Rejoice and Godspeed

Rejoice and Godspeed

Have you ever noticed how casually we say goodbye? "See you later." "Take care." Or how we end our communications with “Sincerely yours” and “Best Regards.” They're pleasant enough, but they don't really say much. For years now, I've ended conversations differently. My salutation is ..."Rejoice and Godspeed." Those three words are far more than a farewell. They've become something of a personal creed. They express what I desire for every person I meet. That they would live with genuine Christian joy and that God Himself would guide every step of their journey. Because if those two things are true, everything else eventually falls into place. One evening, while standing in line for the Sacrament of Reconciliation and going through an examination of conscious, I found myself reflecting over the previous several months and was struck that so many of my failings and sins could be traced back to the lack of joy. When we let joy disappear or fail to recognize its presence; that is when patience disappears and then gratitude disappears. Complaining becomes easier. Soon judgment creeps in. Pride grows. Envy grows. It's amazing how quickly and easily we surrender something priceless. I remember hearing a sermon once about a man who allowed a seven-dollar overcharge to ruin his entire day. Seven dollars. Not seven thousand. He couldn’t move past being upset at the overcharge and allowed his joy to be taken away for a mere $7.It made me think of the value (or lack of) I sometimes place on my Joy. St. Paul gives us one of the shortest commands in Scripture. "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice." Notice Paul doesn't say, "Rejoice when life is easy," "Rejoice when we get the promotion," "Rejoice when our health is good," or "Rejoice when everyone agrees with us." He says, "Always." Which can seem impossible to rejoice always despite our moods/weather/situation, until we notice Paul’s next words, "...in the Lord." Christian joy is never built upon circumstances. It is built upon a Person, Jesus Christ. One of my favorite observations comes from G.K. Chesterton. He called joy "the gigantic secret of the Christian." The saints understood this. Paul certainly understood it. Remember, he wrote Philippians while sitting in a Roman prison. And in that short letter he tells us to rejoice again, and again, and again, thirteen times. Not because prison is enjoyable. But because Christ had never left him. In Matthew’s Gospel, the final Beatitude from Jesus Sermon on the Mount is different - because we are not pursuing it, but it is there for us to understand that when we seek the life that Jesus lays out for us, persecution will pursue us, “Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you because of me.” Then it closes with “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.” Depending on our Bible translation, the words “happy” and “happiness” are used approximately 30 times in Scripture; the words “joy” and “rejoice” appear over 300 times. Happiness depends on what happens. Happiness can be circumstantial; it has the same root as the word “happenstance.” Yet, despite how unreliable it is, many of us base our lives on the pursuit of happiness (I know … I know… the Declaration of Independence guarantees our right to do so). Joy is something entirely different. Joy is a decision, a choice and a bold one at that. Having joy is an enduring sense of well-being with confidence that God is present. Joy dependent upon Christ never changes. Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote, "Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God." I think that's true. Because the closer we walk with Christ, the more confidence we have and the less control our circumstances have over us. C.S. Lewis: "Joy is the serious business of Heaven." Fun, happiness, laughter will all eventually end and we will move to other earthly circumstances – they are like a short recess. In contrast, heavenly joy is a true, lasting reality. Joy belongs to the Christian and is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. This is why the Church, in her liturgical wisdom, gives us Gaudete Sunday in Advent and Laetare Sunday in Lent — glimpses of joy along the way to the joyful celebrations of Christmas and Easter. Read about the Saints, even in the midst of their sufferings, they did not lose their joy because it was anchored not in comfort, but in Christ. "Gospel" literally means "Good News." Christianity begins with joyful news, not merely moral instruction. If joy is a choice, how do we cultivate it? I've found four simple questions help me reset my perspective: - What's right in my life? - What am I grateful for? - Who has God placed in my life as a blessing? - What has God already done today that I would have overlooked yesterday? Those questions pull our eyes away from scarcity and back toward abundance. Away from irritation and toward gratitude. Away from ourselves and toward God. As St. Ignatius taught, gratitude is one of the surest defenses against discouragement. Now let's talk about the second half of that greeting. Godspeed. Many people think it simply means "good luck." It doesn't. It comes from the old English expression, "God spede you." Literally, "May God prosper our journey." Not merely success. Not merely safety. But may God accomplish His purpose through our life. It's actually a prayer. One of the most famous examples came during the launch of Apollo 11. Just before mankind began its journey to the moon with three astronauts, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin sitting atop a 363-foot tall, 7.6-million-pound thrust Saturn V rocket. Mission Control said, "Godspeed." How fitting.  