Friendship Futurism

Marcela and I expose the most common mistakes people make on a date, when to decide to lower your standards, whether a matchmaker’s job is more like a data scientist or a therapist, what people get wrong about online dating [https://billmei.net/blog/why-dating-apps-dont-work], and how to use AI to find a partner. Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email [https://billmei.net/email] Follow Bill Mei on Instagram: https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet [https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet] Visit friendshipfuturism.com [https://friendshipfuturism.com] for show notes, events, and bonus blog posts Check out Tawkify at https://tawkify.com/?rf=partn15lma [https://tawkify.com/?rf=partn15lma] Ready for a stress-free way to date that doesn't involve endless swiping? Tawkify, the largest relationship wellness company in America, has an exclusive offer for our community. Click the link [https://tawkify.com/?rf=partn15lma] to receive a complimentary membership to their Matchmaking Club. The membership includes unlimited potential matches with their amazing clients, matches hand-selected and personally vetted by their dating experts, and each date planned for you. Make dating a priority and join the club here: https://tawkify.com/?rf=partn15lma [https://tawkify.com/?rf=partn15lma]

The tables are turned as Lisa (from Ep. 7 [https://friendshipfuturism.com/7]) interviews Bill on her podcast, Creative in Process [https://creativeinprocess.buzzsprout.com/2062238/12511005]. I talk about how to attract people with strong opinions, why creativity is a skill [https://billmei.net/blog/creativity] and not based on luck, the future (nonexistent) people I’m most inspired by, and my #1 tip to avoid getting replaced by AI. Lisa's LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/xialisa/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/xialisa/] Subscribe to Creative in Process at https://bit.ly/creativeinprocesswbill [https://creativeinprocess.buzzsprout.com/2062238/12511005] Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email [https://billmei.net/email] Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/billmeidotnet [https://www.instagram.com/billmeidotnet] Visit friendshipfuturism.com [http://friendshipfuturism.com] for show notes, events, and bonus blog posts

Kat and I talk about the power dynamics between young and old people, the latest longevity and anti-aging research you can apply to your life, how to stand out in a group discussion, and how to get hundreds of people interested in deep technical topics. Kat [https://twitter.com/KKajderowicz] is the founder of DNA Deviants [https://twitter.com/dnadeviants], a synthetic biology community with a weekly journal club and tons of interesting events. Follow DNA Deviants on Twitter: https://twitter.com/dnadeviants [https://twitter.com/dnadeviants] Follow Kat on Twitter: https://twitter.com/KKajderowicz [https://twitter.com/KKajderowicz] or Substack https://katkaj.substack.com/ [https://katkaj.substack.com/] Join the DNA Deviants Slack group: https://dnadeviants.slack.com/join/shared_invite/zt-19i1uoa1t-vbki_ZZi_ztlg~SQ00l7AA#/shared-invite/email [https://dnadeviants.slack.com/join/shared_invite/zt-19i1uoa1t-vbki_ZZi_ztlg~SQ00l7AA#/shared-invite/email] Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email [https://billmei.net/email] Follow Bill Mei on Instagram: https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet [https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet] Visit friendshipfuturism.com [https://friendshipfuturism.com] for show notes, events, and bonus blog posts

