My Teenager Is Failing: The Truth About Building Resilience - Ep. 72

My Teenager Is Failing: The Truth About Building Resilience - Ep. 72

Has a failing grade ever made you want to step in and fix everything? That instinct comes from love, but it may be quietly taking a brick out of the foundation of your teenager's confidence. In this episode, I share three things parents do when a teenager is failing that actually make things worse, and the better response for each one. I start with a real story: a friend whose son was failing a high-level math class and my one question that changed what she did next. A failing grade is not a verdict. It is a signal. My research found that teenagers have a deep desire to succeed, and when we rescue them from failure, we rob them of the one thing that actually builds self-worth: knowing they did it themselves. I also look at Jonathan Haidt's work on the anxious generation and why children need challenge and stress to become anti-fragile. And I walk through the shame distinction that changes everything: there is a world of difference between "I am a mistake" and "I made a mistake." I close with the one question that reframes how we see our teenager's struggles entirely. Because you cannot build resilience in a child you are too afraid to let struggle. 👉 Get my free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at drsuzannesimpson.com Find my interview playlist on YouTube Dr Suzanne Simpson, at Get On Their Turf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC8JprFdrPA&list=PLi7xFsX7h7tdxBsVx38UIRVrvnCc_9IBW [http://www.youtube.com/@Encountering-wk7wx] New releases every second Monday 8:00 am PST. 👉 Get the free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at www.drsuzannesimpson.com [http://www.drsuzannesimpson.com/] Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson [https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209] Please note that the contents of this website are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated.

How to Stop Yelling at Your Teenager and Keep Your Cool - Ep. 71

How to Stop Yelling at Your Teenager and Keep Your Cool - Ep. 71 If you've ever lost your temper with your teenager and hated yourself for it afterward, this episode is for you. Samantha Boss is a single mum, a parent coach, and someone who will be the first to tell you she didn't always have it together. She spent years yelling, reacting, and reaching for the wrong things to cope. Then she made a decision to change, not because it was easy, but because her kids needed her to. Today her kids call her when chaos hits them. Not their friends. Her. In this conversation, Samantha and I talk about what it actually takes to stop yelling at your teenager, not just white-knuckling through the hard moments, but doing the deeper work that makes regulation possible in the first place. In this episode: · Why a parent's mood shapes a teenager's emotional safety before a single word is spoken · The number system Samantha used with her kids and why they started using it themselves · What to do when you need to take a break in a fight without it feeling like abandonment · The one question parents ask when they come back after a fight that puts their teenager right back into it · Why parents who swore they'd be different end up repeating the same cycle, and how to actually break it · What Samantha's decade of work on herself produced in her relationship with her kids If you're in the middle of the hard part and wondering whether the work is worth it, this episode will show you what's possible on the other side. Connect with Samantha Boss: https://www.samanthaboss.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theuglytruthofdivorce/ Get on Their Turf with Dr. Suzanne Simpson is an educational podcast for parents who want to connect with their teenagers before crisis hits. My work is grounded in 30 years of experience working with teenagers and doctoral research into what kids actually need from the adults in their lives. Disclaimer: The contents of this podcast are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated. Find my interview playlist on YouTube Dr Suzanne Simpson, at Get On Their Turf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC8JprFdrPA&list=PLi7xFsX7h7tdxBsVx38UIRVrvnCc_9IBW [http://www.youtube.com/@Encountering-wk7wx] New releases every second Monday 8:00 am PST. 👉 Get the free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at www.drsuzannesimpson.com [http://www.drsuzannesimpson.com/] Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson [https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209] Please note that the contents of this website are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated.

