Mind vs. Heart: Which Version of Your Spouse Are You Married To?

Mind vs. Heart: Which Version of Your Spouse Are You Married To?

Host Paul explains that we perceive our spouse in two ways: the mind (facts, behaviour) and the heart (feelings shaped by past hurts). When the heart is driven by old wounds, it creates a ‘Hyde’ version that magnifies faults and erodes grace. The episode offers a simple solution: work to get your heart to see what your mind already knows—address past influences and choose the Jekyll view of your partner so marriage can thrive.

Speaking Up in the Bedroom: The Cost of Pretending and Faking

In this episode Paul explains how silence, pretending, and failing to ask for what you need damage sex and marriage. He covers why people fake orgasms, why foreplay and clear feedback matter for both partners, and how embarrassment or fear of rejection keeps couples stuck. Paul urges listeners to open the dialogue about desires and needs so sex can be better for both partners and the marriage can heal and grow.

When "I'm Sorry" Isn't Enough: Responding to a Spouse Who Won't Let Go

This episode explores what to do when a spouse refuses to forgive, exaggerates past wrongs, or uses them to manipulate and gain sympathy. It explains common patterns—blown-up accusations, assigned intentions, and repeated rehashing—and why these behaviors harm the relationship. Practical guidance includes apologizing and repenting when necessary, setting calm boundaries, refusing to be drawn into manipulation, and insisting that past issues already dealt with be left behind. The message: acknowledge wrongs, then protect the marriage by refusing to play the game of ongoing blame.

The Sidetrack Trap: Deflecting Questions Damages Communication

This episode explains how sidetracking and deflecting derail communication in marriage, with common examples like counter-questions, “you did it too,” and unrelated attacks. Learn simple, practical steps to redirect the conversation, assert your right to be heard, and lead by example so both partners can resolve issues respectfully.

Why Letting Bad Tactics Work Damages Your Marriage

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (June 9, 2026), Paul explains how allowing manipulative tactics—anger, threats, the silent treatment, or emotional blackmail—to work damages marriages, using a personal story to illustrate the dynamics. He outlines clear responses: refuse to tolerate harmful tactics, set firm boundaries (walk away or get help), involve trusted third parties when threats or danger are possible, and seek professional support to change entrenched patterns.