Episode 44: Jodi's Path to Parenthood: Lessons for Your Own Journey

Episode 44: Jodi's Path to Parenthood: Lessons for Your Own Journey

In this episode Jennifer talks with Jodi Tolman, author, keynote speaker and online course creator devoted to helping others navigate the path to parenthood. After marrying her husband Jay at 40, and faced with infertility, Jodi spent six years pursuing treatment, adoption and donor egg IVF, ultimately building a family of three children. Jodi now helps others find their own best path to parenthood. Her story is shared in her best-selling memoir, “One From Each Column: My 46-Year Trek from Abusive Childhood to Elusive Motherhood.” Key topics discussed:  * Jodi’s discovery, at age 40, that she had age-related infertility, and how her resilience helped her face it * Why couples should identify their true priority - genetics, pregnancy, or parenting - early in the journey * How Jodi and her husband “double-tracked” treatment and adoption at the same time * The importance of building a trusted team - doctor, social worker, genetics counselor and mental health practitioner * Why relying on trusted professionals, rather than “Dr. Google” or AI tools, matters for fertility education * Staying hopeful and keeping an open mind through a long, uncertain journey * Learning to grieve the dream of a genetic child while embracing the wonder of however your child arrives * Ways male partners can stay engaged and feel involved throughout the process * Preparing thoughtful questions before every medical appointment * Jodi’s upcoming digital course, “From Powerless to Parenthood and Points Beyond” Resources Mentioned: * Jodi’s memoir: “One From Each Column: My 46-Year Trek from Abusive Childhood to Elusive Motherhood [https://joditolmanspeaks.com/jodis-book]” * Jodi’s upcoming digital course, “From Powerless to Parenthood and Points Beyond [https://joditolmanspeaks.com/the-course],” is launching soon  * All Paths Family Building [https://allpathsfb.org/], a New England-based nonprofit offering support groups, including for men Connect with Jodi * JodiTolmanSpeaks.com [https://joditolmanspeaks.com/] * Contact information for speaking engagements and consulting is available on her website Connect with Jennifer: * Schedule a free Fertility Support Session [https://jennredmond.com/contact/] * Follow Jennifer on Instagram for more tips and insights: @jennredmondinhc [https://www.instagram.com/jennredmondinhc/] I would be so grateful if you would subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with women in your life who can benefit from this information. Disclaimer: The Cycles and Seasons podcast is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your healthcare professional regarding any symptoms or medical problems you are experiencing.

Episode 43: PCOS is now PMOS

In this episode Jennifer talks with Dr. Maya Barsky about the recent renaming of PCOS to PMOS (Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome), what it means for diagnosis and treatment, and how this shift can empower women to better understand and manage their health.  Dr. Barsky is a double board-certified physician in Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility. She serves as a Lead Physician at the Center for Advanced Reproductive Services and is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, at UConn School of Medicine. Dr. Barsky also holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Investigation, where her thesis research focused on Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome (PMOS). She is passionate about helping individuals and couples from all walks of life navigate their family-building journeys with compassionate, evidence-based care. Her clinical interests include PMOS, reproductive surgery, diminished ovarian reserve, recurrent pregnancy loss, fertility preservation, and third-party reproduction. Key topics discussed:  * Why PCOS was renamed to PMOS (Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome) and what the new name better reflects about the condition. * The history of the condition from Stein-Leventhal syndrome (1935) through its evolution as an endocrine, metabolic and genetic disorder. * The three diagnostic criteria for PMOS (hyperandrogenism, polyfollicular ovaries/elevated AMH, and irregular cycles) and why only two of three are needed for diagnosis. * How PMOS affects the whole body throughout life, including endocrine, metabolic, cardiovascular, mental health and reproductive systems, not just during reproductive years. * Why up to 70% of women were diagnosed late under the previous name, and the challenges of diagnosing PMOS in adolescents and in women approaching menopause. * PMOS and fertility: why it is not a diagnosis of infertility, how irregular ovulation affects conception, and the range of treatment options from lifestyle changes to letrozole, IUI and IVF. * The role of lifestyle changes in managing PMOS: high-protein diet, reduced carb load, at least 150 minutes of movement per week, hydration and sleep.  * GLP-1 medications (Ozempic, Wegovy, Zepbound) and their potential benefits for PMOS, and why they must be discontinued 1–2 months before trying to conceive.  * Supplements for PMOS: the importance of prenatal vitamins with folic acid for those trying to conceive, and inositol as an alternative to metformin. * Dr. Barsky’s message to women who suspect they may have PMOS: there is no “typical” PMOS patient, the condition is not your fault and every woman deserves a clear diagnosis and a whole-person care plan Resources Mentioned: * Center for Advanced Reproductive Services [https://uconnfertility.com/] (UConn Fertility)  Connect with Dr. Maya Barsky * Instagram: @MayaBarskyMD [https://www.instagram.com/mayabarskymd/] *  Website: uconnfertility.com [https://uconnfertility.com/] Connect with Jennifer: * Schedule a free Fertility Support Session [https://jennredmond.com/contact/] * Follow Jennifer on Instagram for more tips and insights: @jennredmondinhc [https://www.instagram.com/jennredmondinhc/] I would be so grateful if you would subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with women in your life who can benefit from this information. Disclaimer: The Cycles and Seasons podcast is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your healthcare professional regarding any symptoms or medical problems you are experiencing.

