DA433 | What's Underneath the Anger, Dad Daughter Dates, and Five Ways to Build a Bridge with Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield (Part 2)

DA433 | What's Underneath the Anger, Dad Daughter Dates, and Five Ways to Build a Bridge with Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield (Part 2)

SUMMARY I brought a real story to Dr. Michelle this week. A small mistake on my part, a hurt little girl, a defensive dad at bedtime, and my wife catching my eye across the room. What unfolded was a live coaching moment I needed more than I knew. Dr. Michelle gently walked me back through what I missed, what was actually under the anger, and how to do the repair that actually reaches a daughter's heart. If you have ever blown it with your kids and tried to talk your way out of it instead of leaning in, this conversation is for you. Takeaways * Anger is usually the front door. The real emotion sitting behind it is almost always sadness, fear, or confusion, and your kids feel that gap before you do. * When your child tells the story of how you hurt them, the most powerful thing you can say is three words. Tell me more. Then stay there longer than feels comfortable. * Defensiveness bombs the bridge to your kids' hearts and to their picture of God as Father. Compassion builds it. * Luke 15 verse 20 gives a five step pattern any dad can follow. He saw, he was filled with compassion, he ran, he threw his arms around, he kissed. * A consistent monthly daddy daughter date and a note in your own handwriting create anchors of memory your kids will carry into adulthood. Guest Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed counselor, speaker, and the host of The Dad Whisperer podcast. She founded The Abba Project, a nine month group for dads of daughters between thirteen and thirty, and has spent the last fifteen plus years coaching fathers in the work of pursuing their daughters' hearts. She is the author of Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You and Let's Talk, and her writing on fatherhood has reached dads in all fifty states and around the world. Quotes 1. "You guys are wired with tender hearts. Tough and tender is a powerful combination as a man." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield 2. "Under mad is usually sad or scared or confused. Lead with your heart more than your head." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield 3. "Tell me more. That's how she gets it out, and then it's not there between you anymore." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield 4. "Defensiveness bombs the bridge. Compassion builds it. That's the work of fathering a daughter's heart." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield 5. "Anchors of memory in a place. Find one or two spots that become yours together with your daughter." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

DA432 | The Closeness Gap, the Five Senses Experiment, and Dropping Your Anger with Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield (Part 1)

You probably think you're closer to your daughter than she'd say you are. The research keeps proving it. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is back with the question every dad of daughters should ask this week: ✅ The zero to ten question that closes the closeness gap ✅ Why one word of affirmation revives what looked dead ✅ A five senses experiment to pursue her on purpose ✅ Jeff opening up about missing it with his four year old the night before MOM AWESOME CHALLENGE > Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here [https://my.community.com/dadawesome] SUMMARY Most dads think they're closer to their daughters than they actually are. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield has spent 30 years sitting with dads and daughters in the gap between, and she came on DadAwesome to say it plain: your words water her dry soul, your anger can wipe out nine good days, and pursuit is the muscle every dad has to keep building. This is part one of a two part conversation, and Jeff brings a real story from the night before about missing it with his four year old. TAKEAWAYS * Pursuit is not a season. It does not end at the wedding or the hospital room. Your daughter and your wife need to be pursued today. * Ask your daughter the zero to ten question. Where would you rank our closeness, is that the number you want, and what can I do to be a better dad to you. * Your words land like water on dry soil. One sentence of affirmation can revive what looked dead four days ago. * Your anger will do more to shut her down than almost anything else. Repair every rupture. * Run the five senses experiment. Notice what you see in her, listen one minute longer than yesterday, tie smell to memory, speak one word of life, and give safe physical touch on purpose. GUEST Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed counselor, speaker, and the host of The Dad Whisperer Podcast. She founded The Abba Project in 2010, a group coaching experience for dads of daughters, and has written two books for fathers: Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You and Let's Talk. QUOTES * "Your words are like water to her dry soul. She will spring forth with beauty and color and life with your words." * "You can do nine things right and one anger response can wipe it out. You've got to make repair for the rupture." * "Every one of us as women have a God given place in us that wants to be seen, adored, championed, celebrated." * "Ask your daughter on a scale of zero to ten, where would you rank us? What can I do better?" * "What you see, she doesn't see. By pursuing and seeing and knowing us, we internalize it." Links: * Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here [https://my.community.com/dadawesome] * Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 * dadawesome.org/book [https://dadawesome.org/book] * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort [https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [https://www.dadawesome.org/book#:~:text=SIGN%20UP-,TODAY,-!] * DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast [http://dadawesome.org/podcast] * Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email awesome@dadawesome.org [awesome@dadawesome.org] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Dad Awesome book: dadawesome.org/book * Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield: drmichellewatson.com [http://drmichellewatson.com] * Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You by Dr. Michelle Watson [https://www.amazon.com/Dad-Heres-What-Really-Need/dp/0736958401] * Let's Talk by Dr. Michelle Watson [https://www.amazon.com/Lets-Talk-Conversation-Starters-Daughters-ebook/dp/B0821QBSDK/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_author_smart_catalog_0?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=i0kvd&content-id=amzn1.sym.aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_p=aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_r=143-2450827-2903966&pd_rd_wg=LVDrm&pd_rd_r=96de7c7a-aafd-4328-8766-06530c3aba6d] * The Dad Whisperer Podcast [https://www.drmichellewatson.com/podcast] * The Abba Project [https://www.drmichellewatson.com/theabbaproject] * Drop Your Anger video [https://www.instagram.com/reels/Cq3zYhCpD3P/]