How to Talk to Your Teenager About Screens Without Starting a Fight Ep. 70

When your teenager won't put the phone down, the fight that follows is rarely really about the phone. In this episode, I walk you through what is actually driving your teenager's resistance, why leading with rules alone makes it worse, and the shift that changes everything: moving from a control mindset to a connection mindset. I have spent 30 years working with teenagers, including five years inside a youth psychiatric unit. What I saw over and over again is that the teens who struggled most with boundaries were not defiant. They were disconnected. And the parents who found their way back to influence were not the ones with the strictest rules. They were the ones who got regulated first. What we cover in this episode: · Why unplugging feels like a genuine threat to your teenager's sense of belonging · How to set firm digital boundaries without damaging the relationship in the process · Why your calm, regulated presence is more powerful than any rule, consequence, or app blocker · The three steps that move you out of the power struggle and into real influence You don't need all the answers to the ever-changing digital world. You need to stay present, stay curious, and lead with connection before you lead with correction. ➜ Free guide: 8 Ways to Get on Your Kid's Turf: www.drsuzannesimpson.com Chapters: 0:40 Why Phone Fights Keep Happening  1:20 The Real Reason Parents Lose Authority  2:00 Why Your Regulation Comes First  2:40 What Cigarettes Teach Us About Phone Culture  3:40 Smartphones and Teen Mental Health  4:25 Step 1: Decide What You Stand For  5:20 Step 2: Be the Leader, Not the Friend  6:20 Step 3: Build Connection Before Conflict  7:15 What Happens When You Hold the Line 8:00 Why This Matters More Than You Think Find my interview playlist on YouTube Dr Suzanne Simpson, at Get On Their Turf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC8JprFdrPA&list=PLi7xFsX7h7tdxBsVx38UIRVrvnCc_9IBW [http://www.youtube.com/@Encountering-wk7wx] New releases every second Monday 8:00 am PST. 👉 Get the free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at www.drsuzannesimpson.com [http://www.drsuzannesimpson.com/] Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson [https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209] Please note that the contents of this website are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated.

The Mask of "Fine": Cea Sunrise Person on Why Teens Hide the Truth

When your teenager says "I'm fine" but your gut tells you otherwise, you aren't imagining it. In this episode, Dr. Suzanne Simpson sits down with Cea Sunrise Person, bestselling author of North of Normal and Nearly Normal, to talk about the "mask" - the survival strategy many kids use to hide a chaotic or painful home life from the adults around them. Cea grew up off-the-grid in a teepee, moved to a city at 13, and became a high-fashion model in Europe. Behind that success was a child who had become a master at performing "normal" to keep her secrets safe. Her story is one parents and educators need to hear. In this conversation: * Why the "good girl" who never causes trouble is often carrying the most * How social media trains today's teens to perform and hide every single day * Warning signs: extreme people-pleasing and not wanting to go home * How to respond when your child says "I'm fine" and you know they aren't * The power of being a "sponge" for your child's pain instead of trying to fix it A key takeaway from this episode: kids don't struggle in adult life because they went through trauma as children. They struggle because they went through it alone. Find my interview playlist on YouTube Dr Suzanne Simpson, at Get On Their Turf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC8JprFdrPA&list=PLi7xFsX7h7tdxBsVx38UIRVrvnCc_9IBW [http://www.youtube.com/@Encountering-wk7wx] New releases every second Monday 8:00 am PST. 👉 Get the free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at www.drsuzannesimpson.com [http://www.drsuzannesimpson.com/] Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson [https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209] Please note that the contents of this website are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated.

How to Support a Teenager with Anxiety: 6 Things That Actually Help

If your child struggles with anxiety, you are not alone and you are not powerless. In this episode, I share six practical ways to support your teenager with anxiety from the home front. I draw on what I learned the hard way as a parent, and what I brought into my classroom inside a youth psychiatric unit. This is not about being perfect. It is about showing up with the tools that actually work. In this episode: · Why validating your child's anxiety matters more than understanding it · How to create a calm, safe home that actually reduces anxious responses · The questions I wish I had asked my own daughter · When to seek professional support and how to make the most of it as a parent · The three words I used every day in the psychiatric unit that can change everything for your child When you show up with patience, presence, and a willingness to learn, your child does not just feel supported. They feel safe with you. TIMESTAMPS  0:00 Where to start 1:00 Way 1: Validate their anxiety 2:00 What I got wrong with my daughter 3:00 Way 2: Creating a safe home 4:00 Why your tone of voice matters 5:00 When kids don't feel safe at home 6:00 Way 3: Be a learner 7:00 Helping your child through anxious thoughts 8:00 Exposure therapy explained 9:00 Way 4: Ask better questions 10:00 Way 5: Seek professional support 11:00 Medication as one tool 12:00 Way 6: Learn and relearn patience 13:00 Allowing time for the process 14:00 Good enough parenting is enough 15:00 In this moment - three words that change everything 16:00 Closing Find my interview playlist on YouTube Dr Suzanne Simpson, at Get On Their Turf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC8JprFdrPA&list=PLi7xFsX7h7tdxBsVx38UIRVrvnCc_9IBW [http://www.youtube.com/@Encountering-wk7wx] New releases every second Monday 8:00 am PST. 👉 Get the free guide "8 Ways to Get on Your Kids' Turf" at www.drsuzannesimpson.com [http://www.drsuzannesimpson.com/] Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesimpson/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuzannesimpson/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson [https://www.tiktok.com/@drsuzannesimpson]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566148964209] Please note that the contents of this website are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only. Testimonials of lived experiences are opinion only and have not been scientifically evaluated.