What If You Actually Got What You Wanted? — with Stella Topaz

Your Body Kept the Score — And It's Ready to Feel Good Again: Sonia Houria-Rivas

Sonia Houria-Rivas was a high-powered international lawyer who couldn't feel her own body. Not metaphorically - literally. It took 100 pull-ups, a hospitalisation, and eventually a shaman to begin the journey back. In this conversation, Sonia and Malika explore what it really takes to reconnect with pleasure after trauma: why safety comes first, what your body's yes and no can feel like, and how rest, breath, and radical self-honesty can bring you home to yourself.

Aftercare: Wants, Boundaries, and the Dance of Pleasure

In this Aftercare episode, Malika and Lilli settle in to reflect on everything that came up in the conversation with sexological bodyworker Stella Topaz, and there was a lot. From the genius simplicity of the hand-mapping exercise, to the stories we tell ourselves about our bodies, to what it actually means to acknowledge that you have wants (without needing to fulfil a single one of them) this episode goes deep and warm. They also talk about coercive control, healthy boundaries, and why learning to say no, and yes, might be the most radical act of self-care there is.  Plus, Stella returns with a beautiful, compassionate response to two questions that didn't make it into the main episode: what to do when your body responds positively to abuse, and how to gently approach the experience of wanting an orgasm you can't access. Keep looking for those glimmers, and keep being kind to yourself.

What If You Actually Got What You Wanted? — with Stella Topaz

What if pleasure wasn't something you had to earn after you'd done enough healing? In this episode, I sit down with Stella Topaz - sexological bodyworker, Wheel of Consent teacher, queer mother and grandmother - for one of the most honest, warm, and practical conversations I've had on this podcast. We talk about desire smuggling (trying to get what you want without actually asking for it), why "consent" has become a legal word when it should be a loving one, and how something as simple as asking for a hand massage a certain way can change everything. Stella also shares her own experiences of sexual assault and how she kept moving toward pleasure anyway - and what that taught her about survivors, bodies, and the stories we tell ourselves. This one is for survivors, for practitioners, and for anyone who's ever thought - what do I actually want?

Aftercare with Lilli - Fabulous Frannie, Slow Processing & Tiny Joys

Malika and Lilli Pang reflect on the interview with Francesca, exploring survivor experiences, slow emotional processing, and how busyness and generational attitudes shape responses to abuse. They discuss forgiveness versus self‑compassion, the pleasures of the body - from food to breastfeeding - grounding practices included in each episode, and the joy of staying present as we age.

Superb and Fabulous: Francesca Emerson on Pleasure, Play & Freedom

Malika talks with Francesca "Franny" Emerson, a sculptor, author of The Chocolate Bunny, and a spirited storyteller. They explore claiming pleasure as essential living. Topics include food, sensuality, intimacy, body love, aging, forgiveness, and the daily practices that keep joy and play at the center of life. This candid conversation is unfiltered. It talks about sex both amazing and not so. It celebrates self‑trust, creativity, and the pursuit of pleasure in all it's forms.