Every one of us is on a journey far more significant than going to the moon. We're making our way toward eternity. I used the expression in the title of my book, Godspeed and Guideposts for Your Journey. I felt the content of the book was an ideal opportunity to impart my blessing on one’s journey and for that voyage to be successful. When we put those two words together, they become something beautiful. "Rejoice and Godspeed" is a profound expression of Christian love. It says simultaneously: Be rooted in the joy that is Christ — and — May God's hand guide and prosper us on the road ahead. It honors both the interior life and the journey outward. This expression, in its fullness, is a miniature act of faith: it trusts that joy is real, that God is sovereign over every journey, and that the person being sent is held in divine providence. Rejoice. Be rooted in Christ. Protect our joy. Guard it carefully because the world will gladly trade us anxiety for it. And... Godspeed. Walk faithfully. Trust God's direction. Move courageously. Whether the road is smooth or steep. Whether we're beginning a new career, or starting retirement, or raising children, or grieving someone we love, or simply trying to become a little more like Christ today. Rejoice. And Godspeed. May our joy remain rooted in Christ. May our steps follow His pace. May our journey bring glory to Him. And may we one day rejoice together at the destination we've been walking toward all along. Until next time... Rejoice and Godspeed.

Live Life on Offense

I have always believed the old saying: "Defense wins championships." And in sports, that's often true. But over the years I've come to realize something important: Defense may win championships, but offense is what moves life forward. Think about it. A defender reacts. An offensive player initiates. A defender responds to circumstances. An offensive player creates opportunities. A defender protects what already exists. An offensive player builds what could be. Life does require some defense. We all face unexpected challenges, setbacks, illnesses, disappointments, and interruptions. But if our entire life becomes reactionary, we spend our days putting out fires instead of building something meaningful. The question is simple: Are we playing to win, or are we merely playing not to lose? Most people drift into defensive living without even realizing it. We wake up and react to emails. We react to the news. We react to deadlines. We react to problems. We react to other people's priorities. Stephen Covey described this reality through his famous Time Management Matrix that he built from the Eisenhower Decision Principle with the Four Quadrants. Quite simply, living in Quadrant 2 (Important/Not Urgent) is living on offense. It is the quadrant of being proactive, planning and critical thinking. This is the quadrant for long term achievement. Whereas living in Quadrant 1 (Important/Urgent) is living on defense. It is the world of crises, emergencies, firefighting and being reactive. Many people spend a majority of their lives there. Every day becomes another problem to solve; another issue demanding attention. The danger is that living this way creates the illusion of productivity while producing very little progress. We're busy. We're exhausted. We're stressed. Yet we often aren't moving forward. It's like being a football team that spends the entire game on defense. We might stop the other team, but we'll never score. We'll never advance the ball.We'll never dictate the pace of the game. Eventually life becomes maintenance instead of mission. Survival instead of significance. Living on offense doesn't mean becoming aggressive. It doesn't mean being reckless. It means becoming intentional. It means choosing our direction rather than allowing circumstances to choose it for us. And nowhere is this more important than in our faith. God never called us merely to avoid sin. He never asked us to only listen to His word. He called us to pursue purpose. Not simply to survive the culture. But to influence it. Not simply reacting to darkness. But bring light into it. So how do we begin living life on offense? First, spend more time in Quadrant Two. Quadrant Two is the realm of important but not urgent activities. The domain of Long-term growth. Most people know these things matter. The challenge is that they don't scream for attention. They require intentionality. Yet these are the activities that prevent future crises and create long-term success. Second, make our second move first. The expression “make your second move first” was a favorite used by one of my College Football coaches. He was our defensive coordinator and valued preparation, anticipation, and being proactive. A rule of football is, 'he who makes his second move first wins.' Healthy marriages often employ this mantra. A good marriage involves couples that know the right things to do. Thriving marriages build off the first move with impactful second moves. Turn date night into a lifelong memory. Turn a routine weekday dinner into a catered feast. The best way to learn how our partner thinks and acts is to be intentional and notice patterns and habits. Know what is going on, be aware.  In business it can be referred to as "staying ahead of the game." Adapting quickly to market trends, meeting new government standards before they go into effect, and implementing technological advancements. Anticipation is the way to stand out. Customers remember those businesses that take care of them before the need even arises. It is selling value and providing solutions to problems, even before a customer voices a concern or, better, before they even realize they have a problem.  