I reflect on the baby Jesus. Like if I imagine myself holding him. And it's not just at Christmas, I've also cried during Advent, Lent, Holy Week, especially the Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost Sunday. Sometimes I cry more than the prophet Jeremiah. Do you think I'm experiencing the gift of tears or just something else entirely?” 2. "I feel passionately about living out the teachings of Theology of the Body in my life and future marriage. I’m finding a dilemma that many men, Catholic men, want to break off a relationship when they find out I don’t want to have sex or engage in any acts where orgasms are sought separate from sex open to life in marriage. I’ve tried to explain it is about making love and loving one another in the way God loves. But I haven’t been able to get any man to see the beauty and desire this with me, and I’m starting to get discouraged. I’m trusting in God’s plan, but I’m finding temptation to put up with occasional sin in my marriage, hoping that the holy sex will change the man’s heart one day. Can you give me advice?" 3. “I feel heartbroken. I found out that my boyfriend's pornography use and social media lust, which I previously thought was in the past, had relapsed and continued throughout our relationship for years without me knowing. He has now stopped and is almost free of this issue. What can I do to make this pain go away? I feel sad to think of him looking at other women that way. How can I still feel like our marriage will be special in that way, if while he was dating me, he chose to look at other women without me knowing? I just want this pain to go away so I can move forward in our relationship without feeling like I won't be enough for him or comparing myself to these women." Resources: TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026 [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/TOB1June2026] Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/ignitehope2026] --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

11. maj 202654 min
episode Proving Recovery from Porn to a Partner, Re-evaluating Male Shirtlessness & The Ethics of Menstrual Cups | ACW383 cover

Proving Recovery from Porn to a Partner, Re-evaluating Male Shirtlessness & The Ethics of Menstrual Cups | ACW383

Questions answered this episode: 1. I want to fully understand Theology of the Body but struggle due to a history with porn addiction. Exposed at 13, I fell away from the Church and entered an ill-advised marriage where porn use was encouraged, ending in divorce. Now, by the grace of God, it’s been several months since I’ve slipped. Resources like the Matt Fradd show, Internal Family Systems, and Covenant Eyes have helped immensely. I’ve met an amazing woman, but when I told her about my addiction, she expressed concern that I haven't done enough to address it. How do I know if I’ve done enough? What resources would you recommend? 2. My fiancé and I have been discerning swim modesty, particularly for men. I love swimming and see many modest options for women, but what about men? I felt like seeing my fiancé without his shirt for the first time was a big deal, as a level of nakedness would be revealed that hadn’t been before. We discerned him wearing a swim shirt, as I want to wait to see this nakedness until marriage. He has struggled with it, and I didn't want to force it. Should men have a level of modesty and cover up while swimming, or is it modest for men to swim shirtless since that’s acceptable in our culture? 3. Are there any feminine hygiene products that are not acceptable? Tampons are required to go into the body, and menstrual cups or disks even require a woman to actually reach her hand up her vagina to insert and to remove. This feels a little bit like the line towards masturbation is being pushed. Resources: Way of Beauty Course with Bill Donaghy [https://tobinstitute.kartra.com/page/WayofBeautyJuly2026] Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] Freedom Coaching [https://freedom-coaching.net/] TOB Institute Store [https://shop.corproject.com/] John Paul II Healing Center [https://jpiihealingcenter.org/] Desert Stream Ministries [https://www.desertstream.org/] --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobforfree.com/] 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.eatingthesunrise.com/] ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tobpatron.com/] --- Submit you question here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJDRUXeN9Um6YVbKsFHJvucdAJih9ozu8r3ZaGjrhArAV3cA/viewform?embedded=true] --- 🎟️ Event Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#event-schedule] 📚 ⁠⁠ [https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/]Course Schedule [https://tobinstitute.org/our-schedule/#course-schedule] 🏔️ Pilgrimages [http://tobpilgrimages.com/] 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ [https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GI1XK7viPMV36eBBNjxoKqzCENSRVyR1IoLpX6lqrw/edit?usp=sharing] *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ [http://michele@tobinstitute.org/]

4. maj 202650 min