Episode 42: Don't Be an Athena; Medical Gaslighting and Silent Endurance

In this episode Jennifer talks with Kayla Branstetter about the Greek myth of Medusa and Athena as a lens for understanding medical gaslighting, reproductive trauma and the cultural expectation that women endure their pain in silence.  Kayla is an English instructor at Crowder College, where she teaches literature, creative nonfiction, and composition. She is a published writer whose work has appeared in more than 40 journals worldwide, and the author of the creative nonfiction book Off With Her Head. A TEDx speaker and educator, her work centers on women’s health, narrative medicine, reproductive trauma, and the cultural expectations placed on women’s bodies and resilience. She is currently completing a Doctorate of Education in Healthcare, with research focused on narrative medicine and women’s healthcare.  Her forthcoming book, Don’t Be an Athena, examines reproductive health, medical gaslighting and the myth of silent endurance through storytelling, research and at times, dark humor. Key topics discussed:  * The Greek myth of Medusa and Athena, and how it shaped the title and framework of Kayla’s book, Don’t Be an Athena * How society tends to demonize women’s reproductive choices and experiences, from teen pregnancy and miscarriage to IVF, abortion and choosing not to become a mother * Kayla’s own experiences with infertility, miscarriage and medical gaslighting * The idea of “silent endurance” and where the centuries-old expectation that women must suffer quietly comes from * Missouri’s maternal and infant mortality rates, restrictive abortion laws and the challenges of accessing reproductive healthcare in rural areas * The need for comprehensive sex education and more supportive, paid parental leave policies * Kayla’s dissertation research on narrative medicine, the role of AI in healthcare and improving doctor-patient communication * The difference between treating “the chart” versus “the human,” and how storytelling builds trust between doctors and patients * What folk medicine traditions can teach modern medicine about accessibility and human connection * Endometriosis, the importance of self-advocacy, and how cultural expectations can make it harder for women to seek care Resources Mentioned: * Don’t Be an Athena [https://a.co/d/017Q7IWz]: Women’s Stories of Surviving Medical Misogyny. Kayla’s forthcoming book, releasing July 20th and available for pre-order now * Ozark Hollow Press [https://www.ozarkhollowpress.com] * Kayla’s TEDx talk, “Don’t Be an Athena” [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2VdZTr3ttY] (TEDxMSSU) * “Blood,” a short story by Zdravka Evtimova that Kayla discussed with her class while talking about folk medicine * The work of Dr. Rita Charon [https://sps.columbia.edu/person/rita-charon-md-phd], a founding figure in the field of narrative medicine Connect with Kayla Branstetter * https://kaylabranstetter.wordpress.com/ [https://kaylabranstetter.wordpress.com/] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kbranstetter87/] * LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kayla-branstetter/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/kaylabranstetter87/] (personal profile — she welcomes friend requests!) Connect with Jennifer: * Schedule a free Fertility Support Session [https://jennredmond.com/contact/] * Follow Jennifer on Instagram for more tips and insights: @jennredmondinhc [https://www.instagram.com/jennredmondinhc/] I would be so grateful if you would subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with women in your life who can benefit from this information. Disclaimer: The Cycles and Seasons podcast is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your healthcare professional regarding any symptoms or medical problems you are experiencing.