Being one step ahead in our thinking is particularly effective in strategy games like Chess and Mancala. We are acting as opposed to reacting. We anticipate future events or needs by considering potential outcomes and plan accordingly. Third, focus on being different, not merely better. The greatest breakthroughs come from doing things differently, not simply doing them better. Henry Ford didn't create a faster horse. Netflix didn't build a better video store. Uber didn't improve taxi dispatching. They changed the game. I love how Christianity is different. Every other religion teaches being better and earning God’s glory. Other religions have laws or pillars to appease their god with the hopes of getting into eternal paradise. Christianity teaches that God came to us. He sent His Son to die for us. We don’t have to appease God to receive His favor. No other religion has an empty tomb. Christians are not asked to be better, we are asked to be different. We are not meant to simply "try harder" with outward actions and rule-following, we are asked to experience a fundamental transformation of the heart, to change from the inside out. Living on offense means being willing to think differently, act differently, and trust God enough to walk through new doors. Fourth, Call Strategic Timeouts. If the entire message is "be on offense, take action, move forward," some may hear that as "go faster, do more, stay busy." That's not what I am really saying. As part of living on offense, we often need to stop, pause. We need to take a timeout. Only after stepping out of the noise can we regain perspective and decide what offensive plays matter most. The timeout is not just a practical tip. It can be the turning point of the entire message. In sports, a timeout is a key strategic tool. It can serve many purposes: stopping the clock, extending the game, allowing readjustment, avoiding a penalty or turnover, and providing the opportunity to talk things through and regroup mentally. A family going 90 miles an hour in five different directions needs a timeout to slow down, reconnect, and remind each other of the priority of family. Companies will use an annual kickoff meeting as a timeout where they pull everyone off the floor and into a huddle. A personal timeout allows us to pause, reflect, and pray. We can take the off-ramp from life’s highway and evaluate the road we are on. A timeout can keep us from making a bad decision because we don’t have a clear perspective. A timeout isn't removing oneself from the game, it isn't retreating. It's preparing to run the next play. It's alignment. It's making sure the next play is the right play. The timeout becomes the bridge between where we are and where we want to go. The art of pausing can be as simple as breathing, stretching, drinking a coffee, or gazing out the window or at a photo of a loved granddaughter. The act just needs to be done with intention to allow for clarity, rest and realignment.  This is also very biblical. Before God sends people forward, He often pulls them aside first. Moses in the wilderness. Elijah under the broom tree. Jesus in the desert. The disciples being told to "come away and rest awhile" in Mark 6:31. Jesus regularly called timeouts. Not because He lacked urgency, but because He understood priorities. This week I want to challenge us to identify one area of our life where we've been playing defense. Maybe it's our health. Maybe it's our marriage. Maybe it's our career.Maybe it's our faith. Ask ourselves: What would an offensive approach look like here? What conversation needs to happen? What phone call needs to be made? What habit needs to start? What opportunity have I been waiting for instead of pursuing? Don't try to redesign our entire life. Just move the ball forward. One intentional play. One deliberate step. One faithful act of obedience. Jesus never lived reactively.He was never rushed by the crowd. Never manipulated by circumstances. Never distracted from His mission. He always operated with purpose. With clarity. With intention. Even when others saw chaos, He saw opportunity. Even when others saw obstacles, He saw a path forward. The beautiful news for us is that the ultimate game has already been won. Christ secured that victory. Our job is not to earn it. Our job is to faithfully play the position we've been given. Let’s make sure we are doing our part and trust we will set the world on fire. Let’s stop waiting for life to happen; stop spending all our energy protecting the status quo. Let’s take the field; run the play; call a timeout when needed. Let’s live life on offense, leave a legacy and make a difference in His Kingdom. Rejoice and Godspeed

Discipline is Not a Bad Word