Neville and I chat about how to 100x your engagement in online communities, specific tactics you can implement to make other people want to talk to you at conferences and parties, strategic risk taking when sneaking into events, and how to resist propaganda. I credit a lot of my writing talent to Neville's mentorship; he is the one of the most talented writers and communicators I know. Neville runs Copywriting Course, a paid community with over 1,000 members learning how to write well and sell like hell. 1:00 Jumping out of a plane into an active volcano https://copywritingcourse.com/test-death/ [https://copywritingcourse.com/test-death/] 2:40 How do you manage a paid community? Kopywriting Kourse: https://copywritingcourse.com/ [https://copywritingcourse.com/] Facebook vs. custom forums 4:30 90-9-1 rule https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%25_rule [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%25_rule] How do you get lurkers to be more active in a community? 8:00 How do you get regular contributors to become super enthusiastic posters? 9:10 90-9-1 rule as applied to friendships Why do some friends end up being 1 and others end up being 90? 10:45 Getting to know your neighbour 12:15 How do you make friends if you are homeless? 14:00 Coworking as a way to get to know strangers from the internet The internet as a way to better connect with people, compared to a random person at a bar 16:30 Finding people who intersect in both geographic and intellectual space. 18:00 Going to parties where it's all new people 18:35 What have you learned about sneaking into parties? Social engineering and tactics to meet new strangers at parties How specifically to introduce yourself at a party How to bootstrap yourself into a party where you don't know anyone Having a goal for what you want out of a gathering, when you are an attendee 23:45 How do you apply social engineering to your life? Specific tactics to talk to new people, inviting them to events, matching someone's energy level 25:10 How do you come up with creative ideas and opportunities? How can more people develop that skill? How to think about risk Calculating the prior probability—what are the baseline statistics around how likely you will fail? 27:00 How to be okay with risk? 29:45 How do you resist other peoples' good persuasion skills? 33:10 How to make maximum money in minimum time Exaggerated advertising and copywriting 36:00 Debunking scams 37:00 Calling something a "scam" as classism, as someone without advantages has an opportunity to relate to someone who can speak to their struggles as a doorway into learning more about business The closest people you can relate with when you didn’t grow up in a privileged background 39:00 Neville's tips for awesome in person events? 40:45 Surprisingly easier than you think to speak at a conference PaperCall https://www.papercall.io [https://www.papercall.io] 42:00 Going to conferences to watch the talks versus hanging out in the lobby to meet people 43:15 Dividing your personal time between meeting new people and spending time deepening your existing friendships 45:00 Set goals: say hello to 5 people, and don’t go back to your hotel room until you do. How to get out of a conversation you don’t want to be in? 46:10 Neville’s secret thoughts about friendship Always have a plan on what to do, so you can invite them to it afterwards Always getting someone’s contact information Planning events pretty often, so you always have an open invite for new friends 49:00 Order $200 of appetizers at a hotel bar/restaurant, buy your own drink, and get a relationship with the hotel on a Tuesday 51:30 Why not to hire a personal chef? Check out the Copywriting Course at https://copywritingcourse.com [https://copywritingcourse.com] Follow Neville on Twitter: https://twitter.com/nevmed [https://twitter.com/nevmed] Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email [https://billmei.net/email] Follow Bill Mei on Instagram: https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet [https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet] Visit friendshipfuturism.com [http://friendshipfuturism.com/] for show notes, events, and bonus blog posts

Lisa and I talk about the dark side of extraversion, how to manage the energy and conversation dynamic of a group, what non-religious people can learn about church communities, tips for storytelling and authentic relating, and the magic of diversity and bridging divides. Lisa is a human-centered creative who vlogs, innovates on meditation, and teaches at her church. 0:30 What's the dark side of Lisa Xia? 2:30 Spying on your friends 5:30 Extravert's paradise 6:30 Energy and conversation dynamics of groups 9:10 How do you maintain extravert energy online when there's no social cues? 14:40 Hogging the microphone 15:50 Do you want to be an influencer? What do you want to be known for? 17:00 Building bridges and intersectionality 20:00 Seeing people as having more similarities than differences 21:18 What can a non-religious person learn about small groups at church? 22:45 What are the biggest things that non-religious people don't understand about church communities? 24:30 What's an example of a "bad question" that doesn't sound good? 26:30 Disturbing the peace 27:45 Is prayer just a form of meditation? 31:25 Did prayer get you interested in meditation? 34:10 Meditation and cloudwatching 35:50 What is a unique or interesting activity to do for a birthday party? Birthdays as an orchestral choreography of your friends. 40:40 Do you have any storytelling tips? Is it possible to authentically relate to a corporation? 43:10 Dangers of parasocial relationships Lisa’s LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/xialisa/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/xialisa/] The Mindful Soul YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCszh0xUIQ1jWQzRVdmCHd4g [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCszh0xUIQ1jWQzRVdmCHd4g] Lisa’s YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7gUvEcfjYWEUW_kvc1YkPQ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7gUvEcfjYWEUW_kvc1YkPQ] Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email [https://billmei.net/email] Follow Bill Mei on Instagram: https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet [https://instagram.com/billmeidotnet] Visit friendshipfuturism.com [http://friendshipfuturism.com] for show notes, events, and bonus blog posts