Episode 41: Navigating the Emotional Journey of Third-Party Reproduction with Alicia Abdella

In this episode Jennifer talks with Alicia Abdella, MSW, LICSW,  about the emotional and psychological dimensions of third-party reproduction, including egg donation and gestational surrogacy. Alicia is the founder of On the Path Counseling and Consultation, a specialized psychotherapy practice supporting individuals and couples through the emotional challenges of reproductive health. With 15 years of clinical experience, Alicia and her team of licensed therapists provide compassionate counseling for those navigating fertility struggles, IVF, pregnancy loss, third-party reproduction, and complex family-building decisions. Her practice is based in Andover, Massachusetts, with virtual services available in New Hampshire, Maine, Florida, and Massachusetts. Key topics discussed:  * What egg donation and gestational surrogacy are, and who uses them * The wide range of emotional starting points when considering donor egg or surrogacy * Why partners are rarely at the same emotional place at the same time, and how to navigate that * Normalizing ambivalence – you don’t have to be 100% on board right away * How the loss of a genetic connection reshapes feelings about bonding and parenthood * Disclosure decisions: navigating social stigma, family, culture and religion * Known vs. anonymous donors and surrogates: short-term and long-term considerations * Why true anonymity is no longer realistic in the age of direct-to-consumer DNA testing (23andMe, Ancestry.com) * Bonding with a baby you didn’t carry - what gestational surrogacy looks like emotionally for intended parents * The role of community and peer connection as a coping tool * What to expect from a therapy session or formal consult with a reproductive mental health professional * ASRM guidelines for mental health professional involvement in donor and gestational carrier cycles Resources Mentioned: * Fertility Forward — a support program in partnership with Terra Fertility (Boston area) * American Society for Reproductive Medicine [asrm.org] (ASRM) — asrm.org (practice guidelines for third-party reproduction) Connect with Alicia: * On the Path Counseling and Consultation [https://onthepathcc.com/] * Email: abdela@onthepathcc.com [abdela@onthepathcc.com] Connect with Jennifer: * Schedule a free Fertility Support Session [https://jennredmond.com/contact/] * Follow Jennifer on Instagram for more tips and insights: @jennredmondinhc [https://www.instagram.com/jennredmondinhc/] I would be so grateful if you would subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with women in your life who can benefit from this information. Disclaimer: The Cycles and Seasons podcast is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your healthcare professional regarding any symptoms or medical problems you are experiencing.

Episode 40: The Legal Side of Building Your Family with Janene Oleaga

In this episode Jennifer talks with Janene Oleaga, a family formation lawyer and reproductive rights advocate, about the legal side of building a family through assisted reproduction. Janene demystifies the role of a reproductive attorney and offers clear, grounding guidance for anyone navigating surrogacy, egg donation or donor conception.  Key Topics Discussed: * Janene explains what a reproductive attorney does and why reaching out before you begin your family-building journey - before selecting a surrogate, donor, or signing with an agency - can make a meaningful difference. * She describes what to expect from an initial consultation, and why her goal is for clients to leave feeling informed and more settled amid the uncertainty of the fertility journey. * Surrogacy law is governed at the state level and varies widely. Janene breaks down what that means for intended parents, especially when surrogacy arrangements cross state lines. * She walks through what a gestational surrogacy agreement covers and why she describes it as the roadmap for the entire journey, from embryo transfer through establishing legal parentage. * Janene addresses surrogacy in the news honestly, distinguishing between bad actors and the hundreds of ethical arrangements that never make headlines. * For those using an egg or sperm donor, Janene explains the difference between closed, semi-open and fully open arrangements, and why true anonymity is no longer a realistic promise in the age of consumer genetic testing. * She offers practical guidance on how to find a reproductive attorney, what questions to ask, and why - beyond credentials - trusting your gut matters most when building your team. * Janene speaks to the importance of legislative advocacy and reminds listeners that your personal story is your most powerful tool when talking to representatives.  Resources Mentioned: * Oleaga Law LLC [https://www.ivfesq.com] * AllPaths Family Building [https://www.allpathsfamilybuilding.org] * American Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) [https://www.adoptionattorneys.org] * American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) [https://www.asrm.org] * New England Fertility Society (NEFS) [https://www.newenglandfertility.org] * The Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS) [https://seedsethics.org/] Connect with Janene Oleaga: * IVFESQ.com [https://www.ivfesq.com] * Instagram: @IVFESQ [https://www.instagram.com/ivfesq/] Connect with Jennifer: * Schedule a free Fertility Support Session [https://jennredmond.com/contact/] * Follow Jennifer on Instagram for more tips and insights: @jennredmondinhc [https://www.instagram.com/jennredmondinhc/]I