We had a sign in the high school football locker room, “Discipline is not what I do to you, it is what I do for you”. As a high school football coach, an unexpected requirement of the job was to convince young men that discipline is not a bad word. Until that point in their life for most, discipline had become synonymous with punishment. When they hear the word discipline from a football coach, they envision endless wind sprints or up/downs. Even the dictionary definition paints that picture - the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience. Somewhere along the way, we turned discipline into a dirty word. We hear it and think punishment, restriction, or someone taking away our freedom. But what if discipline isn’t the enemy of freedom? What if it is actually the doorway to it? Discipline is really a positive exercise around choice that not only prevents negative consequences (that bad stuff like ‘time out’ as a 3-year-old or those dreaded wind sprints) but more importantly makes good stuff better and prepares us or our team for the challenges ahead. It is a good thing that grows us.  There is a conscious part of discipline, it is the mindfulness and awareness to self-regulate. Managing our own thoughts, feelings and actions – is the cornerstone of a successful life. If we are an effective manager of ourselves, our discipline comes from within. Most people can prioritize and even organize around their priorities, however many lack the discipline to choose and execute according to their priorities. When discipline is imposed from the outside (a coach, parent, manager) it will eventually wane and dissipate when there is no desire to match from within. Making better mental choices (accountable choices) requires mental discipline. Mental discipline is essential to the process of winning, especially in times of uncertainty (change). Mental discipline is key to finishing what we start. Discipline to not eat the second piece of cake; to exercise no matter what the weather; to say I am sorry or to bite my tongue (so I will not have to say sorry later); to call my mom once a week; to not engage in negative office small talk; to manage my time effectively and so on.  Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments; discipline takes us from wishing for success to achieving it. We cannot just talk our way to success; we need to discipline ourselves with action to make it happen. It was interesting to learn that the original Greek word used for discipline is also where we get the English word gymnasium. Training, practice, discipline - all are required for success in sports, work and in life. I am a big proponent of showing up early. Being early reveals integrity and self-discipline, it shows respect for others, it assures us we are ready to be at our best when called, it shows we are dependable. There is the concept of “Lombardi time.” Vince Lombardi, the Hall of Fame Green Bay Packer Head Coach, always taught his players and coaching staff they should arrive fifteen minutes early for a meeting or an appointment. Many former Green Bay players and coaching assistants claim that “Lombardi Time” taught them discipline and helped them to appreciate how the value of time. As a subtle nod to Lombardi’s expectations, the Packers organization honored their legendary coach and paid tribute to “Lombardi Time” by setting their clock outside of Lambeau Field fifteen minutes early. Cadence be it with prayer, exercising, our work routine –can build discipline and sets the pace for life.  Consistency is the quality of being logical, consistent, and sound; there is unity, and clarity between the vision and mission, roles and goals, priority and a plan, and desires and discipline. It is a unified whole. Being dependable means putting work in every day. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they laid bricks every hour. Patience and discipline are required virtues to grow something great. Ignoring any of the minor details till the due date, then expecting to collect a reward, is foolish. An unexamined or unmaintained field soon becomes unusable due to weeds. Small undisciplined decisions rarely destroy us overnight. They slowly drift us off course. Direction not intention determines destination; discipline not desire determines destiny. Aesop’s fable of the ant versus the grasshopper is centered on discipline. The ant is symbolic of discipline. Diligent in its approach to life – storing food for winter, working as part of a colony and supporting others. While the grasshopper is carefree and overly individualistic, lacking in discipline. Note that being obedient is not the same as being disciplined. Obedience is following the rules, meeting deadlines and checking the boxes that we did what we were supposed to do (being competent). Discipline is more than following rules, it is about doing the right thing (there is no rule that says if we used the last of the toilet paper, put on a new roll), about living a code of accountability to exceed expectations and being “excellent”. Modeling a disciplined life is far more effective than correcting disobedience. Honoring our word each and every day is discipline mentoring in its simplest form. Any individual can dole out the punishment form of discipline, especially from a ‘leadership’ position. However true leaders strive to provide understanding and to actively help deal with the larger issue that resulted in the mistake.  John Wooden said that ‘effective discipline’ has two elements: it does not antagonize and it does influence. It is very difficult to antagonize and influence or teach at the same time. ‘Making a difference’ is a continual long-term disciplined effort that requires work and sacrifice; ‘making a scene’ is easy and convenient. I did a blog on how today too many people are concerned with making a scene and not focused on making a difference. Society often lacks the resolve and patience to follow up with consistent disciplined action, because it is hard and takes time. The words ‘discipline’ and ‘disciple’ share the same Latin root word for ‘pupil’. The concept is that we surrender ourselves to something or someone, similar to an athlete surrendering his will to a coach or a student to her teacher. As disciples our surrender is to God and His wisdom. Every disciple of Christ must practice discipline as we “train ourselves to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).  