DA431 | JOY BOMBS 💣, Nothing Is Lost, & the Interstellar Scene That Rewired a Dad (Daniel Chesnut)

There's a moment in Interstellar where Matthew McConaughey sits down and watches 25 years of video messages from the kids he left behind. Daniel Chesnut drove home from that movie snot-crying, climbed into bed next to his sleeping two-year-old, and asked God a simple question: why is this wrecking me? What he heard back changed the way he has fathered for the last decade. In this conversation, Daniel shares listening prayer with your kids, why vulnerability is actually strength, how to play the long game with a 14-year-old, and the truth that's rescuing him in every transition: nothing is lost. ✅ The listening prayer practice he does with his 14-year-old son every year ✅ Why spending your 30s building a future can cost you the people you're building it for ✅ How to cultivate access to your kid's heart (hint: it's not across the couch) ✅ The truth rescuing him in every transition: nothing is lost Takeaways * Ask God for a word or theme for the year, and invite your kids into the same practice. Take the pressure off of timing. * When a movie, a song, or a moment wrecks you, pay attention. It's a knock on the door of your heart. * Spend your 30s becoming the kind of man who can be entrusted with more, instead of building a future your family won't want to share with you. * Cultivate access to your kid's heart. Delight in what they delight in. Talk over sushi or on the drive, not across the couch. * Nothing is lost. Every missed moment, every transition, every thing you wish you could get back is being restored. Guest Daniel Chesnut is a filmmaker, storyteller, and the founder of Process Creative. He and his wife Katie live in Southern California with their 14-year-old son Brooklyn. Daniel has spent years helping people tell their stories on film and is part of the Pursuit Beach Fitness men's discipleship community. He writes about fatherhood, faith, and becoming on his Substack. Quotes 1. "The strongest man on the sand is the most vulnerable man on the sand." 2. "I made time. I created time. And I can make time work for you, not against you." 3. "Spend the next decade becoming the kind of person who can be entrusted with more in 10 years." 4. "Whatever you do, cultivate access to your kid's heart. That's it. Just stay in their life." 5. "Nothing is lost. Even the moments you regret are being restored." Links * Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here [https://my.community.com/dadawesome] * Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 * DADAWESOME Book:dadawesome.or [https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Cage-Break-Free-Become/dp/B0FYV9JJNW]g/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort [https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [https://www.dadawesome.org/book#:~:text=SIGN%20UP-,TODAY,-!] * DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast [http://dadawesome.org/podcast] * Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email awesome@dadawesome.org [awesome@dadawesome.org] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Becoming a King by Morgan Snyder [https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-King-Path-Restoring-Heart/dp/0785232117/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.SdiK8RAr0Up_CeIF9WoORUjMw4miRTXi6Bm-VyEESToU5P0K681vN3nvEOFbtW7OErYxVx94wFGI3dF1eU1pNA.7SO2tVlflEizEuJum5j9L21hmU2ik257CmoJG2GG8lI&qid=1776706328&sr=8-1] * Walking with God by John Eldredge [https://www.amazon.com/Walking-God-How-Hear-Voice/dp/071808098X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.CayxRhXcfhJBiNlC8ZiWcRbaBebEgcYS621u9Tz9QKQkmubHflYPQ4VopwAbq6Htd-vKMh6Y-wijdRlQmc6Dohdfn2TbckuC-ghew6p3_G5KZsm5HBiKWcGC5udNFN9KeHZSGH7mLW01Iimoz6v0l0rWeSmKnWrK0_3fXegg91ldXBYuFhuS5tSLr62aLAi3nSILOt3sWY25u8zcEa9cz8Re0cRNK3kZnux4IXSQVnM.zHr0uMpmQusUTZCdzm64xJpH_gEvXm2w_FO2q9LJ9Xw&qid=1776706351&sr=8-1] * Interstellar (film) and soundtrack by Hans Zimmer [https://youtu.be/YF1eYbfbH5k?si=j6DFJenXKgxCiHiT] * Process Creative (Daniel's company) [https://processcreative.co/] * Pursuit Beach Fitness [https://joinpursuit.co/] * BABY SWIM LESSONS [https://youtu.be/QZ94pRB8obU?si=k6bDT3vTPr7q00Uf] - The Ultimate Routine to Help Our 2 YR OLD Swim and Deep Dive Underwater (The Bucket List Family)