Proverbs of Solomon is written for us to gain discipline for wise conflict management “for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair” (Prov. 1:2-3). Solomon also said that we should love discipline “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” (Prov. 12:1). Also referencing back to Aesop and the Ant, “Go to the ant, O sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.” (Prov. 6:6-8).  Spiritual growth knows no shortcuts; it too requires effort and hard work. No quick fixes or hacks will allow us to skip the difficult steps.  At the end of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 7:24-27), Jesus contrasts the lives of those who exercise discipline and expend spiritual energy to grow in faith to those taking the easier way. Busting up rock and digging a deep foundation to build a house on solid rock is hard work. Building a house on sand is a spiritual hack doomed to fail. St. Augustine preached that availing ourselves of the disciplines and rituals of the Church are channels for receiving God’s grace, they are not avenues of performing for God. Whether cheating on an exam, at work, or on in life, we are not just cheating ourselves out of being more educated, more trusted; we are missing out on God's blessing. Diligent preparation and practice reduce the temptation to cheat. The risk in cheating can range from a failed exam, a speeding ticket, to the destruction of a marriage. Living a life that honors God requires hard work and discipline; but the reward of God's inheritance is immeasurable. In 2 Timothy 2, St. Paul’s reminds Timothy of soldiers, athletes, and farmers having incredible discipline and hard work to stay the course and produce an outcome. The soldier working within the boundaries of the hierarchy of command to win a battle; the athlete adhering to the rules of the game to win a race; the farmer working the soil, planting, and reaping a harvest. In each of these, quitting is not an option. Nobody applauds discipline in the moment. Yet everybody wants the harvest. Few people love the daily plowing, weeding, and watering. Discipline is ordinary faithfulness repeated long enough. Nobody accidentally becomes strong—physically, mentally, relationally, or spiritually. Discipline is not what life does to us. It is what God is trying to do for us.

Help of Thy Grace

“With the help of thy grace” – we say it often or at least we should as it is in the Act of Contrition. "I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin." Interestingly, the phrase “firmly resolve” means having a strong, unwavering determination, commitment, or fixed purpose to do something. It indicates a person has made a firm, final decision and is committed to acting on it, often despite obstacles, doubts, or difficulties. Yet the prayer adds – “with the help of Thy grace.” Despite us making a firm and final commitment to act even in the presence of obstacles, doubts, or difficulties – we need God's assistance. We always have at the “ready” God's assistance to avoid temptation, to prevent missteps, to overcome sins. Yet too often we choose to rely solely on personal willpower. Most of us, especially men, go through life like everything depends on us. We act like God’s up there watching while we hustle down here. However, our job isn’t to be the source of strength. It’s to be a conduit. A channel. A servant. Our strength is borrowed. Stop asking, “What can I do for God?” and start asking, “What is God doing in me and through me right now?” What am I allowing him to do? And “Where am I taking control?” In a world where we are told to “make our mark,” we need to flip the script. We are not self-made. We are not the source. However, we fear that dependence is weakness. But with God, dependence is the gateway to power. Real power. Power not fueled by ego or performance—but by love. This demands trust, Surrender. We are not removing effort—we are redefining where the power comes from.  Christ’s yoke is easy (Matthew 11:30) but the way is hard (Matthew 7:14). Are these contradictory metaphors from the book of Matthew? No. We are carrying light burdens on a hard path. Why? We are yoked directly alongside Jesus. It is a shared burden where Jesus carries the heavy load along the hard path. Paraclete – Para – along side (where we get the word parallel) and clete – “called” – the Greek meaning is “summoned, called to one’s side.” Paraclete is also a legal term and in effect means someone called alongside to help, defend, or console. The original meaning is more akin to a legal counselor, especially in the context of enduring trials. We can think about it like a divine defense attorney. The Holy Spirit is on our side, not to convict us (that’s the role of the accuser), but always to help us recall who we are. And to help us walk in the reality of who we are. The Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, brings and activates God's grace in our lives. Grace is God's unmerited favor and enabling power, the Holy Spirit is the divine agent who delivers that power, enabling us to do what we cannot achieve on our own. When we say “Let God do the Heavy lifting” it isn’t necessarily defined or limited to a major incident. It doesn’t have to be an immediate or instantaneous life-changing event. A subtle allowance to let God do the lifting, even in the smallest of ways, can set us on a new course/path. Ever so slightly we amend our path and that creates a new destination. Consider traveling a due east path around the world that leaves from New York