DA430 | Core Memories, Unhealed Wounds, and What It Looks Like When a Dad Does the Inner Work (Mark Odland)

Most dads are carrying something they never dealt with... Mark Odland is a trauma therapist who works with high achieving men, and he joined us for one of the most honest conversations we've had on this show. ✅ How stuck memories quietly affect the way you parent ✅ A simple tapping technique you can use with your kids right now ✅ Why doing your inner work is one of the most important things you can do for your family SUMMARY Most dads are carrying something they never dealt with. In this episode, therapist Mark Odland explains how unprocessed memories stay stuck in the brain and quietly shape the way you parent, the way you react, and the way you show up at home. You'll also hear what trauma therapy actually is, why doing the inner work is one of the bravest things a dad can do, and how healing in one generation changes everything for the next. TAKEAWAYS * When your nervous system gets overwhelmed, memories can get stored in a way that doesn't heal properly and that affects you more than you realize years later. * The "butterfly hug" tapping technique is something you can use with your kids in real time to help a hard moment not become a stuck wound. * Trauma therapy helps the brain do what it was already designed to do, heal itself when the right conditions are present. * The cage many high achieving men live in isn't always visible from the outside. But deep down, they know something's in the way. * Whatever you wish your dad had done differently with you, ask yourself if you're doing that with your kids. That question is a powerful starting point. * Doing one therapy session doesn't commit you to years on a couch. It's just a first step, and first steps create momentum. GUEST Mark Odland is a licensed therapist, trauma specialist, and the founder of Lion Counseling. He's also the author of Escape the Cage. Mark and his wife have four kids and live in Duluth, Minnesota, where yes, he has surfed Lake Superior. QUOTES * "As long as we have the opportunity to be connected to safety and truth, the brain can heal itself." — Mark Odland * "You don't have to sign your life away. Just do one therapy appointment." — Mark Odland * "Whatever invisible force is keeping you in a cage, the dad you want to be is in there." — Mark Odland * "If you can't muster up the belief that you're worth it, look at a picture of your family. They are worth it." — Mark Odland * "Some healing usually proceeds breakthrough. Doing some looking back before you try to propel forward." — Jeff Zaugg LINKS * Escape the Cage by Mark Odland [https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Cage-Break-Free-Become/dp/B0FYV9JJNW] * https://escapethecagenow.com/ [https://escapethecagenow.com/] * Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here [https://my.community.com/dadawesome] * DADAWESOME Book:dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort [https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [https://www.dadawesome.org/book#:~:text=SIGN%20UP-,TODAY,-!] * DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast [http://dadawesome.org/podcast] * Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book]

DA429 | Loaded Guns, Unprocessed Grief, and the Dad Who Can't Regulate His Own Emotions with Seth Dahl

"A man who can't regulate his emotions forces his wife and kids to do it for him." Seth Dahl back for a 5th conversation on DadAwesome. He breaks down what's actually happening when dad loses it and what it takes to change. ✅ Why emotional dysregulation is an identity issue, not just a temper problem ✅ The loaded gun analogy that will change how you think about anger at home ✅ Teen boundaries, the Wise Phone, and how to give freedom without losing your mind SUMMARY A man who can't regulate his emotions forces his wife and kids to do it for him. That's the hard truth Seth Dahl drops early in this conversation, and it only gets more honest from there. This is a raw, alumni-only Zoom call that turned into something worth sharing with every dad who's ever lost it over something stupid and wondered why. Takeaways: * If you can be triggered, you're identifying with something more than your role as a dad. That's an identity issue, not just a temper issue. * Unprocessed emotions don't disappear. They show up as anger, porn, checked-out dads, and kids walking on eggshells. * God's model in Genesis wasn't control. It was influence with a boundary. That's the parenting theology most of us are missing. * For teenagers, the online world is the living room. Know who they're talking to, just like you would if they came to your house. * The Wise Phone gives kids what they need without what gets them in trouble. GUEST: Seth Dahl is an author, speaker, grief recovery specialist, and emotional health coach. He and his wife have three kids and have developed a deep framework around completing past emotions, processing present emotions, and shaping future ones. Seth is a longtime friend of DadAwesome and is featured in the DADAWESOME book. LINKS * Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here [https://my.community.com/dadawesome] * Emotionally Skilled Fatherhood Course with Seth Dahl (Interest Form) [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfd0siqBRDs5la3Q3AnmcSZdB0wDN5dNVa3PU6w3rxQpSBIvw/viewform?usp=sharing&ouid=110477332014589682054] * Wise Phone * Radiant Mobile * DADAWESOME Book:dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort [https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching] * Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 * Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome [https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome] * 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [https://www.dadawesome.org/book#:~:text=SIGN%20UP-,TODAY,-!] * DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast [http://dadawesome.org/podcast] * Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book [http://dadawesome.org/book] * SETH DAHL [https://sethdahl.com/]