City. Staying on this path, without deviation, will result in a return to New York City. However, if we adjust this path just one degree, we end up Montreal Canada – a different city, even a different country. The slightest change creates a new destination. Sometimes we grasp, grab, and hold on for dear life. Especially in moments of fear. However, His hands are infinitely bigger and stronger. Let Him hold us. St. Paul’s notes his reliance on God to provide in Philippians 4:13, “I have the strength for everything through HIM who empowers me.” We can do whatever He is calling us to if we walk with Him and rely on His strength, wisdom, and love to see us through. God wants to work with us. He wants to walk with us. He wants to carry the load. So why do we go solo and do it alone? We often start a project or a journey based on a calling. Then we get so caught up in the doing and literally take control to do it all on our own. We let the excitement of what God is doing envelop and carry us, that we don’t continue to reflect, pray, or discern with God about His direction. God led us to it and then we decided somewhere along the way to do it ourselves. We end up overwhelmed, consumed, maybe even confused or frustrated because things aren’t working. We need to pause and give it back to Him and ask for His direction. Allow Him to lift that weight from us. So how do we improve ourselves in this area and rely on God’s grace to lift us? Prayer – prayer and discernment make it present/top of mind.  St. Francis de Sales employed a simple three-step method for a "Direction of Intention" prayer, designed to sanctify the day by beginning tasks with – Ask, Offer, Accept -  1) Ask: Before beginning any task, Ask for God's grace to be present and to perform the action for His love, 2) Offer: Offer all our actions, both interior and exterior, to God, along with our heart. Give Him the honor/glory, and 3) Accept: Accept whatever outcomes, challenges, or sacrifices result from that time in advance – thy will be done. I have used this methodology in my life before business meetings and presentations, before critical conversations, before a Coach Mahr talk – and found great peace in it.  Choice & Intentionality – not that we choose against the use of God’s grace, we simply do not choose for it. Personal responsibility and the idea that inaction is still a deliberate, consequential decision. If we do not choose, we have ultimately chosen to let the situation be decided by other factors. Be intentional and choose to ask for God’s grace. And if we want to be more attuned to God’s grace, we should strive to emulate Him by exhibiting grace with others – our family, friends, co-workers, and our neighbor. “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). We still row the boat… but we stop pretending we can control the current. We have to do more than ask God to do the heavy lifting, we have to let Him. In the words of St. Bede - “open our sails let God steer us where He will.”

Polished by the Rub

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” What if the very things that irritate us. The moments that frustrate us. The friction we feel. The disappointments we didn’t see coming. What if those are the exact tools God is using to refine us? We live in a culture that avoids discomfort at all costs. We numb it. We cancel it. We run from it. But Scripture tells us something radically different. “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” So maybe the question isn’t:“Why is this happening to me?” Maybe the better question is:“What is this doing in me?” A mirror that is never rubbed becomes distorted. Gold that never enters fire remains impure. A pearl exists only because of irritation. And yet — we’ve built a culture allergic to failure. We lower standards. Give trophies for participation. Remove suffering from the developmental process. Somewhere along the way, “trying” became and acceptable replacement for doing. Failure is not our enemy. Disappointment is not our ending. They are data points. We don’t grow without resistance. Why? Because suffering, correction, and failure are teachers. God wastes nothing. Not our failures. Not our wounds. Not our disappointments. Not even our scars. The rub is refining us.The fire is shaping us.The disappointment is revealing our heart. God doesn’t always rescue us from affliction — sometimes He saves us through it.  After the resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples — with scars. God raised Him from the dead… but He left the scars. Why? Scars are evidence. That we were wounded. That we healed. That we grew. Scars tell the story of redemption. They prove healing happened. They remind us of the price paid. Our scars matter — not because of the wound, but because of the healing. There is the adage that if a poisonous snake bites us, would we chase the snake or address the wound? The correct answer is to address the wound. We need to remove the source of the wound if it is still present, we need to clean and disinfect the wound site to prevent contamination. Today, too many of us want to chase the snake.  We may not control what happens to us. But we can choose not to be reduced by it. We are going to be rubbed.We are going to be tested. We are going to be disappointed.That’s not the exception. That’s the process. So don’t waste the rub. Let it polish us. Let it refine us. Let it redeem us. Because God is not done with our story yet. God is refining our character. Strengthening our faith. Preparing us for something greater. Ask ourselves a better question.“What is God trying to produce in me through this?”